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The All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread Backup Redux; In case TvTropes shuts down forums. may we never have to use this.
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Topic Started: Apr 6 2012, 07:22 PM (12,395 Views)
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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Jul 7 2013, 05:15 PM
Post #286
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!
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DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! I'll even help!
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I AM THE OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!!!!!!
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OverMaster
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Jul 7 2013, 07:39 PM
Post #287
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Oboy. Whee.
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Satomi's Lab.
- Quote:
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"Oooooohhhh!" her annoying sister Makie said. "What does this button do...?"
"Makie, wait, no!" Satomi cried. "Don't press the—!"
Makie pressed it regardless.
BOOOOOOOMM.
An ashen-faced Satomi blinked, coughed up some black smoke, then said, "Definitely, one of us has to be an adopted child."
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jul 8 2013, 07:12 PM
Post #288
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Oboy. Whee.
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Random.
- Quote:
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Mahou Sensei Nekane.
She looked at her diploma and frowned slightly.
Become a teacher in Japan.
Well, if the high spirits of magic said it, she couldn't possibly disobey, and although it would be awful leaving Negi so long behind at such a short age, he would be fine under the Merdiana teachers' tutelage, she supposed.
---
Evangeline looked down at her downed prey and sighed. "Well, only his niece, but still carrying some of his blood all the same. It'll have to suffice..." she told herself before lowering her mouth to the girl's neck...
Well, that was a short series.
Mahou Sensei Nekane, Take Two.
She looked at her diploma and frowned slightly.
Become a teacher in Japan.
Fortunately, the Headmaster and his Mahora colleague arranged for a way to have Negi studying at Mahora Elementary, and Akashi-sensei, after a few calls from Ms. Donet, promised he'd keep the boy's studies on magic on the side.
Evangeline didn't have the heart (black or not) to suck Nekane dry after that stupid pint sized brat stood between them bawling his eyes off. Damn her standards. Worse of it all, somehow, she was roped into training the stupid niece of that Nagi worm...
By the time Nekane got to teach Asuna's class, Yuuna already had all but forgotten her Papa Complex, although it had been replaced by a Shota Complex even bigger than Ayaka's. Her and Negi's wedding seven years later came as no real surprise to anyone, unlike that of Nekane and Asuna...
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jul 12 2013, 01:02 PM
Post #289
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Oboy. Whee.
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More.
- Quote:
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As Easy as Amnesia.
Anime Final Movie Negi sobbed. "— and so, all of them but one will suffer eternal amnesia... They won't remember any of the time we spent together... any of the many things we lived through... our friendship forged through all those adventures... everything, all of it, they will forget it!"
Katsuragi Keima looked blandly at him across the table. "— and so what?"
Negi looked back at him for a moment before punching him in the stomach.
"Actually, " Ranma said, "I think I'd be interested on how I can get one of those harem amnesia deals, as well..."
No One Would Look There.
The gathered girls began fuming.
"I can't find him anywhere, " Asakura reported.
"As, as if earth had swallowed him whole!" Nodoka made a few petite sobs.
Chizuru twirled her leak around slowly, her fingers growing unrestful by the moment. "Ara ara, now this is really troubling..."
"Even with all of his powers, he couldn't have just disappeared like that! He must be somewhere!" Yuuna seethed to herself. "But where? Where?-!"
Elsewhere, inside of an otherwise empty and creepily silent movie theater, a blank-faced Akira and Asuna sat at each side of a giddily excited Negi.
"Eh, " Asuna finally said, "at least it has Johnny Depp."
Negi bounced up and down on his seat. "The Lone Ranger is awesome!"
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What is the point anymore?
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rikalous
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Jul 12 2013, 01:32 PM
Post #290
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Creature of the Deep
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I was trying to work on something, and then this happened. - Quote:
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Familiar Convention
“I shouldn't even be here," Yuuno murmured to Arf, who'd invited him. “Yes, I know I have an animal form and no Device and lots of barrier spells, but I am still a human.”
“Never stopped Saito. And you're much more of a gentleman.”
