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It's official. I'm moving out with my girlfriend.
Topic Started: Jun 1 2006, 10:48 PM (508 Views)
osmbv tiger
Delibird
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Here's the plan-

June 27- She finishes packing.

June 28- I pick her up before sunrise, we go find somewhere to relax. We'll both need to calm our nerves, since she's basically running away from home. She'll drop me off at work at 8, then take my car to the DMV to get another copy of her driver's license (her mom won't give up the original). She spends the day doing whatever she wants after that (probably just working perfecting her resume). After work, we go to the beach, have a little bonfire/barbecue, swim in the ocean, and watch the sunset. I've always wanted to try making love at midnight, in the dunes on the cape...

June 29- Angela drops me off at work in the morning again. She then interviews with the staffing agency I've set her up to meet with. Ideally, she can get a job at the same place I work at. As long as it's close by, it'll be fine. From there, she interviews at this local restaurant for a night job (she insists on working two jobs during summer while I have classes... I'm against it, but it's her life). She picks me up at work at 5, go pack to my house and pack up my stuff, and have another little mini-getaway to a park or beach or something. Did you know that there are Chinese girls with 36Cs?

June 30- Again, she drops me off at work in the morning. I'll send her out with a $200 budget to get whatever clothes she really needs for work, as well as a bikini or two. She'll probably end up spending most of the day sitting in my car reading in some parking lot somewhere. After work, we go over to Anaheim for Anime Expo! Arcade all night, free hotel room if/when we decide to sleep, and anime playing all night.

July 1- Cosplayers, huge shopping, AX Idol, karaoke... and FREE ADMISSION! Hell yeah! Later on, we finish our furniture shopping, pick up other necessities (food, lamps, rice cooker, etc). I take her out for a birthday dinner (almost a month late, but whatever). There's a big dance at AX until 2am, so we'll be there burning up the floor til we crash.

July 2- Hopefully the bed and futon will have arrived by today. Today, we empty out all the crap that will have built up in my car over the past week into our new apartment, go back to my house, load up the rest of my clothes, my TV, and anything else I can freeload from my parents. There'll be unpacking, organizing, limited decorating, and... sleep. Lots of sleep. Yeah, because that's what teenagers naturally do together in bed their first night in their own apartment.

July 3- Life begins again, for real. Angela may or may not have a day job at this point. Either way, she drops me off at work, then goes off and does her own thing. If she's making money, good. If she wants to stay home and read or decorate or bake or whatever, that's cool too. We have lunch together, the work day wraps up, then I have night classes and she'll be working. We're both off at 10, and then home again. This is life pretty much every weekday from now on.

July 8- Housewarming party! This is when we spend about $20 on food, play music off my laptop, and hope everyone else brings us useful gifts. I figure if I just ask people to onate a box of pasta or a loaf of bread, we should be able to feed ourselves for a month at zero cost. Cheap? Yeah, but hey... We're Asian. I'm not sure yet if I want to have the party in the apartment, or at some local park.

July 26- Officially a year and a half together.

Yep. That's life from the end of this month onward. I'll spend basically all my free time at nights and on weekends either studying, being tutored for biology by my girlfriend, or just hanging out with her. I also plan to get a PC/TV adaptor, a PS2/USB converter, and a Red Octane metal dance pad, so I can have basically unlimited arcade-style dance games. Put that together with Blockbuster's $15/month for unlimited movie rentals and all the local parks and lakes and beaches, and entertainment should be just about covered.

Alright, this big wall of text is more for myself than for you guys. I need to get this all down in writing somewhere to help myself keep track of it, and I figure this is a better place than any other. Anyway, I'm psyched beyond words right now. I mean, other than the fact I'm sitting in an insanely boring lecture right now. This seems to be the exact opportunity I've been waiting for my whole life. Finally a chance to earn the best life I can for myself, instead of relying on unreliable roommates and broken families. And hell, this seems like it's going to be the joyride of my lifetime. Any thoughts? Objections? Well-wishing? Flames? Now's your chance. Speak now or forever hold your peace.
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ATHFfreak
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I'm close to being banned!!
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Wow man, good luck and have a happy life. Yeah, I hope her parents see reason later on.
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+Amazing Ampharos
Tangela
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Just be sure to not rush into anything. This is serious buisiness.

Ok, first of all, how old are you two exactly? I mean, she's living with her parents and they have her driver's liscence(what?) so she can't be all that old. I mean, age is just a number, but be sure you're really ready for this sort of thing.

Also, if you're going to move in together, I'm sure the idea of marriage has crossed both your minds at some point. Is this just a step along the path for you or do you not want to get into that whole buisiness?

I'm happy for you and I hope things work out happily for the both of you, but I know these things can go sour, especially if her parents are intent on making them go sour. Do they know? They'll be really upset and obstructive probably(from how it sounds), but this sort of thing works out better if it's an open thing rather than a stealing off into the night sort of thing. Also, wow, that's an in-depth scedule. Being organized is good, but don't try to be too sceduled about the whole thing or else it could be sort of stiffling.

