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The All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread Backup Redux; In case TvTropes shuts down forums. may we never have to use this.
Topic Started: Apr 6 2012, 07:22 PM (12,391 Views)
OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Scribblenauts

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Haruna looked really disappointed.

"But... Technically, I had done it first...! With drawings, true, but that just gave it more merit...!"
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Negima Personality Test.

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Question 1- You are confronted with a shocking truth about your past and your family, shattering your prior conceptions about your whole life. What do you do?

A) Solve it off-panel with your never shown family.

B ) Make tons of wild takes and act like an idiot all day long until something else arises.

C) Wander around having long conversations on the subject with a crossover character, setting events in motion that might end up on having sex with them eventually.

D) Sulk, alienate your friends away, have sex with the most emotionally damaging person for you at the time.

E) Go beat some Gatekeepers Invaders.

F) Let Naruto solve it for you.

Question 2- You suspect the person you love the most might be more interested on someone else. What do you do?

A) Stall the issue indefinitely and never really get around to resolve it.

B ) Run around like a headless chicken.

C) Become the third wheel in their relationship, willingly submitting your will to theirs.

D) Let your spite towards that person ruin your own life and those of your friends and comrades.

E) See C, unless you are Yue. In that case, they'll just become the latest acqusitions to your harem. Despite your claims of not having one.

F) Forget them, because Naruto is far better anyway.

Question 3- You suspect someone might be out to ruin your life. Who's the first one you suspect?

A) That cloaked figure you saw once from afar.

B ) The Chupacabras.

C) The Joker.

D) Everyone else around you, so you'll show them up by acting passive agressive-agressive towards them (although in truth, it's just you sabotaging yourself, so you're only worsening it).

E) Sinestro, who no doubt has been plotting this for six years now.

F) Those damn Sasuke and Sakura. It's time to go mock and insult them.

Question Four- It's your father's birthday! What do you buy for him?

A) ... You just remembered you had a father, but you can't remember what did he like, where you have to send the gift, or how does he look, by the way.

B ) Your father is actually that annoying frog following you around, and he's satisfied with anything you give him.

C) Either D, or your father is a crossover character and you'll have to look up in Wikipedia to be sure what does he like best. Because damn, you haven't ever watched his series.

D) Have sex with him.

E) You ask your mother!

F) Forget your father, Naruto deserves your gifts and worship more.

Question Five- What do you want to be after you graduate?

A) Modest employee for a space elevator that won't be finished during your lifetime.

B ) A Bakemonogatari character.

C) Odds are you'll never graduate, since you've taken five years to reach Volume 7.

D) Drunk who dies alone and sad.

E) Power Ranger.

F) Naruto's Haremette 5,638.

Question Six- What is the Meaning of Life?

A) You are the protagonist of you own story, but that story will always be meaningless compared to Negi's.

B ) Chupa-Tees.

C) Your existence is just part of an endless cycle of reincarnations increasingly bizarre. But maybe next time you'll be born a Kryptonian!

D) Life is wonderful, but only until you randomly die after achieving little in the big scheme of things.

E) Crack.

F) Naruto.

Question Seven- What do you expect from your children?

A) To be still alive by the time they could co-star in UQ Holder.

B ) To be extras in Madoka Magica The Movie.

C) To become Z-Senshi.

D) For them to be as good in bed as your parents were.

E) To live long enough to read the final chapter of 2814.

F) To be Naruto's sex slaves.

--

Okay, kids! Rank the majority of your answers with the options below to learn what kind of Negima character you are!

Majority of A- Manga denizen. You're dead by now, though, so it doesn't matter either way.

Majority of B- SHAFT denizen. You're a shame to the franchise and fail at being a Negima character. Go die in a well.

Majority of C- Unequally denizen. Are you sure you are a Negima character?

Majority of D- Decadent denizen. Castrate yourself immediately.

Majority of E- 2814 denizen. Everything will be fun and games until the Black Lanterns kill you horribly, but relax, there'll be five decades before that!

Majority of F- Chaos Mage denizen. BULLSHIT! If you were, you wouldn't have enough brains to have filled this test!
Edited by OverMaster, Sep 9 2013, 06:36 PM.
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Which chapter has Makie and Ayaka being stripped in the cyberspace, again? I need to re-check that one for... research purposes...
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!

