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What choice do I have?
Topic Started: Jan 7 2018, 09:40 PM (81 Views)
Jill Park
[ * ]
I tossed and I turned.

All night.

Restless. Alone.

Just like every other night.

I'll always play a big role on the camera. Big mouth. Full of myself. But, when I get back home, can I look myself in the mirror? Can I sleep at night? The answer is pretty obvious right now.

This empty life is sometimes unbearable. At times, perhaps not worth any of it. A large trust fund and huge inheritance doesn't make things any better. I don't worry about certain things that everyday people would, financially. But, I still cannot continue to live this charade. But really, what choice do I have?

Jill Park turns over in her bed. She rolls back and forth a couple times in each direction before finally giving in. With a grunt she sits up, showing she is wearing a thin white, lace nightshirt, and little else.

Her face is very much unlike what you may see on camera. Before a rigorous cosmetic regimine. Her hair is a tangled mess and black bags appear under each of her eyes. She walks over to a tall, oval stand-up mirror that is positioned just to the right of her bedroom door. As she walks over, you get a glimpse of her bedroom, which is littered with different acrticles of clothing(and the odd wine bottle).

Jill stares at the mirror for what seems like an eternity in her mind. Staring at every single imperfection she sees in her body. Most things other people wouldn't even notice about her. They drive her mad. For someone with a larger than life personality in public, and an apparent ego that is arguably unrivalled, she is nothing but a scared little girl in reality. Worried about every imperfection. Every flaw.

She reaches over, pulling a hair brush from her dresser. As she starts to brush her hair, her phone rings. She glances over to the dresser where it lays, and sees who is calling.

It was Todd, her agent.

She ignores it. Her facial expression changes. She is not impressed. Her phone rings again. She knew it was still Todd. She didn't even look over.

Then, her phone rings a third time. She sighs and picks it up.


“Hey, Jillian.”

Jill scoffs, and rolls her eyes.

“What do you want?”

Todd can be heard chuckling on the other end of the call.

“I can understand your...frustration. But I'm calling about a contract.”

“Fuck off.”

Again, Todd can be heard laughing.

“No really, Jill. I'm serious.”

“What dump did you get this time? Last time you got me a gig, I won my debut match against 4 pitiful sloots, and then the whole place fucking folded.”

“Jill, I know. Okay? I'm sorry that happened. It's clear it could have seriously hindered your career. This time is different, okay? It's the newest territory in the Championship Wrestling Coalition. It's called “Sixth City Pro”. It's right up your alley, I promise.”

Jill smirks. She did like the sound of it.

“Alright, Todd. One last shot.”

Jill ends the call. She doesn't move from the mirror. She still simply stares back at herself. This time though, she is smirking.

“Its time to prove myself. Not to this new company or a new legion of fans. Not to my opponents and potential rivals.

No, but to one person, and one person only.


The only one who matters.”

Jill turns, facing out of a bay window now. All she can see is water. Home.

“I'm not alone in feeling this way, I'm sure. So many in this industry are lost souls. Unsure of who they are. For some, it's an escape from who they truly are.

I'm still trying to make that distinction for myself. Who am I? Who is Jillian Parker? Is she different than “ill” Jill Park? Or is it merely an extension of myself? Am I fooling myself by pretending not to see it? Who knows.

What I do know, is that I've finally been given another shot after the debacle that was Perfect 10 Wrestling. Another chance to make my mark on this industry. A chance to show I'm more than a pretty face and a hefty bank account. Maybe it's more for than for anyone else. But maybe not.

Nobody is going to see this pitiful side of me. They can't. I won't allow it.

From now on, the scared little girl that was Jillian Parker will cease to exist. She has transformed. She has evolved.”

Jill walks back to her standing mirror.

“Evolved into “ill” Jill Park.

I mean, really, what choice do I have?”

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