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You and Me and One Spotlight; ~~{[closed}~~
Topic Started: Jan 3 2009, 03:34 PM (401 Views)
Jareth St. John
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10th Year Heracles; DADA & Duelling

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Jareth ran a hand over his beard – a result of not shaving for the days, seemed like years that he’d been camped out at the bedside of one Lelani Zivanya. He didn’t like not shaving – it made him look ruggard and tough and feel nothing like himself, but shaving wasn’t exactly an option. He’d barely left her side since he’d learned she was here, and even then it wasn’t for long – and shaving was not on his mind. A shower was about all he could get through in those times away from her, and that was done mechanically – all his thoughts were on her.

He had rushed her as soon as he had found out what happened to her – well, after breaking up with his girlfriend that was – wanting to help her in any way that he could – only to find out there was nothing he could do. The healers were doing their very best job on her – but the injuries were severe and needed time and rest as well as spells (he supposed muggles had to get something right in the healing arena), and flushing the drugs out of her system.

That had been a bit of a surprise – but probably not as much of one as it should have been. Hearing that Lelani was on drugs should have been something amazing, something that shocked and dazed him (maybe even something that made him question his resolution even a little bit) but it wasn’t. Instead, it just kind of made sense that she was doing drugs – and while he was shocked that she was so far gone to have something like this happen, and upset that he hadn’t done anything and it would make her recovery that much longer, he wasn’t changing his mind about anything. Because he knew Lelani – knew she’d been busy, and kind of pulling away, and with what happened in the attack he’d probably be more surpised if she wasn’t doing drugs. (He was also thankful that he had friends who were interns in the infirmary and could throw him these tidbits of information that he really wasn’t supposed to be getting.)

And in any case, it was going to stop now. Because he’d been remiss last time – he hadn’t let her know just how much her almost death affected him. Jareth had kept silent about it, because it wasn’t something he liked to think about, how close he came to losing her, and he assumed it wouldn’t be something she liked to think about either. This time he wouldn’t care – he had almost lost Lelani, again, and this time he wasn’t letting her go. He was going to tell her exactly how he felt – about her, about what she was doing, about her near death experiences, both of them – and hope that it was good enough to make her want to do something about it. Make her want to live – make her not need the drugs. It was kind of naive to think it would be that simple, but he had nothing else to go on until she woke up.

He sighed, staring at her barely moving body – she wasn’t in a coma, really, but it would almost be better if she was. She was in and out of consciousness, but the ins were accompanied by bad things happening and he was pushed out of the way any time it happened. All he could do was wait until she properly got her things together and woke up for real – not accompanied by the frightening beeping that happened out of nowhere, the way to alert the healers that something was going wrong and they had to get here soon. He could really do without hearing that again, ever.

Jareth sighed again – it seemed to be all he was doing now, sighing and watching and waiting, but there was no way he was leaving. For one thing, there were no other friends or family – who he was proud to say had been visiting very often to see Lelani – here at the moment, and he wasn’t about to leave her alone. Waking up alone – what could be worse. For another he never felt right when he wasn’t by her bedside, always felt better when he was here – maybe it was love and maybe it was guilt, he wasn’t too sure. It was enough to keep him here as long as possible though – sometimes even pulling out his wand to do a few spells to keep him here through the night, even though he wasn’t supposed to. One thing was sure – he was not leaving her.

He shifted in his – very uncomfortable – seat and leaned back in it, lowering himself slightly to stretch out his long legs underneath her bed. He closed his eyes – red as they were, as red as they were blue now that he had spent days with so little sleep. He would just get a little shut eye – a light sleep so he could wake up if he needed to. Lelani would be fine – as long as he didn’t properly sleep, and even if he did (and he wouldn’t), she would wake him up and see him. He smiled. He would be there when she woke up – he would make sure of that.
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Lelani Zivanya
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9th Year Styx; Transfiguration and Business