I love the E answers!
I AM THE OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!!!!!!
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rikalous
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^^Found it. 154.
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Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues.
My other claims to fame.
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Thank you!
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Evolution (YMMV!) of the Shinmeiryuu.

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Phase 1 (Love Hina): Curvaceous, babelicious young woman.

Phase 2 (Negima): Modest, waiflike, very flat girl.

Phase 3 (UQ Holder): Ambiguous, androgynous skinny person.

Phase 4 (Unlikely to ever be shown): Himura Kenshin.

Phase 5 (Dream On): Ishikawa Goemon.

Phase 6 (Yeah, Right): Shinmeiryuu Gurren Lagann with Universe Splitting Sword.
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Card Captor Evangeline.

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Evangeline just stared at the card.

The card, after a moment of doubt, fluttered down into Evangeline's outstretched hand with what sounded like a weak whimper of fear.

She sighed. "Honestly, Clow, even dead, you can't stop being a bloody little annoyance..."
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!

Negima and 2814!

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“Hmm…” Hakase Satomi said as she examined the stone under a microscope while Chachamaru served them tea. “Fascinating…”

“You've got no idea too, do you?” Keroberos said from a anxious Sakura's shoulder.

“Bupkiss,” Hakase said cheerfully. “Fortunately, that's what the scientific method is for! Chachamaru, the toolbox! I'll need the hammer!”

“That's been tried,” Syaoran said.

Hakase wilted slightly. “It has?”

They nodded.

“Well, time to move on then… Chachamaru! The really cool lasers and scanners!”

As the gynoid began to help her mother set up the laboratory, Syaoran looked sideways at the two girls. “Is it just me, or is everyone we visit pretty much useless?”

“Don't say that Syaoran-kun,” Sakura chided. “Everyone is doing their best!”

“Granted. I just wish their best would be good enough,” Syaoran said.

Tomoyo nodded. “'Cause here we are back where we were before,” she said with a straight face. “Seems nothing ever changes.”

Syaoran gave her a look. “Song lyrics? Really Daidouji?”

She smiled at him as Sakura looked between them in confusion. “Huh?”

There was a loud humming noise.

“All right!” Hakase declared enthusiastically. “Lasers ready. Let's do this! FOR SCIENCE!”

Syaoran found the way Chachamaru was carrying the back-mounted fire extinguisher to be fairly ominous.

………………………………….


There was an anti-climactic lack of explosions. Somehow, Syaoran felt cheated.

“All right!” Hakase said after a round of materials tests. “Pretty interesting rock you've got here. Nothing we have in the lab so much as scratched it, it's hard enough to scratch diamond and everything else we managed to put in front of it. It also seems to have both super-conductive and super-insulator properties, and I'm still trying to work out how we managed to get that on the same test, but it kept repeating when we reset, so we wrote it down. We're still waiting on the results of the electron microscope.”

“Anything on it's magical properties?” Syaoran asked, staring down at the graphs and figures. He was good at math, but this wasn't math. At least, no form of it that made sense to him. Daidouji, damn her, seemed to be drinking it in.

Hakase shook her head. “Ever since Chao left, we haven't been equipped to handle that stuff,” she said. She sighed. “Club funding keeps being sent to baton twirlers, painters and creative writers. Damn the humanities for crippling scientific progress!”

“I twirl a baton,” Sakura said, sounding a bit hurt and making Tomoyo glance up from her papers, eyeing Hakase with a dark gleam in her eye promising ominous things.

“And I'm sure you do it well,” Hakase said. “I hope it gives you comfort while mankind's scientific progress grounds to a halt under the lash of beauty pageants, reality TV and pop idols. I'd be something else if they were impartial. For some reason I can't fathom, moral and performance seems to increase among males and some females when girls in short skirts and tight tops wave pompoms and do high kicks around them, but alas, the cheerleaders only have time for sports teams. Don't they realize that, say, the rocket propulsion lab could use the morale boost more, and for greater benefit to mankind?”

Syaoran found it in him to pray for this doomed soul as Sakura slumped even more.

“Mother, isn't Sakurako-san a cheerleader?” Chachamaru pointed out.

Hakase gave her a blank look. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“May I recommend you never bring up this argument around her?” Chachamaru said. “I'm lacking in first-hand experience, but according to empirical data from sitcoms, you statements, should they ever reach her, will land you in the metaphorical 'dog house'.”

