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The All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread Backup Redux; In case TvTropes shuts down forums. may we never have to use this.
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Topic Started: Apr 6 2012, 07:22 PM (12,385 Views)
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OverMaster
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Jan 25 2014, 01:51 PM
Post #436
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Oboy. Whee.
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Two Girls, One Cup.
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"How did we come to this?" Fuuka asked.
"Well, " Fumika answered, "as I recall it, you were saying me this was a cool, nice and quiet place for a date, and—"
"I know that!" Fuuka grew exasperated. "Don't start blaming it on me! After all, how could I ever know—" and she angrily gestured towards the cup between them, on their table, "— THEY ONLY HAD ENOUGH FOR A SINGLE MORE CUP OF LATTE! The service here sucks! Haruna will pay for suggesting it to me!"
Fumika then gave the camera a side glance. "Hm? And what were you guys expecting?"
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jan 27 2014, 02:59 PM
Post #437
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Oboy. Whee.
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Negi Springfield: Riverdale High Teacher.
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"Oh, Professor!" Betty tugged on Negi's right arm. "Make the Pactio with me first!"
"What? No!" Veronica quickly tugged on Negi's left arm. "I was asked first, so I go first! That's it! End of the story!"
"What are you saying? I never heard him asking you that!"
"Of course not! Like he'd say such an important, private thing before someone who has nothing to do with this!"
"You're just making that up! When will you learn?!"
"Are you calling me a liar?!"
"Do I need to? Everyone knows you are!"
Evangeline blandly looked back and forth at them and the protesting Negi, then sat down. "On second thought, I'll just wait until you're done with him, and THEN drain his corpse dry."
"Evangeline! HELP!!!" Negi ended up crying.
—-
"... girls are just so weird, aren't they, " Kotaro said as he kept on chomping on hambugers.
"You said it, lil' pal!" Jughead sagely nodded between large mouthfuls. "Hey, don't look now, but Hotdog's sniffing your butt... You know, you don't have to sniff his back..."
—-
Negi looked up at where a cackling Alexandra Cabbot held Sabrina prisoner, drawing on her power to keep the towering demon looming over Riverdale under her control. "— maybe I should have accepted that job offer at Japan instead, no matter what the diploma said. These things never happen in Japan..."
Betty gave him a mildly shocked side glare. "That was quite out of character for you, Professor!"
"I can't help it! Here in America, you keep changing writers all the time! I miss when I had a consistent characterization, and Jughead and Kotaro didn't have those mohawks!"
"It's only a stage guaranteed to be short, " Jughead shrugged.
—-
"So... how long have you been around, anyway?" asked Touta.
The orange haired freckled boy smiled. "1940."
"And... what's the source of your immortality?" asked Kuromaru.
"Comic Book Time."
"What's that?" asked Touta.
"I don't know myself."
"Uh-huh. And what powers do you have?"
"None, other than the mysterious ability to have normally strong and independent females gravitating around me despite my lacks of any remarkable personality traits, wealth, or powerful masculine physical appeal!"
"How does that work?" asked Touta.
"Stop being so nosy, Boya, " Yukihime snorted from where she remained under Archie's right arm, a stone-faced Karin under the left one. Kuromaru's knees were starting to feel weak...
—-
Negi still hadn't decided between Betty and Veronica by then, by the way.
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jan 27 2014, 07:07 PM
Post #438
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Oboy. Whee.
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Book Before Jumping.
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Hayate stared, bewildered, at the four figures standing before her wheelchair.
The pale black haired girl with the valiant posture and the sword rasped softly. "We are the Wolkenritter, guardians of the Book of Darkness, bound to it since a long gone era. This is Konoka-Ojou-sama, healer and mage..."
"Call me Kono-chan!"
"This is Evangeline-sama, Dark Knight of the Unending Night..."
"Oh, I get it, I'm here because I am the loli-looking one with the harsh temper, hah-hah-hah. Remind me killing my agent."
"Ahem. This is Kotaro, the Guardian Beast..."
"Yo."