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She could feel the heat upon her body, the sun's rays kissing lightly upon her skin as the gentle breeze cooled it down. Her eyes were closed against the harsh light, but she could hear the whispers and murmurs of the ocean, feel the coldness nip at her toes as the waves washed onto the shore. There weren't any real beaches in Chicago, and as a child with lack of something as good, she had grown to love it and desire outings at the beach whenever she could. She usually went with family, though t here were those few times with her friends, but today...today she couldn't hear anyone near her. It was just her the ocean, the seagulls, the sands shift with the wind and her own breathing, her heart. Slowly she got up, her hand going up to shield her eyes slightly from the sun as she opened them, looking all around her and surprised to find that she was completely alone. As far as the eye could see there was only sand and ocean in either way, no landmarks, mountains or anything that could give away where she was, and suddenly, she was growing cold, so cold despite the sun's heat and afraid...so afraid.

Run. Run, run run. It was all she could think of, and she did, for long that for a moment she felt she would die running and never have gotten anywhere. Finally, in the distant horizon she saw...shadows. She wasn't sure, it wasn't like a desert with its mirages, but it felt like it, growing more visible and solid and she continued forward. The scene began unfolding before her, a yellow and baby blue beach umbrella propped in the sand, several towels stretched out, both Jareth and Gabriel on them, laughing, joking about something or another, and she rose her voice to them, happy to have finally found them in this weird place.

However, they didn't seem to hear her, or perhaps even, they were ignoring. The latter though, she couldn't even think of, they would never do that to her. Yes, neither was as close anymore, but that was mostly her fault, she needed the space, she needed...she didn't know what anymore. It didn't matter though, not anymore, she just wanted them to see her, to talk to her...they were looking up, and she smiled, except their eyes were looking past her and when she turned, she saw as Elizabeth and Atarah emerged from the ocean and ran to them. They fell onto the boys' open arms, laughing and sharing in the good time, none of them acknowledging for one second the screams she was retching with all her might.

Falling to her knees, she began to cry hot tears, not understanding why, even as she tore her lungs out and sobbed madly, no one paid attention to her. Looking up between blood stained hands, she saw her family, surrounding the happy couples, and it was like the days she remembered with them. Except none of them could see her either, not a single one. Please...please just talk to me...please, just...see me. Finally looking down, she choked on her own tears, realizing for the first time her body, her skin, it all looked...dead. She cried harder, her whole body trembling violently, her throat raw and throbbing. But it didn't matter what she did, nobody knew or cared that she was there. Looking down again, she could see her body slowly fade. Afraid and horror-stricken, she stood, running towards them, but it was like she wasn't, remaining in the same spot as her legs and arms continued to fade away. Even her tears melded into the thin air as they slipped from her cheeks. It had been slow, and yet it had felt fast, her sight wavering, growing blacker as even her mind faded into the abyss that was death...

Moistened eyes suddenly shot up with a fierce cry falling from her lips, her breath short and erratic as the machine beside her alarmed her heart's elevated rate. “No, I won't die again!” she yelled in anger, zapping the machine with her ability 'till it stopped, people rushing to her room though she denied them entrance as she magnetically closed the door on them and locked it. Yanking at the cables, she stumbled out of bed, her broken leg and ribs reproaching loudly at such a drastic move, a pair of strong hand suddenly holding on to her, breaking her fall. Whipping around, two big blue orbs, reddened with exhaustion and worry filled her heart with sudden ache and recognition. “Jareth...” she was crying uncontrollably then, clutching to him with the grip of death, “please tell me that you see me, please, please” she chanted, her voice fading as she closed her eyes. Perhaps it was another nightmare, or another dream of the deceased, hoping that for one last time, she could see the one she loved... “I don't want to die again...” She leaned forward, into the safety of his arms and chest, no matter how false the illusion of his presence might have been, it was real to her, for at least those moments as she pleaded to him weakly.

If the feel and scent of him was just a dream...
What a beautiful dream.
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Jareth St. John
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10th Year Heracles; DADA & Duelling

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Jareth was dozing lightly, his body looking more awkward than relaxed. His feet were propped up on the little railing on the underside of Lelani’s bed, and his large frame was bend awkwardly in the too small chair. Shoulders hunched, one arm across is lap and the other hanging of the side of the chair – all that could make him look weird was his mouth open and his head tilted back. That would mean he was asleep much more deeply than he actually was though – Jareth was uncomfortable, but he was ready – as ready as anyone could be in their sleep.

