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The struggles of interracial dating...
Topic Started: Jan 20 2007, 07:25 AM (312 Views)
4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
Someone forwarded these letters to me a few minutes ago. Basically, a white woman sent in a letter to Sister 2 Sister magazine, which is a magazine targeted mostly to African-Americans (especially women). In response, a black man sent in a letter that pretty much flamed the white woman. I thought it was a compelling, yet flawed reading. Some of what was stated just burned me up! I will post my views sometime soon, as this is already a long read as it is:

Disgusted White Girl
 
Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.

I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...

I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA



Black Royalty
 
RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.

Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.

Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty


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15 Shows
Aint cheatin aint tryin
Well all I got to say is white women are hotter then black women. That would most likely explain why guys like them better. And yeah alot of them are loud or fat. And the worst are the fat loud black women. Remember what's her name Cybrus from LCS. Roz or something like that. All she did was scream.
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4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
Well I am plenty biased, but there are many beautiful black women out there. Because your preference are white girls, does not mean all of them are "hotter" than black women. I think that's a very juvenile, shallow thing to say.
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Cybrus
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STAY HYPED!!!
What a bunch of drivel, both letters. All black women are not "too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage" and all white women are not "docile and easy to control". Both should be ashamed of writing such generalized rubbish. :td:
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4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
Cybrus
Jan 20 2007, 02:40 AM
What a bunch of drivel, both letters. All black women are not "too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage" and all white women are not "docile and easy to control". Both should be ashamed of writing such generalized rubbish. :td:

Damn straight. I hated how the white girl said that black women need to learn from people like her because they're "taking our men". :rolleyes: As for the brutha's letter, he was just as idiotic. "I can't be with a white girl because they're slutty weaklings".

It's a shame that topics like this really bring out people's true colors. When I was younger (around middle-high school age), I had a big preference for white guys and was absolutely belittled and ridiculed from my family and black friends. "Oh Darlene, you're turning your back on your race." "Darlene, white people are so racist, look at what they did to our people hundreds of years ago." "Darlene, white guys hate black girls, they only secretly wanna be with them because they think black girls are hoes".

It really angered me, and still does to this day that people from any race think like this.
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MY85
It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
Let the flamefest begin in Sister To Sister. I bet a lot of people will jump on DWG. Where's the link on this thing?

And I thought it would be harder for a black guy to get a white chick. I usually had the impression that it was harder to satisfy a white girl and black girls are a bit easier to deal with.

I can tell both DWG and BL comes from different societies.

In short:
White girl -> Tits.
Black girl -> Ass.
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4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
Well where I live, and probably this is common in where -O- lives as well, there's A LOT of interracial dating. I usually see an interracial couple, especially black/white, several times a day. It's just common here and it's not a big deal, or at least I thought.

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Cybrus
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STAY HYPED!!!
As far as one race being easier than the other, I'm white so I've dated white girls before. I've also dated black girls before. I really didn't see any differences between the races when it came to dating. Both races liked to do things that we found fun. Both races liked to have a certain level of control in the relations (I'm not saying they were controlling, but at the same time they didn't want to be controlled). Neither race was sluttier than the other. Maybe it's just because both fell within my type of woman, but I didn't really see any difference. Bottom line, if you want a slutty girl, you can find them in every race. If you want a push over, you can find them in every race. If you want a girl that respects herself, respects you, has goals, and knows who she is, then you can find that in ever race as well. You find what you are looking for.
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4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
^Very true.

I also want to hear from some of the black male posters here, as I know there a few of them here....
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BrownMania
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I don't really know what to add, but as a young white male coming from a university with a very high international population (mainly Asian and African) I find women of all sexes very beautiful. While I have only dated white women, I have no preference and never will. It's just women like Queen Latifah that perpetuate that stereotype of big and loud, while I'm sure Latifah is a fine person, I hate her alot lol. But I digress, as I was saying, there shouldn't have to be any stigmas lent to interracial dating because it's a fact of life, men are men and women are women. I guess coming from a laid back part of Canada I'm not really privy to many real racial feelings but I still think it's ridiculous to still think of interracial dating as something odd. It's just life. Anyhow I'm drunk and none of this probably really makes sense but whatever lol, power to the people. :grin:
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BrownMania
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I should add that "small-town Canada" isn't exactly a progressive thinking region and is as backward as some places can get but I persoanlly have never been expose to authentic feelings of racism and that's porbably one of the main reasons I harbor no ill feeligns towrads woemn of other races.
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4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
Aaah, what I'd give to have a drink right now...

As I stated earlier, when I was younger up until a year ago or so, I had a preference of white males. Being a psych major, I examined why that was and realized that I knew all along why that was but refused to accept it.

I grew up in a mostly white, yet very diverse suburban neighborhood. I mean, something you'd see on Full House or something. I grew up thinking I related to whites more, so that's what I went for. But I would start falling for the wrong guys and wonder why they had no interest in me. Whether it was because I wasn't white, wasn't pretty enough, wasn't up to their standards, I don't know but it really forced me to re-examine my tastes.

