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Spar With Toshi
Topic Started: Feb 25 2007, 03:12 PM (37 Views)
dragonbountyhunter
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lost in thought call search and rescue
Name: Shoushi, Shoujo
Thread Type: Spar
Link to your Character Sheet: in sig
Link to Thread: Explosive Rematch

Summary
Shoujo and Toshi met things did not go well for Toshi

Stats you Used
intellect
dark
summoning
sand

Learn/Obtain anything?
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Mattox
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Eternal Legacy
A few grammar and spelling errors here and there, but such is nigh inevitable. Commas though man, Commas. You gotta use Commas. I'd rather see to many than not enough.

This one, seeing as I can see you put substantial effort into it, earns you an 8.

Seriously, Commas. You need to add a bit more punctuation to your writing, and it'll improve ten-fold.
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dragonbountyhunter
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lost in thought call search and rescue
intellect 1
dark 3
summoning 3
sand 1

I will edit myself
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