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Unequally Rational And Emotional Thread; It's Negima with Everything Else Added!
Topic Started: Apr 15 2012, 06:40 PM (11,725 Views)
OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

A Girl's Thing

Quote:
 
All Hasegawa Sora knew was, suddenly the world had gone very hot all around her, and then it suddenly was impossible to breathe. She heard a scream from Miyazaki-san and insane, ear piercing evil laughter, and it all was too much for her and she fainted back on a pair of thin but strong arms.

She had vague flashes of awareness after that. She thought she felt herself coughing violently several times, and she also felt, above it all, the unbearable, blistering heat, which almost was bad enough to force her to wake up, but in the end, she just ended up surrendering completely to blackness.

For the next few moments, she had brief glimpses of a very nice pale girl with black hair, all in black and carrying an umbrella. Not the Roberta-san kind of umbrella. Or was it a parasol? She couldn't make such details out.

The girl was saying a few things, all of them nice and encouraging, and since Sora always needed encouragement, she might have benefited from remembering them. But in the end, she only could truly understand one thing of what she was saying.

"— your sister needs you."

She struggled back, but it was difficult. It was like pushing her way through a lake of tar. But finally, she could see something at the end of her path, just as she started feeling like coughing again (although her breath still wouldn't come out).

She saw a blushing, awkward looking face right above hers, its details sketchy. She felt a soft breath on her nose, and she heard a reluctant "I guess there's no choice..."

Then there was something warm and soft on her lips, and even warmer air was blown into her.

Now Sora's eyes finally fully opened out of their own acord. She saw Yukihiro Ayaka-san on her hands and knees over her, their mouths connected, and that moved her to gag and sputter on that mouth, and her limbs moved weakly. Ayaka-san reacted by pulling her head back, grimacing, and when Sora tried to speak but only could make more choked sounds, she gently pressed her hands on the older female's chest, helping her to regain her breath.

Sora coughed and spat, turning her head aside and shuddering from head to toes. After wheezing a lot for a couple of minutes, she remained still and supporting herself on her hands, head down and brown hair falling all over her features.

"Can you move?" Ayaka asked her.

"Wh—Where are we?" she spoke as best as she could, looking around to find they were at a darkened dancing hall, and there were rumbling and exploding sounds coming from all directions. "Where are they—?" she asked weakly, not seeing anyone else with them.

"I managed to drag you out of the fire, " the rich girl said, making Sora blink. "Looks like we were separated by the flames, but never mind that now. The fire's advancing quickly, and even without that, the fight against Evangeline-san seems to be destroying the building. Can you walk? Because we need to get out here immediately."

Sora nodded and tried to stood up, although she needed Ayaka's help for that. Her legs were shaky, her head was spinning and ringing, and she had such a flavor in her mouth she wondered if she hadn't puked at some point. "Thanks. Where are we—"

"Out. To rejoin Negi-sensei. He'll know what to do." With undying faith on him, Ayaka placed the shuddering Sora against a wall, grabbed a chair, and smashed it through a large nearby window. She kicked the largest pieces of sharp glass left attached to the frame loose and grabbed Sora once more, carefully working her way out with her, into the cold open night. "Don't fear. We're at ground level now."

They landed on the grass, hearing howls, screams and gunfire in the distance. "What is that—" Sora rasped, adjusting her glasses on her face. A few spots of it ached, and that made her notice she had some slight burnts. So did Ayaka, for that matter. Not that it stopped her as she helped her advance into the forest. But in the direction most of the noise seemed to come from.

"We need Negi-sensei, but odds are he needs us too, " Ayaka whispered. "Your sister too, come to think about it. So if you can, try to recover fast, because— Duck, " she urged, puhsing Sora down with herself into a bush as three winged gremlins flew over their heads. "Oh, my God. Did you see that?"

Sora nodded. "I... I don't know what's going on anymore..."

"Quick, " Ayaka directed her to follow her between the bushes, taking a more or less straight path for the main gate. "As long as we're alone, we aren't safe no matter what."

"Why... Why don't we head the other way around? W-We should see if..." another fit of cough she tried to keep low, "... sorry, if Konoeko-san and the others made it into the river..."

"But your sister and Negi-sensei aren't there, are they?" Ayaka asked, not looking at her.

