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Nimrod's Other Happy Place; For UberNimrod's snippets and stuff
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Topic Started: Sep 29 2012, 10:44 AM (1,584 Views)
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UberNimrod
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Sep 29 2012, 10:44 AM
Post #1
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Green
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This is where I plan on posting snippets for the various short stories I am working on. Mainly because me posting in the URAE thread is: 1. Dumb and 2. Not appropriate for the URAE thread.
At any rate, I figure if I make a serious enough mistake OM or SCM will catch it for me. Anyone else that reads the snippets is also allowed to make comments.
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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UberNimrod
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Sep 29 2012, 05:29 PM
Post #2
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Green
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Chapter 1 of Space and Time, Negima Style.
Going to let it sit here for a full 24 hours before I post this on FF.net, so comments and corrections would be greatly appreciated.
- Quote:
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Chapter 1 Space
It was nighttime, such as it was inside the TARDIS. But not everyone was sleeping.
In fact, three girls were tinkering with the TARDIS proper. One of them was staring at a screen mounted above the controls, while another was flat on her back with her head and shoulders stuck into the TARDIS. The remaining girl was underneath the transparent floor shining a light up into the TARDIS.
All three were cheerleaders. At least they were when they were at Mahora. Now they, and the rest of their class, were traveling companions to their teacher. Even if he preferred to be called Doctor.
“It's making a humming noise. Is it supposed to do that?” Misa asked from her position under the floor.
“He did say it was going to do that when we entered conceptual space.” Madoka's voice came from her position inside the main controls
“How is it coming Madoka?” Sakurako asked her friend on the floor.
“I think I have everything taken care of here.” Madoka said as she reached up and flipped a switch before sitting up. “Misa? Can you start attaching the thermocouples now?”
“Which ones do I attach?” Misa asked.
Madoka glanced at a piece of paper before she answered. “Two, seven, and eleven.”
“Ok.” Misa said as she got to work.
Sakurako came around to Madoka. “Need a hand up?” she asked.
“Please? I think my back is trying to lock into this position.” Madoka said.
Sakurako pulled her friend up before shifting her attention back to the controls. As she flipped a switch on one of the panels, Madoka asked, “Is that a new skirt? I don't think I've ever seen you wearing that?”
“Oh this thing?” Sakurako said with a giggle. “I've worn it a few times before. You must not have noticed.”
Madoka frowned in thought as she peered at her handiwork under a control panel. “It looks familiar. But I don't remember you with that skirt on.”
“Well, don't worry about it too much. It's only a skirt.” Sakurako said as she went to another panel and adjusted something there.
“That's my skirt you're wearing!” Misa shouted.
Right then the lights went out and the TARDIS stopped making noise.
“Um...” Sakurako started to say
“Misa? Did you drop one of the thermocouples?” Madoka asked, interrupting her friend in a fit of panic.
There was a pause, then Misa's voice came up from below. “Oops.”
“You weren't supposed to drop them. He said that bad things would happen if they were dropped.” Madoka's voice was raising in alarm as she hurriedly fiddled with the controls.
“I suppose it was my fault.” Sakurako said.
“How can it be your fault?” Madoka glanced at Sakurako while she flipped a pair of switches.
“Well, this is Misa's skirt I'm wearing.”
Madoka sighed, then pushed a lever and started typing something on a panel, “Well we have landed somewhere. I believe the term is Emergency Materialization. We should be in the safest spot that the TARDIS could find.” As she pushed a different lever the lights were restored to their former brightness.
By that time that Misa had climbed up the join her friends, so all three of them could see exactly where the TARDIS had materialized.
Right in front of them. Near the door to the outside.
“This is bad...right?” Sakurako asked.
“That's my guess Saku.” Madoka said as she slowly made her way to the exterior of the TARDIS.
“What are you going to do?” Misa asked.
“I want to see if I think happened has happened.” Madoka said, not taking her eyes off the exterior doors she was approaching. When she was in front of them, she opened the doors and stepped inside.
Whereupon she appeared by the interior doors a few feet away.
Madoka frowned as her friends watched, then she opened one of the interior doors behind her, stuck her arm through, and waved it.
All three could see Madoka's arm sticking out through the external doors waving around.
“Ok. That is not supposed to happen right?” asked Misa.
Madoka turned and exited through the interior doors to enter through the exterior doors near her friends. She closed the exterior doors and turned to Misa. “That's right. That is not supposed to happen. But now it has.”
She glared at Misa as she continued, “The safest spot that the TARDIS could find to materialize just happened to be inside itself. Which means we are in a loop of space. The inside of the TARDIS is now connected to the outside thanks to you dropping that thermocouple. No one can get in or out.”
All three then heard the interior doors open. All three turned toward the noise.
All three were surprised to see Haruna stumbling into the TARDIS with a expression of confusion and surprise on her face.
