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Calling All With A Good Wit And Humor
Topic Started: Oct 14 2007, 02:46 PM (898 Views)
Magical Gelatin
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El Presidente
Admin
Hi! I'm once again running for Class President (high school this time), and I've began to write my speech. I want to be able to separate my speech from the rest by adding a joke or two, subliminal, sarcastic, whatever is appropriate. My speech has to get approved, so I stress the appropriate part. I want to gain votes, not lose votes :P Let's see what the best speech joke EMF can come up with is! If I love it like a child, I'll throw in a prize.

Good luck!
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Flamingo
 
Go ahead and the tell about the mutilation of your pinky. We have until the end of the world to hear it.
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Dizzarth Stumpy
Pessimist
Moderators
student government is for homosexuals. work that in somehow.
STUMPY WAS RIGHT. HIS TOUCHING SOLILOQUY HAS MOVED ME, TRULY A MANIPULATOR OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. I HAVE ALLOWED HIM USAGE OF HIS PREVIOUS ACCOUNT.
EHRHRHRHRNGGHH
LC is the best and brought back my embarassing sex tapes.
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Khan
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HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS SWEET WEBSITE CALLED FOUR CHAN DOT ORG?
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Tell them the many ways mankind could collapse, and recount the disasters from exit mundi.

And also, Student Government is for fags.
Wine in hand, in the other, Quran,
Both halal I do and haram,
In this incomplete world of a sham,
Neither Pagan I am, nor Musselman!


Omar Khayyam

Come, come, whoever you are,
Wanderer, idolater, worshipper of fire,
Come even though you have broken your vows a thousand times,
Come, and come yet again.
Ours is not a caravan of despair


Mevlana Jalaladdin Rumi
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NeoAegis
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Israel thug life
Admin
I don't dig Student Government, therefore, my wit is not up for hire.
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Exit Mundi Post of the Year
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Magical Gelatin
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El Presidente
Admin
Great.

Yeah, I should plug Exit Mundi ^_^
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Flamingo
 
Go ahead and the tell about the mutilation of your pinky. We have until the end of the world to hear it.
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Flamingo
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Penis goes in here
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Student elections are popularity contests. If you're popular, you win. If not, you don't.

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Bigfoot
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The least shitty of the shittiest.
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Flamingo
Oct 14 2007, 09:03 PM
Student elections are popularity contests. If you're popular, you win. If not, you don't.

As an expert in student goverment, that is basiclly the truth behind it.

Student goverment is for fags.
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Lyncanthro
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Inheritor of the Ashes
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I hope you win, I did. Hmmm, I have no idea what you're like so I can't make a joke.
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koala
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THE GREATEST POSTER OF ALL
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"my fellow americans.... I did not have sexual relations with that woman...but seriously though folks."
A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.
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Flamingo
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Penis goes in here
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That's so olde, Robin Williams used it in his movie.

"I have no first lady, anyone up for the job?" Meh.
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koala
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THE GREATEST POSTER OF ALL
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"good morning students and faculty, whats the deal with airline food? have you seen these kids these days with their baggy pants and rap music"
A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.
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Flamingo
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Penis goes in here
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Neither statement has anything to do with student government, they're more statements than jokes, and the transition is terrible.

But then again I don't think you're seriously trying.
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koala
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THE GREATEST POSTER OF ALL
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"thank you students and faculty. with Christmas right around the corner I would like you all to write me a letter on what you want for Christmas...... just kidding, but seriously though folks."
A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.
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Dizzarth Stumpy
Pessimist
Moderators
Flamingo
Oct 14 2007, 07:09 PM
Neither statement has anything to do with student government, they're more statements than jokes, and the transition is terrible.

But then again I don't think you're seriously trying.

it's almost like he's using olde and cliched stand up comedy jokes for comedic effect.
STUMPY WAS RIGHT. HIS TOUCHING SOLILOQUY HAS MOVED ME, TRULY A MANIPULATOR OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. I HAVE ALLOWED HIM USAGE OF HIS PREVIOUS ACCOUNT.
EHRHRHRHRNGGHH
LC is the best and brought back my embarassing sex tapes.
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koala
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THE GREATEST POSTER OF ALL
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make reference to a popular movie,TV show, or song in your intro and you'll do fine.
A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.
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