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Heckyl and Jeckyl
Topic Started: Aug 29 2006, 03:47 PM (10,506 Views)
panzer the great & terrible
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Mouth Breather
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There, there, mort. Stony just has to remember it.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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Remember what? :D

Since I've butchered the 13th episode of Dick Tracy Returns, and speaking of butchering, a Halloween story will be coming this week.
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Some weeks just seem to have NO end!!
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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mort bakaprevski
Apr 25 2010, 12:00 PM
Some weeks just seem to have NO end!!
Oh, I don't know about that! I'm enjoying a weekEND right now!! :D
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Stony, you ARE incorrigible.... or a dirigible..... or somethin'??
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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mort bakaprevski
Apr 25 2010, 02:06 PM
.... or a dirigible.....
Just slap Goodyear on my belly! (I stole that from Don Rickles. I still remember him saying that about an overweight person in the early 70s. I don't remember the recipient though. I can't remember it ALL!)
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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The Batman
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
Apr 25 2010, 02:11 PM

I can't remember it ALL!

That you remember at all, stuns me, Stony! :o ;)

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman!
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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Sure, sure... but I do remember, uhmmmm... let me get back to you on that!
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Stony, absolutely the perfect avatar for ya. "Never never change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it, 'cause I love (it)."
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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I love Mr. Natural. I wanted to change my avatar, since the one I had, had been up for soooo long. I thought about one of the wall calendars I bought this past Dec. and I did a google search and came up with Mr. N.

A Mr. Natural calendar you might ask? Nope! I was was in the local Barnes and Noble, looking for 2 wall calendars, when I spotted one with drawings of blues musicians. As soon as I saw it, I recognized the art work as being very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I saw the name: R Crumb. Ah yes. Very familiar. Anyhow, I googled Crumb (and came up with a photo of Gravy *L*) and all these old comix I had read (many second-hand issues) came to mind. Of course Mr. Natural sticks out like a sore thumb among all the gigantic (and perfectly round and firm) breasts.

So there ya are... Mr. Natural. My other calendar? 12 works of Salvador Dali! Y'all could've guessed that, right?
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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A story for my friend Will: A man who's easily amused!

Halloween And The Princess From Hell

Growing up in Akron, Ohio, Halloween was just great for me. Dressing up in costumes and going door-to-door getting free candy, and sometimes a caramel or candy apple, was a fantastic deal. I didn't care that I always had a cheap costume, the ones with the plastics masks and the elastic string that ran from one side of the mask to the other. I, like other kids with the cheap store-bought costumes, were damn lucky that that string didn't break during the night's runs to the neighbor's houses. But all good things come to an end, and trick-or-treating became that way in Akron. There had been some violence somewhere in the city, or so I heard, and trick or treating was only permitted on Sunday afternoons between 2pm and 4pm. I was about to enter my teens, and the idea of free candy in the daylight was a darkness that descended on my jaunts, so Halloween as I knew it, came to an end. I went once, maybe twice during the daytime, but the fun wasn't there, and I thought I was getting too old for such things anyhow.

Halloween from the early 70s to the mid 90s meant little to me. I've always enjoyed horror movies, but passing out candy and donning costumes were never part of those holidays for me. My early 20s were spent usually at parties and in the Air Force. Actually, partying and the Air Force went hand-and-hand with me. In 1985 I got out of the USAF and moved to Tennessee, but I always worked 3pm to 12am from the time I moved here until 1996, so Halloween was usually spent working. There was the ONE night, when Oct. 31st fell on a Saturday, and I was at my apartment watching college football. A friend stopped by and we smoked a joint and a short time later the door bell rang. I slowly got up, went to the door and looked out the peephole, but saw nobody. A little while later the bell rang again, and once again I looked out the peephole and spottted 2 little heads. Since the apartment smelled like pot, I just cracked the door to see what the kids wanted. "Trick or treat", they said. Aw shit, I thought. I told them I had no candy and the whole thing hit me. It was Halloween, my porch light (although I had no porch) was on and it was dusk. I shut that light off, shut off the light in the living room and drew the drapes. My friend beat a quick escape, and I remained in the dark, except for the light from the TV.

The whole Halloween thing changed for me in 1996. That's when I met my future wife. She had 2 kids, a 1-year-old and a 5-year-old. She was into the kids dressing up and going out for free candy. This put me into a position I've since loved: dressing up in scary make up and passing out candy. I wouldn't go out of my way to scare the kids, but if they were scared by the make up, then that was too damn bad. That was the position I had and still have today. This renewed Halloween spirit that I had acquired, started in an apartment and a couple of years later, bloomed into what is now Stony Ranch.

