Welcome Guest
[Log In]
[Register]
| Welcome to Lost Crisis. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently not logged in. If you are a going to register, know that we often times deny gmail accounts because bots mainly use gmail as a registration to flood the site with nasty posts. So if you register with a gmail, make sure to post as soon as possible (Just 1 or 2 posts will do) and you'll be fine. Register or Else!!!! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Seryphus | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 12 2007, 04:31 PM (49 Views) | |
| Seryphus | Aug 12 2007, 04:31 PM Post #1 |
![]()
Braver
|
Name: Oichi Seryphus Gender: Male Age: 10 Clan: Oichi Village: Village Hidden Beyond the Crypt Personality: I am an enigma of sorts. Rarely revealing more than I have to, I enjoy observing opponents before engaging them so as to be able to exploit weaknesses and lapses in defense. I am a calculating and ambitious person that seeks always to get stronger. Appearance: Posted Image Beneath the bandages wrapping my forearms there are scabs from a long ago injury that refuses to to heal. At times these wounds open up and bleed soaking through the bandages. Money: 100 Yen Personal Status Rank: Student Chakra: 50 (Divide 50 amongst the stats you see below, remove this comment afterwords. Your stats should add up to 56 in total.) Mental: Charisma: 1 Intellect: 3 Will-Power: 3 Physical: Strength: 11 Stamina: 4 Agility: 4 Skills: Ninjutsu: 20 Genjutsu: 10 Taijutsu: 0 Summoning: 0 Sealing: 0 Medical Practice: 0 Weapon Practice: Sword Skill: 0 Axe/Hammer Skill: 0 Fan Skill: 0 Pole-arm Skill: 0 Instrument Skill: 0 Armor Skill: 0 Shield Skill: 0 Ninja Skill: 0 Jutsu Types: Fire: 0 Water: 0 Earth: 0 Wind: 0 Dark: 0 Light: 0 Ice: 0 Thunder: 0 Sound: 0 Sand: 0 Plant: 0 Bloodline: 0 Known Jutsu Ninjutsu None Genjutsu None Taijutsu None Medical Jutsu None Summoning Jutsu None Weapon Jutsu None Bloodline Limit None Abilities None Equipment/Items Weapon Inventory Kunai X10 Description: Light Throwing Daggers Effect: None Weight: Light Type: Iron Throwing Stars X10 Description: Projectiles with sharp edges all around. Effect: None Weight: Light Type: Iron (You may have a light iron-medium Wood weapon. You get an Iron version of it after you graduate.) Armor/Clothing (Do NOT edit this in ANY way) Normal Clothing Description: The normal Clothes the character wore in the description. Effect: None Weight: Light Type: None Items None History As a young child I was involved in a house fire that had been started by me and another child. As the fire spread the other boy was killed when part of the roof collapsed. I was found by people fighting the fire slumped over a smoldering pillar that had burned to nothing but coals. Ever since that incident the burns have never been able to be fully heal. |
![]() |
|
| Mattox | Aug 12 2007, 04:55 PM Post #2 |
|
Eternal Legacy
|
It's very unusual to find someone who's done his entire application in first person. While it's original, it may be offsetting for some. Change it if you like, I can't very well tell you that it's wrong. However, what is wrong is the following: Your personality is rather lacking...in fact, it's outragious to think a ten year old could speak or act in such a manner. I mean, it may be anime, but let's be realistic to a point. Didn't you read what we wrote for Appearance? You can include an image(Which should be posted as a link, not as a picture), but you still must give a complete written description. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it's not worth a description in a text-based RPG. With your current physical and mental stats, you'd basically be a cripple with a speech impediment. I suggest you consider changing them. And finally your history. Very lacking. It doesn't say how he got to Crypt, why he's there, where his parents are, his relation with them, or essentially anything beside that one fact. Come on, let's put a bit more effort into our characters, okay? You're going to be playing this guy your whole time here. Why not put some effort into it now so that he's actually fun to play? |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Graveyard · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
8:23 AM Jul 11
|
[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]








8:23 AM Jul 11