He was determined to be there when she woke up – he wasn’t going to let her down again, it wasn’t an option. So he put up with the light sleeps that did nothing, showering in her little private shower whenever he could get away with it (the healers didn’t like it much, but they couldn’t get him to leave). A bum that went to sleep every time he sat down on the hard plastic. He was convinced that they had padded chairs, but didn’t put one in Lelani’s room to try to get him to leave – well it wasn’t going to work! He was determined to stay here, and stay here he would.

It wasn’t the beeping noise that woke him up – though that wasn’t a surprise. The beeping was a steady constant in his life now, reassuring him that Lelani was alive. It became part of the background noise now, just another sound in his day that didn’t satisfy him – all he wanted to hear was her voice. Just once more, just to hear her voice again and he’d be okay – no, that was a lie. Once more would turn into twice more, and he’d never want her to stop talking. Maybe it was melodramatic, the things he’d do to have her wake up – he couldn’t sacrifice anyone else, but sacrificing himself wasn’t a problem. She ignored it all – she just laid there, breathing away, reassuring him and breaking his heart all at the same time.

He broke conscious slowly – he was well used to people yelling at him, the healers had tried that when talking reasonably hadn’t worked – the fast pace of the beeping entering his brain. Then the yelling – then the fact that here it was, it was her voice and no one else’s! Jareth’s heart leapt as his stomach bottomed out – he felt like he could sing, but that if he tried he would empty the meger contents of his stomach on the floor. She was here, awake! She was alive! … Why was she yelling?

Jareth leapt to his feet, watching her with wide blue eyes as she stopped the machines dead in her tracks. He didn’t know what to think or how to feel – he just wanted her. He wanted her in his arms, he wanted to reassure himself that she was here, alive and awake, and okay. He wanted her to see him – and no one else, so when the noise of the outsiders got to them both, they worked in tandem. Lelani used her ability to move the metal into place, the lock clicking – but that wasn’t enough, so instinct told Jareth to use his own power. He waved a hand blindly, never taking his eyes off her face, the two pieces of metal in the lock melding together so no one could possibly get in. No one could hurt her now.

Except herself – she tried to get out of bed, and instinct pulled through for him again (he would have to thank his duelling professor, because that’s where he properly learned to move) and then she was in his arms, safe from the floor and from the outside world. He was probably holding her too tightly, but that didn’t matter to him right now – she couldn’t go anywhere else, he wouldn’t let her. He smiled down at her brightly, eyes tired and red, as she recognised him. Never had his name sounded so sweet.

He frowned when she leaned into him – of course he could see her! And die, how stupid – he wouldn’t let her. He picked her up bridal style, as though she weighed nothing – and was thankful when his mind caught up and he was careful with her broken leg. He considered putting her down on the bed, but that would be too hard for him – so instead he sat on the bed, Lelani safely in his lap as his mouth finally started working.

“Lelani,” he said soothingly – just her name, over and over again. He was rocking her back and forth, nuzzling his face in her hair – it couldn’t get any better than this. Well, maybe if the people outside the room would shut up and stop freaking out. “You’re fine Lelani, you’re absolutely fine. Nothing’s going to hurt you, you hear me? Nothing – I won’t let it.” Jareth was determined and fierce. “You’re going to be fine – you are fine. My Lelani,” he sighed.
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Lelani Zivanya
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9th Year Styx; Transfiguration and Business

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It all happened in a matter of seconds, not even enough for a fully realized minute before she was solidly in his arms, on the bed, being rocked back and forth to the soothing tones of his voice. She could never understand the ease with which the man could always calm the more turbulent nature of her mind, of her heart. It was both comforting and unnerving at the same time, especially in the beginning of her...zombie days. Oh my god, what have I done. Just then a rush of memories assaulted her senses, eyes shut tight against the onslaught, her body trembling and physically reacting to the pain that lurched deep within the confines of her soul. As it if it were a recap, from the moment of her death to the moment of her near second death in the car crash; everything she had done, the sneaking around, the lying, the drugs, sex and murders...Gabriel. Lelani's head suddenly shot up, “Gabriel! Is he...” she couldn't even bring herself to finish, choking on the word itself. But there was recognition in those weary blue eyes of his, of assurance that he could have been better or just as bad, but certainly not worse off.

