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The All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread Backup Redux; In case TvTropes shuts down forums. may we never have to use this.
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Topic Started: Apr 6 2012, 07:22 PM (12,394 Views)
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OverMaster
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Jul 21 2013, 07:29 PM
Post #301
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Oboy. Whee.
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Ugly.
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"Class, meet Negi Springfield, your new English and homeroom teacher," Shizuna said.
Negi froze in place. He knew better than to judge people by their looks. He never had judged anyone based on their looks. But all the girls in that classroom were so ugly, their combined ugliness was enough to crush all living joy out of him for a fleeting moment. After Shizuna discreetly squeezed his hand in support, however, he forced himself to smile and greet the class of hideous looking freaks.
Then they made a deafening collective cry of glee, and they jumped to bury him under a squirming hill of ugliness. Negi shrieked for help desperately.
---
"GAH!" he cried as he woke up and found himself face to face with the living nightmare that was Asuna-san's face. She smelled like his sister, but she sure didn't look like her at all! Damn his sleepwalking! His sense of smell had betrayed him!
That morning, Asuna found him self-hogtied to his futon and facing away from her and Konoka's beds. She never could understand how he managed it...
---
The Black Lillies' offer to become '''their''' teacher instead had been tempting. Oh so very tempting. But then he saw Makie-san's freakish but devastated and sad face, and he swallowed the acceptance before it could be uttered. Instead, he rose to the older girls' challenge as well.
Along his students.
---
He didn't have the heart to mention how much Photoshop Chisame-san had to be using. Instead, he only smiled and said, "Ah! But Chisame-san looks much better this way!"
She had to know it was a blatant lie. For a moment, he feared he had insulted her and her intelligence worse than a tacit admission of her monstrously pimply ugliness would have.
She still punched him, but not as hard as he had expected.
---
Chamo paced back and forth, worried. He never thought he'd see the day when he would consider not making a Pactio for his brother, but there wasn't even a single salvageable girl in that classroom. He thought of convincing him to look for help in another classroom. That Itoshiki guy seemed to have quite the collection of beauties.
But Negi would not hear a word of it.
In the end, Asuna-san did far better than Chamo ever thought. He still couldn't bear looking at her face, though.
---
Tsukuyomi's heart soared. Disgusting as the aspect of that Sempai was, her technique was so perfect, and her power so big, it still was love at first sight.
Tsukuyomi, in her own way, was always about looking past the outside and focusing on the raw heart of anothers' passion and fighting spirit. And really, she, who loved the sight of a massacre, cared relatively little about popular notions of esthetics. Setsuna-sempai was as beautiful as a goddess in her mind's eye.
Now, all she had to do was pulling her away from that horrible daughter of the Konoes...
---
Paio Zi paused grimly for a moment.
"Eh," she ended up saying. "As long as they still have breasts--"
Granted, their breasts tended to be ugly too, to a point even an omnivore like the infamous Chichigami was moved to hesitate, but beggers couldn't be pickers, right? After all, they had made every other woman in the baths to scram away in terror.
---
Fate Averruncus paid no mind to anyone's appearance. That saved him from the extra world of pain Negi always brought on those who commented on his Ministra's deformities.
Fate's female followers, on the other hand, could not help but flaunting their own beauty on the face of those horrendous rejects from the Old World.
Worse for them. The Ministra also were terribly sensitive on comments about their appearances.
---
Negi held his firstborn close to his chest and smiled.
She was the world's most beautiful girl.
And to his eyes, she'd still have looked that way, even if she had looked like her mother at all.
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What is the point anymore?
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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Jul 21 2013, 07:30 PM
Post #302
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!
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Aw....
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I AM THE OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!!!!!!
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OverMaster
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Jul 22 2013, 12:39 PM
Post #303
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Oboy. Whee.
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Undercover Boss.
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"Class, today we'll be welcoming a temporary exchange student, Kinoe Kikuemon, " Negi said, gesturing for the girl with the oddly shaped head, the thick white eyebrows and the deeply wrinkled face to step ahead. Most of 3-A shuddered as she clacked her bony knees covered by brownish spots together. The rest of her legs, exposed under a skirt that had never looked so short on anyone else, was even worse. "I'm sure you'll make her feel right at home during her stay with us!"
Konoka blinked. "Aaaaahhh, " she told herself, "You remind me a lot of someone... I know! Touko-sensei!"
"What, " Setsuna blinked.
"Hee heee hee!" the new girl giggled with a voice that sounded as if she had smoked nonstop since the moment of her birth. "I'm so glad to be here with all of us-desuuuu!"