"No. No, they aren't, " Sora sighed, and she kept on following her, limping just the teeniest bit. For some reason, her right leg wasn't giving its all.

They kept on advancing for torturously long moments. Sora suspected Ayaka was holding back from going as fast as she could and wanted because of her, and that made her feel even worse. Besides, it was difficult to see their way in the darkness. And they had to be quiet, since more winged beings often flew over them, going from one side to another of the grounds.

At some point, Sora noticed Ayaka was starting to sob softly. She placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to console her as best as she could. "I'm sure Roberta-san and everyone else came out just fine..."

"I-I know, " Ayaka sniffed, trying to sound as if she wasn't sniffing, although she was far from sounding convincing in her confidence. "I saw Morisato-san and Makie-san getting away from the fire. I tried calling for them, but they couldn't hear me in the commotion, and I couldn't follow them into the fire, carrying you."

"S-So sorry..."

"Don't be! Sheesh, it could have happened to anyone, okay? Hush, " she urged again, making her hide behind a large tree with herself as three demons similar to boars ran near, passing away without seeing them quickly. Ayaka sighed and shook her head. "I can't believe I wasted my first kiss on you. I was saving my virginity... I mean, the virginity of my lips for Negi-sensei! I only had practiced mouth to mouth breathing on dummies before..."

"Ah, well, it worked fine all the same, thanks, " Sora said clumsily. "I-If it makes you feel any better, it was my f-first kiss too..."

"No, it doesn't, " Ayaka mumbled. "Wait, your first? How old are you, again?"

"Nineteen. Why?"

Ayaka all but chuckled bitterly. "Your sister's fourteen, and she already kissed Negi-sensei and Asuna-san..."

"Wait, what?-!"

"Shhh! I just had an idea. I should've done this from the start. Damn my confusion, " the heiress said. She had lost her own cellphone in Cinema Town, but Roberta had given hers since, and she was pulling it out now. "I know what to do."

"A-Are you calling the police?"

"Even better. A professional."
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OverMaster
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With a Little Help from my Friends

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The Inn:

Nagase Kaede made a wide, roguish smile. "You're dead meat."

Tatsumiya Mana's grin, if anything, was even colder and harsher now. "Shallow words from a shallow mind. You're fortunate your muscles aren't as dry as your wit."

"I save my actual wit for those worthy of it, " Kaede shot back, forcing herself to keep the playfully tense smile.

"Sure thing. And I suppose, conveniently, you'll never find anyone like that in your life."

Then they finally started armwrestling, pushing strongly against each other, straining themselves to their limits, or rather the limits of what they allowed themselves to show in public. The thick table under their elbows began to show several cracks like spider webbing. Their muscles bulged up in their slim but firm biceps.

Mana's cellphone rang, in a simple, standard tone, one especially picked to never draw unwanted attention on it. Momentarily distracted, Mana's attention faltered, and Kaede pushed her arm down against the table.

"Hah! Third time in a row-de gozaru!"

"This one didn't count! I was thrown out my game!" Mana barked before picking the phone up. "Hello? Tatsumiya here. This better be good."

"Thank heavens, Tatsumiya-san!" Iinchou's voice greeted her. "Listen, I can't explain myself in lenght, but we need help here. As much as we can get. I'll pay you anything! We are in Konoka-san's residence at the hills..."

"Slow down, Iinchou, " Mana asked calmly. "Why are you telling me this? You seem to have mistaken me for some sort of mercenary..."

Ayaka's reply was fast and humorless. "I know of your part time job, Tatsumiya-san. I've been learning a lot on the world of the hidden."

"Ah, " Mana shook her head. "That is bad. People like you are best kept in the ignorance of such things, for your own good. Tell me, what have you been drawn into?"

"Demons are invading this place, and Evangeline-san went insane and attacked everyone. I'm with Chisame-san's older sister now, and we're hiding, but everyone else is in direct danger, including Negi-sensei..."

"If you know about me, you know Negi-sensei can take care of things there, " Mana commented indolently. "Since Takahata-sensei doesn't seem to be here, is he with you as well?"

"Y-Yes, but I'm afraid even he isn't enough to handle this..." Ayaka's voice trembled.

