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Public Confessional; #SAWvivor Funeral
Topic Started: Jan 24 2017, 11:49 PM (83 Views)
Clubber Lang
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Public Confessional: #SAWvivor Funeral

What up ya’ll!

Yo it’s been a day and a HALF, ya dig? And all I can do is laugh.
It’s been a great game wit ya’ll and ya boy ain’t got a problem losin’ a fight. Lemme catch you up.

Once Upon a Motherf****n’ time, lil Clubber Lang, came into this game.

I started up this sweet ass alliance with Darth and Doc called the #BadmudaTriangle. Pretty ballsy right? I came up with the name.
We knew we hadda keep it tight cuz Kreese and Jaws were sketch to death AF. So we sent ya homie Kreese to the butcher to get sized up. Sure enough, bacon.

Afta dat, Marty McFly got caught wit his McFly down and I was like YO! I couldn’t beliedat. I gave props to my boy Luke and my boy Bastian cuz I was formin’ up some kinda tight bond wit them. They liked to keep it real wit Clubs real early so I was all about dat shat. Show some respect to Luke and stop whippin’ his ass around like a rag doll.

BOOM, explosion. Doc quits the game. That makes 2 homies from my tribe straight up gonzo wit’out me and Darth and Jaws havin’ anything to do wit it. And straight up, Darth is the most straight-up homie in this whole damn game and he was my ride or die from the first message. I never forget a brotha like that and got nuttin’ but respect. If ya’ll idiots were smarter you’d be tryna get wit him than whatever dumb thing you got goin on.

Right afta dat we got Ghostface gettin’ bumped and I’m gettin’ supa tight wit Hannibal. He’s tellin’ me all this business about takin’ it all the way cuz the Villains are super tight. Ya right kid! I trusted his ass though and was thinkin’ he had it locked up. But then his minions were schemin’ behind his back the whole time. At this point I’m in an argument wit Jaws because he don’t talk much! So I yelled at him and told him to say somethin’. He said somethin’. And we were cool afta dat.

At this point I’m thinkin’ yo I got a lotta good friends out in the hood! I was diggin’ on Darth, Jaws, Hannibal, Rocky, Jason, Myers, Indy, Freddy, Luke, Bastian, Jack. Is Superman still in this game? Straight up Godfather right there. Oh yeah, he won immunity and didn’t even have to talk to nobody or login and gets called a wild card by everybody in his alliance whose ready to drop him like a sack o potato’s.

It’s all about friendships ya dig? I kept an eye on those friendships and waited for peeps to make pansy ass moves.

We hit up that Schoolyard Pick and like a dumbass I shoulda picked Miyagi but I ended up wit Inigo since he was feedin’ me baloney sammiches leadin’ up to that point. Would have loved to end up on Skywalker and shake things up but Luke didn’t want to pick me so I could stick wit Darth. Respect. But it was a mess. I let Inigo take the reigns on a 4 man group called the #LegionOfDoom. It was cool, but I always thought the name was stupid. But I was straight up die-hard for those homies until they started talkin’ bout bouncin’ my man Jack! That was LAME. But I was a team player and voted his ass out like err body wanted me to.

Then BOOM, my man Bastian gets capped on the other tribe and there was nothin’ I could do about it. What are the odds that ya boy Clubs teams up wit the bottom b*tches who keep gettin’ pounced? I was diggin the fact that Hannibal let me in on that secret beforehand so I tried throwin’ the challenge to keep him safe. It only worked the first time when we got Jack out. Couldn’t make it happen the second time.

Then all of a sudden the dude Inigo starts gettin’ MAD shady. He had already made up one bogus ass untruthful truth because he wanted Jaws outta the game, but then he’s tryna pull it again. Luckily my plan went off without a hitch and I got sketchy ass Navin out the door. Yo! He was tryna make deals wit me and everybody else. He even had Jaws goin on some scheme for a hot minute. I wasn’t diggin’ it, had to get him out. Inigo was mad pissy about it and was throwin’ shade on jaws left and right but it finally happened.

Ever since Inigo got mad shady on his crew, I was actually still pullin’ for him and hoped he could redeem himself. No dice. We planned on votin’ his ass out. I was actually hopin’ we won the challenge though cuz i didn’t want to deal wit the drama but sure enough we got the drama anyways. My boy gets blindsided by who I thought were my other boys (Jason and Myers). At that point I’m like “Yo, Clubber got the worst character judgement in the game and ain’t cut out for this”, but I kept fightin’.

I respected the words of Jason and Myers. I respected Miyagi. And you bet ya ass i was all about my boys Luke, Rocky, Darth, Freddy, and Jaws who showed me nothin’ but love since the get go. Inigo went rogue and we duked it out all day. He was flippin’ and floppin’ and tryna make things pop with whoeva had a titty out that he could latch onto to. And at the end of the day, he found dem titties. He had the votes. Even though Jason told me he was pre-voting for Inigo, and Myers told me he was votin’ for Inigo, and Miyagi told me the vote was for Inigo, even Indy seemed to open up to my plan like he was down. But ya’ll had otha intentions at the end of the day.

So my message to all of ya’ll is play the damn game, play hard. Don’t get sucked into situations that you’re gunna regret. I couldn’t pull it out in this game and I lost the fight fair and square. Ya boy Inigo deserves the credit for bein’ a little b*tch and lyin’ to his crew and findin’ success elsewhere on some foreign turf. That’s respect. Cuz this game is dirty and all ya’ll are gunna be dirty whether you like it or not.

I told my boys they don’t need to have my back anymore. And I don’t need to hear anymore from fake ass homies like Jason, Myers, and Miyagi.

We only delaying the inevitable ya dig? I want to be entertained the rest of this game because I like to entertain while i’m here so don’t be a bunch of little punks out there. I got beat fair and square, you will too, except for one of you. Ya boy can’t stand these typin’ games. So I’ma pull a Russel Hantz and hang it up for good. This game is meant to be played by better peeps than me, like ya’ll.

Thanks for puttin’ up with my BS and I appreciate the opportunity to say peace out while there was still time. Ya’ll a bunch of Survivor fans and ya’ll deserve the utmost respect in the real world for playin’ the greatest game on this planet. See you all on the outside.

Thank you Castaways,
Thank you Brobst,

Ya Boy Club is OUT!

Thank you very much, kick you in the nuts.
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Inigo Montoya
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BROBST
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Freddy Krueger
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Bye Clubber... Thanks for playing!
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