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Unequally Rational And Emotional Thread; It's Negima with Everything Else Added!
Topic Started: Apr 15 2012, 06:40 PM (11,727 Views)
OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Unlimited Wardrobe Works

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"Clothes?" the strange pink haired girl asked. What was with pink haired girls anyway? Yue wondered. Why they always seemed to be cute and friendly but so dim? "I don't need putting on clothes?"

Yue tried to reach for her cellphone, being extra careful of not grabbing any tails this time. "That's nice. I'm sure the police will love hearing about it..."

"No, no, I mean I don't need pulling clothes on the way you do!" she laughed. "Peke can do that for me!"

Yue made a very cute tiny frown. "Who's Peke?"

"I'm Peke!" the round white ornament on Lala's hair spoke with the same odd voice. yue almost felt tempted to poke it to see how it worked. "An All Purpose Robotic Dressing Lifeform created by Lady Lala!"

"Robotic?" Yue echoed.

Lala poked the thingy with a finger. "I leave it in your hands, Peke!"

"Understood!" it said. "Change to Dress Form! Type A!"

It shone in blinding white, enveloping Lala's curvy body with abundance of spectacular stock Mahou Shoujo light effects. Yue had to admit it was an impressive show, although the way Lala let out two long moans during it kind of pushed it all into disturbing territory for Yue's standards.

And then it was over as soon as it had started, and Lala stood there in an extravagant and mostly skintight dark blue and white ensemble, with tall white boots and a puffy round white hat on her head. With black bat wings.

"...!" Yue said. Even that dumb Chiu Internet Idol Haruna checked on ocassionally wouldn't be found putting on something that ridiculous, ever.

Lala giggled and twirled around, posing for Yue and making sure to thrust her butt up as she did so. "Then? What do think?"

"It's... out of this world, " Yue commented blandly. Mentally, she added, And this world had been lucky so far. "Now can it dress Rito-sempai up, too?"

"Sorry, but Peke only can supply clothes for one person at a time, " Lala apologized. "But I can take him off and place him on Rito if you want so!"

"Would that strip you down again?" asked Yue.

"Yes."

"Then forget it. He's an Earthling, he'll dress up the Earthling way. I think some of Haruna's might fit him..."

Run was looking at Rito's prone bare body with a goofy grin on, eyeing his butt more than anything else. "Ah, is there any hurry...?"

"Yes!" Yue barked, hastily gathering the baggiest of Paru's clothes and dumping them onto Rito's body, trying her best not to look at him. But yeah, he had a nice butt all the same. She blushed and finished her labor by placing a blanket all over him, from neck to legs, before sitting down at his right and patting his cheeks. "Sempai. Sempai! It's me, Yue. Wake up already!"

He blinked, slowly regaining his wits. "Ah? D-Duh? You are you? Yuu? Me am Yue? Yue am me—" then he noticed he was still naked, although covered, and his skin crawled again. "YAAA—"

Yue clamped a hand over his mouth before the scream could fully come out. "Listen, " she whispered. "Lala-san has given me an overall feeling of the situation. Since it seems it isn't your fault, I won't kill you, since I'm not a Tsundere anime lead. On the other hand, if you scream like a not sufficiently feminine girl again, and you attract Nitta-sensei here, I will kill you. So I suggest you to calm down, dress up under that blanket, and then we'll rationally discuss this subject as civilized beings who hopefully won't kill each other. Right?"

He nodded helplessly, looking at her with panic filled eyes.

Yue half smiled and let his mouth go. "Good boy. If nothing else, Haruna has trained you well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rito weakly whined.

Lala gushed again. "Ah, that's great! Diplomacy and intimdation are two great weapons any Deviluke royal consort must display, AYASE YUE!" she still pronounced her name the way Yue had first yelled it.

Yue just looked up and down at her in a jaded way. "So, you really invented that Peke device?"

"Yes!"

"And the other artifact that transported you three here?"

"Indeed!"

"All by yourself?"

"Well, I've been inventing things for fun since I was four. Everyone in my family says that's my special talent!"