"He is. Trust me on this. He's even stronger than me, so you really don't have to—"

"Tatsumiya-san, " Ayaka lowered her voice, perhaps to avoid scaring the sobbing person heard near her. Ayaka's own voice cracked a bit through her brave facade. "Roberta-san, Makie-san, Miyazaki-san, Morisato-san and Konoka-san's mother might all be dead. And even the Joker's here. This place has become hell. Please. You'll have anything you want from me."

There was a very long and frustrating pause before Mana replied, "I'll go there, make a checkup of the situation, and give you a quota to fill based on exactly how dire things are. Is that fine with you?"

"Yes, whatever! Money isn't an issue! Just come here and help us! I'll give you the exact address—"

"No need for that. I know the location."

"What?-! But—!"

"I've been there before. Don't ask. Try and stay alive until I arrive." And she cut the call. "Stupid Iinchou, " she muttered. "Money is always an issue."

Kaede smiled placidly and oh-so-smugly at her. "Something interesting just popped out?"

Mana gave her a mild glare. "What would you say if I proposed you another kind of competition?"
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OverMaster
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Big Trouble in Little Kyoto

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"Hey, Fei, " Mana lightly prodded the sleeping, drooling form with a foot. "Wake up."

The dark skinned blonde in pajamas rolled around and hugged her pillow, making lip-smacking happy sounds. But she didn't wake up.

Mana's foot actually began tapping on her backside, shying itself just short of actually kicking her. "Damn it, Fei, open those eyes! Negi-sensei might need you!"

Kaede, who was standing next to Mana, cleared her throt before making a pitch perfect imitation of Haruna's voice. "Oh, Ku-chan is asleep like a baby! I guess I'll take advantage of it to fondle her in her dreams!"

Ku Fei sprang back to her feet and whipped a knife from under her pillow, reaching up high enough to place its sharp edge against Kaede's throat. Mana groaned.

"I told you before, Paru, Ku's purity only for man strong enough to—!" she blinked, finally recognizing the ninja's face in the darkness of the bedroom. "Kaede-chan? What are you doing here-aru?"

"Good evening, Ku-dono, " the unflinching kunoichi smiled and waved at her. "Please forgive this one's trickery, but we had to wake you up somehow. We're going to have a major fight."

Ku grunted, looking back and forth between them. "Big deal. You two are always fighting."

"We mean fighting side by side, against lots of strong enemies, " Mana made it clear.

Ku's eyes lit up. "Really?-!"

Kaede nodded. "And you're invited, if you want to honor these lowly ones with your presence. Negi-sensei will be there, too."

Ku's face-long dreamy smile was now accompanied by a weak blush. "That sounds great!" and she turned to shake the figure sleeping in the next futon. "Ne, Chao, heard that? Don't you wanna come, too?"

For a moment, Kaede thought she saw Mana's eyes glinting with an eerie light as her sight scanned Chao's prone body. The ninja, however, took good care of not mentioning it.

"Forget it, " Mana finally said. "She isn't the real Chao anyway."

"Aru?" Ku blinked.

"I said forget it. You'll probably meet the real Chao again where we're going, " Mana turned around and began leaving. "We'll be waiting near the back door. If you aren't there in four minutes all dressed up, we're going out without you."

A soft voice asked from another futon. "Not the real Chao, huh?"

Mana briefly looked back at Yotsuba Satsuki, who had just opened her eyes and sat up.

The mercenary shook her head. "But you're perceptive. Surely you noticed it before this."

"I did, yes, " Yotsuba nodded humbly, even as Ku hastily pulled her pajama pants down and looked around frantically for a Chinese dress. "But since I didn't have anyone to ask..."

Mana waved a hand at her. "Everything will be fine. Go back to sleep."

Respectfully, Satsuki shook her head. "I'll get you something ready for when you come back. Please bring Chao and Sensei back safely."

Mana had to nod. Not even Nitta would dare to yell at Satsuki or punish her if he found her in the kitchen after hours, after all.

"We will, " promised the mercenary.

"And take good care of yourselves, as well."

"We always do..."

"And please, please, don't kill anyone..."

Mana shrugged. "Now on that, I can't make any promises, sorry..."

Kaede looked aside. "The shinobi's path is one of a trained killer... but that's okay, because I'm not a ninja."

