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Heckyl and Jeckyl
Topic Started: Aug 29 2006, 03:47 PM (10,510 Views)
Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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mort bakaprevski
Oct 12 2009, 03:47 PM
At any rate, all this goes to prove something. I’m just not sure what!!
Either you're becoming deversified, or... too damn many Manhattans!

I suggest one extra Manhattan, then stuff an entire roll of toilet paper into the commode, then flush. As the water pours into the restaurant/bar area, see how the band reacts ;)

Try to remain inconspicuous B)
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
Oct 13 2009, 03:03 AM
I suggest one extra Manhattan, then stuff an entire roll of toilet paper into the commode, then flush. As the water pours into the restaurant/bar area, see how the band reacts
Now, why didn't I think of that??
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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mort bakaprevski
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So, Tuesday eve, I went down to my favorite local restaurant to pick up a brisket sandwich for dinner (the brisket was so tough, I finally ended up throwing it out) & found no parking at all (finally had to park in a red zone). While I was paying the bill I asked if the little rock club down the street was having somethin' special that night. The guy behind the counter says, "Oh yeah, Eddie Izzard!" To which I replied (in my usual intelligent manner), "THE Eddie Izzard."

Naturally I was wondering what the hell he was doing at a little club like that. The server responds, "Oh it's some kinda charity thing."

At any rate, I'm kicking myself 'cause I hadn't heard about it & woulda loved to have been in that small club enjoying Mr. Izzard's wit & wisdom.

When I emailed this news to a lady I know, she replied,

Yeah, he does this sometimes when he's in town for something else. He was here last Friday for a screening of his new movie. We caught him a few months ago up on La Cienega in a hole-in-the wall place - he was great!

When I asked her how she heard about the event, she said a friend of hers had read about it via his twitter. I'm somewhat religiously opposed to twitter... but maybe I'll have to reconsider.
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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Back in the fall of '74, I entered 11th grade. My high school was located in the southwest section of downtown, separated from The Children's Hospital by a small park. Going thru my schedule on the first day, I saw that I had study hall for 3rd period, I usually enjoyed going to study hall, but only when it was in the cafeteria, and not in a classroom. When study hall was in the cafeteria, I would play chess or football (with a piece of notebook paper folded into a triangle) with the person sitting across from me. This time it was in a classroom, and after a few days, I had a brilliant idea. I would see if I could change the class to gym. Back in the day, we only had to take gym up till 10th grade. Gym class at my school included a lot of basketball, since my school was a state contender in the sport, and playing basketball was often emphasized.

I visited my counselor, and told him I wanted to switch classes. He gave me a form that the study hall teacher needed to sign, then I was to take the form to the gym teacher to sign, then return the paper to the office. I walked into the 3rd period study hall and had the teacher sign the form. The study hall was in the very northeast corner of the building on the 2nd floor, beside a staircase. After the teacher signed the form, I left the class and needed to take a right turn to get to the stairs leading to the gym, but a thought struck me like a thunderbolt. I was officially out of the class and I wasn't in ANY class, so to speak. I took a left and descended the stairs, and went out the door to Bowery street, and struck out for downtown Akron, with the form folded into my back pocket.

In the fall of 1974, downtown Akron was still a bustling area, even though a few malls had opened up, downtown still had many shops and places to visit. My usual spots were 2 magazine shops on Main St, and a coffee shop on the corner of Main and W. Exchange Sts. Every day at the start of 3rd period, I would go out the same doorway onto Bowery St. It seemed to me to be the toughest spot to see a student leaving the building, and luckily, it was the closest door to downtown. Day in and day out, I visited the same 3 spots, either drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, or loitering around the magazine shops reading Creem, Circus, Rolling Stone and various other publications. Getting back into the school for 4th period was a breeze, because it was my lunch period, and many students came outside during lunch, either going across the street to smoke in the park, or going to a gas station and getting junk food to munch on. My treks downtown continued through the fall and into the winter, and I was having a grand time, but one very cold day I took a detour, and it seemed that the jig was up.