She wanted to sigh in relief, smile, anything to let go of the tension so tight within her chest, but all she managed was a gurgled cry as a fresh flood of tears overwhelmed her. Closing traitorous eyes again, she clutched tighter to Jareth, drawing up closer to him as she wept onto his chest, so lost, so far from home...so far from herself. My Lelani He had spoken to her, had said it before the cruel insistence of torturous memories, but like an echo, it continued to resonate within the desolation of the darkness that had staked its claim in her soul so long ago. Did he know how far down his Lelani had fallen? Did he know about her selfish escapades? Her self destruction? The drugs, the men...the deaths? The strangled cry came harder that time, a sudden wave of nausea hitting her relentlessly as she clutched her stomach in response. No, he possibly couldn't have known, he wouldn't have been here if he did. It was a simple as that, no man...no man like her Jareth, her Bond, could still love such a tragic zombie.

Love? He had never confessed as much, not beyond friendly or brotherly even. So why was the feeling so insistent? Was it guilt that was holding him back, tying him to her? But then there was nothing for him to feel guilty for. She had loved him, painfully, for so long, to watch him end up with Tara... Tara, that's who was his girlfriend, the girl he had chosen to be with, but why... Did she hear right? Was there a truer form of love in his voice when he spoke or was it just her desperation shaping an illusion she wanted to believe in, needed to believe in...?

The noise and pull of the doctors outside had nearly ceased, understanding that there was no way they were getting inside anytime soon or without other means of opening the door. Perhaps they would immediately attempt in finding another way inside or perhaps they would leave them alone, for after all, it was clear she was till very much alive and she couldn't have been in safer hands. No where in the world could compare to Jareth's presence, his embrace...his heart beat.

As the tears slowed, she found the will and the voice to speak, its tune coarse and unused, “Jareth...” she faltered, calling his name for the second time, she continued without thought or plan, her emotion laid out bare to him. “Ah had a dream...a nigh'mare, Ah was a' the beach an' you all were there, but...ever'one ignored me. As if Ah didn' even exist.” She couldn't even look up, eyes still shut against the light as she struggled with the truth. The ugly truth of her emotions, of her fears. “An' then, when Ah looked down, Ah was dead, fadin' away like some bad mirage.”

She couldn't, not anymore, turning to look up at him with reddened mismatched eyes, pleading with a continuing flow of now silent tears not to leave her, not when she laid limp on his lap, completely bare and vulnerable. “You wouldn't be hea if ya knew the truth...Ah've wrong'd so many, I've done so much...hidden so much. Ah've lied...” Weak fingers, flushed as the white snow, dug into his arms as she clung to him, as if he were a mirage himself and would fade away if she didn't hold on strong enough to him. “Ah'm so sorry, Jareth. I've let ever'one down. If ya only knew, Ah don't think you'd be as forvigin'.” She hesitated, a look from his face, his eyes and she found the strength to go on. “An' Ah don't care if the timing's off, Ah don't care if it's just you an' Tara, but Ah just can't go on without telling you what Ah've been needin' to tell ya since Ah first realized what it was, somethin' Ah shoulda said long ago...” She didn't tear away from him, didn't dare and she could have sworn she felt her heart stop, breathing in the truth she was about to utter. “What Ah've been feelin' for so long, it hurt me, so badly sometimes that Ah would go numb. It was bitter sweet, this thing, and when it ached so much, I sought to quiet it, the numbness that allowed me to sleep.”

“But I've realized, this thing, Ah can't ever escape it.
Ah don't want to...”

