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| To Go, Boldly; I hate split infinitives! | |
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| Topic Started: Sep 6 2007, 04:48 PM (2,032 Views) | |
| Greypilgrim | Dec 29 2007, 08:16 PM Post #91 |
"Zarkov to Flash Gordon....Come in Flash!"
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Like always....you weren't. You never do.  Your bunny hat is too tight. |
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| The Batman | Dec 29 2007, 10:36 PM Post #92 |
Charter Member
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It has to be. Keeps the voices out. |
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| Laughing Gravy | Mar 11 2008, 09:07 AM Post #93 |
Revered in the UK
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“The Menagerie” Part 1 (11th episode aired, 16th episode produced; aired Nov. 17, 1966) Mr. Spock advises Captain Kirk that he’s received a message from Starfleet Commander Christopher Pike, former Captain of the Starship Enterprise, calling them for emergency assistance. Spock, Kirk, and Dr. McCoy beam themselves down to the Starbase to discover, courtesy of Commodore Mendez, that no such assistance message was sent, and that Commander Pike was hideously disfigured in an accident and is confined to a strange wheelchair that pretty much makes him a head on a big toaster. He communicates by blinking lights mentally on his chair; one blink means yes, two means no. It’s creepy, actually. He looks like a Dalek, if I may mix my TV sci-fi metaphors. Where were we? Oh, yeah. It turns out the whole thing is a plot of Spock’s to get the Enterprise to Talos IV, the banned planet. Visiting Talos IV results in “the only death penalty left on our books,” we’re advised. In any case, Spock is up to all sorts of skullduggery, much to the disbelief of Kirk and Bones. Spock musings, part 1, from Cap’n Kirk: “A Vulcan can no sooner be disloyal than he can exist without breathing.” (Well, apparently Mr. Spock is holding his breath pretty well.) Spock musings, part 2, from Dr. McCoy: “I could run off half-cocked given a reason. So could you. But not Spock.” Factoid #1: Mr. Spoke served under Captain Pike for 11 years, 4 mos., and 5 days. In those days, Spock had bigger ears and bushy weird eyebrows. He looked like a cross between Jerry Colonna and Count Chockula. Spock manipulates events so that he, the Dalek-Pike, and Bones are back aboard the Enterprise zipping towards Talos IV while Jim and Mendez are stuck pursuing on a tiny shuttlecraft that looks like a Happy Meal box; Spock has seized control of the ship’s computer and the crew can’t override his commands. That li’l shuttle runs out of fuel trying to track the big, bad Enterprise, though, and Spock is forced to blow his scheme by rescuing Jim and Mendez and beaming them up. The disgraced Science Officer immediately turns himself in for treason and mutiny and demands a court martial hearing. Ya need three officers to hold such a hearing, and there’s only Kirk and Mendez… except that Spock points out that Blinky Boy over there in the big toaster is still an officer. The court martial begins, and Spock’s evidence begins to unspool on the monitors, courtesy of footage from Star Trek’s unaired first pilot, supposedly 13-year-old events from the Enterprise. Factoid #2: For court martials, officers wear dress blues, which closely resemble silk jammies. Factoid #3: Back in the Pike days on the Enterprise, the crew wore short pants (boys) and mini-skirts (girls) and looked really, really silly. Factoid #3: I dunno who the ship’s doctor was in those days, but he was played by the guy who played the mad scientist in one of my fave movies, Attack of the Puppet People. It seems that the Enterprise went to Talos IV looking for a party of old white guys, scientists who had crashed there. They find them, and Vina, a gorgeous blonde lady too, but it’s all a trap and Pike is captured by three guys with huge veiny heads. Factoid #4: There was only a staff of 203 on the Enterprise, according to Captain Pike. As we know from a previous factoid in this blog, by the time of Kirk's reign on the ship, that number had grown to 428. Apparently, all those cutie-pie "yeomen" Kirk hired really added up. Factoid #5: Before beaming down to the planet, Pike and Spock and the boys don Mr. Rogers-type sweaters. They look very spiffy. The giant brain guys are hiding in a cave, watching events on what appears to be the Flintstones’ TV set. They nab Pike and the other Enterprisians try to blast the cave door open (they fail), and there’s a lot of very colorful cartoony ray gun effects. This revelry is interrupted by Starfleet contacting the present-day Enterprise; somebody is pissed that the ship is nearing Talos IV. Kirk is ordered relieved of his command. Mendez then orders Spock to return the ship to manual control. “Sir… I respectfully decline” is his response. He then begs of Kirk, “It’s your career and Captain Pike’s life. You must see the rest of the transmission.” Jim looks stoic and, forgetting he’s not in command any more, says, “Lock him up”. To be concluded next week! |
