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Opening Statements; Jazmine vs. Loretta
Topic Started: Apr 13 2013, 04:04 PM (246 Views)
Charlie Brown
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When you girls are ready please post your opening statements in here.
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Loretta Lockhorn
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HOLY SHITFUCK HERE'S MINE GUYS:

Hay y'all I'm so fucking lucky to have made it this far and I honestly never thought I would do it. Srsly I thought I hit a lucky patch when Joanie went inactive but as the series went on, I was like, FUCK I might have a shot. My game was simply socially-orientated and though may not have worked with the readers, hopefully it worked with you guys. And I have made some truly great friends here (Dick, Jaz, Jon, Blondie etc) and this is what I wanted to fucking achieve.

I may have made pissed you guys off, I may have made moves that have shocked you but I want you to remember how fucking friendly we were throughout the game. Fuck there's bitches that hate me like Calvin and tbh I'm not expecting a vote from him and I don't rully want it.

If you can look past I'm ginger, I'm shit at challenges and I fuck people off then cheers y'all.

Jaz best of luck babes and I'm looking fucking forward to seeing what you think of me <3333
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Jazmine DuBois
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I'm here <3 Loretta, now I feel like I wrote too much :cry: I didn't proofread this so sorry for mistakes.

Hey jury. I sat here for a while with just that written, because I was unsure how to approach this. So I've decided to just try to explain what I know best, which is how I played. So I'll start with the start of the game. For the first few days, I was very quiet- by day 5 or so I still had yet to talk to half of the cast and no one was offering me alliances so I was kind of like whatever: screw everyone, and I ignored a lot of people and complained about everyone to everyone. This all changed for me though when I ended up being offered my first successful alliance of the game by Dick Tracy <3 Despite everything that happened later in the game, he was my closest and truest ally and his alliance (which also included Jason, Rat and to a lesser extent Bucky), and I have him to thank for bringing me out of my stupor. I believe this alliance, despite the fact that it ended up falling apart, was the foundation for the rest of my time here. I was also offered an alliance with Annie and George, and despite what everyone else thought of them, I took it because I only cared about what I thought of them. And I liked them. This was when I first realized that I could get away with making a lot of alliances that may have conflicted with each other- and keep myself safe. I was able to ride out the next few rounds always avoiding nomination. I did make a few mistakes here and there, like when I won my first HoH, I ended up going to Wanda for advice about who to nominate and telling her my true thoughts about several people here only to nominate her. I don't know if she ever told anyone what I said, but I realized I had to step it up and make sure I wasn't sloppy at all. And I think it payed off considering excluding the final 4 nomination: I was only put up for eviction once. And that was because I allowed my pride to get the best of me and refused to dance like a puppet for Blondie :)

I think the best thing that happened to me was Jon's first HoH win <3 That round set up Dick, Jason & Calvin to go after Jon, Cathy & Rat and vise versa, and I ended up positioning myself in the middle and avoiding getting hate from either side. I went to Jon and pretended like I hated Dick and Jason and felt so betrayed by them, while going back to Dick and telling him how Jon & Rat had to go ASAP. Since Dick was my closest ally, my alliance with Jon was originally just supposed to be strategy in case he won again, but I ended up forming a genuine relationship with him. It made it harder for me to try and get him out, but I ended up doing it anyways, because it was the smart thing for me to do. It helped that neither "side" really wanted to talk to the other, because it meant that I could really get away with making conflicting promises and deals- and throw HoHs until it was safer. I liked being in the middle, and it helped that I had Bucky as a close ally with me to confide in. But eventually he ended up being my main competition and I had to get rid of. I think the most important thing I did overall was to never burn bridges with anyone. Even when I accidentally let my anger get the best of me and fought with Cathy publicly, I told her it was just because I wanted to have some fun and ended up forging a short-lived female alliance with her and Blondie.

I did lie sometimes, and I shit-talked a lot of people, but despite this I believe I made a true personal connection with almost everyone here. I think the most important thing that I did was to keep positive relationships with as many people as I could. It was my goal to be everyone's go-to girl and to be everyone's best ally. And then if I wasn't, I would try my best to get rid of who was in my way. That is the biggest reason that I wanted Jason and Rat out. Because they were who were I perceived to be Dick and Jon's closest allies respectively. I figured with the two of them out, they wouldn't have anywhere to turn to but me. It was a bit dangerous, but around the final 7 or so I started to make final 2 deals with everyone and to cement trust in the relationships that I had built with them. I ended up making official final 2 deals with Dick, Bucky, Loretta and Jon, and I felt pretty confident about them being true to it. But above all, I had a dream endgame in mind- and that was a final 2 with Loretta. Everything I did from that point on was to get to the end with her. I thought I would be overshadowed if I went to the end with Dick or Jon, and that if I went with Bucky, he would easily get votes that I would have a hard time getting. I thought I would have the best chance of winning against Loretta, because despite being abysmal at challenges, she had a reputation of being fickle and wishy washy and to the best of my knowledge, some people here had lost a lot of respect for her. I thought that even if people didn't like me, maybe if they even feel betrayed by me- hopefully they would respect me. I didn't build my game around winning competitions or being some dominant and visible force. But I tried to build my game around close relationships with people and smart decisions. Overall I think it says something that I only had to face the possibility of eviction one time this entire game, and stayed very easily because of the personal relationship I built with Loretta. So like I guess just ask me whatever you want, and feel free to be as rude and bitchy as you like. I look forward to it. Thanks <3
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Charlie Brown
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I will give the jury some time to read the opening statements and then they will begin their questionings. I'll open this up to them at 8:42
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Loretta Lockhorn
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My Opening Statement was so shit compared to Jaz's
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Blondie Bumstead
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I love your opening statements girls~ ^_^ They're so ~different~ ^_^
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Loretta Lockhorn
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Blondie Bumstead,Apr 14 2013
12:48:52 AM
I love your opening statements girls~ ^_^ They're so ~different~ ^_^

