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What's Sarcasm?
Topic Started: Aug 6 2012, 06:12 PM (482 Views)
Soulwithlife
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Emily had been walking around for barely more than twenty minutes, yet she had already eaten her delicious carrot and her stomach was moaning about her not finishing that vegetable soup earlier. She'd passed a lot of ponies on the street, but Emily wasn't quite sure who she was looking for to help her, so decided to keep on walking. Perhaps some sort of hired bodyguard? Emily really had no idea. The town was already a new place to her, so this Everfree Forest that people seemed afraid of was just another thing she didn't quite understand.

This is how, as it happened, the aroma of cakes and other mouth watering goodies drifted over to Emily as she sat on a bench, thinking over what to do. Without quite thinking about what happened the last time she had sugar, or that she currently had no money of any kind to pay with, Emily bounced over to the door, eagerly pulling it open and stepping inside.

Much like everywhere else in the town, the place was surprisingly colourful. Cakes of all shapes and sizes lined the walls, along with other confectionaries of all shapes and sizes, most of which Emily had never set eyes on before. The only cakes she had been allowed were Hearth's Warming Eve cakes, with their questionable dried fruit in them. Behind the counter stood a bored looking mare, impatiently tapping her hoof.

"This isn't a library, so I hope you're going to do more than browse."
Emily noticed that she had a strange tone in her voice that she didn't quite recognise. Maybe it was a unicorn thing? But Penn had never used it...ah well, best to introduce herself.
"I know it isn't a library, silly! It doesn't have any books in it! I just smelled the delicious scent coming from this fantastic baked goods and...couldn't quite stop myself."
The pale yellow unicorn gave Emily a spiteful stare, brushing a lock of orange mane from her eyes.
"Sarcasm, kid. Sarcasm."
"Oh, I've heard of that! I read the entry in the dictionary, but I never quite understood what it meant. Why would you ever say something and mean something else? That's just confusing!"
The unicorn behind the counter blinked slowly, not quite believing what she was hearing.
"You...don't understand sarcasm? I suppose your blondeness extends beyond your mane, then."
"What, you mean my coat? My coat's not blonde, it's grey! Are your eyes alright? Oh, I don't think I said who I am, did I? I'm Emily Flute, new in town!"

Emily walked up to the counter and extended her hoof for a shake. The unicorn raised an eyebrow, reluctantly accepting the offer.
"Pumpkin Pie. The pleasures all yours, I can assure you."
"Yeah, I love meeting new people! I mean there was this other unicorn that I met earlier called Penn, maybe you know him? He's a pretty famous writer, I can hardly believe he took me in as his assistant!"
Pumpkin gave a heavy sigh. "Look, are you going to buy anything? 'Cause I think I'm losing IQ for every second I talk to you. Did you want anything in particular?"
"Oh, no! Well, not from here, anyway! You see, I need somepony to help me through this place called Everfree Forest to see a zebra called Zecora. Do you know anypony around here that might be able to give me a helping hoof?"

Emily Flute || Earth Pony || Female
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After finishing up clearing Morpho's old hatching grounds, and that incident with the ruins and the blind unicorn, Gryilldae had found himself rather hungry. So it was that he had flittered into Ponyville and, in fact, encountered a mare whose coltfriend had just broken up with her. After feeding on her sorrow, he had of course apologized; she had, unusually, been rather okay at discovering his act, as it had calmed her down somewhat. Of course he had insisted on purchasing her some form of recompense, not out of any emotional or moral sentiment but simply to ensure fair trade was upheld with all Changelings. He could not hold his people to a standard he did not himself measure up to.

And so it was that Changeling and the mare, who had introduced herself as Silver Spoon, walked to Sugarcube corner. Spoon had rationalized, an eye for an eye, and a meal for a meal. Gryilldae had been quick to clarify that it was not a date, in any sense of the phrase, and that he in fact had no sex nor sexual or romantic urges. Spoon hadn't minded. In fact, she'd actually asked if he'd like to test that theory. If Gryilldae didn't know any better he would have assumed that the mare was attempting to court him. This was of course nonsensical as while his kind had been accepted in theory the events surrounding the equality were relatively recent. Still, he had time to muse over this as he finally entered the breakfast nook.

