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Ok, that aint Funny; Read This
Topic Started: Feb 14 2007, 04:53 PM (179 Views)
L69
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This is from the article suggestion part of Wikipedia, and some Jackass has used me. Read this, it was submitted on January 7th 2007:

Quote:
 
Mahatma Ghandiji was born in the midst of a Febuary rain in south dakota. Shortly after his birth he became fascinated with the celebreality, Hogan Knows Best. Ghandiji's father, a wealthy christmas tree shops employee, decided that Ghandiji should learn basic Viking studies at a young age to prepare for the Norweigen attack, which would later destroy all of civilization. Shortly after his apearance on the hit T.V Drama, Deal or No Deal in the late 13th century, Mahatma Ghandiji was turned to stone bye a British Archer, Luke Fittes. Luke Fittes was a poor man, who spent much of his time in Berlin, studying the effects of extreme cold weather, while having had 3 eggnogs, and a large sandwich. Ghandiji reanimated and came back to life when his father in law, Hulk Hogan, kissed the stone in which Ghandiji had been turned into, breaking the spell, and making it suddenly come back to life. Ghandiji later became well known as the lead singer of Drowning Pool, a popular christian revival group from brazil. Ghandiji was killed, this time for good, by Luke Fittes's great grandmother, Eugine Fittes, who was later killed by L'infection de Vagine.


I am gonna take 3 guesses.

1. Neb
2. Sarkar (Banned)
3. NCR

Someone own up now.
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WWEFootos48
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God
What the Fuck? :lol:

What page was it found under?
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L69
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I found another.

Quote:
 
TestMaster is a type of pencil expertly hand-crafted in Alabama. The pencils are not well known and are very rare. Each TestMaster No.2 pencil has a trademarked pure silver eraser ferrule and an eraser crafted out of the world’s finest hand-harvested rubber. Fittes sold his pencils through mail order. These pencils are well known to major pencil collectors.

[edit] Early History
The first TestMaster pencils have been dated back to 1962. The pencils were crafted by a British archer named Luke Fittes from 1962 until 1974. Fittes was a poor man, born somewhere between 1939 and 1941 in England, who spent much of his time in Berlin, studying the effects of extreme cold weather. Fittes was known for drinking “three eggnogs and a large sandwich” while working, which he claimed helped “bring his brainpower to the max”. In 1961, after graduating from an un-named vocational college, Fittes moved to Aliceville, Alabama to continue his observation of weather. During this time, supposedly Fittes broke his last writing untensil and constructed the world’s first TestMaster out of a stick found in the woods in the back of his cabin and leftover charcoal. Soon after, Fittes’ distant relative Eugine Fittes came to his cabin to beg for money. During this, Eugine used Fittes’ TestMaster. Eugine found that the TestMaster was the most comfortable pencil she had ever used, and brought Luke to an un-named indipendent novelist. This novelist loved Fittes’ pencil so much that he/she payed Fittes a sum of $600 for him to construct 100 of the pencils for him/her.

[edit] The First 100
16. Fittes crafted the first one hundred TestMaster pencils according to the specification of his original hand crafted pencil. These pencils were called the “TestMaster 100”, named after the amount of pencils Fittes made in that run-off. These are known as the most collectable of all TestMaster pencils. Due to popularity and rarity, this model was re-issued in 1970 under the model number “100R”. The novelist told all his/her friends about the marvelous pencils, thus making a higher demand for Fittes’ TestMaster pencils.

[edit] Name Origins
The TestMaster name, according to a close friend of Fittes, was created in terms of 'put to the test'. The TestMaster pencils are known for their durability, and various users will agree that they are the most comfortable pencil to take standardized test for.

[edit] End of the TestMaster Era
Fittes' demand for TestMasters kept growing and growing. In 1974, he planned on expanding his work area from his small Aliceville cabin to a factory. Sometime in the spring of 1974, Fittes had a shaving accident. He had run out of blades for his razor so he used a steak knife. After attempting to shave, he had so many facial injuries and deformities that he went out into the woods and shot himself with an arrow, using his previous self-taught arching skills. This brought the end of the TestMaster pencils forever. There has been attempts to reproduce various models of the TestMaster, but all ended up second-rate and were no where near as successful as Fittes' original pencils.

