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Show Snark; Episode to Episode Snark
Topic Started: Dec 24 2011, 05:29 PM (63,017 Views)
andme
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Didn't Missy also say...."we could have made money together"? I think that's the heart of the problem...they were all jealous that T was making $$.
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Camo
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Quote:
 
Quote:
 


Between Jaq's asshole bleaching comment a few eps ago and now her "I'd rather get my lips waxed... *Botox-fueled attempt to make a facial expression* all of them.", I've heard all I need to know about Mrs. Laurita's no-no place for the next decade.


Jesus, right, yes? As a sexual being, she's profoundly off-putting anyway (imagining that Easter Island face and ringed neck -- like an ancient redwood -- all flushed and stink-sweaty with sexy-time passion is enough to make me hurl into the next decade) but yammering on about your anus & labia -- with no self awareness whatsoever as to the unappetizing nature of it all -- god DAMN, but that woman cannot read a fucking room.

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This show is so infuriating.



Amen -- once, I was a sane woman (back when I despised Theresa with the passion of a
thousand nuns, back when I loathed her short hairline, middling mouth and long creditor list) but now?
Now I yearn for her and her rat bastard, sparkplug shaped husband to kick the aggrandizing shite out of
everyone else on this sorry-assed show; from googly eyed Kathy & her moist-mouthed, deeply
repulsive husband, to Jaq da Pimp (whoring out her son to flesh out her storyline) to Caroline (forever the
ignorant bully-cow) and Melissa (dear god, Melissa, with her over-shaded nose, under-tested attack lines
and sexless dry humping of every camera in sight) and that dribbling, liquid shit of a brother who feeds on
his sister for every last thing he eats and owns -- what circle of hell am I living in that Theresa -- Theresa! --
(and her 'She be a cunt' husband) -- end up looking look like the god damned gentlemen and fucking
scholars in this piss-ant universe?


Copied from TwOP - filmnoire cracked me up with this.
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IcyAll
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Now that's some good snark/great writing! I love anyone who is literate and so greatly descriptive:

'passion of a thousand nuns' (I have to steal this!)
'middling mouth'
'googly-eyed Kathy'
'over-shaded nose, under-tested attack lines'
'dribbling, liquid shit of a brother'

I esp. like "spark-plug" used to describe Juicy!
Edited by IcyAll, Jul 15 2013, 09:36 AM.
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oleander
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Those comments are spot on. The redwood ringed neck cracks me up.

Seriously, though, I wish these people would clearly state exactly why Teresa needs to apologize, and when they do, have Melissa explain why her sending danielle emails is not as reprehensible as whatever Teresa did. These losers have made me root for the same person I initially loathed.
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Finestra
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Why do I get the sinking feeling that they resolve their issues because Teresa just prostrates herself and apologizes ad infinitum. Their talking heads are all still way too snarky after the Adirondykes for any of them to have come to their senses.
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Finestra
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I think Juicy and Rosie really get along well. They were very natural at the table and he doesn't treat her like a gay pet.

And Melissa saying that she doesn't read tweets when the episode before she is complaining that Tre sent her a congratulatory tweet and that she is constantly retweeting shit?
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Finestra
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I think Bravo axed Cow out of the retreat because she was a loon at the time of the retreat. She would have brought a whole lot of crazy train that Bravo didn't probably want.

I think the difference between Tre talking about Melissa/Joe/Jac is that she is talking about things they have done to her while Richie and Melissa to an extent and certainly Cow are just taking random pot shots about her intelligence, her style of dress etc as well as talking about the fact that she need to apologize to them.

And Richie goes on that he wants Cow and Clownie on the retreat to talk about how Tre has bad mouthed Melissa and Kathy but Clownie said that before they came on the show, she didn't even know that Kathy existed and Cow wrote in her blog that Tre never talked about them. Once they came on the show, then fair game. Tre can't have bad mouthed them more than those morons just did on the bus.
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ryebread
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There are still a lot of anti-Teresa comments on Bravo blogs, Andy's site, Teresa's FB. I don't get it. How do people not see how manipulated this all is?


Because some are a little slower in recognizing manipulation than others. Depending on how you look at it, that could mean Teresa's detractors or Teresa's defenders. ;) Goes both ways, with all hos.

Every single adult on this franchise is a lunatic. I know there's a lot of Juicy love right now (I can wait patiently for that to change again, please Jesus) but if he's all truth, then Teresa *is* a cunt? I see his appeal but this:

"I mean, autism isn't really a bad disease. Some of 'em are like scientists." He's even too stupid for Teresa. You can see the disbelief on her face as the words are rolling out.

What we see on screen obviously comes out of their mouths but Bravo is great at manipulating all this, as you said, Velvet. But what makes them Genius, is splitting their audience. Not everyone is on the same page at the same time. Somebody up there knows what dialogue needs to be highlighted/edited to cause this interest: this love, then loathe, then back to love malady. If I had these rollercoaster emotions about people in real life? I'd move away. Far.