O'Neal's was a department store located northeast of the high school, on the corner of Main and State Sts. The building was 6 stories, and located on a hill. The main entrances were at the bottom of the hill, on Main St. There were other entrances to the store, like a side door located on top of the hill on State St., and an entrance in the O'Neal's parking garage, located on the northwest corner of the building. When one went into the store from Main, they would've been in the Ladies section of the store. Continuing through the 1st floor would lead to a set of stairs leading to the mezzanine. One very cold and windy day, I was heading to a shop on Main St. by the Civic Theater, and I decided to cut through O'Neal's by entering the State St. entrance. Once inside there was a security guard sitting to the left behind a sliding-glass window. He was sitting watching a bank of store monitors, and I passed his station and was on the mezzanine. I turned right to head down to the Main St. entrance, just to warm up a bit. As I got to the top of the stairs leading to the main floor, I noticed that nobody was in the store but me. I descended the stairs looking about, but there was not a soul, and then it hit me... the store wasn't open yet. Damn! My heart and mind were racing, but they weren't racing like my legs were, trying get to the front entrance. That's right, the front entrance! Had I been thinking clearly, I would've realized that the doors on Main St. weren't open, they were locked, but I went to them none the less. There were the usual glass push doors, plus a few revolving doors, but it didn't matter, the ones I tried were all locked. I knew this was it for my jaunts of fun, but I had to face the music, so I turned around and headed back to the mezzanine, ascended the stairs, and still saw no one. I'm sure the security guard would've heard my heartbeat as I approached his station, but he sat there, and I went through the door back onto State St., if he had said something from his small room, I wouldn't have heard him, hell, I wouldn't have been able to hear anything over my heartbeat!

Winter faded and turned into spring, and everything started anew, everything but my journeys downtown, they went on like clockwork. I had been doing the hooky-pokey for about 8 months, and only 3 weeks remained until school ended for the summer. I had skipped 3rd period for a little over 8 months! I had outfoxed the school system! I was home free! I was comin' down the home stretch! I was... I was about to be caught, and with only 3 weeks of school remaining!

My school had runners. A runner was a student that would take study hall in the school office, and they would deliver a note to a student in class, or they would come to a class and summon a student to go to the office. With 3 weeks remaining, a runner came to one of my classes after lunch, and told the teacher I was wanted in the office. As I headed to the office my mind was racing again. What is wanted of me? I couldn't have been caught, not after 8 months. I was certain that whatever it was, I wasn't busted. How could I be? I sat in a chair in the Vice Principal's office and he handed me a note. The note contained the name and phone number of the place where I had worked the summer before, and they wanted me to call them, to see if I was going to work there the upcoming summer. Whew! That was a close call, but I knew they didn't know I was skipping class. I just knew it! What I didn't know, but what I was about to find out from hizzoner, was that the call for me had come early in the morning, and a runner was sent to deliver to me, the paper with the name and number, while I was having gym class during 3rd period. The gym teacher claimed I hadn't been in his class all year. The study hall was checked... ditto. Sitting there in the VP's office, I should've realized that I wouldn't have a runner come get me, just so the VP could give me a note, but I was too busy gearing my brain for the Indy 500! I came clean to the VP, and told him what I'd done all year during 3rd period. I was given detentions, either for 10 days, or for the remainder of the year, I can't recall. The next day I was also to report to study hall during 3rd period! I mentioned that I came clean to the VP, and I bring this up because I never considered myself to be very ballsy, nor a liar, but the very next day, at the start of 3rd period, I became both!

Shortly before getting caught, I was aware that a substitute teacher had taken over the 3rd period study hall. Back in those days, and still today (at least in Tennessee), seniors got out of school about a week and a half before the rest of the students. That next day I walked into the 3rd period classroom, and the substitute said that he was aware that I would be in the class for the remainder of the year. I told him that I certainly would be, and that I was a senior, and that I would only be in the class for a week and a half. That last week and a half that I wasn't in 3rd period? You know where I was, don't you? If you don't, just think Petula Clark!!!
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Stony, definitely worth the wait.

You're a good writer or a helluva story-teller...... or BOTH!