"Right, " Mana snorted.

"I'm ready!" Ku Fei stood before them, with a large and eager smile.

"You forgot to put shoes on, " Kaede commented.

"Oh, that's just a detail...!"

"And you put on that sarong dress backwards, " Mana added.

"Ah, like anyone's going to notice during the fight!"

"You should have turned the lights on before dressing, Ku-san..." Satsuki intervened.

Ku shrugged. "There's no time to waste on trivial things like that!"

"That goddamn thing's going to fall down in the middle of combat, " Mana warned. "Take it off and put it back on the right way, NOW."

Much to the disappointment of fanservice fans everywhere, Ku Fei complied.
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shanejayell
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Yuri Fan
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Posted Image

http://www.fanfiction.net/~shanejayell
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shanejayell_fanfiction
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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Psh, as if there weren't plenty of fanservice opportunities anyway.
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Omake.

Quote:
 
The Higher you Fly, the Lower you'll Fall

"And you are...?" Over Master asked.

The young man dressed like an ace pilot from the war placed a hand on his own chest, proudly. "I'm Nanaka Airheart! An actual Negima character in these dark times of gratutitous crossover cameos, out to rescue the status of real obscure Negima characters due our time of glory!"

"No, seriously, what did you do, again?"

"You must remember me, boss! I handled the aerial demonstrations of the Mahorafest, and confirmed Chao's whereabouts in the final day from above! Then I appeared again when the demons were attacking the Academy!"

"..." OM said.

"Screw it, if even that Catgirl Waitress gets her own omakes, I deserve a role too!"

Over Master sighed, wrote a few lines on a piece of paper, and handed it to the boy. "Go to this address and ask for Drake Mallard. He might have an use for someone like you."

—-

Tohsaka Rin frowned at the strange young man at her doorstep. "Who do you say sent you to look for whom? And what's this nonsense about a 'Replacement Launchpad'?"
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Darkenning
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Pervert. Also, Witch.
I'm pretty sure that Nanaka is supposed to be a girl, since she's something of an expy of Amelia Earhart, famous disappeared aviator.
"Hello! I'm Rurin, the Magical Mouse! My favorite food is cheese! My favorite pastimes are tormenting cats and facilitating romance! I have the power to bind the souls of guys who mistreat women to the depths of hell and subject them to everlasting karmic suffering! Isn't that cute? Pleased to meet you!" -- Rurin, the Magical Mouse, Magical Patissiere Kosaki-chan.
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Well, he or she is in the bottom of this page. It's a pretty generic manga face, could go either way.

http://www.mangareader.net/mahou-sensei-negima/322

In this page, the chest looks more squared than typical Akamatsu female chests, but it could be the suit.

http://www.mangareader.net/mahou-sensei-negima/322/3

This doesn't help much either. It's just another face shot. Do we ever see this character out of a plane?

http://www.mangareader.net/209-14988-14/ma...hapter-155.html

Just for confirmation, I went to the Negima Wiki (before writing the snippet) and it confirmed his male condition. Although Nanaka is a pretty feminine name.
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Darkenning
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Pervert. Also, Witch.
I don't believe we ever see hir out of an airplane, no. I have no idea what the wiki is basing that on, but you're right that s/he looks only about as feminine as Seruhiko ...

Ah well. It's a difference that makes no difference.
"Hello! I'm Rurin, the Magical Mouse! My favorite food is cheese! My favorite pastimes are tormenting cats and facilitating romance! I have the power to bind the souls of guys who mistreat women to the depths of hell and subject them to everlasting karmic suffering! Isn't that cute? Pleased to meet you!" -- Rurin, the Magical Mouse, Magical Patissiere Kosaki-chan.
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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I've seen manlier names out of paranormal activity.

You could always go the Nasuverse route...
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Hell of an Interlude

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Niffelheim. The final level of Venusian Hell. In the middle of it, there was a huge, imposing, majestic, crystalline castle with pointy towers blasphemously stabbing the gray sky.

Sitting cross legged on her red royal throne, a sultry dark skinned, white haired beauty yawned.

"Fafaraziel, " she called for one of her hunchbacked minor demon butlers. "Call Kyle and tell him I have another task tailor made for his talents."