As all three of the cheerleaders stared at this development, Haruna seemed to regain her composure.
“What was that for?” she asked.
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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rikalous
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Sep 29 2012, 07:22 PM
Post #3
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Creature of the Deep
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Some joker divided by zero, didn't they.
So why is Time Lord Negi called the Doctor, and not the Teacher?
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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UberNimrod
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Sep 29 2012, 10:13 PM
Post #4
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Green
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Because first of all, it's Doctor Who!
Seriously, look at this: Red Nose Day 2011 Part 1
Secondly, I KNOW there is a snippet somewhere in URAE that mentions the 10th Doctor stepping into 2/3A's classroom. But I can't find the snippet!
[cries]
OM might know where it is. I tried looking for over 30 minutes.
Thirdly, Teacher Who makes no sense whatsoever.
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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rikalous
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Sep 29 2012, 11:23 PM
Post #5
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Creature of the Deep
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But...but he's not a doctor! Heck, I don't even think he's an accredited teacher, but one of the translations for his pactio title has him as a teacher, and the other has him as a master, which even my limited knowledge of Doctor who tells me is very much taken.
Sensei Who, maybe? Who-sensei?
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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UberNimrod
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Sep 30 2012, 06:03 AM
Post #6
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Green
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I hate to actually come out with a spoiler, but here goes...
There will be a Sensei, just as there is (or rather was) a Doctor in "Long Dash Negima."
And that is all I am going to say without pulling the curtains back too far.
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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OverMaster
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Sep 30 2012, 06:19 AM
Post #7
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Oboy. Whee.
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As I've said before, I barely have any knowledge on Dr. Who, so I don't think I ever wrote that. Maybe SCM did a cutaway I'm forgetting, or it was part of Time and Time Again with Feeling! instead.
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What is the point anymore?
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UberNimrod
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Sep 30 2012, 07:55 AM
Post #8
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Green
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[facepalm]
It is part of Time and Time Again, with Feeling! It even gives No Limit credit.
Soooo...he gets the credit/blame. Simple as that.
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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No Limit
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Sep 30 2012, 07:49 PM
Post #9
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Knight Of Randomness
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Bwa-ha-ha-ha, my snippet had an unforeseeable affect on someone that I totally planned.
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Check out my dA.
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EvaUnit01
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Oct 1 2012, 08:40 AM
Post #10
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Well-Meaning Madman
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- No Limit
- Sep 30 2012, 11:49 PM
Bwa-ha-ha-ha, my snippet had an unforeseeable affect on someone that I totally planned.
But... how can you plan for something unforseeable? And several months or years in advance, at that?
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Let's Play Parasite Eve?
I read Chunin Exam Day, so y'all don't have to.
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OverMaster
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Oct 1 2012, 08:57 AM
Post #11
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Oboy. Whee.
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... You're doing it on fucking purpose, aren't you.
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What is the point anymore?
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UberNimrod
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Oct 1 2012, 12:19 PM
Post #12
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Green
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... And shouldn't it be 'effect'?
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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rikalous
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Oct 1 2012, 12:27 PM
Post #13
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Creature of the Deep
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Did you have an emotion from the snippet? That would make it grammatically bizarre but technically accurate.
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Let's Watch Nanoha Wits, magic, and hardboiled monologues. My other claims to fame.
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UberNimrod
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Oct 2 2012, 04:24 PM
Post #14
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Green
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Here we go. Chapter 2 of Space and Time, Negima Style. Got it done before heading out on the road tomorrow. Comments about grammar, mistakes, and bad logic welcome.
So far 15 hours with no Tylenol. Go me!
- Quote:
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Chapter 2 Time
“What was that for?” Haruna asked.
“What was what for?” Madoka replied as Sakurako and Misa stared at Haruna in confusion.
Haruna glared at the cheerleader, “You shoved me in here...wait, where am I?” She glanced around the area as she finished her question, confusion evident on her face.
“You're here in the TARDIS.” said Sakurako.
“But you shoved me into the TARDIS?” Haruna asked.
“Hold on. Explain everything that happened up to me shoving you into the TARDIS.” Madoka said.
“Well, the lights went out while we were sorting one of the shelves in the Library, so we came to see what happened. As soon as we stepped in, you grabbed me and shoved me into...” Haruna's voice trailed off as she pointed to the external shell of the TARDIS, confusion still written on her face.
“Wait. We?” Madoka asked.
At that, the sound of multiple people running became evident. All of them turned to the source as Yue and Nodoka, running behind Haruna entered the control room.
“What happened with the...” Haruna started to say.
Madoka didn't give her the chance to finish her question before grabbing her and shoving her through the external doors of the TARDIS. This prompted five people to ask roughly the same question.
“What was that for?”
“Continuity.” Madoka replied.
“Huh?” asked Misa.