[edit] Models
Between 1963 and 1974, Fittes created short runs of TestMasters for the public. Here is a list of all the models, the manufacture year(s), and the original prices paid (according to the TestMaster Gallery webpage):

TestMaster 100 (1962, custom run off; $600USD for quantity of 100) TestMaster 400 (1963-1964, 300 made; $50 each) TestMaster 1000 (1964-1967, over 1000 made; $100 each) TestMaster 1000B (1965, The Beatles logo carved into side, less than 25 made; giveaways at a Aliceville record store with the purchase of a Bealtes 65 LP) TestMaster 2000 (1967-1969, about 800 made; $50 each) TestMaster 2000RW (1968, about 50 made, made of redwood; $150 each) TestMaster 3000 (1969, 300-400 made; $150 each) TestMaster 4000 (1969-1972, 2000 made; $75 each) TestMaster 100R (1970, 300 made, re-issue of model 100; $100 each) TestMaster 8600B (1972-74, 1000 made; $90 each)

[edit] Known Prototype Models
TestMaster 2 (Made in 1962 after the original model 100 runoff, proved to be innificient; replaced by Model 400) TestMaster 5000 (Made in 1971 as a test. Less than 3 made. Rarest of all TestMaster pencils) TestMaster 9000X (Made in 1974. 500 made. Were going to be sold as the new model but are considered a prototype because they were unreleased because of Fittes' shaving incident)

[edit] External links
The TestMaster Gallery


Yo Whosey, type in my user name in Google.
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_DL_
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BURN IT DOOOWWNNNNNNNN!
:lmao:

Greatness.
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WWEFootos48
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God
Don't you think that it's possible that Luke Fittes could be the name of somebody else in our time?
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L69
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WWEWhoseLine48
Feb 14 2007, 05:58 PM
Don't you think that it's possible that Luke Fittes could be the name of somebody else in our time?

Yeah, who is a British Archer who went to Berlin and got drunk on 3 Eggnogs and was found eating a giant Ham, Cheese and Lettuce sandwhich?

Type my username in and click on the wiki links to view.
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Purple Marauder
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Stand Back! There's a Hurricane Coming Through
Luke Fittes
Feb 14 2007, 10:53 AM
Mahatma Ghandiji was turned to stone bye a British Archer, Luke Fittes.

Who ever it was doesn't know grammer:

by
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L69
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That rules Neb out then. :P
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Darren
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The Best a Man can Get
Well that was a small mistake though
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Nubochanozep
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Wasn't me. Probably not a wise idea just to throw names out in the open, especially when one of them is me...:nono:
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L69
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Nebuchanezzar
Feb 15 2007, 02:08 AM
Wasn't me. Probably not a wise idea just to throw names out in the open, especially when one of them is me...:nono:

I always knew you were jealous of me anyway, so I think that I should assume you, but after that mistake, you are out.
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ATC
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Resident Stoner
Quote:
 
Ghandiji was killed, this time for good, by Luke Fittes's great grandmother, Eugine Fittes, who was later killed by L'infection de Vagine.


That one cracked me up. :lol:
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L69
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ATC
Feb 17 2007, 08:52 PM
Quote:
 
Ghandiji was killed, this time for good, by Luke Fittes's great grandmother, Eugine Fittes, who was later killed by L'infection de Vagine.


That one cracked me up. :lol:

It didn't crack me up seeing as how both my Grandma's died before I was born.
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Legacy
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snooooooooop
Luke Fittes
Feb 18 2007, 12:21 PM
ATC
Feb 17 2007, 08:52 PM
Quote:
 
Ghandiji was killed, this time for good, by Luke Fittes's great grandmother, Eugine Fittes, who was later killed by L'infection de Vagine.


That one cracked me up. :lol:

It didn't crack me up seeing as how both my Grandma's died before I was born.

I see where your coming from bro. I have no living grandparents anymore. But who ever did this must be a real asshole.

My guess is Sarkar.
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NCR
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What?
Well, it wasn't me. But, I wish it was. That's priceless. :lol:
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L69
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NCR
Feb 19 2007, 09:08 PM
Well, it wasn't me. But, I wish it was. That's priceless. :lol:

Well, that leaves Sarkar the suspect.
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NCR
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What?
Luke Fittes
Feb 19 2007, 08:09 PM
NCR
Feb 19 2007, 09:08 PM
Well, it wasn't me. But, I wish it was. That's priceless. :lol:

Well, that leaves Sarkar the suspect.

Or mabye... It was YOU FITTES! Just trying to get a little attention at 6SW. Thats so sad, you could have just asked. :(
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L69
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NCR
Feb 19 2007, 09:10 PM
Luke Fittes
Feb 19 2007, 08:09 PM
NCR
Feb 19 2007, 09:08 PM
Well, it wasn't me. But, I wish it was. That's priceless. :lol:

Well, that leaves Sarkar the suspect.

Or mabye... It was YOU FITTES! Just trying to get a little attention at 6SW. Thats so sad, you could have just asked. :(

Why the hell would I do that, making snide jokes about my dead grandmas. Really nice dude.
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