Yue blinked slow, very slowly. "I see... Don't you ever invent things that don't either strip down or dress up people?"

"Sure I do! What do you want? I can get you robot bodyguards, a machine of infinite motion, a 3D home video system, a flying palace, intelligent snowboards, a snowing machine, a thunderstorm machine, Doomsday devices, Doomsday clones, robotic Doomsdays, Doombots, a machine to clone Harry Potter characters, X-Ray glasses, piranha powder, instant Martians, a laser to blow Venus up if it obstructs your view of Mercury, the ultimate frisbee, intelligence enhancers, liquor that doesn't get you drunk and makes you 100% more beautiful, the ultimate consolato—"

Yue gestured with a slightly shaky hand. "That's all great, and thanks, Lala-san, but we should discuss the exact details of this first..."

Dear Plato, so that's what happened when Makie and Hakase had a daughter?
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shanejayell
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Heh! :lol:
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http://www.fanfiction.net/~shanejayell
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shanejayell_fanfiction
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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See? Creepy Old Man is the only thing Darkenning lets me call him. Or at least the only thing he hasn't actively tried to shoot down.

Also, totally saw the Lala/Makie comparison coming.
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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OverMaster
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The Demon in the Details

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Lake Biwa:

The twin altars were set, and there was a strangely beautiful blond woman attached to a large platform between them. That was the first thing Konoe Konoka, Maga Alba, saw when she could finally open her heavy eyes, the effects of the dart's drug subsiding at long last. The other Konoka still slept at the altar across her. Her hands, much like her own, were tied together with paper seals binding them. There was another seal sheet on each of their throats. They were wearing thin white robes and nothing else. The situation was pretty much what she had dreaded, but seeing that blond woman there was a factor she'd never imagined. What was going on there?

There was a stretch of tape covering her mouth; she tried to bite through it, to no avail. By the position of the full moon in the sky, it was around 10:00 P.M. Maga Alba took note of every detail in her mind, since any of them could be important later.

Chigusa was standing near, with her back turned to them, making gestures with her arms and muttering incantations that sounded a lot like some of Evangeline's spells, although no power seemed to be coming out of her. Her assembled forces stood before her, and while Konoka couldn't recognize most of them, she could see Kotaro and Sextum between them. But one face was notorious by her absence. Where was—

"Oh, you're awake, " an all too familiar voice crooned from behind her. Konoka pulled her head back as much as she could, tilting her eyes to look at a smiling Tsukuyomi, surrounded by a boy and a girl, twins, in elaborate black Gothic clothes. She carried a massive gun no doubt Mana would have drooled after, and he was holding an axe. If anything, their smiles were even more unnerving than Tsukuyomi's.

Konoka frowned and made her best to express her displeasure. "Hmmph! Hmph, hmph hmmmph!"

"Oh?" Tsukuyomi tilted her head aside. "I'm afraid I can't understand you, Other Hime-sama. Don't worry, I'll give a better use to your tongue later on. For now, relax and enjoy the show! Oneesama and her... copycat will be joining us soon." Scanning Maga Alba's body with her sight, she chuckled. "Fu, fu fu... I think I get it, to a point. She is to you what Onee-sama is to Hime-sama, isn't she? This is like having so much candy to eat, you end up with a stomach ache. I think I'll keep you, but I can't swear the same about your guardian. There's only Onee-sama for me..."

Chigusa was pausing now, breathing heavily. "That should suffice for now. I can leave Mc Dowell-sama running things on her own now. In the meanwhile, " she sighed, fixing her silky black hair back, "Let's see what else we can do with all this new power. A takeover is always better when you show up with an army!"

She turned back to the Konokas and smiled when she saw Maga Alba conscious. "Oh, welcome back, Ojou-sama. I look forward to your explanations about the mystery of your existence itself. But first, forgive me, but I shall take a little of your power and hers, " she vaguely gestured for the other Konoka before snapping her fingers. The wards on their necks activated, and Maga Alba found out it hurt as much as the first time. The local Konoka woke up abruptly, rattled by the pain, opening her eyes wide in primal terror.