"Hey Spoony. Hey... Grilled Cheese."

Gryilldae's ear flicked once.

"A greeting to you, Pumpkin Cake." The changeling nodded. "I am here to purchase a meal for miss Spoon. What is it you--?"

"Let's go with a raspberry scone, shall we?" Silver Spoon smiled up at him.

"...how much would--"

"That'll be four bits." The unicorn took the money that the changeling proffered. "Oh, and while you're here talk to miss adventurer here. She's planning on going into Everfree to find our local zebra."

Gryilldae allowed himself a raised eyebrow as his gaze turned to Emily. "Indeed? The Everfree is rapidly turning into quite the vacation center..."
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Emily's eyes widened as she looked at this new pony, trying not to stare and failing utterly. He was like nothing she'd ever read about, with a black, insect like body with seemingly randomly placed holes in it. Still, while he was certainly a strange sight, Emily figured that he was probably friendly, and just went with what came naturally.

"Oh, hi! I'm sure that it would make a nice place for a holiday at some point, but I'm afraid that's not why I need to go! See, I'm looking for a zebra friend of mine and Penn told me that Zecora in the Everfree Forest might be able to help!"
Emily gasped, realising that she had forgotten the first rules of etiquette. Again.
"My goodness! I haven't introduced myself have I? I'm Emily Flute, writer and current assistant to Penn! Is your name really Grilled Cheese?"
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Masterweaver

The changeling's ear flicked.

"...No. That is an... unfortunate abbreviation by miss Cake. I am known as Gryilldae." He briefly searched the hive mind for any memory of a Pen, but there were too many ponies named Pen stroke or Ballpoint Pen or suchlike to provide a firm identity. Therefore he moved on to the next topic of conversation. "I do not mean to belittle your efforts, but on what basis do you assume Zecora would know where another zebra was? It is rather foolish to believe that every member of a race knows where every other member is; even amongst Changelings enough distance can hide a drone from the hive mind."

"Really?" Silver Spoon sidled closer. "I didn't know that."

Gryilldae looked at her, unamused. "Miss Spoon, I am a self-admitted manipulator and strategist with absolutely not romantic interest in anything. I highly doubt I would be a good acquaintance, much less friend; you would be better off seeking a more moral companion."

The mare shrugged. "I've changed bad ponies before."

Gryilldae's ears flicked, nonplussed.
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So, he was a changeling? Emily remembered reading stories about them, mostly of the campfire horror variety. Changelings come and kidnap your foals...Emily couldn't really believe it. And now there was one here, and while he seemed a little cold from his treatment of the one he called Miss Spoon, he didn't seem evil . Even if he did have a funny sounding name.

"I suppose it does seem a little silly when you put it that way...it's just something Penn suggested. When I think about it, Ashara would sometimes tell me about how she used to travel around the world, going on adventures, finding lost treasure...that sort of thing. I would have thought that any zebra would have heard of her in the same way that anypony has heard of Daring Do! That makes sense, right? And even if she doesn't know exactly where Ashara is, this Zecora might be able to shine a little light on where she could be, which might be just as well. Besides, if I assume that she doesn't know anything, then I've got no other leads...I've got to have some hope to cling to. Would you help me, Gry...ill...day? Is that how you say it?"
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Gryilldae nodded in approval at her pronunciation. "Hmmm. I am aware of another adventurer, one Fireflare, who has yet to have her adventures printed. Still, I suppose it is reasonable that such a traveled individual may leave stories of her adventures--"

"Of course he'll help you," Silver Spoon interjected. "He so desperatly wants to prove changelings are helpful."

"....I wish to keep my people safe miss Spoon. Appearing helpful is simply one of the best ways to--"

"Grilled Cheese likes to put on a cold front," Pumpkin Cake interrupted, "but the fact is every time he's fed in Ponyville he's treated his meal to a meal. Great customer. He's going to say yes eventually."

Gryilldae's ear flicked. "I would like it if you did not presume--"

"Wait, he's a swinger?"

"Oh yes, another mare every week. Stallions even, sometimes."

"I have no romantic--"

"Heck, I was considering calling the cops, this one time he brought a foal in."

