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Fictional Hogan/Angle Conversation
Topic Started: Mar 19 2008, 10:39 AM (283 Views)
Cybrus
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STAY HYPED!!!
I saw this over at the Torch. It's funny, mostly for the fact that a lot of their interviews sound almost exactly like this conversation. Enjoy.

Quote:
 

Professional Wrestling Superstars Hulk Hogan and Kurt Angle engaged in a lengthy phone conversation recently, the transcript of which has been leaked to WWS courtesy of the NSA. (Thanks Patriot Act!)

Amazingly, the entire conversation between the two men takes place without either one of them telling the truth, ever. While "working" others in such a way has become so engrained in the two men it most likely seemed like a typical conversation for both, an honest reader will find it a remarkable example of two people totally lost in their own bulls**t.

HOGAN

Hello? Who's this?

ANGLE

Hey brotha, it's Kurt. Didn't I come up on your caller ID?

HOGAN

Nah, I don't have caller ID.

ANGLE

Me neither. How you feeling, brother?

HOGAN

Healthy.

ANGLE

Oh, me too. Healthy.

HOGAN

Never felt better.

ANGLE

I feel young, you know?


HOGAN

Young, flexible and mobile.

ANGLE

Young, flexible, mobile, and sober.

HOGAN

Young, flexible, mobile, sober, and not the least bit insecure.

ANGLE

How's Linda?

HOGAN

Begging for me to come back. I was just sitting here by the pool thinking about how faithful I've been to her these past thirty years. How's Karen?

ANGLE

As sweet and gentle as ever. Nick and Brooke?

HOGAN

Well adjusted. Great heads on their shoulders.

ANGLE

Hey brother, I heard you and Eric are starting a new International Wrestling Promotion.

HOGAN

Already running house shows.

ANGLE

You know my contract with TNA goes until 2097, but they do let me work anywhere else I want, whenever I want. I love to work with you, and Eric's a great guy.

HOGAN

Great guy.

ANGLE

Hell of a great guy.

HOGAN

Normal guy. Not weird at all.

ANGLE

No. And generous. I read his book twice.

HOGAN

I read it three times, brotha.

ANGLE

I loved it so much I cut it into small pieces, boiled it, and ate it while I prayed that his words would digest into my body and I could remember them eternally.

HOGAN

The new promotion is gonna be global, brotha. Huge. You want in, we'll give you a sweet deal. Couple of TV tapings a year and a couple of PPV's.

ANGLE

You've got TV?

HOGAN

All three networks in prime time. Plus youtube and google.

ANGLE

You'll be on those?

HOGAN

We bought em. And PPV's live every night. I can’t talk long about it right now, brotha, cause I'm training for Wrestlemania.

ANGLE

Yeah, I knew you'd do a surprise run in at Wrestlemaina.

HOGAN

You can’t have a Wrestlemania with out the Hulkster, brotha. I'm gonna to a run in, punk out Mayweather and slam the Big Show. It's gonna be bigger than Wrestlemaina 3.

ANGLE

Watching you slam Andre was the greatest moment of my life.

HOGAN

Andre's too.

ANGLE

I know, he told me last night in a dream.

HOGAN

I'll never forget the roar of the crowd. 190,000 people in the Sliverdome.

ANGLE

How could I forget, I was in the front row.

HOGAN

I remember, I saw you. I didn't know who you were but I glanced out in the front row and caught a glimpse of you just as I had all 900 pounds of the Giant up the air. I said to my self "that kid's gonna be an Olympic Gold Medallist in 1996 in Atlanta."

ANGLE

I watched that entire Wrestlemaina with a broken friggen neck.

HOGAN

I know.

ANGLE

It's true. It's damn true.

HOGAN

I never forget when I slammed Andre down and the whole ring collapsed around us. He was laying there dying, you know. And as he breathed his last breath he looked up at me and said, "Hulkster, the torch is passed."

ANGLE

I heard him.

HOGAN

The giant passed the torch to me. And if you wanna come in for us, I want to do the same for you. Lay down and finally pass the torch to the greatest wrestler in this business, Kurt Angle.

ANGLE

I know you'd do that for me, brother. I can start tonight.

HOGAN

I'll fax you the contract from my MacAir. Oh – gonna go Vince is on the other line.

ANGLE

Funny, Vince is on my other line too.

HOGAN

Great talking to you.

ANGLE

Always.


There were several funny parts to this, but the funniest part to me was:

Angle: Watching you slam Andre was the greatest moment of my life.
Hogan: Andre's too.

:lmao:
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_DL_
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BURN IT DOOOWWNNNNNNNN!
Quote:
 
HOGAN

I remember, I saw you. I didn't know who you were but I glanced out in the front row and caught a glimpse of you just as I had all 900 pounds of the Giant up the air. I said to my self "that kid's gonna be an Olympic Gold Medallist in 1996 in Atlanta."

LOL!
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Jknight253
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ANGLE

I watched that entire Wrestlemaina with a broken friggen neck.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Kame

Kind of funny, I guess. I didn't laugh out loud at anything, but the poking fun at Bischoff made me grin a little. Good find, Cy. :tu:
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MY85
It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
That's fucking hilarious. :lol:
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whatwhat

That was fucking Gold.
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