Hakase blinked in confusion. “Why would it?”

“Unknown, but empirical evidence suggests a correlation,” Chachamaru said.

Hakase waved a hand. “Oh, you shouldn't believe everything you see on TV, Chachamaru. Especially not on sticoms.”

Tomoyo smiled very beatifically. Syaoran wondered whether he should do something… hen decided against it. She'd made Sakura feel bad, after all.
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rikalous
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Creature of the Deep

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I hope it gives you comfort while mankind's scientific progress grinds to a halt
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Then decided against it. She'd made Sakura feel bad, after all.
Let's Watch Nanoha
Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues.
My other claims to fame.
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!

I'm planing a brick joke where the Mahora contingent to a Science Fair or something show up with cheerleaders...
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rikalous
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Sounds more likely to me than Sakurako getting pissed at her for some reason.
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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Oh, definitely. But to try and appease her, Sakura cheers at her next presentation...
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OverMaster
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Loss.

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Kuromaru and Touta still were sparring by the time Yukihime returned to the camp from the town, holding several bags of supplies. "We're having a detour, " she calmly announced. "I have been checking on a few old acquaitances, and I learned Naba Chizuru has died. Her body was stolen from the grave a week ago, two days after her burial."

Touta blinked. "Who was Naba Chizuru?"

Kuromaru looked at him. "Don't tell me you really don't know! She was one of Ala Alba's biggest political and financial supporters!"

"Oh, another friend of Grandpa!" the short haired boy slammed a fist on a palm, ith a whimsically naive air about him. "Did you ever meet her—"

"Yes, I did, " Yukihime interrupted. "By now, it's only down to me, Yukihiro and Tatsumiya. And in a way, Kagurazaka and Lingshen too. Pick your things up and let's make haste. We're heading to Mahora right now."

"Mahora!" Touta whistled.

"Mahora?" a perplexed Kuromaru echoed. "But why? Since the incident of 2037, no one—"

"I know, " Yukihime replied. "That's why we're going there."

—-

For decades now, Mahora had been a dead place. Very few plants grew there anymore, and animals in general tended to avoid the huge stretch of land. Only the gigantic tree in the middle of it all still stood healthy and majestic as ever. The rest of the academy was the creepiest place Touta had ever been at, and he could tell Kuromaru was highly uneasy there as well, despite his stoic facade.

Slipping in under the noses of the heavily armed guard posts around the academy's perimeter had been easy, and now the three headed deep into the deadly silent main building, led by a quiet and thoughtful Yukihime. She finally stopped before a door at the end of a hall, looking at it with a strange, fixed expression for a moment. Touta and Kuromaru paid closer attention, and they shuddered hearing a soft, polite voice coming from the inside. It was a small boy's voice, apparently giving a lecture in English.

Yukihime grunted and kicked the door open.

Touta followed her in quickly, and he gasped at what he saw inside. A short boy with dark red hair, wearing black shoes, a green suit and red tie, stood before a classroom of what at first seemed a collection of highly lifelike dolls. It was only moments later Touta and the swordsboy with him realized those figures in the seats were dead bodies, preserved through magic, as they had been in the moments of their deaths, or repaired in the cases of those who had suffered violent demises. Some of them looked very old. Others had obviously perished while still far too young. All of them, regardless of their age, had been clothed with school uniforms from more than fifty years ago. One of them was, from the photos in Touta's house, his own grandmother. Only five seats remained empty, with a small pale doll tking the only one not occupied by a dead body.

The small boy turned his neck around slowly, too slowly, to look at them with a vacant, wide smile. "Ah, welcome! Can we help y— Oh, Evangeline-san, it's you!" he realized after a few moments of staring stupidly at Yukihime's face. "But why are you breaking the dress cod—"

"Boya, " she snarled. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"Ah? I don't know what are you talking about, Evangeline-san? Who are these two—"

"He's Touta. Remember Touta? Konoka's grandson!"

Touta gasped. "Uh, what?" Putting two and two together, he gasped again. "Wait, don't tell me he's—!"

His mentor growled. "Like myself, he's eternity trapped in a child's body. We believed he would age to some point. We were wrong."