"And I'm Setsuna, humble Knight of the Sword. From now on, we live to serve you. Well, technically, I live to serve Konoka-Ojou-sama, who in turn lives to serve you, but same difference..."
"Call me Kono-chan!!"
Hayate blinked. "... okay..."
---
Naturally, Nanoha and Fate never stood a chance, but it was okay, because the Book of Darkness was Albireo, so he only was trying to troll everyone...
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Jan 30 2014, 07:27 PM
Post #439
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Oboy. Whee.
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Top Ten Best Possible Off-Panel Ways the Lifemaker could have been Defeated.
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10. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by Makie, Bubbles, Melody Valentine and Pinkie Pie."
9. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by those three other kids who graduated with Negi and Anya... a shame no one can ever remember their names..."
8. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by explosive diarrhea."
7. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by Touta. Because he was awesome like that, got it already?"
6. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by Batman, who was from another company, but who cares, because Batman."
5. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by Chamo. He never sould have destroyed that underwear stash."
4. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by Tama the Turtle."
3. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by the greatest evil in the Akamatsuverse— the photographers from Negimaru."
2. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by the REAL greatest evil in the Akamatsuverse— GUST."
1. "— and so, the Lifemaker was defeated by an evil trascending the Akamatsuverse— Kodansha's legal department."
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Feb 5 2014, 09:39 AM
Post #440
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Oboy. Whee.
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How the Mars versus Earth War Started.
"Your Majesty, your Honor, " Jinbei said then. "On behalf of our organization, I would like allowing our youngest member speak, since he, after all, represents the future we are all striving for."
The assembled representatives of Mundus Magicus and Mundus Vetus looked at each other, then nodded. "Very well, we see no problem with that. Konoe Touta, please step up."
The boy marched ahead confidently. After so many battles, UQ Holder was finally on the brink of bringing everlasting peace and end the tensions between the worlds. Surely Yukihime would be proud! And he'd give a speech for the ages!
At the seats of UQ Holder, Karin whispered urgently to Jinbei. "Director, are you sure about this? It's Touta! He's the last one of us who should be giving a public speech about politics, and that includes Evangeline-sama!"
The man smiled good-naturedly. "Oh, Karin-kun, calm down. After all, what's the worst thing he could end up saying?"
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Memories.
Asuna rubbed the tears off her eyes as she looked through the pictures her friends had left for her in the time capsule. Natsumi and Kotaro's wedding. Yue and Nodoka working in the elevator project. Mana and Kaede fighting yet again. Negi screwing Chachamaru... ehhhh, was it supposed to happen that way? Never mind...
Then she found the subsequent newspaper and magazine articles.
Massive Cooling Kills Millions! New Ice Age!
Massive Global Warming Kills Even More Millions! Out of the Freezer and onto the Frying Pan!
Poverty Spreads Around the World!
Japan Overridden by Slums and Ghettos!
Thanks a Fucking Lot, Ala Alba!
"..." she said.
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What is the point anymore?
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kage15oni
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Feb 6 2014, 05:32 AM
Post #441
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Peasant
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- OverMaster
- Jan 30 2014, 07:27 PM
GUST
What is gust?
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OverMaster
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Feb 16 2014, 08:45 AM
Post #442
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Oboy. Whee.
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A factory of horrors.
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The Humblest Creatures.
Negi looked curiously at the fair skinned Chinese girl in his new class. "Lingshen-san... right?" he asked, approaching her desk. "What's wrong, is there something the matt—"
Chao coughed up three lungfuls of blood, made a few weak "Ulla, ulla" sounds, and then, much to everyone's horror, fell facefirst on her desk, dead.
Slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which her systems were unprepared; slain by the humblest things that Akamatsu, in the wisdom he had until Volume 34, had put upon his earth. There will be no bacteria in the future Mars, annihilated by waves after waves of destructive and then healing magic, and when directly that traveler arrived, directly she drank and fed, our microscopic allies began to work her overthrow. Already when Satsuki and Ku met her she was irrevocably doomed, dying and rotting even as she went to and fro. It was inevitable. By the toll of a billion deaths the muggle has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his were the Future Martians ten times as mighty as they are. Which they will be, but I digress. For neither do muggles live nor die in vain.