But yeah, best of wishes to you. Be sure to be around and keep us informed.
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uberhaxx0r
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your mother
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^What aa said.

Well hope you have a happily-ever-after-life etc...
I guess all I can add right now is expect the unexpected.
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Banzo803
Tangela
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...Wow.

Good luck to you man, good luck. Sounds really sweet, and you;ve earned it. I so wish i were you right now...

:) Good luck.
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+Jolteon
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Army of fgts
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*flame.*

<_<
>_>

Ok, seriously, gl dude and hope you can get on every now and then. It's been great to know you.

Also I do agree with aa. =/
(21:51:38) meddle: jolteon beats sandslash
(21:51:45) meddle: but both beat shuckle

^the truth

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osmbv tiger
Delibird
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You guys actually want the darker side of it?

On my end...
I have to leave home. I'm pretty sure I've told most of you, either directly or just through general ranting. I had a strict deadline of July 1 initially, but my parents lightened up on that a bit. Still though, I like working around a strict deadline because when I don't have pressure on me, I tend to get distracted. I had my plans all nicely laid out and all with these two other people... but they both bailed on me a couple weeks ago, basically leaving me high and dry, and stuck with a deadline that I committed myself to when I was relying on them. So now I have some serious trust issues when it comes to people I'll be living with and relying on to pay bills. Where I'm from though, there's hardly anyone that actually has to support themself, and that tiny demographic doesn't even come close to including my group of friends. Furthermore, my parents just retracted their promise to pay for my first month's rent, my car insurance, and some basic furniture. Altogether, that cuts me out of about $900 in the first month alone, and $120 for each month thereafter. So for me, this is just as much a desparate move as it is a move for my own happiness. I'm just trying to be optimistic.

On my girlfriend's side...
She's 18, just barely. Okay, actually she'll be 18 on June 7th. Too young to really handle life on her own? Yeah, maybe. Here's the thing though. Her parents just don't know if they can really afford her right now. She did get into UCI and UCSD , but as of right now her mother refuses to give her a direct answer as to whether or not she can pay. Her mother would rather move the family back to Taiwan because it is cheaper there, and it doesn't take quite as long to finish getting a pharmacy degree. However, Angela knows that one, she's far too Americanized now to ever enjoy Taiwan, and two, the higher-ranked universities over in Taiwan are far too competitive for her anyway. At the moment, it is decided that her family will be going to Taiwan around the same time that I plan to move into my apartment, but her mom isn't sure yet whether it's just going to be a vacation or if it's a permanent move. Angela will not risk being stuck there, unable to buy her own ticket back. And I simply can't wait until the last week of June for a definite answer.

The situation now is almost completely settled, but there's still some complications. For her, my primary concern is that she's throwing away a potential relationship with her parents in the future. From what she tells me, that relationship has been severely lacking for the past six years anyway. Her family is very pressed for money, especially since Angela has another high school-age sister that will need university paid for in a few years as well. I can't blame Angela for wanting to leave home right now.. Her parents really truly are a pain in the ass, and have even built a reputation around the whole community for being rude, manipulating, and somewhat creepy. I just worry that the problem might not be easily forgiven in the future. Can Angela handle the fact that her parents may not want to attend her wedding? And even if they did decide they wanted to, what if they're in Taiwan at the time? I know the pain of being cut off from family members. About two years ago, it was decided for me that I was to live full-time with my mom and stepdad instead of continuing to alternate between my mom and dad's houses. I really had almost no choice in the matter at all; I was still just 17 at the time, so my parents could arrange anything they wanted for me. Despite having no control though, my dad and stepmom saw the situation as a betrayal on my part and have cut me off entirely. I had some limited contact with my siblings on that side at least, but that ended when around the time college started for me; my stepmom didn't want to have any connection at all so that she wouldn't have to contribute to my college tuition. I was hurt by the sudden change in life for a month or two, but eventually I adapted and realized it was pretty cool actually having a stable house and not having to worry about my mom and dad meeting each other and starting a big fight again. I was genuinely glad for the first year to not have to deal with that half of my family. Over time though, it began eating at me more and more. My stepmom, irrational as she is, was by far the strongest force in shaping my childhood. My morals, quirks, beliefs, even baking talents all come from her, and have been manifesting themselves very powerfully in the past year. I also miss my siblings on that half of my family to no end, and I know I'll regret for the rest of my life not seeing them grow up. It's still an open wound for me, and I think it will be for a long time to come. I'm afraid that Angela's parents won't be any more forgiving than my own, and she'll have to deal with this pain as well.