"In other words, Your Majesty...?" the butler dared to ask.

"I want him to take me to the hockey game, of course. I think the Bloody Oilers and the Twilight Readers are playing tonight, aren't they?"

"Your Majesty, Lord Kyle and his forces have been summoned to Earth for a freelance gig. But, if you happen to want them back..."

"Oh, that? No, never mind then, " she waved a hand aloofly. "Just bring me Harold instead. He's a better driver anyway." She checked on the date in the calendar hanging near her throne. "Ah, the assignment happen to be in Kyoto, Japan, Earth, doesn't it?"

"Exactly, My Lady. Your sharp insight, foresight and wisdom never cease to amaze us, since—"

"Yes, yes, and you're a dearie too. Just go bring me Harold, okay?"

"As you wish!" and he darted out of the royal chambers.

Queen Hild shook her head to herself. "Why, " she mused, "my daughters have to involve themselves with such troublesome people? Honestly, can't they spend a single iteration without getting themselves in deadly trouble?"

Then, as if suddenly struck by inspiration, she summoned herself a crystal ball and call for Fafaraziel.

"Faf, darling, forget Harold. I've got a better show to watch tonight."

Oh, there were more players than usual this time! Two of that Haruna girl, even! She always showed so much promise. If only Zazie grew closer to her. Wait, two? Huh, someone had to be playing with the continuum again.

Well, not like she cared if everything went to Hell.

It only meant more power to her after all, right?
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OverMaster
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Under Damocles' Sword

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Mundus Magicus. Presea's woodlands house:

"This is your starter sword, " Presea pulled an old, thin longsword out of its scabbard and held it for the blond shoolgirl. It wasn't a very impressive weapon. Its blade was covered by rust, it smelled funny, and the damage from several battles was evident all over it, although not to the point of making it look like a complete ruin. Still, it wasn't exactly awe-inspiring. "Consider yourself lucky, because you'll be the next owner of Derflinger, duke of all swords! I'm not going to pretend he's the king, because we all know who's that..."

Nanami stared blankly at the sword. "Do you intend to toy with me?"

"Of course not!" Presea replied. "If I wanted to abuse you, I wouldn't be giving you this gem for free!"

"Carrying this ancient thing around is its own payment!" Nanami claimed. "More than our enemies, the biggest threat to my life here is cutting myself with this and dying from an infection!"

"It'd help if you ever bathed, " Motsu piped in. Nanami just kicked him across the room.

"Yeah, well, you look so incompetent, I wouldn't be shocked if you accidentally chop your own neck off!" said a deep male voice coming from the sword.

Even after all that had happened to them in the past day and a half, the visitors from another world kept enough sense of reality to be shocked, and backed away quickly as a single being. Not getting really why, but finding it a funny thing to do, Shichimi backed away with them.

"Don't tell me that thing just talked!" Nanami screamed.

"Why so surprised?" the sword mocked her. "You're a thin toadpole with a wig, and you can talk too!"

"Oh, it can see, too!" Hikaru made a marveled sound.

Nanami looked poisonously at her. "What are you trying to say with that...?"

Hikaru only held three fingers before the blade. "How many fingers do I have here?"

The sword sighed. "You're holding three. I wish I had at least a single one to hold it right on your face."

"Wow!" the redhead looked up and down at it. "How do you do it? You have no eyes or mouth, but you can see and talk!"

"Do I look like someone who forges magical swords?" the sword asked. "I mean, do I ask you how your internal organs work?"

"B-But we DO know that..." Yukino stammered meekly.

Presea laughed in a forced way. "Please forgive Derflinger's manners. He takes a while to warm up to people, but once he does, you won't find a better, more loyal partner!"

"Here's one! Here's one!" Motsu called frantically from the floor. Presea, accidentally, of course, yeah, silenced him by pressing a foot on his head.

Nanami frowned as she grabbed the sword's handle. "I already hate this fantasy world more than anything else."

"Well, yeah, the feeling's mutual from this particular part of this world, " the Derrflinger muttered, ignoring how that gained him an angry glare from Tsuwabuki. "Hey, Presea, don't tell me this is the Knight to hold me. Give me to the girl with glasses or the redhead, instead!"

"Yes. What the useless chunk of iron says, " Nanami agreed icily.

