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| You Probably Don't Wanna Read This; Bowwy | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 6 2009, 04:17 PM (242 Views) | |
| Lucifer | May 6 2009, 04:17 PM Post #1 |
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Dynamite
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"Alright Iseul," she heard as a piece of paper was planted on top of her desk in front of her. "This is your new target." Iseul ran her hand across the table and picked the paper and bent her wrist towards her to hold the paper straight up. "I have to take out some bitch named Corinna, huh?" Iseul almost laughed, as she never had to mission to kill a fat chick. "She has a big bounty for this part of the city...so what the hell has she done?" asked Iseul. "Well," said Iseul's superior, holding his hand up to his mouth. "She raped a lot of men," he said before vomit leaked through his fingers. He removed his hand from his mouth as he violently shook his hand trying to remove the vomit. He fell down to his kness and hands and threw up again, coughing inbetween spurts of vomit. "There's only rape by a women if she's ugly, fat, or old. She fits two of the criteria," he said. "I see," said Iseul. "I didn't think it was possible...but guys could be raped by a woman....through regular intercourse. I could see if she sodomized them, but it was straight up intercourse..." "You have no idea of the horrors of a fat chick in the cowgirl position. Gotta see them nasty tits and those fat rolls bounce up and down. You lose your boner and then sex is awful and hurts...." -- Iseul left the building, quickly going down the steps and heading towards the closest chain of food stores. Outside of one, she saw her target, the fat son of a bitch named Corinna forcefully on top of a random male. "Good God," said Iseul in reaction to the 800 pound girl, "I'm going to need some help." |
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| Bowwy | May 7 2009, 04:49 PM Post #2 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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“JUUUUUUSTICEEE….SHAAAAL PREEEEEEEVVAAAAAAIL!” A booming voice exploded above Iseul as she stood over a fat chick sitting on top of a man in plain fucking daylight. It made sense, I suppose, because no sane person would try to stop an eight-hundred pound woman from getting what she wanted especially when she could make you vomit by releasing her smell by raising up her pits. The Moogle stood valiantly on the store above the woman. Luckily, for him, Corrina was not of his species, and therefore, his vomit remained inside because he didn’t have to imagine getting raped by her. He let out a laugh, and then jumped to the ground. He brought his staff up high and then swung it into her, only for it to sink into her skin with a thick PLOP sound. He let out a sigh, and then charged a quick Aeroga Sonic Boom and blasted the woman off of the man. She barreled toward a brick wall and easily smashed through it. The man on the dirt ground was already dead. His intestines were scattered all over the place and the thing that Corrina thought was his dick actually was the end of his spine completely curved the wrong way and straight up. What a dumb fucking bitch. The Moogle quickly vaporized the remains of the man with a Thunder, and then proceeded towards the woman when he noticed Iseul standing there. He scratched his head, a little confused, wondering if he had seen her before. Then he remembered that he may or may not have put it in her butt, and there was only one clear solution to this problem: Completely fucking ignore her. He continued towards the fat chick and started beating her with rocks and pieces of metal on the ground next to her. Hopefully he hadn’t put it in her butt, because if she remembered this would look bad for the VALIANT MOOGLE OF JUSTICE. |
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| Lucifer | May 9 2009, 07:48 PM Post #3 |
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"My God..." said Iseul, "This rabbit looks fucking familiar..." She couldn't put a name on it as she watched Nex strike his staff into her fat rolls. It was sucked straight into her crevices like a Twinkie is swined down like a fat chick. She continued watching the events ensue, watching Corinna smashing through the brick wall as effortlessly as sticking it in Bowwy's mom. Nex continued with his magic shit, as he burnt the dead man. C'mon, he got raped by a fat chick and Nex had to go and do that? He suffered enough for a hundred men already. "Hey...I remember you," said Iseul. "You're that fucking rabbit that tried having sex with me a couple of months ago." Iseul was walking over towards Nex when the ground started shaking. Her body was thrown off balance as she went to the ground. "What the fuck is that smell?" said Iseul as she vomited all over the ground. "That's the worst fucking fart I've ever smelled...." She turned her head towards Corinna, who had released all the magical restraints on her body. Her grew to be ten feet taller and gained ten times the weight, but the worse of it was that her clothes didn't grow with her. "Good God...I'm going to go blind!" |