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| Laughing Gravy | Apr 22 2008, 08:28 PM Post #94 |
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Revered in the UK
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“The Menagerie” Part 2 (12th episode aired, 16th episode produced; aired Nov. 24, 1966). After a lengthy recap, we're back to watching 13-year-old events on Talos IV, courtesy of stock footage from the unaired Star Trek pilot episode. D'ja ever see that movie where Crash Corrigan "hides in a tree" and watches gorillas marauding through the jungle, courtesy of silent serial footage from a decade and a half earlier? Well, that's pretty much what Kirk and Spock are doing here. Brain-Guy Putdown #1, referring to Earthians: "Their intelligence is shockingly limited." A different Bones, but same stupid dialog, referring to the Brain-Guys and their ability to cause people to see things that aren't there: "Their illusions are just as real as this table top and just as impossible to ignore!" Turns out the Talosians (that what the Brain-Guys are known as, although I think "Brain-Guys" is preferable) want Pike and Vina to mate so they can create a race of slaves, or something like that. They create a series of illusions to try to get Pike to fall in love, including a big, furry viking to protect Vina from, going on a nice picnic with a horse, and causing Vina to turn into a dancing, seductive snake woman. Pike's retort: "I'm not an ANIMAL performing for its SUPPER!" The Brain-Guys give up and snag a couple of babes from the Enterprise, but Pike doesn't want THEM either (maybe they should've tried tempted him with Mr. Spock). Eventually, Pike gets an opportunity to get his paws around the neck of a Brain-Guy and the Talosians realize that Earthling-Guys are too violent to make good slaves, so they let everybody go. Everybody except Vina, who is really an old, gnarly lady who looks like Quasimodo. She wants to stay on Talos IV, where she's a babe, and I for one don't blame her. Anyway, to wrap it up, Spock did all this to get Pike (whom we recall from Part 1 is now confined to a toaster) back on Talos, where they can give him the "illusion" of not being in a toaster and he can mate with Quasimodo-Vina and live happily ever after. Done and done. And Spock is acquitted or pardoned or paroled or something. I dunno, but this was one dull episode. They should've just aired the pilot "as is" and called it a "previously untold adventure" of the Enterprise. Next: Some Shakespearean actor poisons an Enterprise crew member with a milkshake! Wow! |
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| Laughing Gravy | Sep 22 2008, 06:33 PM Post #95 |
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Revered in the UK
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“The Conscience of the King” (13th episode produced, 13th episode aired, what’re the odds?) Original airdate: December 8, 1966. The Enterprise has been summoned to Signia Minor, an earth colony way out in space somewhere, where they’ve discovered a new food concentrate that will make famine obsolete. A kind of Tang for all four food groups, I guess. Only they didn’t REALLY discover a new food concentrate, it turns out the leader of the colony was entertaining a traveling troupe of Shakespearean actors (all of whom are human) and became convinced that the Macbeth, a guy who calls himself Anton Karidian, is really the long-lost Kodos the Executioner, which will make you giggle if you watch The Simpsons. Kodos was the governor of an Earth colony 20 years earlier, see, and when the food ran out he executed 4,000 colonists so that the remainder could survive. Sounds fair to me, but Kirk is really peedee-odeed that he’s been suckered off-course for this. “YOU’RE not only in trouble… you put ME in trouble TOO!” he whines. He also adds that they “closed the book” on Kodos many years earlier, which I found odd: do they still have books in the far future? Wouldn’t they read nuclear-powered magic etch-a-sketches or something? Before Kirk can stomp off and sulk, though, the leader of the colony ends up dead, which doesn’t seem to interest him all that much, and he meets Karidian’s gorgeous teenage daughter Lenore, which interests him a great deal, you betcha. (The “Ewwww!” factor is very high in this episode, folks.) Kirk offers everybody a ride to the next planet, which is helpful inasmuch as he’s already called off the taxi that was waiting to take the actors to their next gig. Insightful dialog exchange #1 Mr. Spock: “How did you know this lady was coming aboard?” Captain Kirk: “I’m the captain.” Pardon me for asking a simple question, Captain Asshole Mr. Spock, responding to the Captain’s order to reroute the Enterprise to deliver the actors to their gig, pointed out that the “simple trip” would take them 8 light years off course. Kirk: “If my memory needs refreshing, I’ll