Several dozens and dozens of large round spots of light appeared all around the lake, on rocky, sandy and grassy ground, multiplying themselves at breakneck speed. Maga Alba recognized the pattern, but they hadn't been that many when she was kidnapped at her homeworld! Despite herself, she felt an icy shudder run up her spine, and she could see the other Konoka was panicking even more now, struggling uselessly in place.

"Behold!" Chigusa cried, opening her arms. "Kiri Kiri, Vajara Unhatta! Even the legions of Hell obey my commands! I summon the beast armies from below to smithe my enemies!"

Kotaro cringed. "Man, this is going really off the rails..."

"I never signed to bring Apocalypse to this world, " Yami whispered, leaning her head closer to him. "This was supposed to be a simple kidnapping."

Deathstroke folded his arms and hummed gruffly. "The last time I had dealings with that kind of beings, I ended up regretting it dearly."

"I'm sure the feeling was mutual, Bro, " Deadpool told him. "Anyway, this is bad! If the world's destroyed because of us, I'll lose my Antihero status and I'll become an out and out Villain Protagonist! And I'll lose my iconic presence as a substainer of several titles! Heck, they might cancel me altogether! The Joker's ongoing only lasted nine issues! Even Dark Avengers didn't last that long! I'll end up having to guest star here and there to always have my butt kicked, like Kraven!"

"I can hear you, you know, " Kravinoff grumbled. "Not like I understand your manic babble, but I hear you. Regardless, Lady Amagasaki, I must join my voice to these protests. I see no honor or a worthy hunt in this endeavor, and—"

Then they all fell silent as they saw what emerged from the spots of light.

"WHOOOOOOOOO, LET'S ALL PLAY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! WILL WE GET CYBERDEMONS, TOO?-!"

Well, all but Deadpool, naturally.
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OverMaster
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The Demon Wears Prada

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All around the landscape, demons were appearing as far as the eye could cover. Kotaro was a bit rattled despite his own origins, not being used to see that many supernatural entities all at once, but he still managed to keep enough self control to keep on transmitting a feeling of confidence. If the others around him were shocked at all, they managed to keep it under wraps as well. Well, all but Deadpool, who hopped in place like a child high on sugar.

There were demons from all sizes, colors and kinds, but most of them defintely fell into the towering range. Several of them were the Oni type, carrying huge maces and wearing loinclothes. A few others looked like foxes on two feet wearing Noh masks, and several of those appeared to be females. There were spider demons and cyclops demons, tiny giggling devils with pitchforks and Arabian looking ones wearing turbans. Slime demons, and others who were little else than giant mouths full of sharp teeth. Very few of them were empty handed; spears and lances were their most common weapons of choice, although a few of them had brought swords and clubs as well.

The tallest of them all, a musclebound brute with a single horn on his head, had slitted golden eyes and wore little but boots and what looked like an armored Speedo. He addressed Chigusa, talking with a hideously deep and disturbing voice. "Are you the one who summoned us?"

The woman nodded confidently. "Yes. As you no doubt can feel, I have attained a power the likes of which are rarely seen in this world. And yet, my enemies are so powerful I pretend leaving nothing to chance. You and your legions will go eliminate them for me, and you'll be richly rewarded. Call me Amagasaki Chigusa."

The demon lowered his head only a bit. "I am K'yl Frkazael, son of the duke of damnation, F'ranqq F'ryzasel. Your summon has been valid, Amagasaki Chigusa. As long as you honor your part of this agreement, so will we. Tell us who are your enemies, and I guarantee they won't see the next dawn!"

"Can we call you Kyle?" Deadpool asked.

The massive figure shrugged his shoulders. "Sure. Why not?"

"Hey, swell! You seem a pleasant enough guy for a duke of damnation junior, Kyle. To be honest, I was half-expecting you'd blow my head off after I asked you that."

"Nah, why should I? Everyone calls me Kyle. Now, if you'd called me Kylie Minogue, I'd have killed you."

