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New Jersey In The Media; Recaps, Reviews, Media Gossip @ NJ
Topic Started: Dec 24 2011, 11:03 PM (60,512 Views)
andme
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Why don't we ask how she keeps those countertops so darned clean, or that hair such a lovely orange color?
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IcyAll
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Cosmocrush
Mar 27 2013, 02:16 AM
Right? Mine would be something like, "Why don't you fuck off?"
Ha ha ha ... good one, good one ...

I think I will post a question: "You keep such a lovely home. What products do you use -- or do you make your own kitchen counter cleaner? Is there a product line in the future?"
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Velvet
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Cosmocrush
Mar 27 2013, 02:16 AM
Right? Mine would be something like, "Why don't you fuck off?"
I just busted out laughing at this one.
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Finestra
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I just love this review of Clownie's book on Amazon

Quote:
 
This Was Her Chance, and She Blew It March 26, 2013
By Melissa
Format:Hardcover
If you don't know anything about the Real Housewives of New Jersey, this probably won't mean much to you. Caroline Manzo has been on the show for all 4 seasons, and they are getting ready to air Season 5 on which she is also cast. In that time, viewers watched her go from a shrewd, loyal and sometimes funny person and great mom in the early seasons into a nasty bitter woman who has failed at being a sister, a friend and at times, a mother.

This book was her chance to redeem herself. In fact, I always thought that was what she was doing. Once this book was announced, she practically went on a P.R. campaign to undo the damage she had done to her own reputation. I thought this book would be the original Caroline the viewers fell in love with, but no. Not only is this still the same bitter woman - brace yourself, because she's worse. In addition to bitter and nasty, you can now add pompous braggart to the description.

She should have taken this opportunity to be humble in the face of a changing public opinion of herself, but instead, she rubbed in our faces (and her ex-boyfriend) that she drives Ferrari's and Bentleys. She rubbed in our faces that her Facebook friend requests outnumbered the amount allowed by Facebook. And she says her real reason for writing the book is to "help people." She lists all the ways she has helped people - it is positively mind-numbing. She tells us how people drive by her house all the time, call her, steal her mail. Are there really that many people who care? Really? Can this woman be so full of herself? Yes. Apparently she can. Don't lie to us Caroline. You didn't write these 200 pages of nonsense to help anyone but yourself.

I'm not sure how she deems herself a successful parent. Only her oldest son finished college but flunked out of law school. The kids all ended up with careers mommy and daddy created for them. I can't imagine hanging on to my parent's apron strings like that. How is that teaching them to be independent and tackle the world? She brags that Chris worked his way up to manage the Brownstone like Al. Really? In the real-world, no one would make a 22 year old kid the manager of anything except maybe Arby's.

If you can get past the puffing and bragging, you might find yourself back in the 1950's where she's telling Lauren, her daughter, that she has to make her brother's beds, do the laundry and clean the refrigerator. Yes, we all know Lauren cleaned the refrigerator, because then mommy and big Al had to buy her a lapband so she could lose the weight.

A funny sidenote: You'll almost understand the often quoted comment about Caroline being as Italian as the Olive Garden when you see her soup recipe. The Olive Garden should be insulted.

It's a stupid book about nothing. Chatter that amounts to nothing real or useful, just crap about her life she would have been better off putting on some video for her family to watch and spare the rest of us.
Edited by Finestra, Mar 28 2013, 11:41 AM.
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Finestra
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Brandi's current Amazon rankings:

280 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
#2 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Television > Shows
#5 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Leaders & Notable People > Rich & Famous
#12 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Arts & Literature > Entertainers

Clownie's debut rankings:
#1,262 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
#5 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Television > Shows
#13 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Happiness
#25 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Arts & Literature > Entertainers

I have a feeling that releasing it while the season is not airing is a mistake. After friends and family are done buying it the first few days, she is really going to drop off. I wonder if it will pick up during the season. Brandi's is still going strong I think because BH is still airing.

Edited by Finestra, Mar 28 2013, 11:38 AM.
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IcyAll
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I think those ratings reflect the book stores stocking up on copies, not actual people purchasing the book. I wish they would do a "books unsold" chart! Clownie might rank #2 on that one, just behind Jill Zarin who must be at #1 and both placing above Taylor Armstrong who is hunkered into the #3 spot ... RH Publishing Mistakes of the Century.
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Velvet
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The reviews are not piling in as fast as I thought they would on Clown's book. Brandi's came out of the gate with a bang (LOL) and she was collecting dozens of reviews an hour. We're on day 3 and it's only got 8 reviews.
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Finestra
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I wish they still had the tags. Those tags about Clownie's book were hilarious.
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oleander
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They were hilarious. I'm sorry they removed them. She's up to 10 reviews now. Loved that review you posted, fin.

This one had me cracking up:
Quote:
 
Let me tell you something, a lot of trees died in vain.
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Cosmocrush
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Quote:
 
#13 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Happiness

Is this supposed to be a joke? Because the idea of Clownie dispensing advice about these subjects is ridiculous.

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Finestra
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Shave your face
Throw ham at your kids
Belittle your daughter
Turning a blind eye
How to hold a grudge

health happiness and mental health right there.
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Velvet
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I think Icy's probably right about the sales to bookstores counting in the numbers they are showing. Because the reviews really are coming in so painfully slowly. There's only 1 review on Barnes and Noble, 4 stars but the review basically says nothing.
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Mariah
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Barnes and Nobel won't publish negative reviews.

That review is great. Thanks for posting it. There IS a way to tell about results being skewed from mass buys, but I don't know what it is. It was posted in the comments for the #1 review on Jill's book. (Which had multiple mass buys late in the game when Amazon really dropped the price trying to sell dusty copies.) Right after that, Jill started tweeting like crazy that if people would buy the book from her, at full price + shipping, she would autograph them and throw in a Team Jill T-shirt. That was where all the jokes about Bobby's warehouse being full of Jill's unsold books started.

After the mass buys on Jill's book, Amazon revised it's policy of rating top sellers to partially exclude mass buys from private parties from it's rankings. I don't remember the details, but if anyone cares to read through all of those comments, it's all in there.
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Cosmocrush
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Quote:
 
Barnes and Noble won't publish negative reviews.

Seriously? Good to know.
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Mariah
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Yeah, another thing I found out about during Amazon-gate. That's why, before Jill allegedly bought a ton at free shipping and bargain basement Amazon prices, she kept telling people to go to Barnes and Nobel.

I think they allow a 3 rating, but comments are REALLY monitored, at least back then. I don't use their site because of that. I love reading positive and negative reviews on Amazon, even if I end up buying something elsewhere, I almost always check Amazon first, because people speak freely. "Arrived broken, still trying to get them to send replacement" vs "arrived fast and secure, assembled easily" or "burned out after one 2 months, had to throw it away." I remember, for example, reading a bunch of reviews on bread machines, very informative.
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