“Thank you. I'm just worried that the rather large fellow made of rock is going to punch me in the face for being an interloper. I've gotten somewhat rusty.”
Arf glanced at the familiar currently swapping “My partner is an utter lunatic” stories with Noi Crezant. “Mana of Gold? Nah, he's cool. Anyway, we need to get you out of that dusty library, and it's become pretty clear you only make friends with familiars.”
“What? But what about Nanoha and Fate and Chrono and the rest?”
“And you haven't seen any of them in how long?”
“...You said there was a bar?”
There was, although the pair didn't get quite that far before Yuuno got sucked into an absolutely fascinating conversation with one Albert Chamomile and a rather unenthused Chachazero about various kinds of magical contracts (and how an ermine might use them to make bank, hypothetically). They were shortly joined by a smiling, catlike thing that introduced itself as Kyubey, the agent of a group working to postpone the heat death of the universe by similar contracts.
“We came to the conclusion that renewed investigation into alternative methods when one of my contractees mentioned one to me. It is similar to the method we currently use, except instead of the girls we contract disappearing when brought to despair, they turn into 'Witches' which require other magical girls to destroy. That method would provide considerably higher energy gains, but there are certain engineering problems that cannot be surmounted with our current knowledge.”
There was a pause as the others digested this. Yuuno spoke first. “These Witches...monstrous and destructive?”
“So it seems.”
“Mindless or cunningly evil?”
“Any thoughts they have are alien to both us and humanity.”
“And you want to turn innocent children into them in order to save the universe?”
“If possible.”
The librarian nodded, completely expressionless. “This sounds exactly like the arguments I agreed to stop having with the Lieze twins. I'm getting the hell out of this conversation. You have fun.” And so he left.
Chachazero was glancing thoughtfully from Chamo to Kyubey and back, somehow breathing heavily despite her lack of actual lungs. The ermine noticed, and murmured to her, “No threesome. I am not risking catching some bizarre alien STD.”
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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OverMaster
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Jul 12 2013, 01:48 PM
Post #291
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Oboy. Whee.
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Thirty One Clown Princesses in Amber.
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The Cement Shoes.
"I am so very sorry, Mr. Paninni, " Chachamaru gently told the rival boss, "But Father has explicitly ordered me to gag and tie you up and toss you into the river with your feet trapped in a block of cement, so I'm afraid I have to carry that command to its end." And she pushed him off the pier, very easily.
A moment later, she dove in after him, pulled him back to the pier with as much ease, shattered the cement block with a fist, and untied him. "Of course, he never specified what I had to do after fulfilling those orders, " she said quietly as she walked away.
—
"So you let him go, " Joker dryly said.
Chachamaru pretended surprise. "Couldn't I do so? Oh, sorry, you never specified I couldn't, after carrying your commands, do whatever I pleased to—"
"You're grounded for the rest of the month."
"Yes, Father."
"Inside of the metal box."
"But Father, the kittens..."
"To Hell with the cats, I don't care—" He cringed at her terribly wounded flat face. "Do you think I'm an idiot, or what? I know Catwoman shows up to feed the cats with you every day! She can do that by herself!"
"I suppose so, Father."
One of those days he'd have to bother to go and kill those stinking animals himself. For now, however, he sighed. "Now Paninni must have taken the next flight to Sicily to escape me..."
"I could use a vacation...!" Yuuna sing-sang.
"Too bad. Mana will do it, " he decided.
"Eeeehhhh!" Yuuna complained.
"Mana actually knows Italian!" he said.
"C'mon, I'm just going to shoot a guy, not to make small talk with the locals!"
"No, but I'm not sending anyone to Italy without bringing me some of Nico Vinetti's famous lasagna. And you couldn't find that restaurant with a map and a guide! Mana can! So that's it!"
"I could cook you some stupid lasagna!"
He thought it over.
"On second thought, Mana, " he finally said, "When you find Paninni, don't shoot him. Bring him here and we'll feed him Yuuna's lasagna."
"HEY!-!"