Chao lifted her face from the desk. "Wait a minute, I'm a genius-yo! Surely I should have expected and prepared for—"
Shut up, you're dead!
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What is the point anymore?
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Darkenning
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Feb 16 2014, 01:07 PM
Post #443
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Pervert. Also, Witch.
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- kage15oni
- Feb 6 2014, 05:32 AM
- OverMaster
- Jan 30 2014, 07:27 PM
GUST
What is gust? Pornographic doujin makers notable for giving every girl they feature huge breasts and creepy smiles.
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"Hello! I'm Rurin, the Magical Mouse! My favorite food is cheese! My favorite pastimes are tormenting cats and facilitating romance! I have the power to bind the souls of guys who mistreat women to the depths of hell and subject them to everlasting karmic suffering! Isn't that cute? Pleased to meet you!" -- Rurin, the Magical Mouse, Magical Patissiere Kosaki-chan.
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OverMaster
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Feb 16 2014, 01:40 PM
Post #444
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Oboy. Whee.
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Creepy, vacant, soulless smiles...
(Weeps).
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Feb 17 2014, 09:30 AM
Post #445
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Oboy. Whee.
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Thirty One Clown Princesses in Amber.
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Driving Forces.
It had been decided, on a whim like always, the girls were old enough to drive. And since none of the instructors they had hired and then kidnapped had lived long enough to complete their learning, the teaching task only could fall on one man.
As Chachamaru parked the Jokermobile safely before the fair grounds, where everyone stood expectantly, the Clown Prince smacked her across the head with his notebook. Of course, she didn't even flinch.
"What kind of lousy driver are you?" he growled. "State-of-the-art motion sensors, radars and homing systems, and you still couldn't hit a single innocent bystander or cop! Not even grazing a single one!"
"I suppose I am not fit for it, " Chachamaru spoke quietly.
He sighed, then motioned for her to get down. "Makie! Your turn!"
"Yayyyy!" the pink haired Jokerette merrily skipped towards the car. "I'm a big girl now!"
Three hours later, the Jokermobile returned in a really sorry state, missing a wheel and careening to a precarious halt before the family. Either someone had given its wrecked carcass a thorough red paint job, or...
A beaten, black eyed, shaky and whimpering Joker crawled on all fours out of the vehicle. The girls had never seen him paling, and they didn't even think possible he could go whiter than he already was, but as he was now, you could see the veins and arteries in full detail under his nearly transparent skin. "So beautiful—" a lovestruck Yuuna whispered, earning her an evil glare from Harley.
"You...!" Joker pointed at the happy looking, untouched Makie. "Spawn of Satan! Demon on wheels! You are unfit to ever sit behind a driving wheel! Why you, inhuman, deranged danger to all of mankind!"
"Wheeee, praise!" Makie threw her arms up. "Let's do it again! Playing Wacky Races with Robin-kun is SO FUN!"
Somewhere else in the city, the Batmobile remained stuck in a hole on a wall, Batman and Robin-kun sitting eerily quiet inside, only occasionally agitated by random twitchings. There was a grotesquely long trail of destruction behind them.
"I think I'll walk back home, " Negi finally said.
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What is the point anymore?
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Shadow Crystal Mage
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Feb 17 2014, 07:29 PM
Post #446
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OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!
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On the UQ Holder front, I've been wondering... Do you think Kuromaru's clan might have something to do with Ystin from Demon Knights?
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I AM THE OVERLORD OF ALL CRACK!!!!!!
  wwwtorcom/images/stories/blogs/12_09/wot_fb_mat.jpg
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OverMaster
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Feb 17 2014, 07:46 PM
Post #447
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Oboy. Whee.
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Thirty One Clown Princesses in Amber.
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Driving Ambitions.
"Joker!" Batman growled as he made his great entrance through the skylight of the First Gotham Bank, with Robin dropping shortly behind him. "You'll go back to Arkham now, you maniac!"