“I love you”
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Jareth St. John
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10th Year Heracles; DADA & Duelling

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He was trying his hardest to comfort her, but Jareth didn’t think he was doing a very good job of it. She wasn’t relaxing in his arms like he had imagined – she was jittery and jumpy, as though she was going to leave him any minute. His arms tightened around her – as though that could stop her. It couldn’t make her want to be with him though – what she must be going through he had no idea, but he had hoped he could comfort her in some way. It didn’t mean Jareth would stop trying – nothing could make him give up on her – but he felt like everything he was doing was futile, and it wasn’t a nice feeling.

Her first words were of Gabriel of course – he had expected it but that didn’t stop the pulse of jealousy in his stomach. Not for the relationship Lelani and Gabe had – he wouldn’t ever say she couldn’t have or didn’t deserve that kind of love – or even that she was with him and loved him – it was jealousy for the fact that she might want him here instead, that Jareth’s place on her bed, arms around her, might be replaced by Gabe. Not that he would ever say anything about it of course –whatever Lelani needed she would get. He was just selfish – he wished that he was what she needed.

He rushed to reassure her. “Gabe’s fine, he’s fine. A bit banged up, but his injuries,” Jareth swallowed heavily – his eyes looked down her body, remembering all the damage. It had physically hurt to look at her like that. “He didn’t come out of it as bad as you. He’s up and walking around now. Probably with Lizzie.” Jareth liked Gabe – but there was a couple that just went straight passed his understanding. Who could argue with love, though. Jareth looked down at her, now unsure of himself. “Do ... do you want me to get him?” he guessed. He could probably find him – send Ryan out on a search, he’d find him in no time.

He didn’t want to leave though – and Lelani (though crying) was holding him closer and leaning into his chest, so Jareth decided he would very firmly stay here unless she told him to go away. It was selfish yes – he should be thinking about Lelani and not himself right now – but he needed her. Even as she clutched at her stomach and gave a cry, he didn’t want to let her go or let anyone else into their little world. He just rubbed her back as soothingly as he could, and wished he had paid more attention in the mandated healing classes. He would be from now on, that was for sure.

She started speaking and Jareth thought that was a good thing, for her to get everything out, so he didn’t say anything. Just held her closer when she called herself a mirage in the dream – he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. The words wouldn’t be enough – if they were worth anything at all – so he just rocked her back and forth again, shifting her body as close to him as he could make it.

He gave her a weird look when she spoke of bad things she’d done – as if she could have done anything that he wouldn’t forgive her for. She hadn’t done anything to him anyway – there was nothing for him to forgive. Maybe she had done something to other people – maybe she needed someone else’s forgiveness – but he wasn’t about to judge that. There was a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach that said it wasn’t quite as easy as all that – something in her tone of voice maybe – but he wasn’t about to concentrate on that now. Jareth wasn’t about to up and leave her now, not for anything – that was what was important.

He opened her mouth to tell her that, only for it to snap shut when she continued. Tara? Now Jareth was just confused. What did Tara have to do with anything? He hadn’t seen her in days – Ryan had asked her to stop by to try to get him to have a break from his bedside vigil. She had stopped by and asked him once – when he said no, she nodded, kissed his cheek and Lee’s, and left. Jareth didn’t think he’d ever loved her more.

What she had to do with him and Lelani now though, Jareth had absolutely no clue. So he listened carefully – his eyes going out of focus while she kept looking at him – and heard it. She loved him. Had he heard that right? Jareth’s eyes focused on her face – on her beautiful mismatched eyes – and yep, there it was. Love. For him.

Jareth laughed – it was a big bellowing laugh, happy and full of joy. He hadn’t laughed like that in a while – not since before Lelani’s accident, that was for sure. He laughed and his arms moved – one hand settling on her waist, the other cupping her palm in his cheek. She was cold, he noted absently – he would have to fix that. After.