Negi smiled at her. "Kinoe-san, you'll sit next to Evangeline-san. She's the blond girl at the back of the class."
Eva snorted as the girl took her seat at her side. "Wouldn't it have worked better if you had taken a job as, I don't know, a teacher?" She wheezed hideously, trying to keep her voice low. "We'll discuss this later. The girdle... The girdle barely lets me breathe..."
Eva rolled her eyes. Honestly, only he would be stupid enough to go with an idea like that...
Elsewhere, Tamaki, Koyomi, Shiori, Shirabe and Homura stared blankly at the dark skinned, towering new recruit before them, clad in a skimpy outfit that barely covered her suspiciously muscular body.
"This is your new partner in field operations, Mayumi-san, " Fate flatly informed. "I have verified she is very strong and able, and while I haven't been able to contact Dynamis-sama for his opinion on her, I'm sure he won't object to her inclusion in our ranks..."
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jul 28 2013, 06:57 PM
Post #304
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Oboy. Whee.
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The Other Side.
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Five years ago, demons attacked a small village on the hills of Wales.
Five years ago, a brave hero rose and massacred the demons, saving the lives of a small child and his cousin.
That left an indelible mark.
Now, a small figure marches ahead as he hears his name, silently striding along the hallway of the prestigious magical academy. He receives his title and assignment from his venerable, old headmaster, and thanks him fittingly.
As he sees the assignment, he smiles to himself. Yes, that will do it. Yes, it will hopefully take him closer to find that man. That champion of mages. The Thousand Master.
"Father..." the boy muses.
He clenches a fist and smiles cruelly.
"Father!" he promises. "I'll find that man, the one who killed you and your forces five years ago! So I swear! And I'll destroy him and his whole family!"
The merciless laughter of the young one fills the old halls of the demon school...
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jul 29 2013, 06:54 PM
Post #305
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Oboy. Whee.
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The Real Reason Why...
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"I've decided, " Akamatsu stood up, "to reveal the identity of the girl Negi will marry. I have settled for one at last. It's Baka Pi
Hence why we never were told.
CRUSHED!
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What is the point anymore?
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rikalous
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Jul 29 2013, 07:01 PM
Post #306
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Creature of the Deep
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Explains why she was still focused on Negi in the epilogue.
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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OverMaster
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Jul 31 2013, 09:29 AM
Post #307
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Oboy. Whee.
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Forbidden Blossomed Love.
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As the bride and the groom left the church leaving no dry eye behind, Ayaka primly wiped the corner of her eyes with a white tissue.
"W-Well, " she said, "Even if their love is forbidden and taboo by nature and society, I'm sure they'll still manage happiness! I'll lend all my help to make sure their children are healthy and—"
Chizuru gave her a mildly startled look. "Ayaka! Don't tell me you didn't know yet!"
"Knowing what?" the blonde asked.
"Natsumi-chan and Kotaro-kun aren't actual siblings!"
Ayaka looked at her with blatant stupor. "You mean... Bu-But even so, they were raised as if they were! When did they learn—?"
"Ayaka, they never were siblings at all. That's just something they kept up as their cover story for Kotaro-kun to live with us."
Ayaka's eyes grew obscenely huge.
"Um... Ayaka?"
"Why am I always to last one to be told of these things?"
"Um... I honestly don't know?"
"Is there anything else about those who are supposed to be my dear and close friends that no one has bothered to inform me about yet?"
"I don't know, either, " Chizuru thought, with a hand on a cheek. "Oh, I guess there's that thing where Hakase-san found some old blood samples of Chao-san and managed to figure her family tree out, but I thought they had told you—"
'"GRRRWAAWWWRRRFFF YYYAAAAARRRHHHGHHHHH!"
"— I guess not."
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What is the point anymore?
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rikalous
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Jul 31 2013, 10:05 AM
Post #308
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Creature of the Deep
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Okay, that got me giggling. Well done.
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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OverMaster
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Jul 31 2013, 06:00 PM
Post #309
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Oboy. Whee.
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I Am Legend.
- Quote:
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"Negi, " Asuna tensely said. "We finally found Tsukuyomi with the Cassiopeia she stole."
He grew alarmed. "Where? Has... Has she changed anything about history?" he grew frankly agitated. "Is there anything we need to fix so—"
Asuna scratched the back of her neck uneasily. "Well, Chao herself said it's... okay, sort of. That, while she did things that were... bad back there, she... kind of filled a hole in mankind's story, I don't know... Chao mentioned about it being necessary to leave that alone so there wouldn't be a paradox... She said no one will ever learn the truth anyway..."