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| Bowwy | May 11 2009, 02:58 PM Post #4 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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Fuck. Apparently this damn bitch remembered Nex. Hopefully she’d remember him as a lovable cartoon character for some cereal. As she spoke, the Moogle’s ears did not hear what she said, rather, they heard, “OMG YOU ARE SO AWESOME I SAW YOU ON TV! YOU ARE A RABBIT FOR THAT ONE CEREAL RIGHT!?” The Moogle began to laugh, and then the next thing he heard was “OMG I ATE SO MUCH I GOTTA VOMIT NOW!” And at that point she vomited all over the ground. Nex glanced over at his foe which had grown ten feet. “Huh…” He muttered to himself and then turned back to Iseul. “THANK YOU LOYAL CUSTOMER FOR BUYING THE CEREAL MOOGLO’S. IT IS A NESSACARY PART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST IN ANY HUMAN LIFE BECAUSE IT PROVIDES COOLANOIDS WHICH MAKE YOU COOL AND ALSO MAKE YOUR PENIS AT LEAST 35% BIGGER, SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN. NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO KILL THIS EVIL MONSTER LIKE I DID IN MY COMMERICAL THAT ONE TIME!” Nex turned, spun his staff, and then fired a Thunder directly at the woman. The electrical impulse collided with one of her fat rolls, leaving a black mark, but not much else. The large fat woman let out a scream and then projectile vomited hot boiling stomach acid all around her, chewing at the ground. She vomited a bit more and it sliced through a nearby buildings. The Moogle let out a sigh and then turned to Iseul. “DEAR CUSTOMER, THIS LARGE FAT WOMAN CAN BREATHE DEADLY STOMACH ACID. HELP ME,” |
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| Lucifer | Jun 21 2009, 03:56 PM Post #5 |
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"Let's see...normal ways of dealing with this bitch isn't going to work. I think I know the perfect way to deal with this," said Iseul as she was looking at this mother fucking rabbit thing. Iseul's eyes rolled from side to side, trying to look for the perfect store that they needed. "Just hold her off for a few more minutes, I have the solution to defeat this fat bitch. I'd also close my eyes if I were you, unless fat bitches like her make your friend bigger." Iseul turned around and fled from the scene, a music store down the road being her destination. As she reached the doors, she started screaming for them to open up shop. "It's urgent, and I need two microphones God damn it." The doors opened up upon her request, and they gave Iseul two microphones free on the basis that she gets this fat bitch out of the street. "Don't worry, I know the trick..." She made a dash back to Nex and tossed a microphone in his direction. "The powers of K-pop will make us triumph....except I suck at Korean...so I'll have to be singing in English. Just follow my lead God damn it..." Holding the microphone in her right hand, Iseul let her left hand run up and down her body, pulling her knee-socks even higher, pulling her mini-skirt up even higher, and even unbuttoning a few more buttons to reveal some cleavage. "Sadly...well, it's good for the males, but the only way we can defeat this bitch is psychologically." She brought the microphone up to her mouth and started off with a dissing verse, as if she was freestyling, but she was singing in a slightly fast speed. "You're so fat and ugly, shoving food down your throat, look at how fat you are, the only thing bigger than a boat. You wish you had my figure, guys crave my ass and tits, not even if a guy was drunk, would they ever go near your clit." Iseul pointed over to Nex and winked, wanting him to add something to the song. |
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| Bowwy | Jun 21 2009, 05:27 PM Post #6 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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“Hold her off? I CAN’T EVEN KILL ANY PART OF HER YOU INSANE FOOL! AND MY FRIEND IS PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS AND DOES NOT ENJOY FAT UGLY BITCHES,” The Moogle stood there as Iseul left, unsure of how to stop this beast, but then a moment later a microphone smacked into his head. He fell to the ground, but then slowly stood up, holding it. “How the fuck is this going to do anything?” He muttered to himself. Iseul then altered her clothing a bit. Nex shrugged and ripped off all of his armor, letting his 14 and a half inch wang fall to the ground. It was a decent day for wangage, on a better day he could exceed two feet, on a bad day it would cap off at about 10 or 11 inches. She then began to do some form of rap. Nex wasn’t big on rapping…or singing…or music in general. He wasn’t really sure what to do as Iseul ended, but he put the mic up to his mouth and sucked in a large amount of air. In that split second, he realized three things. One: he sucked at rapping. Two: He sucked REALLY badly at rapping. And three: It’s still pretty funny. Yo you vile piece of shit your mother probably thinks you have a dick I hate you and your stupid ass you can’t bend over and give it a lick Your entire life is a piece of fuck The only thing that had sex with you is a duck If you can reach your toes then it’s a fucking blessing Just stop eating all that mother fucking dressing He put down the mic and glanced around a bit. “AM I DOIN THIS RIGHT?” |
