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| Damn Cranky's Back Door Blues--O.T. Sorry | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 8 2009, 01:47 PM (227 Views) | |
| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 01:47 PM Post #1 |
Admin--Chief Crank
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Greetings, my fellow dioramists! Well, since most of you know about what has been ailing me I figured I'd give you an update. Turns out what I have is not the old roids, but something a bit more painful and rare. It even makes me cringe to say it: I have fissures! Oh, yeah, it feels as bad as it sounds. Anyway, I went to the emergency surgeon this morning, and he worked me over (I'll spare you the details) and verified my primary's diagnosis. So the bottom line (see, I gotta give Ken Hamilton a lot to laugh about and make puns over) is I gotta stay put for a few days and heal up . . . although it might end up being a couple of weeks. I hope recovery is sooner rather than later. I'm anxious to get back to the bench! Anyway, just in case you were wondering why I was not hanging out on the forum as often as I do. Sorry. |
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| nkhandekar | Oct 8 2009, 01:59 PM Post #2 |
Advanced Member
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You poor thing. I hope you heal up quickly and recover fully. I'll leave all the bad jokes to Ken! |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 02:09 PM Post #3 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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Thank you, NK--your words are exactly the ones my primary doctor uttered after she diagnosed my condition. POOR THING!!! I would not wish this upon my worse enemy!!! If you hear howling in the middle of the night, it might not be a wolf complaining to the moon!!! 
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| mnapoleon | Oct 8 2009, 03:06 PM Post #4 |
Advanced Member
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OH NO V!!!!!!! Been there DONE THAT!!! Unfortunatly! Man, I had never had sooooo much pain in my life. I still have recurring episodes and immediately head for the metamucil and it will usually heal within a couple days. They even "opened" me up a little more when I had this done (15 years ago). I know what your going through buddy boy and I feel your pain... Enjoy the sitz baths!!!! 
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 03:14 PM Post #5 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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Thanks, brother!!! Yeah, a-sitz-bathing I have gone! And gone! And gone!!!    Just like the doctor said: POOR THING!!! I could have sworn she had a tear in her eyes!!! 
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| mnapoleon | Oct 8 2009, 03:23 PM Post #6 |
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Advanced Member
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Funny thing happened when I had my surgery. While they were there, they took care of a few 'roids. Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the surgery and was looking at the anesthesiologist for what seemed like 2 minutes before I made a grunting noise to let him know I was awake. He looked at me and said "Oh, your not supposed to be awake". I grunted "No Shit" with my ass in the air, and went back to sleep! |
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| Bryan_M | Oct 8 2009, 03:43 PM Post #7 |
ADMINISTRATOR
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i am glad youre gonna be ok buddy!! thats great! i told ya my dad went through that too........he had a fissure you could put your fist in!!!, it started as a cyst, and went from there.......he was off work for 18 months because of it...mom nursed him back to health, and he was fine after it healed... take it easy, and relax, and for gods sake dont scratch your ass too much!  now quit cryin and get back to the bench and build something!............i know, im a jerk, but im so damn good at it! get well soon, without your ass you would have to stand at the work bench! bryan p.s. did i mention i am a jerk? LOL |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 04:06 PM Post #8 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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Ah nothing like tough love to get one back in to life's groove. Oh, my recommendation for anyone with any sort of ailment is don't look in the internet. I will drive you crazy with all sorts of nightmares!!! |
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| armyofchuckness | Oct 8 2009, 04:07 PM Post #9 |
Duke of Detritus
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Ow! Glad to hear you're improving. Maybe you can rig a bar on the ceiling so you can build off your bench like a bat! |
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| Bryan_M | Oct 8 2009, 04:09 PM Post #10 |
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ADMINISTRATOR
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or maybe a chair with a hole in the middle............... bryan |
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| khamilton | Oct 8 2009, 04:15 PM Post #11 |
Diorama Moderator
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Okay....let me get this straight. Virgil 'rhoids have morphed into Anal Fissures, which I had to look up to find out exactly what they are, which is a tearing of the lining in your butt. So, I'm sure there's a logical explanation why Virgil's butt is all torn up. (...is there anything you'd like to share with us, Virg?) |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 04:16 PM Post #12 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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LOL, actually my lovely wife bought me an eletric heatpad. Now I can take it everywhere with me. I can't wait to see the look on my students' faces next Tuesday when I go in to teach.