"Oh my!"

"Turns out the kid had just been bullied to Tartarus and back. Worse then what Tiara used to do. Cheese got him back on his feet."

Silver Spoon nodded approvingly. "Gry's quite the helpful changeling."

"Excuse me, my name is--"

"So I'm sure he'll help you, Flutes," Pumpkin concluded simply. "Here's your scone, Spoony. I mean, guy's got a reputation to uphold."

Gryilldae paused. He peered pointedly at Pumpkin Cake.

"...Do I have some flour on my face or something?"
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Emily chuckled under her breath, remembering that laughing directly at someone was very rude...or something like that. Sensing that the changeling had been successfully bamboozled into helping her, the young writer thought it might be a time to do one of those things friends are supposed to do. Get their buddies out of embarrassing situations!

"Well, I suppose you're going to give me a hand then, Gryilldea? Smashing! I'll be sure to get you a meal sometime, since that seems to be a big thing with you. Come on, now!"
Having little experience with social situations, Emily did what she used to when she needed Ashara to come and look at something; drag her away from the current activity. And so, with a suprisingly strong grip and unlistening ears, Emily merrily pulled the changeling out of Sugar Cube Corner.

"Sorry about that, but it looked like those two mares had you in a bit of a pickle! I wasn't too rough with you, was I? Maybe I can make it up to you with a meal before we set off!"
Emily thought for a moment, only just realising quite who she was speaking to.
"What exactly do changelings eat, anyway?"
Edited by Soulwithlife, Aug 7 2012, 01:18 PM.
Emily Flute || Earth Pony || Female
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"Emotions. I personally hail from the tribe of Sorrow." Gryilldae was unmoved by the sudden display of friendship.

He did, however, pause. "Give a hand... I assume then you are from Manehattan? Or some other mixed city. Most individuals in this region tend to use the term Give a hoof, seeing as hands are not exactly common in Ponyville." This young mare seemed to be a walking contradiction. Brave enough to seek her lost friend in the Everfree, educated enough to know some obscure phrases... and yet somehow naive and lacking in information on current events. The changeling speculated she might not even be aware of the month long eclipse that had only ended recently; he certainly would not be the one to illuminate on the origins of the event.

"In any case, I suggest you remain in town for now and await your employer to ensure he... or she is aware you will be away for a period of time."
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Emily put a hoof to her mouth in surprise.
"Oh, my! I did say that, didn't I? I think it must have slipped into my phrase vocabulary when Ashara would tell me about her adventures in lands where most beings do actually have hands. I wonder how they pick things up without hoofs? It must be mighty tricky...in any case, I'm not from Manehatten. Just an island in the middle of nowhere with barely any sentient life on it!
Returning to the subject at hand, the writer decided to answer Gryilldea's worries post haste.
"And no worries about letting Penn know! He was the one who suggested I seek someone out, plus he's gone away on business for a little while. As for your lunch, uh..."
A little uneasy, but wanting to keep her end of the bargain, Emily thought of her mother, how she had abandoned her. How the memory somehow haunted her every night...bowing her head, Emily decided to tell the changeling her story. It usually set off the sad emotions.

"Since you asked if I was from far away, I really don't know where my birthplace is...you see, I was abandoned by my mother when I was a little foal, according to Ashara. I was a part of a family of nobles by birth, but they found out that I was barren...whatever that means, so my mother was bullied into leaving me out to die in the wilderness. Ashara found me and took me in, raising me 'till just a little while ago, but it's never quite left me. Even if her family was against her, did my mother really have to abandon me, alone and defenseless to fight against the unknown? Who was she anyway, who was my family? Emily Flute isn't even my real name, just one I took for myself since I couldn't remember my original one..."

Looking back up, Emily wiped a single tear from her eye. There had been enough sorrow over this particular event over the years...there were times, like now, when she couldn't even cry. She'd just reach a level of sadness where crying isn't quite enough, and it never would be.
Drained, Emily spoke in an uncharacteristically solumn and quiet voice.
"...is that enough sorrow for you, Mr. Changeling?"
Edited by Soulwithlife, Aug 7 2012, 02:05 PM.
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"...I appreciate your attempt to provide me sustenance, miss Flute, but I have recently fed. What you are offering is akin to giving me a quadruple decker cake after I have already finished an extra large muffin. I will, however, state that I feel your situation is not something I would wish on anypony."