"He needs some new material urgently, " Asuna opined.
"Oh, hey, Robin-kun!" Haruna waved. "Is that protection padding in your green man-panties, or are you finally starting to gro—"
"Ahem!" Joker rasped, then cackled evilly. "Batman, darling! Nice to see you drop by conveniently outnumbered! Your stubborn refusal to do the math is simply so charming..."
"They didn't come alone, ya nut!" another boy dropped down from the roof, kicking him in the face.
"Ah! Nightwing-kun!" Natsumi cried.
"I've told you one hundred times, my name's Nightwolf!" Nightwing protested.
"Setsuna!" Batgirl jumped in through a wall, pulling her swords out. "Your path of bloody mania stops tonight, right here!"
One of the safety boxes exploded torn from the inside by tendrils of darkness, and from it rose a curvy figure who laughed "Oh ho ho! Don't forget the Huntress, Apostle of Grim Urban Justice! And her loyal junior partner... Spoiler!"
Behind her, Mei tried to fix her costume back as best as she could without calling attention onto herself. They had to something while waiting in there, after all.
"I'm Azrael, the Avenger Angel! The Emissary of Holy Death!" another caped vigilante announced, making an entrance from the back. He grandly postured as a flaming knife popped out of his right sleeve, then his long and overly elaborate cape caught on his left foot, and he fell flat on his face.
Everyone looked at him.
"Who are you?" Chizuru asked.
"I think he fell on his knife..." Huntress looked over, noticing the small pool of blood flowing from under the man.
Said man quickly got up and ran away crying. "I'M IN DESPAIR! MY FAILURE AS A GRIM AND GRITTY ANGSTY LEFTOVER FROM THE NINETIES HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"
"Shouldn't we follow him to make sure he gets the medical attention he surely ne—" Negi began.
Huntress pointed the other way. "Forget that, they're escaping!"
"I know I'm bad at math, but I'm sure we still outnumber them!" Asuna complained as she ran after the others.
"Screw it, at this rate soon Superman and the Teen Titans will be here too!" Misora said from her comfortable lead, Cocone riding her shoulders. She screeched to a halt on the sidewalk. "The getaway car! Who's with the getaway car?-!"
"Let's see..." Chizuru hummed. "Satsuki and Zazie stayed home, Eva and Chachamaru are off doing their own thing again, Chao is still taking over Belle Reve from the inside, and the rest of us is here, so that leaves..."
The car came roaring out of the shadows then, honks at full, spiralling into a violent halt that scared everyone, making a terrifying auditive mayhem over which the disturbing little giggles punctuated the air in a way that would chill anyone's blood.
Yue gulped, with Nodoka cowering behind her. And Haruna behind Nodoka, in turn. "Ahhhh... Maki-chan... Nice... to see you here."
Eerily, Makie looked at them from the driver's seat of the badly beaten Jokermobile. "Jump in, guys... you know there's room for everyone in a clown car! I'll driiiii-iiiiive!"
Joker frowned. "What? No! I will drive!"
Makie looked fixedly at him, then sing-sang, in a pants-wetting sweet tone accompanied by an unnatural black and pink aura. "Noooooooooooo! I loooove driving...!"
Joker froze in place before turning around and offering his hands to Batman, who in turn had frozen at the doors of the bank. "We surrender." Eager nods abounded from his gang.
"Ah! You meanies!" Makie whined.
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Feb 18 2014, 06:09 PM
Post #448
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Oboy. Whee.
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Reservoir Bakas.
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"Right now, it's a matter of business, " Evangeline told them. "With the exception of Chachamaru and myself, whom you already know, we're going to be using aliases on this job. Under no circumstances do I want any one of you to relate to each other by your Buddhsit or Shinto or Christian or Mundus Magicus or whatever names, and I don't want any talk about yourself personally. That includes where you been, your underage teacher's name, where you might've done detention, or maybe a hot springs you robbed in Hinata Town. All I want you girls to talk about, if you have to, is what you're going to do. That should do it. Here are your names... Miss Red, Miss Yellow, Miss Black, Miss Blue, and Miss Pink."