Nowadays, I have no preference, though white males have sort of fallen to the back in terms of what I go for. :lol: Just kidding. What I'm trying to say is I think interracial dating is one of the best things this world has to offer. Because you're one race, doesn't confine you to dating within it. However, if that's your tastes, more power to you.
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Cybrus
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STAY HYPED!!!
4400TVJunkie
Jan 20 2007, 03:26 AM
What I'm trying to say is I think interracial dating is one of the best things this world has to offer.

I agree with that. I think we should all fuck until we create one unified race. If everyone is the same race, then their can't be racism anymore. I'll do my part to help out. How you doin, Junkie :naughty:. Just kidding.
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MY85
It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
I want a cigarette!

4400TVJunkie
Jan 20 2007, 02:46 AM
When I was younger (around middle-high school age), I had a big preference for white guys and was absolutely belittled and ridiculed from my family and black friends. "Oh Darlene, you're turning your back on your race." "Darlene, white people are so racist, look at what they did to our people hundreds of years ago." "Darlene, white guys hate black girls, they only secretly wanna be with them because they think black girls are hoes".

Hmm... that reminded me one thing I hated about black people and that was to stick only to their own race. Hope I'm not offending you with that. Not only some black people stick to their race, this is also more noticed between Asian people as well.

I do like interracial dating, it gives you some extra feeling due to the variety and you can learn a lot from it. I also happened to be a high-school student at a peruvian-chinese school, so I grew up myself to like Asian chicks more than white chicks or latina girls. Now I was falling for a Japanese girl some time ago, but she just "sticked to her own race". Also, while I was trying to get myself along with that japanese girl, her friends tried at any price to make her stay away from me.

Let's see... I'm not black (which frees me from racism), I'm not white (disgracefully)... I'm a latino (which I kind of like and hate at the same time) and peruvian (one of the most hated countries among LatinAmerica).

The only weapon against me at dating is... myself. I never know what I exactly want and like. And I can't read minds either.

Oh, and I agree with Cy's point about finding all kinds of women in every race.
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4400TVJunkie
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All hail King Booker!
MakeYourself85
Jan 20 2007, 03:39 AM
I want a cigarette!

4400TVJunkie
Jan 20 2007, 02:46 AM
When I was younger (around middle-high school age), I had a big preference for white guys and was absolutely belittled and ridiculed from my family and black friends. "Oh Darlene, you're turning your back on your race." "Darlene, white people are so racist, look at what they did to our people hundreds of years ago." "Darlene, white guys hate black girls, they only secretly wanna be with them because they think black girls are hoes".

Hmm... that reminded me one thing I hated about black people and that was to stick only to their own race. Hope I'm not offending you with that. Not only some black people stick to their race, this is also more noticed between Asian people as well.

I do like interracial dating, it gives you some extra feeling due to the variety and you can learn a lot from it. I also happened to be a high-school student at a peruvian-chinese school, so I grew up myself to like Asian chicks more than white chicks or latina girls. Now I was falling for a Japanese girl some time ago, but she just "sticked to her own race". Also, while I was trying to get myself along with that japanese girl, her friends tried at any price to make her stay away from me.

Let's see... I'm not black (which frees me from racism), I'm not white (disgracefully)... I'm a latino (which I kind of like and hate at the same time) and peruvian (one of the most hated countries among LatinAmerica).

The only weapon against me at dating is... myself. I never know what I exactly want and like. And I can't read minds either.

Oh, and I agree with Cy's point about finding all kinds of women in every race.

Yeah I understand. It was hard for me because a lot of the black crowd rejected me, especially the girls, as being "too white". They thought I was too haughty and stuck-up for them. I also didn't fit in so well with whites because there were some things they couldn't understand about me, and vice versa.

Now, depending on whom I'm hanging with determines how I'm acting. I've learned how to adapt to my environment.
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SRP76
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The Man. Any Questions?
Apparently, the girls "MadWhiteGirl" or whatever her name is was talking about are simply jealous that she's screwing whatever guy it happens to be. "Oh, you're dipping into my race!" is just bullshit. It isn't because he's "a member of the race", it's likely because he looks good, and they want some of him. I'll bet that if he happened to be a buck-toothed, hunchbacked black man with one arm, they wouldn't be talking shit to her. In fact, I'll bet money on it. They're saying that stuff to try to act like they aren't just having a petty jealousy issue.
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Nubochanozep
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Don't see many black people in Sydney, if it all really. True story.
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Madness420
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I'm Native American and I've dated white, black, asian, latino and other natives. The funny thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that most people these days, or at least many I've dated, are mixed. And I don't mean part Irish, part French, part something else. I mean half white, half black and so on. Women come in all shapes and sizes no matter what race. This does not determine their attitudes toward other people or the respect they have for themselves. That comes from something deeper than race.