My entire neighborhood is pretty much into the candy-giving fetivities, but unlike me, they're into seeing how much money they can spend on inflatables, and moving shit that lights up. Screw that! I wanna be scary, and I want the kids to feel like their little goosebumps are the price paid for the candy they receive. My house is fairly dark on Oct 31st. There's the 2 black-light bulbs which flank the main door, and the various candles on the porch and in the yard. Some of the candles are in carved pumpkins and others are in small, metal pumpkins leading to the front steps. There are various lights too; black and orange ones in the bushes, along with lighted eyes that glow then fade in the bushes which flank the front steps. In the room directly above the porch there's a bullet window, and in that window is a Michael Myers mask with a strobe light which has a red, plastic filter (I've received many compliments on that). 1 of the 2 things that top it off are the door mat which makes a scream sound when stepped on, and that is at the bottom of the 3 steps that lead up to the porch. The other thing is the CD with very creepy sounds and music, which I bought more that 10 years ago. The whole thing is hilighted by my make up. Always a white face, with black markings making me look like a skull. Throw on a Marilyn Manson t shirt and you have instant Halloween thrills. Add my 6' 4", 250 lb. body to the mix and I think it's scarier than a 5' 5", 120 lb. guy.

I wait in the house and watch for the kids to ascend the porch stairs, then I show up in the doorway. Some kids are scared and some aren't fazed at all. One boy of about 12 came down the sidewalk a few years ago with his mother. Before I entered the doorway, I could hear him telling his mother, "These people think their house is scary, yeah, they think it's scary!" I didn't wait for them to get to the door, as was my accustomary surprise for the kids, instead, I grabbed my large mixing bowl of candy bars and stood on the porch. The boy stopped in his tracks and told his mother, "I don't want to go to this house. Let's skip this house!" I had my few seconds of fun, and no longer wanting to scare the boy I said, "You're not coming up here to get some candy?" I wanted him to hear me speak so he would realize I was just a regular Joe passing out candy, but he wasn't interested. His mother on the other hand, made him come up on the porch and get his candy. Why? I don't know. It's probably a good thing that I entered the porch earlier than the usual waiting for the kids to get to the door, then appear with my large mixing bowl of treats, because the boy was scared, but not as scared as I was gonna be in a few years when the Princess came to my door, startling me, then scaring the hell outta me, in a matter of about 2 seconds.

When I pass out candy, I have the storm door and the main door open, and I watch for the kids to walk up the front porch steps and I meet them at the door, mixing bowl of candy in hand. Well, almost always. This one time, 3 kids came to my door and yelled, "Trick or treat." I had my back turned to the door, so when I heard the familiar refrain, I grabbed my bowl of candy and turned to face the door. I was about 10 feet away and I saw them: 2 boys of about 10 years of age, and a little girl about 5, dressed like a princess. She was in the middle, and when she saw me she was visibly scared. So much so, that she just started back peddling toward the steps of the porch. The porch is only about 4 feet deep, and her short legs and little feet were carrying her right for the concrete steps, which lead to the concrete wrap-around sidewalk. I envisioned her going backwards down the steps and crashing to the concrete below. It's funny (not funny ha-ha, but funny weird) how the human brain can muster so many thoughts in a short period of time. Like I stated, my mind's eye saw her going down the steps, but the adrenaline took over and put my ass in motion. I didn't set the candy bowl down as I raced for the little girl, and I caught her just as she neared to steps. I grabbed her by her left upper arm with my free right hand. I'm certain that this "attack" scared her all the more, but like the boy who was so scared, I spoke to her to try and calm her down. I think I said," thumpa, thumpa, thumpa!" Yep, that was my heart beating like crazy. The princess did calm down, and she was treated royally with extra candy, along with her 2 trick-or-treating friends.

After *I* calmed down, I had time to reflect on the near miss incident. Screw a lawsuit, I'd hate to see a child hurt just because I wanted to scare the tykes a little. So now I sit on the top step of the porch, with my head down, waiting... waiting...
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Don't sell yourself short, Stony. You're a helluva good storyteller..... & I ain't that easily amused.

Thanks!!!
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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Earlier in this here thread, I posted about a tale I like to call, "The Red-Headed Demon". Give me another month or so, and I'll see if my memory banks can do it justice. It's a loooong tale, like that of an armadillo's!!

I would like to thank all of the Balconeers for viewing this thread and trying to make it the most viewed thread ITB. If y'all view this thread repeatedly, you'll receive a check in the mail. Watch for the check, it'll have a return address from Clifford Weimer!
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Please tell us more re your current avatar.

Muy interesante!!
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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mort bakaprevski
May 6 2010, 03:28 PM
Please tell us more re your current avatar.

Muy interesante!!
I just assumed that the image in my avatar was known to folks over 50 (years of age, not IQ (or I wouldn't know it)). Kent State University, Kent, Ohio on May 4th 1970. The National Guard is called to Kent State because of a demonstration, they're called there by Governor James A Rhodes. The Guard fires their guns randomly into the crowd, killing 4 and wounding 9 students. A black eye on the history of Ohio. A similar fete was conducted by Governor Reagan in northern California without the body count. My avatar is one of the most famous photos from that day.

Neil Young's song "OHIO" was a song that reflected the times... a time when the government was not about to put up with protesters who were against the unpopular wars in Vietnam and Laos...

"Tin soldiers and Nixon's coming
We're finally on our own
This summer I hear the drumming
FOUR DEAD IN OHIO!"
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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