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| Lucifer | Jun 21 2009, 06:31 PM Post #7 |
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"Your landlord wants to terminate your lease, getting tired of cleaning up your fat grease, cleaning up the shit of the person that lives you, your daughter which is also your niece. In the back of the pickup truck, you took advantage of your blind cousin, he was the only one you could fuck, he said that fucking you was like fucking a dozen. I have to tell you incest is not the best, it's something your cousin can attest, I'm surprised he didn't suffer from cardiac arrest, but he was lucky not seeing your ugly face, them nasty titties jiggling all over the place, that's the case, he wanted to make haste, release his white paste, hope it went to waste, just so he wouldn't have a taste of having a kid with someone with his own bloodline it's definitely not divine that's the thought that coinside with the idea of suicide since you took his virginity away he was looking forward to that special day but the thought of banging a hot chick as his first was beginning to decay Just like a Frenchman he started screaming 'm'aider' It was like a hooker getting fucked without pay You not only ruined his life But your daughter-niece faces a lot of strife People laugh that her mom is also her aunt She wants the laughter to erode but it can't Your daughter looks like a menace needs a special trip to the dentist recieved those hillbilly teeth she can't smile at all It all happened because you kept on fondling your cousin's balls." Iseul looked at Corinna, who was trying to hold back her tears. "Yo, throw some more bars at her fatass. I think this is actually working." |
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| Bowwy | Jun 24 2009, 03:46 PM Post #8 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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As Nex finished, Iseul went on possibly the longest rap he had heard ever. A lot of it he wasn’t paying attention to, because he was focusing on how to kill his large enemy, but as she continued, he noticed that she seemed to be more and more weak, deteriorating in size but she was still ugly as fuck. As she finished, she told Nex to throw a few more bars in there, but he took that the complete wrong way and reached for his staff. “INDEED, I SHALL STAB HER IN THE HEAD WHILE SHE IS WEAKENED BECAUSE OF OUR HARDCORE RAP!” And with that Nex leapt up and shoved his staff at the large fatass bitch’s head. The staff went clean through, but she wasn’t dead yet, possibly because her fat had moved her vital organs away from her head because it was so goddamn ugly. “NOOO! COSTUMER!” The Moogle shouted, referring to Iseul. “YOU MUST BUST OUT SOME MORE HARDCORE RAP SO I CAN KILL HER IN THE FACE!” Nex improvised a bit while up there with his metal staff through the fat chick’s head. Uhh…you’re stupid and ugly Your mother bought you at Walmart She is really fucking stupid You look like an old lady fart My balls have less hair than your armpits do Your breath wants me to take six shits The stuff coming from your nipples looks like glue Did I remind you you have hair in your pits? “Urg! She’s not dead yet!” |
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| Lucifer | Sep 17 2009, 09:02 PM Post #9 |
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Dynamite
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It was working. Sometimes it was true, words hurt more than actual violence. In this case, this was all they had because of Corinna's extreme obesity. Her fat oozed out everywhere, making a most-undesirable sight to see. It's pretty hard to fathom how anyone got that fat in the first place, but this fat bitch defied all odds and got so disgustingly fat even someone like Nex couldn't get any wood. "Your image makes the mirror crack, your image won't make sperm erupt from a ball sack, not even a desperate man would give thought, so your last glimmer of hope is all for naught. That hymen will stay unbroken forever, never prodded by a human lever, you better go smoke some ganja, because a hallucination is the only way you'll get fucked by a namja*." "You, you rabbit-looking thing," proclaimed Iseul. "Try something now. I believe her emotional distress is causing her fatty defense to weaken." Corinna let out a loud roar as she tilted her head back and started vomiting up into the air, but all of her grease was exiting her mouth like sperm exits out of Bowwy's dick when he watches beastiality porn, jacking off with his buddies front to front. He's sick like that. Corinna's body was thinning at an alarming rate, getting rid of her special defense. "Hey, I think all that worked! Now let's beat the living shit out of this bitch," said Iseul as she ran towards Nex. "Of course, you'll do all the work. Look at my pathetic stat points...I can't do shit." *namja=man in Korean |
