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| 5 Word Christmas Story | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 6 2010, 01:49 PM (2,598 Views) | |
| Cybrus | Dec 22 2010, 02:36 PM Post #241 |
STAY HYPED!!!
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I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", |
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| MY85 | Dec 23 2010, 02:10 AM Post #242 |
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It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
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I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!" |
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| Terrible Fry | Dec 23 2010, 02:35 AM Post #243 |
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I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However |
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| MY85 | Dec 23 2010, 02:49 AM Post #244 |
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It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
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I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 07:18 AM Post #245 |
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I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived |
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| Cybrus | Dec 23 2010, 10:24 AM Post #246 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 10:49 AM Post #247 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on Edited by Kraul, Dec 23 2010, 10:49 AM.
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| Cybrus | Dec 23 2010, 10:58 AM Post #248 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 11:16 AM Post #249 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. |
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| Cybrus | Dec 23 2010, 11:37 AM Post #250 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 11:49 AM Post #251 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac |
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| Cybrus | Dec 23 2010, 11:51 AM Post #252 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 11:54 AM Post #253 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding |
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| Cybrus | Dec 23 2010, 11:58 AM Post #254 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 12:07 PM Post #255 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said |
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| Cybrus | Dec 23 2010, 12:13 PM Post #256 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! |
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| Terrible Fry | Dec 23 2010, 01:09 PM Post #257 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me |
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| Kraul | Dec 23 2010, 01:22 PM Post #258 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't |
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| MY85 | Dec 23 2010, 10:11 PM Post #259 |
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It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means |
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| _DL_ | Dec 23 2010, 10:47 PM Post #260 |
BURN IT DOOOWWNNNNNNNN!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls. |
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| MY85 | Dec 23 2010, 11:24 PM Post #261 |
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It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I |
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| Kraul | Dec 24 2010, 01:13 AM Post #262 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed |
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| Cybrus | Dec 24 2010, 10:44 AM Post #263 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in |
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| SpaceOdyssey | Dec 24 2010, 06:36 PM Post #264 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was |
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| Terrible Fry | Dec 25 2010, 12:46 AM Post #265 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was very creepy, yet so fascinating. |
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| danmnz | Dec 25 2010, 01:39 AM Post #266 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was very creepy, yet so fascinating. So I took my disturbing |
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| MY85 | Dec 25 2010, 02:13 AM Post #267 |
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It's a fabulous new day, yes it is!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was very creepy, yet so fascinating. So I took my disturbing obsession for sparkles aside and |
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| Terrible Fry | Dec 25 2010, 02:14 AM Post #268 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was very creepy, yet so fascinating. So I took my disturbing obsession for sparkles aside and kneed Santa in the gonads. |
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| Cybrus | Dec 25 2010, 08:36 AM Post #269 |
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STAY HYPED!!!
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was very creepy, yet so fascinating. So I took my disturbing obsession for sparkles aside and kneed Santa in the gonads. "Yeah! Yeah! Just how I |
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| Kraul | Dec 25 2010, 08:37 AM Post #270 |
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T'was the night before Christmas, and I was wicked drunk. I could have sworn I had made it home, but the lady I woke next to beat and raped my junk for hours and hours. She smelled of stale banana's foster and cheap perfume. I loved the way she lied. I soon left in search of her pimp. He was a pimp named Slickback. I laughed at his ridiculous name. However, he was loaded with...very unlaughable and very dangerous hypodermic needles filled with pure candy cane syrup. I immediately knew exactly what to say: Please, sir, may I have it all at once tonight? The man was shocked and thought I was a nutter, but didn't realise I was luring him into my trap. However, Admiral Ackbar then appeared but before he could speak I sliced him into fishsticks. Slickback gasped then started crying. Then, Santa appeared out of the fireplace without any warning. He looked at me with his sunken dark eyes and shook his head displeasingly. I simply looked away, but he gazed at me with such unrelenting ferocity that I had no choice but to obey my instincts. So I ran. And ran. And ran. And then I ran some more. I stopped. I looked around. Then I ran some more. Damn, was I ever exhausted! But I looked behind me and that fat bastard was only five feet away! I screamed "Leave me alone Santa!" But he just kept coming! "What's that in your pocket?", he asked. "A gun, motherfucker!", I responded with enthusiasm. However, Santa whipped out his shotgun and fired wildly. I dived behind one of his reindeer, hitting my head hard on part of his body I didn't expect - his glowing nose. "Rudolph! You gotta help me!" Seconds later, a pink Cadillac -- pink Cadillac? What the fuck! -- arrived. Slickback stepped out wielding Comet by the collar. He puffed his cigar and said "Now, you look here fat man! This foo here made me see the light! Christmas isn't about this shit! It means kissing babies, hugging fat girls." That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but Santa seemed to gain a sparkle in his crotch upon which was very creepy, yet so fascinating. So I took my disturbing obsession for sparkles aside and kneed Santa in the gonads. "Yeah! Yeah! Just how I learned from mom!" I yelled. |
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4:53 PM Jul 13