“Lelani,” he breathed, beaming at her. “Lee, my lover,” he kissed her forehead and one cheek before resting his forehead against hers. “I love you.” It was a relief to say – and a joy. “I love you so much, so much. Always have, always will. No matter what.” He kissed her forehead again – he wanted to kiss his lips, but didn’t want to test his control when she was still hurt. “I love you Lelani,” he said again – seriously this time, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She was perfect.

But then he frowned – as much as he’d like to concentrate on those three words, eight letters, she had said some other things that weren’t quite as happy. “I think I got the better end of the deal though – my love for you never hurt at all. It was always perfect – honest and warm.” He looked down at her, uncertain again – his hand fell from her cheek. “I didn’t ... do anything, to make you feel like that, did I? Because I love you,” he said – turning serious again. He was a man with a plan. “And I plan on making you mine, but not if you don’t want me to. Not if you’d rather ignore a love that brings you pain.” He’d let her do anything at this point. His voice rasped. “I never want to hurt you.”
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Lelani Zivanya
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9th Year Styx; Transfiguration and Business

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Omega Electromagnetic Blaster. That was the term she had affectionately coined their abilities when combined. Since the first time they officially met, his ability had affecter hers and vice versa, and the feeling was indescribable. A whole new world of possibilities had suddenly opened to them in a flash of brilliance and every time after that when they practiced, it was such a natural fit. Never had she connected with a man in so many levels, both their abilities though similar, different enough to be complimentary. Being with him, it was as easy and natural as breathing and in the same way, there were times in which the urgency to be near or with him was nearly tangible. It was simple, it was beautiful…it was in her past life.

Thinking on the past, she realized they had come such a long way since then. A lot has happened since, both good and bad and some, too painful for even a brief thought. The remembrance, the emotions, it had all driven her to expose her heart, to bare it in its purest form before the man that had been the source of it all. And his reaction?

A bellowing laugh right in her face.

It was the last thing she had expected. In fact, it hadn’t been at all what she thought such a confession would warrant, but there it was, his laugher ringing uncomfortably in her ears. To say that it caught of her off guard was an understatement, jaw slightly unhinged and loose as she watched him incredulously with wide eyes, and just as the shock subsided, a new emotion took its place. She fixed him a murderous stare as she struggled to get back on her feet, focusing most of her weight on her good leg. She stood, distancing herself from him, trying to keep eyes on him as much as she could. If looks could kill, hers would have had him dust in the wind.

She wanted to send him a strong current of volts, to scream, cry, punch him in the face…everything and anything all at once. And just then, as she prepared to do them all in succession…she ended up doing the same thing. Throwing her head back, she let out a loud laugh, surprising even herself as she continued for a bit more than she realized. God they were idiots. It was a thought that had occurred to her before, but now it was more poignant than ever. Tears found their way from her eyes, hysterical laughter calming down as she finally looked down, finding Jareth’s eyes, still in a bit of a daze to see the very emotion he spoke about within his blue sapphires. His truth was as real as hers. It wasn’t love like a sister or a best friend, but as a lover

A bit at a loss as to what to do next, she smiled awkwardly. “Okay, Ah confessed, you confessed…what now?” She hadn’t the slightest idea. “Are you still with Tara?” Last she remembered, they were still a couple, flashes of images together suddenly flooding the forefront of her mind. It was then, more of what he said, began to sink in, all kinds of shock already resolved within her conscious. “No, it’s not you, it’s…it’s me.” Oh nice Shaz, explain it with clichés. Hesitating, she fumbled with her words, a rare occasion for a girl who had always been sure footed and confident. Not since my past life though…

“Wait, let me…scratch that” she said, beginning to grow flustered, more at herself than even at Jareth, “Please, you ‘ave to understand, before anythin’ else, it wasn’t dying or even comin’ back, but death itself that scarred me so deeply. There was no flash of light other than the green that came from Michael’s wand, no warmth, no loved ones waiting to usher me into heaven or even hell for that matter. There was nothin’, just…nothing.” Her voice began to crack under the strain, the misery and anger that she had long since drowned out surfacing again. “Everythin’ that meant so much in life, mah music, dancing, family, you, it was all nothin’ in the face of a black oblivion.” Tears resurfaced, thoughts and fears that had often crossed her mind, but never dared give them a sense of reality by speaking them out loud, suddenly out in the open, all too real and now they rung too loud within her own ears.