"Minogue. Got it. Then we're going to work together! What if we go for some beers after we're done?"

"Fine with me. Hah! I admire your courage, lowly human! Most of your race pisses their pants right after meeting us!"

"Yeah, I mean, can you smell the brownies in these guys' pants?" Deadpool indolently pointed at the rest of the group. Everyone there glared at him while the demons laughed. "But I've worked with the worst this universe has to offer! The Canada and USA governments! Bullseye! Arnim Zola! COBRA— Wait, no, that was just a wet dream I had involving the Baroness... Anyway, I even was Justin Bieber's bodyguard for a while! There's no low I won't sink to unless it involves Stephenie Meyer!" The demons all shuddered. "My point is, I look forward to working with you guys! After all, everyone keeps telling me 'Go to Hell!', so like Hell I'm going to freak out when Hell comes to me, right? Shake 'em, pal!"

Kyle chuckled and gently shook Deadpool's hand.

The Merc looked over his shoulder at Chigusa and gave her a thumbs up. "Neat choice, Chigster! Wanna come with us after the job's done, too?"

Chigusa's left eyebrow twitched a bit. "I... I'll think about it. Regardless, I'll use my new powers to open gateways for all of you leading to the Konoe villa. I know the place well, and I know all the positions you can use to attack it like the palm of my hand. Leave no stone unturned, but I want a particular person delivered here alive and healthy. Her name is—"

"— Hakase Satomi!" Deadpool cried. "Hey, I still haven't learned why she married Godel! I need to know!"

"NO! It's Setsuna Onee-sama!" Tsukuyomi shouted.

Kyle nodded and bumped fists with Deadpool. "Okay, we'll bring you the one named Hakase Satomi, friend of Hell."

"Chigusa-han!-!-!" Tsukuyomi yelled. "Tell your steroid pumping friends not to ignore me in favor of the creepy weirdo!"

Chigusa rubbed her deeply aching temples. It seemed not even newborn gods were exempt from the taxing idiocy of their subjects, after all...
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OverMaster
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Out of the Ice and into the Fire

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As she ran between the Chaos and Hakase, Chachamaru began showing symptoms of actually feeling her weight. She slowed down much to everyone else's notice.

"It seems the damage to my systems has been more extensive than I believed at first, " she informed. "Even in Emergency Mode, my activity has fallen down to 79%. My apologies. Please stash me somewhere in standby and come to retrieve me later."

Chisame begrudgingly stopped to yell at her. "Are you crazy?-! They're going to leave this whole place flat as a pancake!"

Hakase knelt down next to her creation, analyzing her wounds (for the first time, she was thinking of them using that term) again. "Hum. It seems moving you around so quickly has accelerated the spreading of your inner damage. Mc Dowell-san's attack was even more intense than I thought, but I can fix it! Just give me a few minutes with a basic set of tools, and—"

"Satomi-chan, we don't have time for that!" Sakurako reminded her.

The local Chao breathed deeply. "I'll stay behind with them. We'll finish the repairs much faster that way, and Erebus-san, the elder and Takahata-sensei are sure to contain Mc Dowell-san long enough for us to finish. Even if they can't, well, we always can escape with the half repaired body."

"In the worst possible scenario, we only need keeping the head. That's where all the memory and personality circuits are stored, " Hakase said.

"Whatever you do, do it quick!" Misora urged, already at the front door.

Sakurako looked at Hakase pleadingly. "Satomi-chan...?"

She smiled and patted her on a shoulder. "It won't take long at all. We'll be back at your side before you even start missing us."

"I'll help them, too, " Other-Chao decided. "I have some time of experience on them, so it should be child's play for the three of us."

"Th-Then I'll stay as well!" the cheerleader decided.

"They need your luck more than us..." Satomi sighed, shaking her head. "And I'll work better knowing you're away from immediate danger, right? Sensei, Chisame, please look after her, okay?"

"Are you sure about this, Satomi-san? Chao-san?" a worried Negi asked.

Another loud explosion punctuated by mad cackles shook the villa.