You can't have this conversation by starting it with two letters from idiots who generalize both races into their own stereotypes because neither one is accurate. Anyone who took the bait agreed with the stereotype is an idiot.
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Ashy Shaq
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The Silver Standard
I'm a black male, and I admit I prefer white girls. They're are only a few in my school, but the black girls always come with bullshit, at least the one's I've seen. I'll get dragged into some crazy shit with these ladies. And the one's that don't want a nice guy want some asshole that does nothing but cheats on them. It's to the point where I really want nothing to do with black women, at least for a while. Not until they grow the fuck up.
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_DL_
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BURN IT DOOOWWNNNNNNNN!
Me personally, I have no preference with the race of women. If she has the qualities that make me fall in love with her, it really doesn't matter the color of her skin.
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Kame

Dark-Loner
Jan 20 2007, 02:43 PM
Me personally, I have no preference with the race of women. If she has the qualities that make me fall in love with her, it really doesn't matter the color of her skin.

Amen, Donn.

There you go every one. This one's closed.
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TheObserver

Not just yet Kame, I have to add something to this...

I'm hispanic/guamanian/german and slovakian, I generally have no preference on who should I be with, if they are someone I feel drawn to because we have some sort of connection, then that's how it is.

Regardless of what color they are, now as 4400 pointed out, there are alot of inerracial couples around here, which is'nt so bad but the thing that really gets me enraged is the white girls that think they are something they are'nt becaues they are dating a black male.

It's pretty pathetic on how they talk, if I happen to be around someone that talks retarded like, I tell to STFU and stop trying to be something they are'nt.

There are alot of stupid whores who don't give a shit about anyone except themselves and when they get pregnant by some loser ass fuckhead then don't pay child support cause they are bums, they wonder why they are in that predictament in the first place.

When white women complain that now they have to raise a child from another race is sad cause they should've known better, but then again some just are not very bright in thinking what's right.

Women I think want to be with someone they feel comfortable with and feel sorta protected, against whatever.

Not so much a father figure but along the lines if that makes sense.

The problem is that white women go out with trailor white trash assholes, give up on them and start dating others cause they feel that all guys of a their race are assholes, which is a misconception on their part, but yet when they are with someone from another race and still get treated like shit.

It comes to the right choice in dating, no matter what color that person may be,that's why it's called dating, to see how that person is, if they are right for you or not.

You just got to look in the right places and keep away from the deceiving bitches and assholes, all that matters at the end of the night when it's said and done or even when you are alone is just who's in bed with you.

While also keeping an open mind cause you never know who's lurking out there for us, I have a theory that there is someone for everyone, fate can only get you so far but once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen.

Shit I've been single for a good time now but I know she's out there, it's all in do time and I'll be happy one day.

I guess that's about it from my side for now......
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Leviathan
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I don't debate. I'm always right.
Personaly...I'm more attracted to white girls (in general) than any other race. That's not to say I don't think woman of other races can be attractive. It's just a personal preference of mine. On the other hand..I have been attracted to many light skinned black woman. But never attracted to a dark skinned black woman. (not that I can remember)
I don't see anything wrong with having a personal preferance....as long as it's not hate related.
Anyway. The original article was stereotypical, and stupid. But they seem to have their personal preferences as well. I can't knock that aspect of the article. If I did...I would be a hypocrite.
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Purple Marauder
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Stand Back! There's a Hurricane Coming Through
BrownMania
Jan 20 2007, 02:11 AM
I find women of all sexes very beautiful.....

:lol: I think you mean races.... :grin:

I love women of any race. A womans beauty has nothing to do with her race. And, I don't subscribe to the belief that "Black women are loud" or "White women are easy" etc. Things of that nature have more to do with the family environment a person was raised in. A slut is made, not born. :grin:

Both of these letters do nothing but piss me off. But are full of back handed ways to cut the other race down while claiming "I'm not trying to be racist but..."

If you want to date only women of your own race, fine. Hell that's great. You limit yourself. That just means there are more women for me. :tu:
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BrownMania
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Purplemarauder
Jan 21 2007, 02:19 AM
BrownMania
Jan 20 2007, 02:11 AM
I find women of all sexes very beautiful.....

:lol: I think you mean races.... :grin:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! :lol: :lol:
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TapOutAngleLock
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Ring Of Jankowski's Honor
How bout a hot girl who likes pro wrestling
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Leviathan
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I don't debate. I'm always right.
What does that have to do with race?
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TapOutAngleLock
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Ring Of Jankowski's Honor
its the only dating thread, and everyone here would like a hot girl that likes pro wrestling.
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Leviathan
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I don't debate. I'm always right.
Hmmm. I'd take an ugly girl that understood pro wrestling.
Well...Not really. But during Raw or Smackdown....It would be ok. :lol:
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