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| Bowwy | Sep 18 2009, 09:14 PM Post #10 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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Nex struggled with his staff, yanking on it, trying to get it dislodged from her fatass face, but to no avail. However, when Iseul began to rap again, the fat seemed to grow weak, and the weapon slid out, oozing. The Moogle puked a little inside of his mouth, and flew back as the large fat woman began to vomit everywhere. Lucifer probably just got a boner reading that, but don’t worry, he’s just a bastard. Nex spun his staff, charging his Thunder materia, and then let one fly at the fat bitch. The electric charge smashed into her stomach, exploding, sending blood, guts, and leftover fried chicken bits everywhere. She let out a scream of pain as her blood exploded onto the concrete below. Another electric charge exploded in her chest, exposing parts of her fat, smelly heart, that was leaking grease. The Moogle puked right there, his vomit reaching her, and luckily enough, it actually caused her a decent amount of pain. After wiping his mouth, the Moogle charged forward and began beating the woman repeteadly in the head with his staff. Blood, chicken grease, and tomato sauce splattered the Moogle’s body as he turned her head into something that resembled a fucked up, leaking raisin. The large woman fell to the ground with a thud, still leaking, and the Moogle landed softly on the concrete a few yards away from her. He let out a long sigh, and then glanced down at himself. He was soaked head to toe in blood, guts, grease, puss, semen, juices, and copies of Basic Instinct 2. He glanced over at Iseul. “YOUR RAPPING HAS SAVED THE DAY, MISS, CONGRATULATIONS!” |
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| Lucifer | Sep 18 2009, 09:31 PM Post #11 |
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Dynamite
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This son of a bitch actually did it, just like Michael Jackson actually sodomized little boys in their ass, though he still kept on thrusting even through the blood squirts, the sharts, everything. Corinna was dead and the day saved. Iseul felt like a super hero, but a lame one like Robin. Robin is just the sidekick that doesn't do shit, but still somehow gets credit along with Batman for the saving the day. Have you seen that fucker's outfit? It's fucking ridiculous...it looks like he's wearing a fucking speedo. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Making a super hero wear a fucking speedo. People would be afraid of him getting a boner? His metrosexualness scaring the villains? What the fuck? Back to Iseul, she was like Robin, but she actually did something, and wasn't wearing a fucking speedo. A fucking speedo. "Though...the stuff that came out of her is pretty fucking sick." Refer back to Bowwy's post, I'm too lazy to type that shit out. Though it would have been shorter to type that shit out than to type out my ranting of how I was too lazy to copy what Bowwy posted. Oh fucking well. "Who knew our rapping would actually defeat her? I thought the fat would be blocking her ears or some shit." What surprised Iseul the most is that Nex didn't try humping this fat bitch. Knowing how horny he is, she thought he lived by the saying "pussy's pussy." Nex actually has some standards, though, if you look in Bowwy's sig at the quote of Gal...yeah, what the fuck indeed. "Anyways, I'm not cleaning up this shit," said Iseul. "I don't care if I made her vomit, she made a lot of us vomit. She raped men for Christ's sake!" Iseul looked over toward Nex and smirked. "Dude, you're going to have to take a shower or five hundred. That shit won't come off very easily." Somehow Iseul didn't get hit with the vomit. Maybe it was her awesome rapping skills or the fact that she wanted to desprive the men in the area seeing her bathe right then and there to get the vomit off of her. There was no way she would walk home smelling like Corinna. Her [Corinna] body odor is bad enough that an old lady's vagina would smell like fucking air freshener. "Anyways, what's next?" Edited by Lucifer, Sep 23 2009, 05:13 PM.