Presea shook her head stubbornly. "Never! I can feel when an user and a weapon are a match for each other, and you two have the chops to complement each other!"

"The chops? I doubt this thing can chop through a slice of bread!" Nanami growled.

"Oooh, good one!" Motsu crooned. Shichimi nodded.

"Yeah? I agree, but just because those scrawny arms of yours couldn't even begin to sink me into the bread!" the weapon taunted. "I'd prefer taking my risks with the talking pickle!"

"Motsu is a frog!" Shichimi meowed.

"Pickle, frog, whatever!" the green being waved his greedy webbed hands up. "It doesn't matter what you are, but how well you're armed! Gimme!"

Nanami looked back and forth between Derflinger and Motsu and smirked. "Come to think about it, you're a match made in heaven. What if I tie you together and toss you down an abyss?"

"Can I go too?" Shichimi asked honestly.

Nanami smiled down at her. "Sure thing!"

"Yayyyy!"

Presea shook her head. "Derf, you're the older one. Be nice to the kids and don't antagonize them, they are inexpert..."

"Wait, so you're really handing me over to a bunch of newbies you just picked off the street?" Derflinger sounded outraged. "After everything we went through together, you abandon me to my luck like this? These kids will lose me at the bottom of a chasm after a day, or trolls will eat them and use me to pick their teeth!"

Yukino and Tsuwabuki shuddered. Hikaru only blinked, while Nanami fumed.

"You must teach Nanami here the ropes until she can get herself a proper teacher, " Presea fondly patted the blade, and Nanami could swear its rust grew redder for a second. "Besides, you'll be surrounded by cute girls! You like that, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

Motsu pranced around in a tiny makeshit blue dress, with his mouth painted red and a fluff of fake blond hair on his head. "Only the fairest maid in the group will get to carry the mystic sword, in a good way..."

Derflinger shuddered in Nanami's hands. "On second thought, I might be worse."

"Worse?" Nanami grumbled. "Well, the way I see things, my life only could be worse if I had some—"

Then the nearest wall exploded in from the outside, smashed through by a devastating ice spell, a concentrated blizzard blowing sharp frozen fragments all around.
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IAmNotCreativeEnough
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Darkest Void Derflinger would smack its URAE counterpart, mostly because it shouldn't be wasting its chance.

Be it either to be surrounded by cute human girls or to teach a less violent Louise, that means, a tsundere by the looks of it, wrong on purpose. There are much lulz to be had.
rikalous wrote
 
Yes I am. I said I would, and I hate going back on my word. IANCE, you pustulating whoreson, I am going to find you when this is over. They will make a torture porn movie about your death, and they will have to tone it down to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Shadow Crystal Mage wrote
 
There there. Go do evil things in the name of the government to feel better.


There Be Whales Here
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Well, it's just URAE Derf started being insulted, and heavily, by his wielder. Had he been picked up by Hikaru or Yukino, they'd have begun on much better footing.

Mostly, I wanted a Shout Out to his original novel intro, where he starts trash talking Saito and the salesman.

By the way, I'm mostly guiding myself on the ZNT novels here. I may toss references to the anime filler here and there, but for the most part, I'll try to kinda-sorta-follow the novels. As much as I can when someone else's Louise's familiar, Siesta isn't around, the action takes place at Ariadne, and Derf is with the Magic Knights.
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OverMaster
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Oboy. Whee.

Uninvited Guests

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"You could have killed them, " Ruri's voice kept chiding them even now, as the two of them walked deeper into the manor, ocassionally stopping to put a beating on a squadron or two of guards who ran into them. Well, it was mostly Quartum who dished the beatings down, although Joker helped here and there with a boxing glove punching gun, a canister of laughing gas, or a few explosive marbles.

"God, I hope so, " Joker chuckled while running his teeth over his tongue. "Just for the irony of them burning to death without Quarty being able to look at them while they became extra crispy recipes."

Quartum shrugged apathetically, although still savoring the releasing sensation of letting his inner fire flow out. "Sometimes, imagining them as they burn is just as good as the real deal."