"Why am I Miss Pink?" Makie whined.
"Because you like pink?"
"Fair enough, " Makie conceded.
"Why can't we pick our own colors-aru? Miss Yellow is a bit too close to Miss Coward!"
Somewhere else, Misora sneezed.
Evangeline shook her head. "No way, no way. Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four girls all fighting over who's gonna be Miss Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Miss Yellow."
"So I lucked out?" Yue wondered. "What's so good about being Miss Black? Shouldn't she be Miss Black?"
Ku Fei narrowed her eyes. "Isn't that a racist comment-aru?"
"Shouldn't she be Miss Brown in any case?" Miss Red scratched her head.
"Miss Brown sounds like Miss Crap!" Ku Fei protested.
Kaede rubbed her chin. "Miss Blue sounds like Miss Depressed. How 'bout if this one is Miss Purple? That sounds good to this one. This one'll be Miss Purple-de gozaru."
"You're not Miss Purple, " Evangeline growled. "Some girl on some other job is Miss Purple. You're Miss Blue!"
"Who cares what your name is?" asked Asuna.
Makie pouted. "Yeah, that's easy for your to say, you're Miss Red. You have a cool-sounding name. The red one is always the leader!"
Asuna smiled. "Damn straight!"
"Alright look, if it's no big deal to be Miss Pink, you wanna trade?"
Evangeline exploded. "Hey! NOBODY'S trading with ANYBODY. This ain't a goddamn, fucking school council meeting, you know. Now listen up, Miss Pink. There's two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. And you're supposed to like the color, you idiot! It's the fucking color of your fucking hair, and that stupid lunchbox you brought along and your Pinkie Pie fucking keychain! Now what's it gonna be, Miss Pink?"
"Which one was I, again?" Miss Yellow asked.
"I've told you you're Miss Pu— Nice try, Miss Yellow. Nice try."
"It was worth a shot..."
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What is the point anymore?
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OverMaster
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Feb 26 2014, 06:41 PM
Post #449
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Oboy. Whee.
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La Resistance.
- Quote:
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After he had finished sputtering, gagging, making whining sounds, choking and successfully fighting fainting, Negi, his face still fully red, cried, "Wh-What... What is the meaning of this?-! Why are you all...?-!"
The Class Representative stepped ahead proudly, bashing a hand on her own chest, which bounced slightly. "We, Class 2-A, are part of Nudist Beach, a noble organization out to free Mahora Academy from the evil, merciless rule of School Council President Kiryuuin Satsuki, Professor!"
"As opposed to nice, beloved Yotsuba Satsuki here, " the short slim girl with short pink hair who didn't have a twin pointed at the plump, gently smiling classmate next to her. "Just in case. Somehow, people STILL tends to mix them up!"
Negi stared in befuddled, ashamed shock at the gathering of girls wearing nothing but gun holders, black boots, and bracelets. "Fine, as long as you keep it an extracurricular activity, " he sighed in defeat. "Now open your Neo Horizon books in Page Eight..."
At least he wouldn't have to worry about his sneezes for a while.
—-
"What do you mean my father co-founded THAT...?-!" Negi cried.
Rakan chuckled, hands on his hips and pixellated long thick glory in full display. "Yes! Ala Rubra was, in truth, the first ever wing of Nudist Beach Nagi and Matoi Isshin created! You'll see, kid, the true enemy goes far beyond Kiryuuin-chan or Fate. Back when the Lifemaker possessed Kiryuuin Ragyou, Kiryuuin-chan's mother, Nagi decided the only way we could fight his newly created Divine Cloths was by—"
Negi tossed his hands up, turned around and began walking away. "I don't mind being stabbed with rock spears, being pummeled into bloody pulp, or being framed and hunted dead or alive, but I like my pants where they are! I'm going home!"
"— after him," Haruna hissed.
And the chase was on.
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What is the point anymore?
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rikalous
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Feb 26 2014, 08:56 PM
Post #450
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Creature of the Deep
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Negi would be the worst nightmare of any group that fights using phlebotinum clothing.
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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