Tell us another!!!
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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You're too kind mort, but flattery will get you another story! Give me a week or so.

I ever tell ya 'bout the one when I was in the Air Force learning the Russian language, smoked a joint, and saw the guy with the glowing-red head? Too weird to be true, but it is!
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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Hi ya, mort. Go anywhere for dinner yesterday?

Yesterday I threw 2 salmon filets in the oven, while I sauteed some scallops and shrimp in a skillet. Delicious.

Today I broiled a NY Strip that had been marinating for 48 hours. The strip was cooked about 1/4 of the way on each side, and the center was a warm pink. # Heaven, I'm in heaven.
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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Yeah, last nite I went to the Pacific Dining Car for my once-a-week feed. This week has been disastrous (I'll write about it later), so the surprises that awaited me at dinner were particularly appreciated.

I happened to mention to the bartender that today would be my birthday. Fortunately, the sommelier was also within hearing distance. The latter suggested I have a free glass of Decoy on him. Decoy is a Cabernet / Merlot mix... and when it's good, it's VERY good. This year it's terrific. Unfortunately, it's also muy expensivo (over $20/glass). I don't think I'm gonna be buying much of it in the future.

Then, I got into a discussion with the bartender about a dish they had years ago on the menu that I dearly loved: shrimp diable. Sure enough, about 10 minutes later the bartender informed me that one of the chefs remembered how it was made and, for my birthday, would be glad to repeat it.

I honestly don't remember whether it tasted anything like the original or not.... but it didn't matter. It was absolutely terrific.

Great evening // Heaven, I'm in heaven!!!!
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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Happy Birthday to ya mort.

Good thing you didn't go to the Tam and announce your birthday, the band might've ripped into a special song just for you!! :D
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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mort bakaprevski
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A week ago, early Sunday evening, I went out to feed the inner man. I tried to put the key in the car door lock only to find it wouldn’t fit. It seems someone had taken a screwdriver to the lock which, of course, rendered it inoperable. I had to go to the passenger side to unlock the car The car is old (over 10 years & close to 175,000 miles) so I just thought screw it, I’ll use this as impetus to get off my derriere & get that new car I’ve been thinkin’ about.

Well, the rascals returned Tuesday night & finished the job. The lock on the passenger side had been totally knocked into the door. I opened the passenger door & the alarm system went off. I ran around to the other side and put the key into the ignition, assuming it would turn off the alarm. It didn't. And, it didn't start the engine either (sighhhhhh).

Anyhoo, I had it towed over to the Acura dealer who cheerfully informed me that it would cost at least $750 to fix. Went over to Budget Rent-A-Car & signed a contract for a two-day rental on a Toyota. After the two days had elapsed, Acura informed me that they had found another part of the door inoperable & would have to order it. In other words, another day of car rental.

Bottom line? I ended up spending close to $1,000 on the old clunker. If the guys who did this to me were incompetently trying to steal the car, I would go easy on them (a painless death). If, however, they were just being malicious, I would nail them, by their fingernails to the wall & attach electrodes to their testicles. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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panzer the great & terrible
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This has to be one of our most bizarre threads: from Hekyll & Jekyll to shrimp diable.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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That just sucks, mort! I can't stand any thievin' nor vandalizin' punks.

Do you own an Integra? See the attachment...

Attachment!!
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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panzer the great & terrible
Oct 20 2009, 08:31 AM
This has to be one of our most bizarre threads: from Hekyll & Jekyll to shrimp diable.
Oh, I dunno. They're both edible! And believe me, I eaten a LOT of crow!! :P

I also don't think this is as bizarre as Blu-Ray meets country ham and gravy!
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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panzer the great & terrible
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Heck, Stony, I'm just saying that we are, after all, the Wierd Bunch.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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panzer the great & terrible
Oct 20 2009, 08:13 PM
Heck, Stony, I'm just saying that we are, after all, the Wierd Bunch.
You don't have to point that out to me Paul, 'cause sometimes I feel like the Weird Bunch leader. Maybe I'll change my avatar to Jim Jones. Kool Aid for eveyone :blink:
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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