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Sheila's Shell Station Fill Up
Topic Started: Feb 3 2012, 01:15 AM (80 Views)
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ATTENTION: Do NOT "flag this for removal." It is a serious inquiry for my good pal Peanut to get published as a writer. Just 'cause it ain't your style, does NOT mean that you have the right to judge it, ya piece of trash. Writers come in all shapes and sizes and colors. This is 2012, in America, where anyone can have a shot at the dream. It's for everyone, you guys. You & me. Peanut is BLACK and HOMELESS and if you DARE try to take this down it is discrimination and I'll be really steamed. And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold Karl Welzein said so. Go ahead and try me, you no nothin' racist corncob. Peanut is just a brother tryin' to sit at the table, eatin' his piece of the pie. You got no right to hog it yourself. So selfish.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

Karl "K-Money" (street name) Welzein here. Me and my main man Homeless Peanut were gettin' pretty deep into a discussion about life and love a few nights ago, and he started tellin' me some off the chain stories about babes from way back. Since Peanut isn't much for writin', I told him I'd help him out with puttin' it together from pen to paper. I kept it as accurate as possible since Peanut said, "It might sound like I'm trippin' but this story is for real 100% true." Although, I had to put in a bit of my own K-Money swag here and there, just to add some class. I would also like to note that I told Peanut you might be turned off by using so much profanity in an erotic tale of carnal desires as bad language tends to cool it down in the passions department, but Peanut insisted on "keepin' it real," So I tried the best I could to compromise. Hope you can dig it, you guys.

SHEILA'S SHELL STATION FILL UP
by Peanut
(With K-Money)

I was kickin' it at this one Shell station tryin' to get me some a them grape Now & Laters. They good as hell and this one joint cameras don't work so I just roll up like I'm mindin' my own business and shit, tryin' to get me somethin' but I can't decide, then when nobody lookin', I jack them sweets like it ain't no thang. That's when this one Sheila girl from jr. high come by askin' where can she get a hook up, all fiendin' and shit. I was like, yo', my man Shoestring got that shit all day with bold flavors. Only problem we got here is that I can't seem to remember where that mothafucka stay at. I might have them shits written down in the toilet, ya feel me?

We bust the door in right quick and it was straight up funky in that nasty bitch. Ain't no thang though 'cause we wasn't in there to do no smellin', I just wanted me some carnal passions. I told homegirl don't be wastin' my goddamn time. I was about to get mad as hell, then trick ass Sheila big breasts hit me in the face like Jello Puddin', you guys. I was ready to get busy.

Nasty Sheila wasn't wearin' no draws, so her coochie drippin' like off the chain bold flavor BBQ. Special Recipe. I got her thick 'n rich cocoa booty all up in the Shell Station sink on my jimmy and I couldn't believe how we connected as one. Really on point.

I started goin' buckwild. Really off the chain. Chest beefers were flyin' from coast to coast. Huggin'. Kissin'. The works, really. The carnal passions were outta bounds. I could tell Sheila was goin' buckwild for a taste of my Don Cornelius & the Soul Train dancers, and before I got my chance to go down the Line, the motherfuckin' gas station manager bust in and was all like "What the hell you think you doin?! Get the fuck outta here! I'm callin' the police!"

Sheila ran the road with her titties hangin' all out and shit. She nasty. I walked outta there like it wasn't no thang. Player hater motherfucka can kiss my black ass! Ain't like I know no Shoestring anyway.

I guess our erotic relationship wasn't meant to be as I never saw Sheila again. Maybe she passed away from drugs, or maybe we'll meet up again in the future. Who knows? Either way, I'll always remember Sheila. We had adult carnal passions, and there's nothin' wrong with that when it's consensual, you guys.

-Peanut


http://flint.craigslist.org/wet/2829895590.html
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Kraul

It was like reading a different language.

It might as well have been written in ancient Greek or something.

Also, I thought this was one of those old roleplaying threads people used to do back in the day when I saw the title.
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It's just bold tales of carnal relations, you guys.
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Kraul

I suddenly feel like wearing gawdy jewelry, three times too large clothing, and only playing Madden forever after trying to read that.
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Terrible Fry
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Quote:
 
I could tell Sheila was goin' buckwild for a taste of my Don Cornelius & the Soul Train dancers

Assuming that's suppose to be slang for his dick and balls, did he shoot himself in the dick when he was done?
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Peanut wrote that before he died which has led many to believe that it's the curse of Peanut.
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Purple Marauder
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Stand Back! There's a Hurricane Coming Through
I love how the entire thing is written in some kind of ghetto slang yet he uses the phrase "carnal passions". :lol:
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SRP76
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The Man. Any Questions?
What does this have to do with anything? :lol:

You know all these are pure bullshit. Anyone that's ever been laid knows that when you're done, you sure as hell don't think, "oh, I'll go WRITE about it!"; you think, "let me get something to eat, then go to sleep".
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Purple Marauder
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Stand Back! There's a Hurricane Coming Through
Dear Penthouse Forum,

I never thought these letters were real...until it happened to me....
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Purple Marauder
Feb 4 2012, 05:33 AM
I love how the entire thing is written in some kind of ghetto slang yet he uses the phrase "carnal passions". :lol:
Karl Welzein @dadboner
 
When you're writin' somethin' on behalf of a black, you gotta keep it real. But not so real that whites can't enjoy it. Like on Martin.
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