Chao sighed and all but pushed Negi ahead. "What is there to fear? Geniuses like us are used to work in dangerous conditions. Just go prepare the way for us, ne?"

"I'm sorry to be the cause of this inconvenience, " Chachamaru apologized humbly.

Negi paused for maybe more moments than he should have in such a dire situation, but he ended up nodding. "Okay. I'll trust you!"

Deathnote, Sakurazaki, Valkyrie Black and Pyscho Purple all blinked. Then they looked at Chisame. "What?" Chisame asked them.

"He, willing to blindly trust his students in a mess this big without protesting or trying to do it all himself?" Paru snorted with a half-grin. "What do you put in his food that Asuna didn't?"

"Hey! What are you trying to imply with that?-!" Asuna and Chisame cried at once.

"Well, " Calculator scratched her chin with a finger, "If it had fallen to me, perish the thought, I'd have made sure to knock the notion into him more than Asuna did..."

After exhaling a very long sigh, Sakurako pulled Hakase against herself and planted a long, wet, noisy kiss on her. Negi, Ayase and Miyazaki blushed and looked away. The Chamos made twin geysers of nose blood. Misa grimaced. Matoi cooed briefly. The Chisames had matching faces of discomfort. The Chaos only looked at each other, rolling their eyes. Haruka's face twitched furiously. The Harunas chuckled ominously. Natsuki made a small half-smile, her first since arriving there. Mint and Chitose remained the same as always. Chachamaru's expression was truly unreadable.

"For the good luck, " Shiina purred as their lips separated.

"I, I feel luckier already, " Hakase confessed behind foggy glasses.

She was so messed up by it, as a matter of fact, she barely registered everyone's farewell and beware words, only waving at the mechanically. The next thing she truly knew, the Chaos had pulled her and Chachamaru into a nearby room, and everyone else was gone.

"Okay, first of all, let's see how much equipment we have to work with here, " Other-Chao proposed, reaching into her belongings and pulling out a surprisingly large amount of specialized tools. She saw Chao simply pulling a tiny capsule out. "And that is...?"

"Kind of a secret ace under the sleeve for really tight spots, " Chao answered, while pressing a diminutive button in the capsule and tossing it aside. Immediately, a full set of Chachamaru repairment material (even labeled as such!) appeared in a puff of smoke, as if it had just popped out of the capsule magically. Including spare parts, even all four limbs.

"Is that..." the Other Chao seemed puzzled for once.

Chao shrugged. "It hasn't been invented yet, but I memorized the schematics in my time, " she whispered to her counterpart. "Didn't they ever have a Capsule Corporation in your world?"

Other-Chao shook her head. "Nah, and somehow, I have a gut feeling that's for the best..."

Meanwhile, Negi's group already was reaching the gates of the fortress. "I'm getting a signal on Lake Biwa!" Calculator cried. "They've got both Konokas in place, alright, and also a blonde I guess it's that Type-Moon Chao talked about! Wait, Chigusa's addressing her forces now... What is she... Oh, no..."

She stopped just as soon as she had said that.

"What happened?" Negi turned to look at her. "Are they okay?"

Calculator looked at him, going pale. "As much as they can now. It's us who aren't okay."

"What? Why?" Chisame asked. "Why would we—"

Then the first circle of light appeared on the distant grounds downhill, and out of it emerged several huge winged demons accompanied by the pale white haired girl in the boyish outfit. The Ala Alba members gave a collective step back. Misora gave ten.

And the circles began appearing one after another, nonstop, all before them, completely surrounding the villa. Each one bringing dozens and dozens of demons, often in the company of one or another of Chigusa's hired help. Sakurazaki gasped, since the amount of demons there dwarfed that she had witnessed when her Konoka was first kidnapped. Not as many as Kosmo Entelekheia had summoned during the Ostia crisis, either, but still, far many more than ever her feel confident on taking on.

"Well, crap, " Deathnote chewed on her own tongue.

"U-Understatement of the century, " Asuna gulped, gripping the paper fan tightly, with shaking hands.