"Where? When?" Negi kept on asking.
Asuna sighed. "Victorian London."
"Huh?"
—-
Tsukuyomi kept on smiling just as sweetly. "Who would have ever suspected a small girl in elegant clothes, right? I tell you, Sempai, I had more actual fun passing under my pursuers' noses without ever being noticed than commiting the actual deeds! They only would say 'Oh dear, go back home with your mother', give me some pennies for candy, and send me on my way. I think I still have some, not that I can reach for them with these restrains on. But they're in my back pocket, right on my—"
Setsuna slapped Jack the Ripper.
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What is the point anymore?
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Darkenning
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Aug 1 2013, 08:44 AM
Post #310
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Pervert. Also, Witch.
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... I just can't see Tsukuyomi as being patient enough to do what was done to Mary Jane Kelly frankly.
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"Hello! I'm Rurin, the Magical Mouse! My favorite food is cheese! My favorite pastimes are tormenting cats and facilitating romance! I have the power to bind the souls of guys who mistreat women to the depths of hell and subject them to everlasting karmic suffering! Isn't that cute? Pleased to meet you!" -- Rurin, the Magical Mouse, Magical Patissiere Kosaki-chan.
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OverMaster
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Aug 2 2013, 02:20 PM
Post #311
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Oboy. Whee.
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Eh, she had enough patience to at least go with a relatively elaborate staging as the Cinema Town trap, if not outright come up with the idea herself (the staging didn't look too much like Chigusa's style). Setsuna always seemed to bring the most desperate and impatient from her, and since most of her later panel time was about Setsuna, well...
Even so, she was still patient enough to just sit watching Setsuna and Asuna at the waterfall without attacking them at any time during or soon afterwards.
Little to go on, true, but either way, Negima offers relatively little on most of its characters.
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Aug 3 2013, 07:47 PM
Post #312
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Oboy. Whee.
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The Games the Gods Play.
- Quote:
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Yggdrasil, the Home of the Gods.
"Welcome back, Your Eternal Highness," Peorth fell to one knee before the returning Allfather, Tyr, kissing his outstretched hand delicately. "I trust everything went well during your visit to Belldandy and her sisters?"
"Indeed," He said, then paused to look into his splendid celestial robes. "Oh. No, wait. It seems I have left my favorite dating simulator at some point of Mahora..."
Peorth blinked. "Huh?"
He smiled benevolently. "Well, you know how it is. You just have too much in your mind when you have omniscience. It hardly matters, I can get myself another one..."
---
Some sort of highly developed special sense alerted Katsuragi Keima when he passed next to the bench where someone had left a colorful game case. The young man stopped playing his PFP for a moment to pick the strange, alluring game that seemed to call for him.
"What is this--?"
---
It had to be a fanmade game by someone with too much time in the Game Development club, he deduced after the first two minutes of starting it. It had a staggering variety of languages to select, including Japanese, but all the info on the developers was in a strange nonsensical language that seemed to be written in runes. Even weirder, however, was the fact the game offered not the single average protagonist, but several options of male leads, all of whom was, Keima supposed, students or teachers at Mahora.
He recognized Negi-sensei, of course. He also recognized Saotome, because even he couldn't ignore the brawls that guy had all over the school, not to mention the rumors on his crossdressing. And there also was that Ikari kid in the class of Keima's aunt Misato, the one she liked to talk about so much. Other than those, the options were people he thought he might have seen somewhere (in truth, he often crossed paths with them, even if he never actually looked at them). Their names meant little for him. Kyon. Itou. Tate. Masaki. Kosaka. Kurosaki. Morisato. Tohno. Emiya. Sagara. Harima. And several others, but the creepiest part of it all was there was even a slot for him. When he tried it, however, the game showed an access denied glitch. Well, he guessed it was normal if they hadn't finished his route in a prototype. After all, who would ever be interested on a romantic story starring him?
Everyone else seemed to be playable, though. But covering all routes, with every girl every boy had as an option, would take him too long and the release of the next Yokkyun game was close. So he decided, undaunted and smiling, to just tackle this mysterious challenge by handling all options at once. After all, he was the God of Conquests! And the game allowed to save concurrent files for all males at once. By alternating between them, he could get every option done in almost no time!
"All right!" he told himself. "Let's do this!"
---
He hummed pleasantly to himself as he walked between young couples in love, which seemed to be everywhere as the School Festival approached. That game was surprisingly enthralling and complex for a fan creation. He almost wanted to look for the developers and shake their hands, but he was aware asking around could only get him in problems.