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| Bryan_M | Oct 8 2009, 04:17 PM Post #13 |
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ADMINISTRATOR
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YES!!!!!!! in swoops ken to bust your stones to pieces!!!! I love it! bryan |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 04:20 PM Post #14 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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All right, Hamilton . . . I knew you'd jump in . . . LOL!!! If you want to know the truth I've turned into a human mule. I carry modeling supplies to a few buddies in prison in my special pouch!!! Or in a desperate moment without heat, on a cold night, I decided to take an aquarium heater for a test drive! Brings new meaning to: YOU CRACK ME UP!!! |
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| Bryan_M | Oct 8 2009, 04:30 PM Post #15 |
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ADMINISTRATOR
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you gotta keep all that stuff outta your "prison purse" bryan |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 04:48 PM Post #16 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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LOL!!! Yeah, that brings to mind the old saying: DON'T RUN WITH XACTO KNIVES!!!! |
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| Bryan_M | Oct 8 2009, 04:55 PM Post #17 |
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ADMINISTRATOR
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at least youre in good spirits buddy..........i would be whining like a little girl with a skinned knee! bryan |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 05:08 PM Post #18 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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Well, I'm in good spirits because I was really expecting worse news . . . besides, it's one of those things that tells you how far your human form can go. |
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| Danny i | Oct 8 2009, 05:37 PM Post #19 |
Senior Member
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Virgil, I hope things get better soon. I battle 'roid's" now and then and know what a pain those can be. But I hear Fissures are 100 times worse! |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 06:07 PM Post #20 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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Thanks, buddy. Yeah, they are pretty bad . . . and what makes them so is the fact they take such a long time to heal. 6-8 weeks in some cases, and months if the problem becomes chronic. |
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| Mercman | Oct 8 2009, 07:03 PM Post #21 |
Bronze Medal Member
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You sure she was commenting on your behind. Get better soon Virgil, we miss ya. |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 07:04 PM Post #22 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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LOL!!! That's too funny! |
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| ronr | Oct 8 2009, 08:53 PM Post #23 |
Senior Member
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Nightmare of Nightmares......OUCH!!!! Virg hope you get to feeling better soon. Anyone who has been there Knows what you are going through. |
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| DamnCranky666 | Oct 8 2009, 08:57 PM Post #24 |
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Admin--Chief Crank
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Thanks, buddy. Yeah, it's one day at a time. |
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| Hollywood Jim | Oct 8 2009, 10:00 PM Post #25 |
Bronze Medal Member
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Oh man I had a small one of those one time and oh boy, it makes it hard to concentrate on anything. Virgil, I hope you feel better soon.... Reminds me of a joke I heard a long time ago. One day there was a power struggle going on in the human body. The heart said I’m the most important organ in the human body. And everybody better treat me right or I will stop pumping and you’re all done for. Then the lungs said wait a minute if I stop taking in oxygen you will stop beating straight away. Then the stomach said well you two guys need nourishment to keep working so I think I’m in charge here. Then the brain said, hey wait a minute I’m the one that keeps all of you guys working. Without my electrical impulses your dead meat. And so it went; liver, kidneys, muscles, etc etc.... Meanwhile the anus was listening to all of this and decided to prove a point. So he closed up and refused to open. The other organs went on arguing but never could agree who was the top dog. After a day or so all the organs stopped arguing and decided to just get along and be happy. But then they started feeling really bad. They all whined and cried and were very unhappy. And they all began to plead with the anus to open up or they would all die. But he would not. Not until every other organ agreed that he was the most important part of the human body. The moral to this story is that every time you get a good thing going, all it takes is one a..hole to mess it all up. |
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