"Everyone get behind me!" Negi was saying, although few were actually doing so.

"Wh-What kind of devilish nightmare is this?" Haruka babbled, but her grip on her morningstar was steady and strong.

Natsuki readied her guns. "... Well, well. A step up from gunning hoodlums, that's for sure."

"Can't we draw ourselves a few teleporters out of here?" Haruna asked, trying to fix one of Dad's cocky grins on her face.

"Not working ones. I've tried, " Deathnote breathed in and out. "We're going to have to fight our way through this one."

"Ah. Sweet."

"Yo, Negi!" Kotaro jumped down from the head of a serpent demon, flipping him a weirdly friendly salute. "We left some unsolved matters earlier today, but men never leave anything hanging for long!"

Haruna chuckled. "For real? Men are all about their hanging things, all the time...!"

Kotaro didn't get it, so he gave her a short intrigued glare before looking at Negi again. "Anyway, what do you say if we reassume things where we left them? Where were we then? Oh, yeah..." and he burst up into his musclebound beast form, "HERE!"

Back at the bottom of the assault group, Sextum waited motionlessly.

Are you already there, Lady Sextum? a concerned voice asked through the Pactio link.

Affirmative, Homura. How are the events progressing there?

Lady Chigusa's ritual is going the way she expected it, but I'm not sure it's what we were hoping for. Please finish things there quick and return here as soon as you can!

I think I'll hold myself back until I get some data on this Negi Springfield. If he's truly the son of the man who defeated the first and the second, Lord Dynamis will want to know on him. Besides, I grow unconvinced Amagasaki's plan benefits our purposes, with these latest twists. Keep me informed if she does anything that directly contradicts our agreement. I'll be ther immediately.

As you wish. Please be careful, Lady Sextum.


She almost nodded out of mechanical conditioned reflex and nothing else as the comunication was short. Her gray eyes were fixed on the small boy about to engage Inugami in combat.

Her predictions for the fight, if she had any, were only hers to know.
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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So, Nagi didn't actually fight Tertium here? Or is she not saying that he defeated him because Tertium wasn't terminated?

Also, yeah, it is for the best. At least they won't have a crazy saiyan running around in a few years...
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

They fought, but for circumstances to be explained later, the fight couldn't last enough for a true winner to be decided.
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OverMaster
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The Easiest Way to Laughter

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Konoe Konoeko ran ahead, leading the way down a long chain of zig-zagging narrow corridors leading southward. Ayaka, who raced right behind her followed by Roberta, could tell they were going underground. Being the daughter of a millionaire, and having been kidnapped once as a child, Ayaka had been trained on emergency escape drills several times before, and she knew the procedures. She also knew perfectly by now when she was being led up and down in an escape passageway.

No one was saying anything, not even Makie, who kept a hand hidden under the cover of her picnic basket for some reason. Sora-san was crying silently, and Ayaka could say very well why. Keiichi-san held a comforting hand on Sora's shoulder, but otherwise looked unable to comfort her in a believable way, his face betraying an intense fear. Nodoka only bit her lower lip as if to stop herself from crying.

"Two twists at left from here, and we'll come out to a small river. There are two escape boats there at all times. They have magic wards on them making them invisible from naked mundane eyes, but don't worry, I'll guide you in and pilot it myself," Konoeko promised right when Ayaka was about to ask how long was left to come out.  They all nodded. The true Yamato Nadeshiko, after all, was trained to be a skilled protector and defender of her house.

"Will we all fit into a single boat?" Roberta asked.

Konoeko nodded. "They're the best we could buy. There are several armed guardsmen watching over the exit at all times, as well, in such a way they don't draw any attention from casual passerbys and compromise our secrets. Anyone managing to find the exit, overcome our men and gain entrance here this way would be nothing short of a--"

Then they all, as a single being, screeched to a halt, hearing low, raspy chuckles from behind the corner.  And a crooning, sinister voice talking in English.