One's fucking short as fuck the other is how they played the game lol
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Charlie Brown
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And with that the jury questioning is over. Jury you have until 8:50PM EST to vote for either Jazmine or Loretta to win Big Brother The Funny Papers. You may change you vote up until 8:50 the winner reveal will begin at 9:00PM EST followed by The Cast Reveal.
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Blondie Bumstead
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Aw, poor Jason couldn't make it~ :cry:

I hope he at least can vote...or prevoted...or something~ :(
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Charlie Brown
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Votes are now locked in. I'll tally the votes for the last time :o
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Linus van Pelt
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I know who wins and you don't nah nah nah nah
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Blondie Bumstead
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For the last time, best of luck you two~ :wub:
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Jazmine DuBois
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Aw Loretta isn't here.
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Wanda MacPherson
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Jazmine DuBois,Apr 14 2013
12:37:08 AM
I'm here <3 Loretta, now I feel like I wrote too much :cry: I didn't proofread this so sorry for mistakes.

Hey jury. I sat here for a while with just that written, because I was unsure how to approach this. So I've decided to just try to explain what I know best, which is how I played. So I'll start with the start of the game. For the first few days, I was very quiet- by day 5 or so I still had yet to talk to half of the cast and no one was offering me alliances so I was kind of like whatever: screw everyone, and I ignored a lot of people and complained about everyone to everyone. This all changed for me though when I ended up being offered my first successful alliance of the game by Dick Tracy <3 Despite everything that happened later in the game, he was my closest and truest ally and his alliance (which also included Jason, Rat and to a lesser extent Bucky), and I have him to thank for bringing me out of my stupor. I believe this alliance, despite the fact that it ended up falling apart, was the foundation for the rest of my time here. I was also offered an alliance with Annie and George, and despite what everyone else thought of them, I took it because I only cared about what I thought of them. And I liked them. This was when I first realized that I could get away with making a lot of alliances that may have conflicted with each other- and keep myself safe. I was able to ride out the next few rounds always avoiding nomination. I did make a few mistakes here and there, like when I won my first HoH, I ended up going to Wanda for advice about who to nominate and telling her my true thoughts about several people here only to nominate her. I don't know if she ever told anyone what I said, but I realized I had to step it up and make sure I wasn't sloppy at all. And I think it payed off considering excluding the final 4 nomination: I was only put up for eviction once. And that was because I allowed my pride to get the best of me and refused to dance like a puppet for Blondie :)

I think the best thing that happened to me was Jon's first HoH win <3 That round set up Dick, Jason & Calvin to go after Jon, Cathy & Rat and vise versa, and I ended up positioning myself in the middle and avoiding getting hate from either side. I went to Jon and pretended like I hated Dick and Jason and felt so betrayed by them, while going back to Dick and telling him how Jon & Rat had to go ASAP. Since Dick was my closest ally, my alliance with Jon was originally just supposed to be strategy in case he won again, but I ended up forming a genuine relationship with him. It made it harder for me to try and get him out, but I ended up doing it anyways, because it was the smart thing for me to do. It helped that neither "side" really wanted to talk to the other, because it meant that I could really get away with making conflicting promises and deals- and throw HoHs until it was safer. I liked being in the middle, and it helped that I had Bucky as a close ally with me to confide in. But eventually he ended up being my main competition and I had to get rid of. I think the most important thing I did overall was to never burn bridges with anyone. Even when I accidentally let my anger get the best of me and fought with Cathy publicly, I told her it was just because I wanted to have some fun and ended up forging a short-lived female alliance with her and Blondie.

I did lie sometimes, and I shit-talked a lot of people, but despite this I believe I made a true personal connection with almost everyone here. I think the most important thing that I did was to keep positive relationships with as many people as I could. It was my goal to be everyone's go-to girl and to be everyone's best ally. And then if I wasn't, I would try my best to get rid of who was in my way. That is the biggest reason that I wanted Jason and Rat out. Because they were who were I perceived to be Dick and Jon's closest allies respectively. I figured with the two of them out, they wouldn't have anywhere to turn to but me. It was a bit dangerous, but around the final 7 or so I started to make final 2 deals with everyone and to cement trust in the relationships that I had built with them. I ended up making official final 2 deals with Dick, Bucky, Loretta and Jon, and I felt pretty confident about them being true to it. But above all, I had a dream endgame in mind- and that was a final 2 with Loretta. Everything I did from that point on was to get to the end with her. I thought I would be overshadowed if I went to the end with Dick or Jon, and that if I went with Bucky, he would easily get votes that I would have a hard time getting. I thought I would have the best chance of winning against Loretta, because despite being abysmal at challenges, she had a reputation of being fickle and wishy washy and to the best of my knowledge, some people here had lost a lot of respect for her. I thought that even if people didn't like me, maybe if they even feel betrayed by me- hopefully they would respect me. I didn't build my game around winning competitions or being some dominant and visible force. But I tried to build my game around close relationships with people and smart decisions. Overall I think it says something that I only had to face the possibility of eviction one time this entire game, and stayed very easily because of the personal relationship I built with Loretta. So like I guess just ask me whatever you want, and feel free to be as rude and bitchy as you like. I look forward to it. Thanks <3

I did tell Cathy and Jon that as soon as you told me.
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