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| OWF Draft Show #1; OH MY GOD!!! | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 4 2014, 06:18 PM (89 Views) | |
| Terrible Fry | Mar 4 2014, 06:18 PM Post #1 |
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 Oatseeder's Wrestling Fed The Ding Dongs vs Jesse & Festus Festus starts in the ring and charges toward the Ding Dong in the ring (I don't know which one, those Ding Dongs look alike), Festus then suddenly stops and collapses face first onto the canvas from momentum upon hearing the Dongs ringing their own bell. Jesse looks on with concern and the Dong in the ring seems confused as Festus looks like he's having some kind of seizure. When he catches on as to what is happening, Dong I instructs his partner to stop ringing. Festus starts to pick himself back up and Dong I tells Dong II to ring once more. Half way up, Festus falls back onto his face. Ding I then rolls over Festus for the pin as Dong II runs over to stop Jesse from breaking up the three count. Winner: The Ding Dongs at 0:31 Backstage, Paul Heyman approaches Chris Benoit and tells him that God will offer Benoit passage way into heaven if he were to help assure God's victory over Cena tonight. Heyman leaves Benoit to mull it over. Benoit then turns and is now face to face with the Undertaker. After a brief stare down, Taker warns Benoit to choose his next path wisely. Adam "Pacman" Jones vs Gillberg Pacman chose JBL to represent him in this match and extends his "streak" to 162-0 (147 of them vs Gillberg) when JBL got the pin after slapping Gillberg around like his hair was blue. Winner: Adam "Pacman" Jones at 3:42 Undertaker vs Kevin Sullivan Undertaker was able to pick up the win here, but Kevin Sullivan was successful in taking off with the urn. Winner: Undertaker at 11:16 At the arena kiosk, an angry customer is yelling at a young employee because they sold out of "God is a Heyman Guy" t-shirts. He demands to see the manager. Virgil approaches the man and asks what the problem is. The man just continues spitting out obscenities until Virgil has had enough and locks on the Million Dollar Dream and knocks the guy out. As security drags the body away, Virgil is then approached by the Angry Miz Girl. She asks if he has seen The Miz around anywhere. Virgil replies that he hasn't. Disappointed, Miz Girl asks Virgil if he ever sees him, to kick him in the genitals for her. Fatal 4 Way to Crown New World Champion: Braden Walker vs Sandman vs Christian vs Buff Bagwell Judy Bagwell breaks up Sandman's pin attempt. Sandman then chases after her with a cane backstage, occasionally getting a couple of smacks on her behind. Buff Bagwell follows behind to stop him. This leaves Christian and Braden Walker left in the ring. Walker seems to have Christian finished before Lance Storm ran in and superkicks Walker allowing Christian to cover him for the pin. Winner and New World Champion: Christian at 14:02 Fresh off his victory, Christian is backstage with Lance Storm, God and Paul Heyman celebrating and gloating about his title victory. They all then discuss the tactics for God's title match later on and Benoit's possible involvement. Heyman says not to worry, that he has it all covered. They are then approached by RoboCop who must have overheard and warns that if they engage in any illegal activity in tonight's match, there will be trouble. Street Fight: New Jack vs Steve Blackman Blackman and New Jack brawl all around the arena and backstage in a brutal match. By the merchandise stand, New Jack grabs a t-shirt and tries choking Blackman with it to the chagrin of Virgil, who then smacks Jack over the head with a chair. This allows Blackman to get an advantage over Jack and eventually the pin. You don't fuck with Virgil's merch. Winner: Steve Blackman at 9:52 New Jack would have none of that though as he attacks Blackman mid-celebration with an assortment of dangerous weapons including a razor to cut him deep and make him bleed profusely out in the ring. New Jack continues the assault, threatening any medics who came out to try to attend to Blackman. Having enough of it, RoboCop enters to stop New Jack and let the medics carry Blackman away. Pissed off, New Jack challenges the tin canned pussy to a match right there and now and dares RoboCop into the ring. RoboCop reluctantly refuses. However, Paul Heyman enters and sanctions the match to be official. New Jack vs RoboCop As soon as Heyman orders the bell to ring, RoboCop seizes and starts shutting down as he desperately grabs at a taunting New Jack because of a directive programmed into RoboCop that prevents him from wrestling in official matches. New Jack continues from where he left off with Blackman as RoboCop tries to get away from the barrage of hammer, axe blows and even a few shotgun blasts all the way out to the parking lot outside. RoboCop tries picking himself back up as New Jack walks away for a moment. RoboCop is up and dazed as he notices New Jack entering the cabin of a semi-truck. Jack revs up and charges towards RoboCop, plowing into him. Winner: No Contest JBL and Michael Cole are out in the ring now and are upset that JBL was not involved in either title match and that he deserves better. Out comes Muhammad Ali who has had enough of their bitchass whining. They exchange insults for a bit until a humiliated JBL attempts a clothesline that Ali ducks and quickly right hooks JBL. Leaving him laid out in the ring as Cole tries to revive him. Crowning the New Universal Champion: John Cena vs God John Cena is left standing in the ring with a spotlight and the voice of God mocking him. Much like my Saturday nights alone with a box of tissues, Cena struggles to find anything tangible to grab. Out comes Christian, Storm and K-Fed to team on Cena as he tries to fight them off. Braden Walker and then Undertaker enter to even up the numbers. Undertaker lays out the heels with a sequence of chokeslams. Kevin Sullivan then interferes and before Taker can grab him, Sullivan kneels and presents the urn to Undertaker who looks on with bewilderment. Taker is attacked from behind by none other than Chris Benoit who then starts brawling with Taker to take him away from the match. Sullivan and Storm takes on Walker to separate him from the match as Christian and K-Fed teams on Cena. Cena reverses Christian's Unprettier and lifts him up for the FU. He swings Christian on his shoulders to knock down K-Fed, but before Cena can complete the FU, a blinding light shines into his eyes allowing Christian to roll off Cena's shoulders and succeed with his next Unprettier attempt. Christian rolls him over as the spotlight shines down on Cena and Paul Heyman runs out to instruct the referee to count the three. Winner and New Universal Champion: God at 10:53 |
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| Kame | Mar 4 2014, 08:38 PM Post #2 |
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Holy fuck. That show was ten times better than anything I thought you would be able to come up with. 
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4:44 PM Jul 13