"You are too cruel at times, Father, " Mana dryly said.
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What is the point anymore?
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shanejayell
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Jul 13 2013, 10:42 AM
Post #292
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Yuri Fan
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*lol* Poor Chachamaru.
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http://www.fanfiction.net/~shanejayell http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shanejayell_fanfiction
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OverMaster
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Jul 14 2013, 07:36 AM
Post #293
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Oboy. Whee.
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Thirty One Clown Princesses in Amber.
- Quote:
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Who Watches the Jokerettes?
"Ookuchi Akira, " the huge shadow told her, appearing right behind her as soon as she put the key into her lock.
The woman froze. "My name is Alison Kikuchi..." she said, trying to push her glasses up her nose.
"I'm serious, " the huge presence behind her growled. It was, indeed, the same voice, even if older, and even deeper, now. Akira's heart, despite herself, skipped a beat, in a fear she had forgotten long ago. "You know he's back."
"Is he?" the woman, her hair cut very short and dyed blond bow, grumbled in frustration. "Funny, I haven't seen the news on his escape anywhere in—"
"He's going to escape next week. And you know that, " the shadow told her, relentless. "His appearance at Endochrine's show has made the news."
"I try not to watch TV anymore, " Akira said. "Advice from my psychiatrist." She paused. "Maybe I should give you her number."
She spied, out of a corner of her eye, the much smaller and thinner colorful figure standing respectfully behind the Bat. Those legs. A girl this time, no doubt. "Why won't you stop hurting people, too?" Akira bitterly hissed. "You know why he came back to his senses? Because of you, like every other time. He does the things he does only as a challenge to you. It's only a game to both of you, isn't it? And now you're pulling that child into this, like he did to us, and you did to Neg—"
"It's never a game when people die, and people will die if you don't help me to stop him, " he forced her to turn around, looking into her eyes the same terrifying way he always did. "Tell me what you know."
"I only know this is your fault, " Akira accused. "Over and over, the two of you keep doing this to us, to everyone. But at least he realizes he's guilty, he just never cared. You, on the other hand, are blind to how much harm you cause with your mere pres—"
"Yadda yadda yadda, talking is cheap when you only try seeing your side of the equation, " the girl wearing Negi's colors now spoke. "You only blab about how harmful he is, but you ever stopped to consider all the people he has helped? From men like your 'father'? No, because even now, you're biased. You—"
The Bat imposed silence to her with nothing but a slightly raised hand.
Akira gave them both a jaded look. "Listen, I'm clean now. I have been for ten years. I have paid my debts. Please don't torment me anymore or I'll call the police."
He shot a grappling hook at the shadows of the rooftops. "You'd better call the police if he starts tormenting you, instead, " he warned, before disappearing up into the night, his young girl trailing behind her.
Akira kept looking up for several minutes, trying to make them out in the darkness, but her eyes weren't the same anymore.
She ended up just sighing and walking inside, locking the door behind herself. "I'm going to need more locks..."
"Oh, definitely!" Makie's chipper voice came from her couch, where she sat reading one of her old magazines, in full makeup and smiling so brightly, she almost looked like she hadn't aged. "Hello, Akira-chan! How do you do! Bad Akira-chan, you never called, never contacted us. Not even when Chisame died. And Fumika. And even Ako-chan, for Heaven's sake! I thought we were sisters!"
Akira backed against the door, paling horribly. "How... When did you...!"
"They were here, you know. Here as inside here, rummaging through your things, " Makie pouted. "That meanie always was so rude, wrecking our houses. And we never went to wreck his, did we? But don't worry, I arrived long before they did, noticed them entering, hid myself very well. I think he's gotten sloppy with age, and his girl is clearly not too bright. Hee hee, I think she reminds me of myself when I was her age!" she giggled, a hand scratching behind her head.
"What, what do you want?" Akira asked fearfully. "Makie?"
