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| Stupidest Things Ever Said; "You mean there are two Koreas?" | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 15 2007, 02:27 AM (1,250 Views) | |
| Flamingo | Dec 15 2007, 02:27 AM Post #1 |
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Penis goes in here
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Post stupid comments made from people or ads. "According to Colonial War Memorial Hospital staff, the woman was brought in after the accident by witnesses at the scene and was taken in for obliteration." -Fiji Daily Post "Here is either in Afghanistan, some other country, or dead." -Donald Rumsfeld on Osama. "Health Department says death certificates must be ordered one week in advance of death." -Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette. "Mr. Speaker, this bill is phoney with a capital F." -Congressman in a debate. "Man shoots neighbor with machete." -Miami Herald "For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." -Literary Review (England) "A stray bullet killed one bystander slightly." -Maryville (Missouri) Forum "Fits one head." -shower cap label "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." -Former Vice President Dan Quayle. "I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our 52 states." -Raquel Welch |
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| NeoAegis | Dec 15 2007, 04:58 AM Post #2 |
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Israel thug life
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"Post stupid comments made from people or ads." |
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| Flamingo | Dec 15 2007, 01:23 PM Post #3 |
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Penis goes in here
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Oh thanks Neo! Way to put somebody down for trying to create some freakin' conversation. I guess we should just go back to talking about cocks. |
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| NeoAegis | Dec 15 2007, 06:40 PM Post #4 |
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Israel thug life
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Technically, it isn't a conversation. A couple of those made me chuckle, so find others. Godspeed. |
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| Flamingo | Dec 15 2007, 11:00 PM Post #5 |
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Penis goes in here
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My favorite conversation ever... COURT CLERK "Please repeat after me, 'I swear by Almighty God...'" WITNESS "I swear by Almighty God..." CLERK "That the evidence that I give..." WITNESS "That's right." CLERK "Repeat it." WITNESS "Repeat it." CLERK "No! Repeat what I said!" WITNESS "What you said when?" CLERK "'That the evidence that I give...'" WITNESS "That the evidence that I give..." CLERK "Shall be the truth and..." WITNESS "It will, and nothing but the truth!" CLERK "Please, just repeat after me, 'Shall be the truth and...'" WITNESS "I'm not a scholar you know." CLERK "We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me, 'Shall be the truth and...'" WITNESS "Shall be the truth and..." CLERK Say, "Nothing..." WITNESS "Okay." (Witness remains silent). CLERK "No! Don't say nothing. Say 'Nothing but the truth...'" WITNESS "Yes." CLERK "Can't you say 'Nothing but the truth?'" WITNESS "Yes." CLERK "Well? ....Do so." WITNESS "You're confusing me." CLERK "Just say, 'Nothing but the truth....'" WITNESS "Is that all?" CLERK "Yes." WITNESS "Okay, I understand." CLERK "Then say it." WITNESS "What?" CLERK "'Nothing but the truth...'" WITNESS "But I do! That's just it!" CLERK "You must say 'Nothing but the truth.'" WITNESS "I will say nothing but the truth!" CLERK "Please, just repeat these four words. 'Nothing.' 'But.' 'The.' 'Truth.'" WITNESS "What? You mean, like, now?" CLERK "Yes! Now. Please, just say those four words." WITNESS "'Nothing. But. The. Truth.'" CLERK "Thank you." WITNESS "I'm just not a scholar, you know." ACTUAL COURT TESTIMONY RECORED IN COURT TRANSCRIPT. |
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| NewFish | Dec 16 2007, 12:37 AM Post #6 |
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Crazy Doctor's Apprentice
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fake, nobody is that stupid <_< |
| "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." — Douglas Adams | |
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| Flamingo | Dec 16 2007, 01:14 AM Post #7 |
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Penis goes in here
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Oh, but they are real. That conversation is definitely not fake, it was published in a book called "The Lexicon of Stupidity" which is where I'm getting all this stuff from. |
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| Sarpedon | Dec 16 2007, 12:51 PM Post #8 |
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Administrator
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Some Random Criminal (I think this may be classed as wit no stupidity) Executioner Overseer - Any last words? Criminal - Yes Overseer - Hmmm? Criminal - Can i have a bullet proof vest? |
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| Dizzarth Stumpy | Dec 16 2007, 04:39 PM Post #9 |
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Pessimist
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where, in the case of abbot vs costello? |
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STUMPY WAS RIGHT. HIS TOUCHING SOLILOQUY HAS MOVED ME, TRULY A MANIPULATOR OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. I HAVE ALLOWED HIM USAGE OF HIS PREVIOUS ACCOUNT. EHRHRHRHRNGGHH LC is the best and brought back my embarassing sex tapes. | |
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| Flamingo | Dec 16 2007, 06:35 PM Post #10 |
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Penis goes in here
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Haha, what a case that was. The wolfman was an excellent prosecutor. |
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| Magical Gelatin | Dec 16 2007, 06:46 PM Post #11 |
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El Presidente
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[Woman smoking with oversized stomach/uterus area.] Mrs. -------- is worried about the sound of jackhammers on her unborn child. |
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| Shmorgasopoly | Dec 20 2007, 01:01 AM Post #12 |
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Crazy Doctor's Apprentice
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My neighbor, who is my age and mentally sound, who passed all his classes in school said to me two years ago when we were looking at a map of Europe "I always thought that Germany was in South America." |
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“For the sake of all that is good and holy, let us not permit the wretches who are now laying their sacrilegious hands upon the pillars of the Constitution, pull them down and involve us all in general ruin.-We and our children, and our children’s children to the end of time, are interested in preservation, and preserved it shall be.”-General W.W.H. Davis Noli me tangere. Nemo me impune lacessit | |
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| Killer Bee | Dec 20 2007, 01:16 AM Post #13 |
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- Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President--Dumbass.
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer--This is my best arguement of why she should have had her lips stapled shut.... And now for the "Two for Two Dumb as a Turd" award..... Brook Shields.
- Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college.--Way too easy....
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign--I think her brain was killed. |
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| Dizzarth Stumpy | Dec 20 2007, 01:30 AM Post #14 |
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Pessimist
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dan quayle is a million times dumber than george w bush could ever dream of. |
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STUMPY WAS RIGHT. HIS TOUCHING SOLILOQUY HAS MOVED ME, TRULY A MANIPULATOR OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. I HAVE ALLOWED HIM USAGE OF HIS PREVIOUS ACCOUNT. EHRHRHRHRNGGHH LC is the best and brought back my embarassing sex tapes. | |
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| Flamingo | Dec 20 2007, 01:47 AM Post #15 |
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Penis goes in here
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We should just make Chicago a freakin' state. "All ice cubes will be boiled before using." - U.S. army official's order during an oversea Typhoid epidemic. "The streets are safe in Philadelphia; it's only the people who make them unsafe." -Mayor Frank Rizzo. "Originally my mother was Spanish, then she became a Jehovah's Witness." -Geri Halliwell "You've done a nice job decorating the White House." -Jessica Simpson during a tour of the White House to the Secretary of the Interior. "20 toilet rolls, hardly used, X-Mas bargain." -Classified ad in the Barrow (England) North West Evening Mail. And to wrap it up for now, two of the dumbest politicians ever... "And there is no doubt in my mind-not one doubt in my mind-that we will fail." -George W. Bush in a stirring speech about the fight against terrorism. "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." -Dan Quayle |
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8:46 AM Jul 11