“I had discovered Ah loved you since before the invasion, an’ yes, it was like yours, pure, honest an’ warm. But after…” she bit her bottom lip, holding back the overwhelming need to sob again, “when Ah snapped at you, or begged you to leave me alone, I could see the hurt in your eyes, and in turn, hurt me even worse. To know that Ah no longer could place a smile on your lips or make you laugh like Ah once could, it…it.” She choked, shaking her head as she attempted to wipe her face clean of tears, “it was why I could understand how you ended up wit’ Tara. Ah was so angry at her, for such a long time, feelin’ betrayed, but even then, I could understand why her. She’s perfect.” Pausing, she tore her eyes away from his, looking to the floor, her cast, anything but him.

“The first time I saw you two together, I knew Ah could never provide you with what she could. She represented everything I once was and thought I could never be. It broke me. And each time after that, with any word of you two as a couple, every sighting, it just broke me a little more. So much emotion in mah life, so much pain and Ah kept lashin’ out at the people Ah most loved. I couldn’t take it anymore, I just wanted to numb out everything inside of me. Which is why I began to distance mahself, seek out the dark where Ah could hide, the drugs, the strangers…ultimately, even death at times.”

She fell silent for a moment, unbelieving the fact that she had said all that, to the man she loved. Would he still love her once everything had been shed into light? Would he still take her, broken shell and all? “Jareth Ah,” she looked up at him, searching his eyes, his heart, “Ah don’t know when you figured it out, whether it was before the invasion or after Ah died, but I’m not the same girl you met on the rooftop. I’m different…broken. If you still want to take me, if you still want to love me, you ‘ave to as I am now…” She stopped herself, taking a moment to breathe in, “Ah of course would understand if you don’t, but…I promise, if ya do, Ah won’t revert to the tattered doll, Ah won’t let death defeat me this time. I will try harder than before, to be the woman Ah was once, to be the woman you deserve.”

Looking down again, she began to feel uncertain. She had spoken volumes, perhaps to the point of having overwhelmed Jareth she feared. But it was done now, and the tightness within her chest was gone. “To sum up this tragic zombie’s tale, Ah ask again: what now?”

Though she hadn’t the faintest idea of where to go
She would follow his guide, follow his light
All the way to the heavens.
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Jareth St. John
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10th Year Heracles; DADA & Duelling

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The whole laughing in her face thing probably wasn’t the way to go – and it was kind of unlike Jareth normally, since he was an empathic, nice kind of guy. Laughing at anyone wasn’t really something he did often – except maybe Ryan, maybe his family members. The girl he loved, not really supposed to be someone he laughed at like that. Especially when she was confessing her own love for him – normally it was a happy, happy moment. Jareth couldn’t help it though – they were both such stupid people.

Lelani – quite understandably – was not too happy with him. He wasn’t even able to stop laughing, even when she moved out of his lap and away from him – he just reached out a hand towards her and tried to come back from hysteria. “Lelani,” he pleaded with her – though he was still laughing, even though it was calming down. “Lani, please,” he just couldn’t help it. They were so stupid – they were both so ridiculous and useless. It was funny.

By the time he had calmed down, it was Jareth’s turn to stare – though he wasn’t trying to kill Lelani with his eyes, like she had done to him. He just kind of looked at her laughing at him – hopefully not a laugh before she fried him senseless – and smiled fondly. God he loved her – especially like this, head thrown back, looking like she was having fun and enjoying herself. She looked alive – and when it happened so much, when Lelani came so close to death so often (too often for his liking – he knew it would happen, he wanted to be an Auror for gods sakes, they weren’t exactly a dangerless job) seeing her like this was amazing. Beautiful.