"Call me Makie-chan, I beg you. Like you always did, my dear big sister, " she sweetly said, extending the colorful clothes over to her. "As for what I do want, well... It should be obvious, shouldn't it? I mean, even I got it at the first try, when Yuuna-chan came to my house. Haruna-chan is also in, and they are visiting Honya and Yue as we speak... So... What will be your answer? Yes or not? You aren't going to disappoint your dear little sister again, are you?"
Akira looked at her with the most panic she had ever felt in her life.
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What is the point anymore?
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shanejayell
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Jul 14 2013, 11:44 AM
Post #294
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Yuri Fan
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Awww. Poor thing.
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http://www.fanfiction.net/~shanejayell http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shanejayell_fanfiction
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OverMaster
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Jul 14 2013, 12:54 PM
Post #295
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Oboy. Whee.
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Thirty One Clown Princesses in Amber.
- Quote:
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The World Etrigan Only Knows.
Katsuragi Keima tried to ignore the noisy new neighbors who had just moved in next door. A lot of girls in there. Too many of them, as a matter of fact. He never would understand how those creatures could be so lovable in the games, and so loathsome in the real world. Then again, pretty much everything about the real world was loathsome, so...
He frowned as he checked the last e-mail he had received. To the God of Conquest, in this city of the West…
Wounded because of the challenge following those lines, he clicked on 'Reply'. Then his room began filling with suffocating sulphur-smelling thick smoke.
And then a terrifying horned creature with stark yellow skin towered over him, and he had tightened a choking collar around his neck.
"Ho-ho! Were you expecting for lovely vision? My apologies, but I'm the one in this mission! I am chasing stray souls from Hell, and in that, you'll help me or, well..."
—-
They spied at the house next door, where the daughters of the yet unseen new owner of the home played something they were calling 'Baseball Jaken' at the backyard. So unladylike. Only girls in trashy eroge would act like that...
Etrigan bopped his head from behind to regain his attention.
"So!" the demon said. "Can you see the auras encircling them all? Their dark hearts give those spirits a call! Your part in this enterprise is snaring their attention. Then I'll give the spirits leaving their bodies the proper detention!" He slammed a massive fist on the palm of his other clawed hand.
"Hmmm, " Keima frowned. "I... I suppose it can be done. I mean, just look at them. They look like a complete menagerie of dating simulation archetypes. Yes, I'll handle it. It would take a while, but there's no actual choice, is there?" she sighed in defeat.
Etrigan chuckled grisly and ran a claw through Keima's hair, almost leaving cut marks on his scalp. "Certainly not! But think positively, lad! You could have ended with an airhead who is always scantily clad!"
Keima's right eyebrow twitched. "Yes. That would have been... bad."
He was starting to reconsider his views on real girls being the worst after knowing this demon, although his encounters with the neighbors would only reinforce his first impression on the subject.
—-
Elsewhere, at London, Elsea was in a Romantic Harem Comedy situation with Haqua, the male and female halves of Doctor Occult, Zazie's sister Poyo, Zatanna Zatara, Anya Cocolova, Raven of the Teen Titans, and John Constantine. But that's a story for another day.
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What is the point anymore?
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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Jul 14 2013, 06:15 PM
Post #296
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!
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How about a continuation of that second?
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I AM THE OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!!!!!!
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Hyp3rB14d3
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Jul 14 2013, 09:36 PM
Post #297
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Not secretly a sentient cat
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I don't know, the first sounds funnier. These are the psychotic versions of the Negima girls raised by the Joker, right?
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Ryouga Quest
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OverMaster
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Jul 17 2013, 09:43 AM
Post #298
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Oboy. Whee.
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Yeah.
- Quote:
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A Matter of Jurisdiction.
"I can't believe we are having this discussion again, " Kuchiki Rukia sighed.
Elsie pouted. "Well, we wouldn't keep having the same discussion if you didn't keep running into our Runaway Spirit captures!"
"For the last time, they are called Hollows!" Rukia said. "True, I still don't understand why they keep posessing young girls now instead of wandering around devouring souls, but... Hollows act very weird at times."
"No, no, no, I tell you, you're getting it wrong!" she looked back at her companion, who stood at the sidelines with a blank faced Ichigo. "Kami-niisama, set her right, will you?"