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| Bowwy | Sep 23 2009, 05:00 PM Post #12 |
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MOOGLE AWWWWAAAAYYYY!!!
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“Yes, Iseul, what came out of her is quite gross, and the fact that the art as rapping helped defeat her is quite odd, but, alas, I am covered in disgusting juices, and it is NOT FILLED WITH JUSTICE!” His water materia flashed and the fresh, clear water splashed over the Mage, cleaning him of the injustice. After shaking out his legs, and styling his hair in a very awesome 80’s style punk-o-matic style, he flipped up the collar on his tuxedo and pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his Magical Moogle Pockets. He slowly placed them on, and then leaned against a pile of dead bodies behind him. He looked like a douchebag. “Anyways, what’s next is we leave, and we’ll probably end up seeing each other again at some point in time, even though the logical chances of that happening are slim, but just because Bowwy and Lucifer threads need to happen, and they’re quite disgusting. So, tell Lucifer after he’s done watching his stupid K-Drama, and after Bowwy’s done watching porn, we can hang out again sometime, kay?” The Moogle then unstyled his hair, threw away the sunglasses, and flipped the collar of his Tuxedo back down. “Much better, I hate looking like a huge douche,” He coughed, and then turned. “Hey, Iseul,” He said, and then turned around; casually chunking a large piece of Corrina’s bloodied body. Hopefully Lucifer will get this reference. |
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| Lucifer | Sep 24 2009, 06:04 PM Post #13 |
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"You're one sick mother fucker!" said Iseul. "You want to fuck the remains of Corinna? What the fuck is wrong with you? Is the grease a good substitute for vaginal lubrication or are you just fucked up?" asked Iseul. Iseul may have just learned that Nex actually does like fat chicks, despite his intents to prove he didn't. Maybe he was just in denial and would come back and fuck a few fat rolls here and there after Iseul had left. "Yes, and we must leave to a save point. God damn rules say we have to save our game to get our money. Our world is fucked up." Iseul hated the whole process of getting money. Instead of just receiving the dough like every other normal person, they had to go through a complicated process. Why couldn’t they get paid like a hooker and get the money on the spot. Well, I suppose the only good thing is that the players aren’t taxed. Good thing Barack isn’t the President of this world. “Well, Nex, this is my closing post. It’s weird how I’m in multiple threads simultaneously, but yeah, I gotta be going to some other ones.” With that being said, Iseul turned around and walked towards the closest save point. “Would you like to save your progress?” A menu popped up, letting Iseul pick between ‘yes’ and ‘no’. “Why the fuck is there an option for ‘no’? I didn’t walk out of my way to not save my fucking progress. What kind of fucking shit is this?” Iseul picked ‘yes’ and a bright light shone around her as her progress was being saved. “Alright, time to check my stats and info…….they’re still the same….” A message popped up in front of Iseul. “Remember, you must receive your divine blessings at a later point in time.” “You mean I fucking have to wait for a mod….I mean an upper being to grant me extra power? I don’t get it as I train and fight and shit like that?” “Don’t hate me, hate the game. I just do as I’m told.” “Oh well….I better get my fair share of money, too.” Thus Iseul’s part in taking out a fat chick was over. It wasn’t over nearly as quickly as Bowwy when he’s watching gay porn; it was quite the exact opposite. If it wasn’t for rapping, this thread would be dragging on, and who knows what kind of shit would have happened. Probably Nex getting stuck inside Corinna’s vagina, trying not to smell the putrid air and avoid the vaginal juices that rush by. And no Bowwy, I didn’t get what you were trying to imply. It really made no sense. Anyways, Iseul finally left the scene, because she was on her way to watch a Korean drama herself. |
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| [-Angeles-] | May 12 2011, 02:43 PM Post #14 |
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Ex-Turk
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Fare thee well Children of Crisis, we will miss you |
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