Now, if only those annoying lovebirds who seemed to be everywhere making disgusting kissy sounds would keep it low enough for him to actually listen to the game's dialogue. He couldn't even tell what they were saying, because of what ''they'' were saying...
If he had bothered to actually think about it, maybe he would have noticed it was because both sets of sounds matched too much. Intelligent as he was, when he didn't focus on something, it flew way above his head...
---
Peorth's right eyebrow twitched as she watched from above. "Shouldn't... Shouldn't we try to...?"
The Almighty smiled. "No. Look at him. He's trying his best to avoid all Bad Ends. He is a completist, yet he refuses to make those under his control unhappy. Even if it would result in an one hundred percent completion. He is to be trusted with it."
Peorth was too intimidated to remind Him of how He never had any trouble with unlocking the Bad Ends.
"Well," the Almighty said, "it comes with being above good and evil..." He produced a card reading 'Omnipotent Morality License' out of His robes, in a casual, affable way.
And He read minds, too. Why did Peorth keep forgetting that? Oh yes, right, because He wanted it so. No doubt He enjoyed those reactions from her...
---
Keima was mildly disturbed by the time the scenes began becoming steamier, and bars and settings indicating an H-Mode upgrade appeared on the screen. He prided himself on being a true follower of the classic path, not a filthy eroge pervert, so he was reluctant to keep playing at first, but then, his even bigger pride of never leaving a game without finishing reasserted itself.
Since Library Island offered the best places to play hidden away from intruding eyes, he as there by the time he hit Negi's first H-event. He was utterly freaked out by the idea of anyone thinking of such a scenario, so he decided just to skip the event and keep playing at home, since it was getting late.
However, even a skipped event still technically does take place in-game, just offscreen. And so, as soon as he had left, the groans and moans of Negi with the Library Quartet (Nodoka-san, Yue-san, Haruna-san and Shiori-san) started coming from the next aisle...
---
The game also had a mind breaking amount of mini-games, which depended on the playable character being handled at the time. Tate's 'Survive the Himes' Cooking' minigame had been, Keima had to admit it, quite amusing on its own. Katsuragi had never been crazy over mini-games, but he respected them as a necessary challenge for upgrading your stats, and did his best at them.
Sitting behind a concealing bush and hunchbacked over the game, he struggled with the 'Negi vs. Chao' mini-fighting game as the madness of the other students taking part in some stupid 'Mars vs. Mages' wargame raged on across the campus. When would they learn? One of those days, someone was going to get hurt! And the childish way they staged a conflict over 'magic', when the game featured its ethical dilemmas that much better, with such compelling and well crafted poignant dialogue between Game-Negi and Game-Chao. O, for the day everyone would learn they would be much better just playing galge!
(Keima was deadset on steering events for the 'Magic is revealed' route, by the way. If his suspects were right, he'd unlock a whole new world of fantasy-style conquests! Besides, if such a thing as magic was real, he'd hate for it being hid from him. After all, magic could be used to develop so many, so much better galge, it'd have been a crime to keep it secret!)
"Otameganeeeeeee!" that annoying Chihiro girl from his class shouted at him, moments before a strip beam from one of those stupid robot things hit her. "We could use your help her-- KYYYYAAAAAA!"
"You're doing fine on your own!" he huffed, hiding deeper into the bush so the stripping robot passed over him without targeting him...
---
Keima sighed in satisfaction as all of the Festival events were finally cleared out. The others cheered as well, in their own idiotic ways, fireworks all over the Mahora sky, and an unusually large and red Mars shining over the World Tree. Keima had little use for the Mars thing, however. Right now, he was too tired. He had managed, against all hopes, not only to defeat Chao, but convince her to join the list of conquests ''and'' clear Negi-sensei from betrayal charges. What a deep, powerful storyline! But so exhausting to...
He fell asleep inside of his bush.
---
"-- preliminary treaties being reached between the UN and the coallition of governments from this so-called 'Mundus Magicus', which--" the TV news were saying.
"Keima!" his mother chided him. "I can't believe you! The biggest event in the history of mankind, and you're missing it just for that game!"
He nodded blandly. "Ah-hah. Sure. We're recording it, right? Then it's not a problem, I can... watch it later, yeah..."
These diplomatic events were very deceivingly difficult, and that was not even counting the sidestories with keeping Itou from being murdered, and how to keep Kitsu-san from attacking Itoshiki-sensei and the rest of his haremettes, and solving the Hime Game, the Rozen Maiden game AND the Holy Grail War at once without getting anyone killed. Well, maybe just the creepy priest.
All in a day of work for a God!