“We have to maintain the established chain of events.” Madoka elaborated. “Otherwise the timeline will collapse, and we would all die. Or something worse.”
“Worse?” Sakurako asked.
“Two Harunas.” Madoka said.
“That would be bad.” Yue said.
“Hey!” Haruna said, glaring at everyone.
“Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but what's happened?” Nodoka asked.
“Misa broke things.” Sakurako said.
“You're wearing my skirt.” Misa glared at Sakurako, who giggled in embarrassment.
“Will both of you knock it off?” Madoka said. Feeling frustrated, she stepped towards the main controls.
Only to turn around as everyone turned toward the sound of the interior doors opening, followed by Nodoka and Yue coming up behind Haruna.
Naturally the original Nodoka and Yue were surprised. Before either of them could react however, Madoka asked, “What are both of you doing?”
“You told us to enter the TARDIS.” Yue said, her expression remaining neutral as always, even as her counterpart tried to appear calm.
“When?” Madoka asked them, turning herself so she was facing them fully.
“Just seconds ago, from our perspective.” Nodoka said.
Madoka appeared ready to pull her hair in frustration, but stopped as the second Nodoka continued, “Apparently, the outer hull of the TARDIS is drifting forwards in Time, which means if you entered the TARDIS now, you would go back into the past just a little.”
“Wait. Does that mean if you leave the TARDIS, you go into the future?” Haruna asked.
“Don't try it Paru.” the cheerleaders told her.
Whereupon the external doors opened and Haruna's face could be seen peeking out by everyone except by the Library Trio near the internal doors.
The cheerleaders didn't hesitate. “We just told you not to do that!” they yelled at the external doors. Haruna's head drew back quickly and the external doors shut.
The second Yue and Nodoka then spoke up. “That is our cue to enter the TARDIS.” Haruna stepped forward to look at the external doors, evidently trying to figure out why the cheerleaders had yelled.
“It is?” Madoka asked the second Yue and Nodoka.
The second Yue nodded as she said, “When that happened, you told us to go ahead and go in.”
Madoka turned to the original Yue and Nodoka, “You two. Inside. Now.”
“We become them then right?” Nodoka asked.
As Madoka nodded in the affirmative, Yue and Nodoka walked down to the external doors and went inside.
By this point Haruna appeared frustrated. She stepped back past the other members of the Trio, opened the inside doors and appeared to be looking through them for an instant before she withdrew her head suddenly and closed the doors.
Madoka watched with approval. As she turned to return to the main controls, Yue asked, “Now what?”
“You three stay right there.” Madoka replied as she flipped some switches on a panel. “I need to remember how our Sensei said to do this.”
“Do what?” Sakurako asked.
“Set up a controlled temporal implosion.” Madoka replied as she started searching the controls. “I need to reset the TARDIS and that is the only way to do it. But I can't remember the lever I need to pull to control the implosion.” she said as panic began to set into her voice. Misa stared at her friend, “You can't remember which lever?”
“No!” Madoka said circling the controls like a tiger pacing in its cage.
Everyone suddenly turned as the internal doors opened and Madoka ran in, closing the doors behind her. As the original Madoka's eyes opened in surprise, the new arrival said to her past self, “That odd lever on the third panel!”
“Got it!” she said as she worked the lever, then ran to the external doors and through them.
One second after the external doors closed, the TARDIS started making noises as if everything was working again. The TARDIS's light at the top started flashing, and the TARDIS itself gradually faded from view.
Madoka sighed with relief. “Normal flight resumed. The TARDIS is no longer inside itself, and the localized time field is no longer about to implode and rip a hole in all causality. Now, just one final thing to do.”
“And that is?” Haruna asked.
Madoka turned and glared at the other two cheerleaders with murderous intent. “Kill those two for creating this whole mess!”
Misa and Sakurako both promptly ran away screaming with Madoka hot on their heels. The Library Trio watched them go.
“What do you suppose happened?” Nodoka asked.
“With those three, who knows?” Yue said.
“We'll find out eventually. All we have to do is wait for them to calm down.” Haruna said. “So, shall we go to bed? They'll probably be calmer in the morning.”
“The last shelf can wait until then I suppose.“ Yue said, as all three started in the direction that the cheerleaders ran off in.
“Think Sensei will tell us what a controlled temporal implosion is?” Haruna asked.
“Probably not if you ask.” Yue replied.
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Madman with a box? I'm a madman with a semi, a pretzel bender and a Heart of Gold!
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EvaUnit01
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Oct 8 2012, 08:36 AM
Post #15
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Well-Meaning Madman
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- OverMaster
- Oct 1 2012, 12:57 PM
... You're doing it on fucking purpose, aren't you.
Doing what on purpose?
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Let's Play Parasite Eve?
I read Chunin Exam Day, so y'all don't have to.
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