"Uh, I think you're handling it fine, " Keima absently said while keeping his eyes on his portable console and the galge in it.
Ichigo gave the game a dubious gaze over Keima's shoulder. "Seriously, how can you like those things? Aren't they too... girly?"
The girl lying between Rukia and Elsie began coming back to her senses, tossing her long light purple hair off her face. "Uhhh... What happened... Last thing I remember, I was—"
Rukia and Elsie both pressed a foot on her head, just hard enough to knock her back down.
"Please stay out of this, Kakizaki-san."
"Yeah, what she said, Kakizaki-san."
They stared at each other again.
"I'll draw you another cute bunny driving a fire truck, " Rukia finally offered.
"Nooo, I'm not falling for that one again!"
"With a cute bear tossed in."
"Nnnghhh!" Elsie obviously fought hard against the temptation. "No, no, I can't do it...!"
"Is this going to take much longer?" Ichigo asked. "Unlike Megane here, I don't have all the day to waste it standing here waiting for you!"
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jul 19 2013, 07:20 PM
Post #299
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Oboy. Whee.
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Why do I keep having ideas about a series I'm not even supposed to like?
- Quote:
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The World Only Negi Knows.
Negi rubbed his chin in deep, troubled pondering. "This is problematic, " he said. "From what I observed, she was posessed by what us mages call a Runaway Spirit, a troublemaking soul from the underworld that enters young females with the hopes of eventually reincarnating in their children. Fortunately, " he held a small glass container up, "as a mage, I have been taught how to deal with them. All we need is to drive the Runaway Spirit from her body by filling the emptiness in her heart. Once we do that, the spirit will leave her and I'll capture it into this."
His new student frowned coldly. "'We'?" "Certainly, " Negi nodded. "It will involve making her to develop strong romantic feelings, and well, I'm her teacher and much younger than her. It wouldn't proper at all if I covered that part of the operation, would it?" he reasoned.
Somewhere in Wales, an ermine elf shuddered and looked up. "Bro! What are you doing?"
Keima turned around and began walking away, his attention focused again on his handheld. "Forget it. I have no interest, reason or desire to help you."
"Katsuragi-san, " Negi said then, in a suddenly icy voice. "Ayumi-san is my student too, you know that?"
"Of course I do. And?"
"And, " Negi said in an incredibly tense tone, "you know I would never forgive anyone who would allow harm to befall one of my students, don't you?"
Something about those words made Keima actually dubious and wary enough to ask "Even another student of yours?"
"My sister taught me once that, if you are going to allow one of your condisciples falling in disgrace, then you aren't their condisciple at all..." Negi's strangely dangerous tone grew even more ominous.
For some reason, Keima felt like gulping.
—-
The small adorable boy smiled at Mari. "Good afternoon!" he bowed in a highly polite fashion. "I'm your illegitimate son with my father!"
Keima blinked, obviously shocked by how the boy teacher could have gotten the stupid cover story so wrong. "Um, um, I think you mean—!"
Mari swallowed very quickly and melted into nervous giggles. "Oh my! Oh my oh my oh dear!" And she hugged Negi. "Don't worry, poor child! From now on, I'll look after you... forever!"
Keima's face turned into a bizarre masque of distorted concern.
—-
The Runaway Spirits posessed girls from all across town, from every school in the city. Mahora, Furinkan, Tomobiki, Tomoeda, Ohtori, even Youkai Academy. And pretty much every class from every school had at least one attacked girl in their ranks.
All but Itoshiki-sensei's class.
Even Runaway Spirits had standards.
—-
Chamo sniffled, pacing back and forth across the table. "I can't believe it! Bro, you're supposed to be the kissing and conquering stud, and I'm supposed to be the one who gets you the girls! That's how it's done! You can't act like the familiar to this pencil necked geek, no offense mister since I can see you've got the chops too, but anyway, this must be remedied from now on! From this day, you will be the one doing the conquests!"