"Ah, the power of the mind, " Joker noded sagely. "Yes, sometimes, the things you do just don't live up to your expectations, and it's better to savor what could have been instead. Like firebombing an orphanage. It's pretty in the theory, but since you can't stay too close, it takes a lot of the watching thrill out. From the outside, it's just another fire."

Quartum smiled. "Good thing for me I can stand much closer to the flames, then..."

"You idiots make me sick, " Ruri declared dryly.

"We should have chosen you as the Kampfer, " Burnt Alive Lion nodded, sitting comfortably on Ruri's lap in the hideout.

"Oh, learn to live and let die, Ruri-Ruri, " Joker teased her as they arrived to a large and wrecked room where several guards stood frozen inside of monolitic chunks of ice shaped like stalagmites. The floor was shattered and turned into ice for the most part, and Joker had to be careful while walking. Quartum just strolled confidently with his hands in his pockets. "Wow, just look at this! The iceman cometh! Or should I say icegirl?"

In truth, the room had just been hit by a stray ice spell of Eva, which had blown through several walls and rooms before hitting ground level there, exploding in all directions and leaving everyone there frozen solid. That had been five minutes ago.

Unaware of this, Joker approached a woman armed with twin swords she had been about to draw when disaster hit her. This one had been further away from Ground Zero, so the spell had only covered her with a thinner layer of ice all over her.

"Behold, the excelent fabrication, the perfect polishing on the ice's surface, the exquisite lifelike likeness that I like so much in this likable piece of masterful sculpturing, " the mad voice cackled a soft coo that bubbled up the pale throat and gently erupted into the icy atmosphere of the room. A gloved hand caressed the frozen servant's cheek, then patted it. "Such a wonderful masterwork! This sister of yours is a real artist, my boy. And yet, her work's as frail as life itself..."

He licked his red lips up and down. "It wouldn't take anything, to shatter them all. Just a slight push here, a classic pratfall there, a stray bullet over there..."

The boy grunted, heading for the door with his hands in his pockets. "If you're going to do it, do it fast. We're on a schedule, and we can't risk running into the sixth model, okay? Let's just find 'that thing' and then burn this hut down to the ground."

"Afraid of a family reunion with your dear little sister?" the tall thin man mocked. "Oh, c'mon! You know the audience would looo-oooove some sweet sweet Averrunci decadence!"

"Just move it before I drag you off... by the neck!"

"Denial is the first sign of interest!" Joker accused before turning back to the frozen woman. "Just a moment. There's something I want to share with Nancy here..."

He reached into a pocket, and slowly, agonizingly slowly, pulled out...

... a red marker he used to draw a thick moustache on the layer of ice covering her face.

Quartum blinked. "You have markers that draw on ice?"

"I carry Joker Shark Repellent, too! I find I end up needing it at least twice a week, " he nonchalantly said before following the pale boy away, shrugging his shoulders. Stepping at a fast, merry pace, he soon overtook the again moody acting (now the thrill of burning people hd worn out) Averruncus, consulting a map while humming to himself. "Over here. Two hallways at left, another turn at right..." He stopped before a thick wooden wall and placed a small load of plastic explosive on it. After it blew up revealing a hidden passage down into a set of darkened stairs, Joker said, "Ruri-Ruri. You handling the security systems as agreed?"

"All those technology based, " the girl droned, and Joker could hear her fingers tapping on her keyboard. "They have good walls, but nothing I couldn't breach through. However, I can't do anything against the defenses based on 'magic', as you call it."

"Don't worry about that, " Joker gently pushed Quartum ahead of himself. "Our bestest friend in the whole world will take care of that!"

Quartum snorted, a hand already in flames. "Do your worst, stupid house. I'll bet you have nothing that can scratch me..."

As soon as he gave the first step down, a large boulder was shot from below against his face. Without even blinking, he pulverized it with a well timed punch. Joker coughed as the dust from the impact rained over them.

"You know, mind swatting the next one away?"

"Yes, " Quartum kept on walking down without looking back at him. "Never step out of where I'm stepping, and keep your head low just in case. You're taller than me, so you could activate sensors I just walk under."

"What, is this place child-and-midget friendly?" A beat. "What category do you fall under, anyway?"

"Just shut up or I'll cut your legs off so you're shorter than me."

"You know, Quarty, I think we really need to go again over who's the boss in this little party..."
What is the point anymore?
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