"Come on, Ruri Ruri," the voice was saying. "Just one or two. I'm the Joker, for Pete's sake!" and that made Ayaka, who knew English, all but jump back in terror. Roberta, who also had learned the language, pulled her back behind herself. "I haven't cut loose in a while. I'm going to start losing respect!"

"No," a soft female voice rang in his earpiece communicator, too low for the others to hear. "You know they don't want casualties. I'm reporting this if you step over the line."

The Joker snarled now. "Listen, little smartypants poptart, I don't remember the part where I agreed to let my hostage boss me around. Just because you've got that cute and marketable share of our party cornered, doesn't mean you aren't impossible to replace as either the computer whiz or the Token Loli. Heck, for the latter, even Quarty in a dress would suffice..."

Then another, younger, male voice spoke. Out of their vision range, Quartum lifted his gaze from the heavily beaten guards he was holding. "There's someone else near."

Roberta readied her umbrella once more. Makie stopped pretending and just pulled a handgun out, which made Sora let out a brief yell of shock. Keiichi covered her mouth with both hands, but it was too late now.

An uncombed pale head full of silvery white wild hair peeked in around the corner. A young boy's head. To Roberta, it made no difference. She took aim and shot between the eyes all the same, despite Ayaka's cry against it.

The bullet never reached its destination. The next thing Roberta knew, a blur had flashed past Konoeko, snapped her umbrella by half and casually flicked her stomach, but with so much power it sent her flying several feet back, blowing the air and nearly the dinner out of her.

"ROBERTA-SAN!" Ayaka yelled, just as the boy now standing between them simply sneered, outstretching a hand, thin lines of fire dancing between his fingers.

And then, approaching steps around the corner.

And then, the man walked into sight, with a heavily pummeled and bleeding young guard held against him, both broken arms hanging loosely. The clown smiled from ear to ear, holding a teasing knife with a painted smiley on against his victim's face.

"Oh, well, well. Sorry to drop by without invitations," he said. He saw Makie training her gun on his head. "Oh. Just 'sorry' isn't going to cut it, then? Well, let me add 'Thanks!'" he chuckled, just as Quartum casually grabbed Makie's piece and yanked it, crushing it between his fingers into a red hot ball in a blink. "Yes, thanks! Because you'll see, there were so few guards I couldn't decide what to do with them. Gas them, stab them, blind them, paralyze them, gut them, chop them, poison them, shoot them, burn them? But now you're here, all options can be covered properly! The Joker has a kind of special entertainment for everyone!"
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THEY'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! AND IT WILL. BE. GLORIOUS!
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Tales from Mundus Magicus: Yukino

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The actual armory Presea had led them into was even more loaded with weapons of all sorts than the rest of the house, plus a few furnaces and tools to make them. Although not as many as Yukino had expected to see there, in any case. Then again, she was a complete ignorant on the subject.

Which, of course, meant she was the first one of them Presea chose to question.

"Your name is Yukino, isn't it?"

The mousy girl nodded. "K-Kikukawa Yukino, ma'am."

"Did Clef manage to tell you your element?"

Yukino shook her head.

Presea stopped before them, rubbing her chin. Standing behind her, Motsu and Shichimi copied her actions. "Well, let's see, Hikaru here has the element of fire. Normally, in any band of magical adventurers, all four basic elements are present. So that leaves us with Earth, Water and Air..."

She looked back and forth between Nanami and Tsuwabuki until Nanami became rather irked. "What's wrong with you?"

Presea pointed a wagging finger at them. "Earth and Water normally go together, so you must be those two..."

"LIKE DAMN HELL WE'RE SOME SORT OF COUPLE, WEIRD HAG!" Nanami roared at her. Tsuwabuki only had his swooning spirit fluttering out of his body for a moment.

Ignoring the girl's rage altogether, Presea spun on her heels to face Yukino, smiling. "By default, that leaves you with the element of Air!"

Yukino had a drop of sweat stuck to her head. "W-What kind of suspicious elimination process is that?"

"Air users, and those with air as their element in general, tend to be gentle creatures who would prefer dialogue to fighting, " Presea placed her hands on Yukino's shoulders.