Sad as it is, my biggest hope for the future is that our financial success will be the main cause in reuniting our families. It's shallow and idealistic; money can't buy happiness, right? But the truth is that when it really comes down to it, financial security means so much. It was my college tuition that cut the last ties to my dad's side of my family. Before I started, I still visited and hung out, but as soon as it came time to pay, they've avoided me completely. My stepmom figured that by "choosing" my mother over her, I had betrayed all my morals, meaning I was a bad person and would never amount to any sort of success, so she wouldn't invest that much into my future. As for Angela, I know her parents love her to no end, or at least her mother does. Their family has a lot of issues though, most of which are centered on money. The tension in that household is ruining Angela right now, and the uncertainty of which half of the world they'll be living on come September is horrible for both Angela and her sister. Ideally, Angela would be going to UCSD in the fall, with her parents paying for as much as they can and then relying on grants/loans/work for the rest. Unfortunately, her family is too prideful and traditional to allow the daughter to work to finance her own education. They'd rather just ship her off to a foreign country. At least she knows that on her own- with or without me- she'll be able to pay for her own transfer to a UC after two years of saving, and probably have a lot more fun in the process too. In a way, Angela and I have the same situation- we're both escaping situations where we have to rely on parents that may or may not support us either financially or emotionally, and tend to change their minds without warning. We'd both prefer more stability at this important turning point in our lives, and would do whatever it takes. Just coincidentally, we really fulfill each others' needs in life right now, as roommates, carpool partners, and best friends. As far as I can tell, this is the best move for both of us right now, and I'm trying to make the most of it.

I've told Angela that she should talk to her parents about this as directly as possible; give her mom the big ultimatum of "Either you stay here in the US and pay for my college, or I'm leaving," but the choice really is Angela's in the end. I do insist that she leave her parents a note at the very minimum, so at least they know that she lefton her own and nothing dangerous happened. Also, Angela has left home like this before. Thing is, those escapades never lasted very long because as a minor, her parents could just threaten to call the police and have her escorted home, with kidnapping charges on whoever helped her get out. Extreme yes, but it's what parents do.

As for things between Angela and myself... Yes, marriage is in the plans for the future. We're going to be living the married lifestyle in a month from now, but we don't want to be officially wed until we finish at least our undergrad education. If everything is still going well between us four years from now, then you guys are all invited. Our relationship is going very strong right now, and it's been consistently strong our entire time together. We have discussed opinions on just about everything, hit all the big topics, etc. We aren't without our disagreements of course, but we are the type to talk things through and work them out smoothly. We've never argued to the point of screaming and cursing, and we've never broken up and gotten back together. We already know all the major things there are to know about each other. Now living together, we get to discover all those little quirks that we don't even know about ourselves. Should be a great learning experience. I do know how things like this can go sour; my own mom and dad went through a situation not too different twenty years ago. The result? Me. I'd like to think I've already learned the big hard lessons vicariously through them. What happens when you get married too soon? Me. What happens when you drink too much, especially on Valentine's Day? Me. What happens when you take too much time off work and bills don't get paid? Divorce. At least I know that Angela and I are both very patient, flexible, and tolerant people. I don't see our relationship having any problems anytime soon. If things don't work and we do break up, we're the type to see it coming a long time in advance rather than one big fight blowing it all apart at once. At least it'll leave us ample time to plan for separating and making new living arrangements with other people.
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+Phiddlesticks
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CHIME CHIME
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Whoa, awesome. I really hope you two can pull this off :)
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Banzo803
Tangela
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Heh, in 20 years we'll all organise ourself to surprise you on your doorstep, we'll be introduced as your pokemoning friends.
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+bearzly
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Tangela
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lol lets all go to his wedding

Good luck this all of this, I hope it alls works out well. It's kinda too bad that she is running away from her parents, but I hope that they are understanding and you can have a happy life :)
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ATHFfreak
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I'm close to being banned!!
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mang i would so go to your wedding lol, that stuff that money isnt happiness is pretty much bull anyways imho
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uberhaxx0r
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your mother
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Dude, money isn't happiness, it just creates it D:
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+Amazing Ampharos
Tangela
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Money isn't happiness, but not having money is unhappiness. That's what I've seen.
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osmbv tiger
Delibird
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Hey, she's cool with pokemon. Not the player I am (and yes, I realize i get 6-0'd every other battle; that's not what I mean), but she still appreciates the series. She's a Fire-lover unfortunately. Ponyta FTW?
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VampireDude34
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Your Friendly Neighbourhood Vampire Dude
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osmbv tiger
Jun 4 2006, 03:10 AM
Hey, she's cool with pokemon. Not the player I am (and yes, I realize i get 6-0'd every other battle; that's not what I mean), but she still appreciates the series. She's a Fire-lover unfortunately. Ponyta FTW?

nah

More like Marcargo FTW
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LUEshi Jr.
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also cocks.
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PICS. NAO.
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lol juvie could knock me down maybe. but i wont stay down!-metagross111
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Banzo803
Tangela
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...Of what exactly?
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LUEshi Jr.
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also cocks.
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him and gf
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lol juvie could knock me down maybe. but i wont stay down!-metagross111
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+bearzly
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Tangela
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somewhere in this round table forum there is a post pictures of yourself topic
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+Crunk Juice
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bbm is (super) gay
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i need to post a pic of me so you all can see me
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LUEshi Jr.
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also cocks.
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i saw the pics tiger. good luck dude that sounds awesome
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lol juvie could knock me down maybe. but i wont stay down!-metagross111
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tatersalad14
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The Tater
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Good luck man. I hope it turns out allright
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When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then find someone who's life has given them vodka and have a party~Ron White
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