Gryilldae stopped, tilting his head down to Emily's face. "You must understand, emotions are similar to a harvest crop for us. We are quite capable of eating any amount of any emotion, though the tribes are named after emotions they must consume regularly. However, large portions are... easier to gather, for lack of better terms, and therefore more filling. On the other hoof, we must carefully monitor our intake from any individual; consuming all of what a pony is feeling is identical to uprooting the plant, that is, to completely take away your sorrow would ensure you could never feel sorrow again, even in situations that would warrant it. That is why we do not simply suck victims dry and move on to the next pony; a trail of insane individuals would lead to easy tracking, as well as be rather unethical."

He turned away. "And, incidentally, barren is an old term regarding your potential for genetic children. To be blunt, it means you have none. You will simply never become pregnant, no matter how hard you try. Barring magical and medical intervention," he added contemplatively, "but at your age I am unsure as to what would be available."
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The changeling's final comment catapulted Emily out of her sorrow and into mortification. A deep blush settled on her cheeks.
"Oh...uh, I had no idea that's what it meant. I though it was just some sort of disease that would, uh..."
Emily looked at her hoofs, tapping them on the ground awkwardly.
"A-anyway, you can eat any kind of emotion? Then I'm sure when we've found Zecora out in the forest, I'll be full of happy emotions! Or really, any time when I'm not thinking about my past. Would it be some sort of delicacy for you, kinda like a really fancy dish at a restaurant?"
Remembering that she should really be keeping an eye on the time, Emily looked up at the sun once again. A little time had passed, but if they were quick, they could still probably make it in and out of the forest before sunset. It couldn't be that dangerous, right?
"I suppose I can ask all these questions while we're travelling, huh? Are we okay to go now, or do you have some stuff you need to sort out first?"
Edited by Soulwithlife, Aug 7 2012, 03:07 PM.
Emily Flute || Earth Pony || Female
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"All changelings can consume any emotion. However, they need the emotion of their tribe at regular intervals. And yes," Gryilldae noted, "different emotions taste different... although taste is not an accurate term. It would be better to say they have different textures... it is far too difficult to translate terminology to a species without the senses to understand it." He was already walking toward the forest; he could have flown there quicker, but out of politeness kept his hooves on the ground. "As for my own affairs, I can sort them at a distance. I assure you that the hive mind is currently well connected and I will not find it difficult to communicate with my people in any way."

Utopia. There is an individual with me that may need therapy in the near future. I am escorting her to the residence of Zecora, but we will be returned to Ponyville shortly thereafter. May I request you schedule her a slot to discuss matters?

"...I must again indicate that I feel this entire errand will be fruitless. Please do not place your hopes entirely on the outcome."
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Her sadness forgotten and mortification safely tucked away, Emily was her usual, bouncing self, hopping along with Gryilldae as he walked to the forest. Unsurprisingly, the changeling's concerns didn't worry Emily.
"Oh, but that's what I always do! I just move along to the next thing so fast, disappointment never really sets in. So for everything I do, I hope for the best and give it my all, no matter what!"
Emily felt that her sentiment was pretty clear, but she supposed he would need something a little more tangible and logical. He seemed to be that kind of pony.

"Look, it doesn't quite ALL rest on Zecora. There's this book I found at Penn's house, a family tree of some sort. I can't exactly describe why, but it just feels really...important. Connected to me somehow. If Zecora can't tell us where Ashara is, maybe she knows a thing or two about the book!"
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"Hmmm. And if you never find her?"
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Emily stopped dead, tapping Gryilldae to get his attention. She looked straight into his eyes.
"Failure isn't an option, kiddo! If you fail the first time, you try again! You fail the second time, try again! You fail once more, then you try something different...but you never, ever stop trying until you've succeeded. That's what I live by, and so should you."
Emily lost the commanding tone her voice had suddenly taken, returning to her normal 'loudly excited' level.
"That's what Ashara used to say to me when I said that it was time to give up, or something couldn't be done. That's why I'll find her."
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