"Yeah, that sounds like Yukino-san, alright!" Hikaru nodded.

"In other words, you're trying to say they tend to be awful fighters, aren't you?" Nanami cut through the issue with her habitual tact.

Presea nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so. The last one we had who was a really impressive combatant was the last Airbender Master from the Southern Air Temple, but he disappeared one hundred years ago..."

Yukino had another Despair Spot. She was starting to actually understand Itoshiki-sensei's philosophy. "It stood to reason I'd get to be the useless one..." she murmured.

"Well, don't let your spirits down!" Presea snapped her fingers right before her face. "Even if it'll take a time to make a fighter out of you (you could begin by eating more), air element people tends to make for good defenders and protectors! I'm sure you can be taught defense or healing magic, but in the meanwhile, I have a good beginning shield for you. You're from the Old World, aren't you?"

"Y-You mean Earth? Yes..."

"People of Earth, take me with your leader!" Motsu assumed a defiant pose. "Mars needs women!"

Kirara just bit him on a leg, making him scream.

Presea hummed as she took a golden key out, using it to open a humongous steel box in a corner. The teens all gulped when they saw what she pulled out of there. Motsu and Shichimi didn't know what it was, but they gasped as well to avoid being left behind on it.

It was a large and shiny round shield, made of metal, painted in circular red and white stripes. In the middle of it, a white five points star on blue. Presea flexed her arm to show it off. "I got it from a friend who came from your world, after its original owner vanished! It's forged from a literally indestructible alloy, that can block almost anything in both worlds! Yet, it's also so light even you could carry it around easily!" And to prove her point, she put it on Yukino's trembling hands. The schoolgirl had expected it'd weigh a ton, but while it weighed fairly more than she was used to carry, it amazed her it was much lighter than it seemed. "Am I right, or what?" Presea grinned.

"It's also the world's coolest frisbee! And IN A GREAT WAY!" Motsu gushed out loud.

"I... I think I can use it, yes. Th-Thanks..." Yukino nodded erratically.

"It can't be! That man's greatest weapon!" Hikaru was in sheer awe.

"It's the authentic one? All the history books said it'd been lost forever...!" Tsuwabuki was even more amazed.

Nanami just snorted. "Why so awestruck? That man was an enemy of our country!"

Yukino, Hikaru and Tsuwabuki all gave her aghast looks.

"But Kiryuu-san, we were the Axis then!" Yukino said.

"We were the bad guys, Nanami-sama!" the boy reminded her.

"Even I know that!" Hikaru finished.

Nanami blushed and looked aside. "It's- It's only the principle of the thing!"

Presea gave Nanami a cynical look, hands on her own hips. It looked more like the pose of a fashion designer than a weaponsmith. "Okay, you're next. You have a very agressive disposition, so you're better suited to be an attacker. And a close range one. I think you have some experience with swords?"

"Of course I do! My older brother taught me fencing!" Nanami said petulantly.

"Fencing is useless in a Mundus Magicus battlefield, " Presea dismissed that with a handwave. The casual way she did it annoyed Nanami. "You'll need mastering a new form of sword fighting. Luckily..."

She walked towards a nearby chest, pulling a silver key out this time.

"... I've got something that can be both your blade and your teacher at once right here."
What is the point anymore?
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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Wind is not an useless element for battle. Sure, you need to be some sort of epic prodigy, but it's one of the most kickass elements when used right.

Razor wind, anyone?
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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rikalous
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Creature of the Deep

Sucking the air out of their lungs, anyone?

But I think it's a Personality Powers thing, not a problem with air itself.
Let's Watch Nanoha
Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues.
My other claims to fame.
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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Has Problems Giving A Shit

Any power can be made insanely lethal. Even heart under the right hands.

I have half a mind to write a fic in which Ma-Ti gets drunk with the power of Heart. "Did I ever tell you I can cause heart attacks?"
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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Hyp3rB14d3
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I thought Ma-Ti's power was mind control? Isn't the reason he often seems useless because he refuses to use it on people?
Ryouga Quest
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