The small boy looked puzzled. "Konoka's grandson? Oh, Mast— Evangeline-san, there must be a confusion here! Konoka's still only fifteen! But, if you two want to study at Mahora, you'll have to ask Headmaster..." his voice trailed off as Touta looked at his face, trying to find some similarities with that of the old man he knew, "... Konoe..."

Negi Springfield fell silent, turned around, and sat behind his desk, burying his face into his hands.

"Ayaka begged me to come, just like always. To talk you out of this, to make you react. I know it's folly, " Evangeline said, "But I cannot deny an old woman what might be her last—"

"Don't call her Ayaka!" Negi shouted. "You never called her anything but Iinchou!"

"Boya, I didn't help you fake your death just so you buried yourself into this coffin!" the blonde shouted. "What happened to walking ahead? To follow the light? To march towards the future—"

"THIS IS THE FUTURE!" the boy yelled back, standing back up violently and gesturing towards the dead bodies. "They all walked with me, and look at them now! LOOK WHERE I LED THEM!"

"Everyone dies! Everyone would have died eventually, whether you—!"

"No! You, best of everyone, should know not everyone dies! We don't! And God knows I tried! I even used the Ninth spell on myself! Nothing worked! Nothing took me with them, and nothing brought them back to me! Why didn't we share our gift with them when we could? We didn't, and it became our curse and theirs! All because of our grotesque, stupid arrogance and egoism, our—"

"They didn't want to!"

"They didn't know any better! That's why I was their teacher! To guide them! To make sure they learned about the rights and wrongs! But I only, I only made them waste their lives! How many of them ever married? How many of them had children of their own? I can count them with a hand! All of them devoted themselves to MY dreams! And look... look how much it did for them..." he cried, shaking his head to himself.

After several moments of silence, Yukihime said, "Your project is working fine now..."

"I can't care anymore."

"That's what most of these devoted their lives to. It wasn't just your dream, but theirs. Respect that, Boya."

"Please, " he begged, "If you aren't going to learn, just leave so we can continue our class. Go ahead, skip classes again, just like always. You always have been a problem child..."

"Don't act spoiled with me!" she slapped him, though he didn't react. "You never were this much a pathetic sod!"

"That would be, " Negi calmly said, "Because they lived then."

"Others live right now. And others will live after them, too."

"And I'm glad for them. I really am. But I won't stand seeing them dying, one after another, like I did with the— Sorry, but I don't have your heart of stone, Master."

More silence ensued.

"I have made him immortal, " Yukihime said.

Negi said nothing, slumped down on himself.

"I'll keep bringing him when it's Ayaka's turn. And Mana's. And maybe, assuming you ever want to pull your head out of this graveyard, we'll go together to greet Asuna."

Negi only nodded, with a terribly sad but also grateful expression.

Yukihime nodded back, turned around, and began leading her travel companions out with her.

For a moment after the door closed behind them, they remained there, waiting, until the sobs of the small boy ceased and his voice picked up cheerily. "Now please open your books in Page Thirty Nine..."

—-

"Boya was always too much of a perfectionist, that was his problem, " Yukihime said as they left the building behind. "He could leave no loose ends, and he couldn't be satisfied if he didn't help everyone, solve every problem, save all those under his care. He always had been able to function properly in society, masking his pain, but... last year, he finally broke down. That's why I had to leave him here. Reliving the happiest days of his life, before his life became everyone else's instead. In a sense, it's my own fault. Much like all other adults in his life, I encouraged him to keep following his dreams no matter what. And having dreams is fine, but when you do nothing but pursuing dreams, you end up living in a dream yourself. And then you never can wake up."

Touta only could nod, looking far more somber than he had been before.

"We must, " Kuromaru philosophized, "learn how to cope and leave things and people behind, don't we? Or else, we, too, will become just like that. But by doing so, won't we eventually stop caring altogether? Won't we become distant monsters?"

"It depends on your viewpoint, I suppose, " Evangeline shrugged. Then she lifted a hand, whispered a spell, and snow began falling over Mahora.

She smiled softly.

"Let me tell you about those Christmas we all spent together here. Indulging into the past is fine, as long as it's only every once in a while..."
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rikalous
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Creature of the Deep

Congratulations. You came up with something more sad than him actually dying.
Let's Watch Nanoha
Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues.
My other claims to fame.
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