"But I really think he's better at it than I'd ever be!" Negi protested. "And I'm their teacher! And ten!"
Chamo gave his protege a concerned look. "Really?"
"Uhhh..."
"I have no problems stepping aside, " Keima quietly said while playing and playing.
The ermine looked at him, hummed, then said, "Say, what have you actually learned from those things anyway...?"
—-
Ayaka blinked. "Hm. Okay. Let me see if I have understood it, Sensei. You and Katsuragi-sempai have this... association going on, where you free girls from the spirits posessing them, and then you kiss them to give them magical powers so they can help you in your quest to find your father. And so far, you have done that with Asuna-san, Takahara-sempai, Nodoka-san, Aoyama-sempai, Chisame-san, Nakagawa-sempai, Konoka-san, Setsuna-san, that tiny old lady with the creepy granddaughter, and—"
"It all kind of snowballed out of control, " Negi miserably admitted.
Ayaka rubbed her temples in slow circles. "And even Makie-san! Why? I doubt she had any worries to make her vulnerable to one of those spirits!"
"Actually, I just tackled him and kissed him as soon as I learned of it all, " Makie candidly said.
"I'm going to hurt you...!" Ayaka hissed.
Keima grumbled, pondering on how bothersome and noisy 3D girls were while keeping his game of Let's Romance Net Idol Chiu! "If only any of you could be half as good as Chiu-sama is..."
For some reason he never understood, Chisame elbowed him in a really vicious way then.
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jul 20 2013, 07:37 PM
Post #300
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Oboy. Whee.
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You're Gaijin, you wouldn't Understand.
- Quote:
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Batman and Superman stood over the devastated, wrecked, smoking wasteland that used to be Japan.
"Hnh, " Batman said. "I knew they would end up like this eventually."
"I could hear it all the way from Apokolips, even over Darkseid's whining as I gave him that wedgie, " Superman said in a somber tone. "It was as if ten million voices cried 'ANTA BAKA! HENTAI!' at once before falling silent."
"Clark, it was ten million voices crying 'ANTA BAKA! HENTAI!' at once before falling silent."
He shrugged. "Of course it. Superhearing never lets me down, Batbitch."
"I found this one alive, " Wolverine said as he walked closer with a slightly charred but unconcerned Luffy D. Monkey, who was messily chomping on a large chunk of well cooked meat. "Seems he had no idea of the whole mess goin' on with the harems thing."
"Yo...!" Luffy cheerfully waved.
Superman gave the meat he was munching on a worried look. "Um, you know that's no pork or cattle, don't you..."
"Finders keepers!" Luffy warned.
"... Be my guest, " Superman sighed before posing with his fists on his hips, a random bald eagle landing down on his shoulder. Luffy stretched an arm and yanked it down to start eating it up too, while the Man of Steel went on, oblivious, "We'll never forget you, Japan! We'll never forget all the wonders you gave us, like, uh... sushi, and..."
"Ninja. I'm going to miss fighting those guys, " Wolverine said.
"Ninja? Oh, phooie!" Luffy snorted.
"Come to think about it, you aren't even Japanese. What are you doing at Japan to begin with—" Batman began.
Superman rasped. "Ahem! Yes, we'll miss all these brave souls living here, groping others in the subway and dating virtual people with gigantic eyes and pink and green hair! And we'll never forget the valuable lesson we learned from them, on how we never should have hilarious romantic misunderstandings with the power of demigods and the mental maturity of ten year olds! And how we should make things clear early on instead of falling prey to Can't Spit it Out nonsense! And how we never should have our noses exploding in geysers of blood when thinking of the opposite gender, while we're at it! Seriously, what was up with that?"
"Does that mean you'll stop dating Lois and Lana at once?"
"Shut up, Bruce."
"I'm still alive...!" Urashima Keitaro whined from the ashen ground.
Superman rubbed his own square chin. "Come to think about it, Goku and me never settled that issue on which one of us would win, either..." "You're never letting that go, are you?"
"I think I already said 'Shut up, Bruce'..."
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What is the point anymore?
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