She was nervous, and Jareth didn’t understand why until she mentioned Tara. Dating Tara felt like months ago, years ago now – a friend who was for a brief time something more, but then she faded into friendship again. He smiled patiently at her. “No Lani, I’m not with Tara. She, uh-“ Jareth got sheepish and embarrassed here, remembering what Tara had said and done. “Actually, she’s part of the reason I’m here – she told me to man up and finally tell you how I feel. Broke up with me and got my arse in here,” he laughed. “She was a good friend.” Best friend he had ever had, really – selfless friend too, which meant everything.

He was happy to know that he wasn’t the problem with her confessing her love for him – but he worried when she said that it was her instead. “What – what do you mean?” he asked curiously, leaning forward, elbows on his thighs. Lelani didn’t disappoint, and started explaining.

He gripped his hands against his thighs at the appropriate times – she had gone through so much, it hurt to even hear about it. He wanted to reach out for her again, but he didn’t – if she wanted his comfort she’d come to him. He wanted to interrupt, a lot – but he didn’t, Jareth just let her say what she had to say. It sounded like it had been kept inside for a long time, and he wasn’t about to interrupt it.

When she had finished – asked what was going on now again, like she didn’t know, like she was insecure of herself – he snapped. Jareth didn’t get angry very often, and he hardly ever yelled – but he got quiet and intense, like he was now. His eyes were burning a blue fire as he looked up from his hands and into her beautiful eyes again. “Lelani-“ he started, voice furious – before he stopped himself. She didn’t deserve his anger – she didn’t need his anger.

He sighed and started again. His voice was firm but not too angry – more reflective than anything. “You know why I started dating Tara, Lani? Because I was so sure I couldn’t have you,” was that him that sounded bitter? Weird. “I was so sure you were happy with Gabe, happily going along with life – because you snapped at me, I thought that I couldn’t make you happy anymore.” He sighed again. “And Tara was my friend, and she was there – and it sounds horrible and it cheapens everything she did for me, but I never loved her. Maybe I could have, but I didn’t.

“But you, Lelani Zivanya,” he said – standing up tall, his whole frame strong and broad. He stepped closer and reached both hands out for her – one cupping her cheek, the other skimming her arm, resting on her waist. “You I loved. Deeply and truly and from – god I don’t know, near the beginning. Fully and with everything in me, I loved you – I love you still.

“And you will listen to me, Lani,” he said – his voice was furious again, angry at him for not making this clear and her for ever questioning it. His grip on her tightened. “When I say that you are already everything that I deserve – everything and more. You’re not perfect to everyone – but I love you, so you’re perfect to me. Now, I’m not being idealistic,” he said, shaking his head. “And I’m not being overly romantic. I’m a realist.

“I love you. I love everything about you – the good and the bad. I didn’t just fall in love with you because you’re a nice person with a pretty face – I fell in love with you because of everything. Because you try so hard, because you love your family. Because you can be impulsive and reckless and normally see the law as a suggestion instead of a rule. Because you do silly things I should hate you for, but I can never stay mad at you because you know just how to make me laugh. You keep making me dance and I listen to Justin freaking Timberlake because of you!” he said with a laugh – he sounded happier now, even though there were a few tears trailing down his cheeks. He was sorry for the both of them – for lots of reasons.

“I’m not an expert, but I know enough about love to know that I can’t just love you in little bits. I can’t just love the good, Lee – I love the bad just as much. I mean, I don’t love that you took drugs – and you’re not taking them anymore,” he said with a frown – he wasn’t about to bend on that. “But I’m not going to condemn you and cast you out – if I could do that, well then, I don’t really love you – not as my friend and not as my, uh, girlfriend,” he said, stumbling over that last word. It was weird to say – especially about Lelani. Not wrong, just would take some getting used to, after everything.

“You’re not different Lee, and you’re not broken. I mean, you’ve changed, sure – you’ve been through a lot, of course you’re not exactly the same! But you’re still Lelani – that’s never changed, through everything. You’re still Lelani and I’m still Jareth and Jareth loves Lelani.” He shrugged – it was as simple as that for him. There weren’t any ifs and buts, she wasn’t some doll he had to fit back together and make work again – she was just his. “What now? Now we move on, work from this point – and we do it together.”
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