"Keima!" his mother said. "Are you really telling me you have no interest on this whatsoever?"
"Um, sure I do! I'm sure we can get important discoveries from that people!"
He wondered how would magically powered galge be like, actually. Well, now there was a real reason to look for the future!
Oh! He had just unlocked a whole academy of otherwordly magical girls! Beast girls! Tsundered pink haired pettanko! With Zettai Ryouki!
Life was good...
---
There it was. He gulped as he exited the academy that afternoon. After conquering every girl in every route, and even the (shockingly numerous to Keima's discomfort) gay options, the game joined all paths into a single one. And a single final event he'd have to clean through. A single misstep and all the harems would explode against each other, and all of his progresses would be lost.
He advanced in sweaty silence across the overcrowded front of the academy, oblivious to everyone much like they were oblivious to them. He didn't register the angry accusations the idiots were tossing on each other, the threats, the furious exchanges. No one was talking to him so why did he have to care? All of his attention had to be on that dangerous, delicate concentration of forces in the compliacted final 3D environment. He had to play every card carefully and with the utmost grace. He had to select every correct option, not even missing a single one. He had to calibrate his avatars' words and actions like never before, to defuse the situation before it was too late.
He had to make everyone happy.
Katsuragi Keima breathed deeply, cleared his mind into a flawless Zen state,a nd worked his divine magic. No finger on a button was wasted. His hands moved gracefully, as his fingertips pressed exactly where they had to, and the pointer clicked on every correct option. There were no doubts anymore. No hesitation. No looking back. The most epic love and friendship speech was pronounced, as the boy with no friends walked across the suddenly stunned crowd, who were staring up at the idiots talking to them, prey of a imbecilic lovesick fascination.
Keima had achieved it. He had reached the perfect ending. Manly tears overflowed from his eyes, staining his glasses, as he walked out of the school. He sniffled to himself, moved by the beauty of it all, of how he had conquered every single heart, in his no doubt greatest achievement to date. The game was complete.
Well, except for the massive H-scene that ensued, but he had no use for those, so he skipped the scene and walked down the sidewalk towards the train station, checking on the end credits instead. Bummer. They were in the same runic nonsense!
He was so distracted he failed to notice the loud sounds of ecstasy coming from behind him, and the clothes being tossed around in all directions, even when some panties landed on his head.
---
That night, Katsuragi Mari's face was stark white as she heard the news over the phone. "Oh God! Even Misato-chan? Oh, my brother will be so... Uh, Keima? N-No, Keima-kun's here! He's been here for hours!" She looked over to where her son sat on the couch going over his newest Yokkyun game. "Keima!" she called out. "You didn't notice anything... strange today at school, did you?"
"Hmm? Ah, no, no. I didn't."
Mari sighed in relief. Then she asked, "Those panties you had on your head when you arrived..."
"I told you, it must have been the wind. People tosses all sorts of crap nowadays." He kept staring at the screen.
Mari nodded before answering the phone again. "Yes. No, I'm pretty sure he hasn't. My Keima isn't that kind of boy. Well... you know him!" she sighed somewhat sadly now. "Uh-huh. Well, yeah, I'll tell him that. Thanks. Good night."
As she hung the phone, she took her glasses off, and her sweet expression became that downright fearsome one she had whenever something irritated her. "Keima," she said icily. "I'll talk with your father first, but... We're moving you away from Mahora."
Now that was sufficiently abrupt and unexpected to startle even him. "Eeeehhhhh?-! Why?-!"
"Nothing you did, dear. It's just..." And here she clenched her teeth, "There are just way too many perverts in that damn place!"
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What is the point anymore?
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Darkenning
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Aug 3 2013, 07:56 PM
Post #313
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Pervert. Also, Witch.
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... okay, you win. I'll read TWGOK ...
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"Hello! I'm Rurin, the Magical Mouse! My favorite food is cheese! My favorite pastimes are tormenting cats and facilitating romance! I have the power to bind the souls of guys who mistreat women to the depths of hell and subject them to everlasting karmic suffering! Isn't that cute? Pleased to meet you!" -- Rurin, the Magical Mouse, Magical Patissiere Kosaki-chan.
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rikalous
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Aug 3 2013, 08:12 PM
Post #314
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Creature of the Deep
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Hm. The only ways I can think of that magic would be useful for galge is hologram graphics and Turing-test-passing AI. Which are, admittedly, pretty damn big deals.
^Which is funny, because OM used to be all resistant to it.
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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Aug 3 2013, 09:50 PM
Post #315
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!
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I guarantee, it's awesome!
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I AM THE OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!!!!!!
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