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WillyWonka
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So we all know I'm not fan of Juicy or Tre but I actually got what he was trying to say with regard to Nicholas and his autism. I think he was actually trying to say something positive, meaning just because he is autistic doesn't mean he can't go on to become a scientist or something. He just didn't word it very well.
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WillyWonka
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oleander
Jul 14 2013, 08:31 PM
Okay. So what exactly is teresa supposed to apologize for?
This, right here.

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-5/videos/sexy-times-to-relieve-stress

I'm going to have to go bleach my eyeballs now.
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Velvet
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WillyWonka
Jul 15 2013, 11:34 AM
So we all know I'm not fan of Juicy or Tre but I actually got what he was trying to say with regard to Nicholas and his autism. I think he was actually trying to say something positive, meaning just because he is autistic doesn't mean he can't go on to become a scientist or something. He just didn't word it very well.
Yep. This. I totally agree.

I think Juicy is a genuinely nice guy. I think that was his way of saying that this isn't the end of the world.

I think he's very street smart too. He sees through all these people, but the one he sees through that I really bow down to him for his Bravo. His hatred of Bravo and their bullshit is truly admirable.

Frankly, I don't care if he cheats on Teresa or not, or if their marriage sucks or not. That's really none of my business. Or Melissa's. Or Richie's, as they were gossiping on the bus. That doesn't define who he is as a tv personality and entertainment for me. And that's what counts in my book. Make me laugh and call out neckrolls for being a wackjob? You have a fan for life.
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ryebread
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WillyWonka
Jul 15 2013, 11:34 AM
I think he was actually trying to say something positive, meaning just because he is autistic doesn't mean he can't go on to become a scientist or something. He just didn't word it very well.
It possible, Willy. I remember something Icy said when trying to explain why she liked Bethenny. That something in her must have identified with her. That's the crux of why I like the hos I do (which at the moment there are two*) and loathe all the rest. It has to do with children. Once they start involving, aggravating, embarrassing, or in any way exploiting their children - they've lost me. Probably because I'm a teacher. And I taught autistic kids. When Juicy said that, all I heard was a dismissive tone in his voice. Lucky for him he has "four, beautiful, healthy daughters" which Teresa likes to remind us every so often. Because if he had to spend a week alone with Nicholas, I don't think he'd fare very well.


*And I'm totally expecting them to fuck up, too. :P
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ISH
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WillyWonka
Jul 15 2013, 11:34 AM
So we all know I'm not fan of Juicy or Tre but I actually got what he was trying to say with regard to Nicholas and his autism. I think he was actually trying to say something positive, meaning just because he is autistic doesn't mean he can't go on to become a scientist or something. He just didn't word it very well.
I agree. The way Jax carries on it's as if Nicholas has a terminal illness. Juicy is making the point that he is basically a healthy kid with some issues. I'm willing to bet if Joe Go and Richie were pressed to describe autism in general they wouldn't do much better than he did.

Many of us posters who haven't had to deal with autism close up and personal would have a hard time also.

There was nothing malicious in what Joe said and he acknowledged that he wasn't a doctor. IMO of all the husbands/fathers, Joe would be the most accepting of a child like Nicholas, I don't see Chris as all that supportive or involved, it seems to me that he leaves a lot of the day to day to Jax and he gets "filled in" at night after the kid goes to bed and he has his wine and sausage. Richie couldn't deal at all with it. Joe Go would cry and secretly blame Melissa for it and Fat Al... he might not even notice since he is never home.
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oleander
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WillyWonka
Jul 15 2013, 11:37 AM
oleander
Jul 14 2013, 08:31 PM
Okay. So what exactly is teresa supposed to apologize for?
This, right here.

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-5/videos/sexy-times-to-relieve-stress

I'm going to have to go bleach my eyeballs now.
bwahahah. I see she has joined Tamra. Nasty. You have four small children, you disgusting morons. No one, and I do mean NO ONE, wants to see that ish.
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ISH
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ryebread
Jul 15 2013, 01:04 PM
WillyWonka
Jul 15 2013, 11:34 AM
I think he was actually trying to say something positive, meaning just because he is autistic doesn't mean he can't go on to become a scientist or something. He just didn't word it very well.
It possible, Willy. I remember something Icy said when trying to explain why she liked Bethenny. That something in her must have identified with her. That's the crux of why I like the hos I do (which at the moment there are two*) and loathe all the rest. It has to do with children. Once they start involving, aggravating, embarrassing, or in any way exploiting their children - they've lost me. Probably because I'm a teacher. And I taught autistic kids. When Juicy said that, all I heard was a dismissive tone in his voice. Lucky for him he has "four, beautiful, healthy daughters" which Teresa likes to remind us every so often. Because if he had to spend a week alone with Nicholas, I don't think he'd fare very well.


*And I'm totally expecting them to fuck up, too. :P
I think Joe would do very well with Nicholas. I can see him sitting quietly with him and not getting frustrated. Should Nicholas freak out, I doubt he would dissolve in tears, he would probably leave him alone and wait it out. I don't see him being so caught up with what the kid can't do, but being encouraging of what he can do.

Despite his failings, I think Joe has a very soft heart. Just his comments on not wanting Tre's dad getting mad at him over the potatoes tells me that there is a very strong bond there. He is also very genuine with Rosie.
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