ask for it. Meanwhile, Mr. Spock, follow my orders.” Insightful dialog exchange #2 McCoy offers Spock a drink. Spock: “My father’s race was spared the dubious benefits of alcohol.” McCoy: “Now I know why they were conquered.” Not much happens for awhile except Kirk and Lenore exchange googoo eyes and icky dialog (at one point, Lenore purrs that the ship is “surging, throbbing, yet under control” and she REALLY needs to check those teenage hormones of hers. Spock gets jealous (as does Yeoman Rand, who shoots Lenore one of the great “If Looks Could Kills” I’ve ever seen) and goes sniffing around the ship’s computer library bank and figures out what’s going on and he and Kirk discover that Lt. Riley, one of the ship’s crew, and Captain Kirk himself are the only living humans who can personally identify Kodos, which means of course that at that moment somebody is slipping a mickey into Riley’s glass of milk (Riley’s dinner, by the way, consists of what looks like a disassembled Rubik’s cube). Riley gets very, very ill from the poison and in the future, they treat poisoning by putting the victim in bubble wrap. No, really. I don’t make this stuff up, I just report it. McCoy thinks somebody might’ve just accidentally put a deadly poison into the milk (or into the cow) but Spock sagely points out that “Even in this corner of galaxy, two plus two equals four”, which will be useful to know in future episodes, I’m sure. Meanwhile, Kirk is almost blown up by a phaser bomb, which he gets rid of by dropping down the garbage chute, which would cause more damage to the ship than if he’d just let it blow up where it was, it seems to me. Anyway, finally Kirk faces Kiridian and asks him if he’s Kodos, and gets a noncommittal response. In the end, it turns out he is the fugitive Kodos, but he hasn’t killed anybody in 20 years, he swears, and he’s telling the truth, apparently, because it turns out his daughter was doing all the killing to protect her old man, and she recites a lot of Hamlet and Julius Caesar and then tries to blast Kirk but misses and kills her dad. “Oh, proud death!” is all she can think of to say. The curtain falls, but next week, we’ve got what appears to be an evil brother to Mr. Spock in “Balance of Terror!” |
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| Laughing Gravy | Apr 14 2009, 01:23 PM Post #96 |
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Revered in the UK
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“Balance of Terror” (9th episode produced, 14th aired, originally telecast Dec. 15, 1966) Hey, my return to the world of Star Trek netted me the best episode so far, with little of the didacticism I hate about the show and a lot of shooting willy-nilly at alien races that I love. So let’s get right to this gem. Cap’n Kirk begins the episode by marrying a young couple on his crew, but before they get to the “I do” part they are called to battle stations because some nearby earth outposts are being attacked. We’re only a couple of minutes into this thing, but I note that (a) they’re performing the ceremony dressed in their usual work outfits, and you’d think they’d have dress blues or something spiffy to wear on special occasions, I mean, there are 428 aboard, they have special occasions, right? That’s a lot of birthday potlucks, for one thing; and (b) the bride, the groom, or both are not going to survive this episode. Bet ya a nickel. Okay, so in a nutshell, turns out 100 years ago Earth fought a vicious war against the Romulans and part of the treaty of armistice was that they’ stay on their side of the Neutral Zone and we’d stay on ours. Sounds fair to me. Well, a ship has crossed that zone and is pulverizing our space colonies between the planets Romulus and Remus (!). As our crew maintains battle stations, the young would-be groom tells his almost-bride to get back to work: “I’m still your superior officer! Get with it, mister!” Oh, yeah, he’s dead meat. Classic dialog, as Mr. Spock is advised that three Earth outposts with countless lives have been destroyed: “Interesting.” We’re introduced to Mr. Styles, who is some sort of navigator or something. I’m not sure, he’s pretty ubiquitous, handling 2 or 3 jobs in this episode. One thing I DO know for sure about him though: he don’t like Vulcans. Nope, can’t stand ‘em. So you can imagine the look on his face when their visor-screen (or whatever th’ hell they call it) gets a gander at the Romulan attackers: they all have big pointy ears and Moe Howard haircuts. Yep, they look just like freakin’ Vulcans. Everybody on the ship turns slowly and stares at Mr. Spock. Classic dialog in response, from Kirk: “Leave any bigotry in your quarters. There’s no room for it on the bridge.” The Romulans wear very attractive chain-mail jammies with colorful kitchen throw-rugs over their shoulders, and many of them don very sporty metal helmets. A very pleasing race, fashion-wise. Kirk gathers his brain trust in the briefing room to discuss what to do; the hotheads want to attack the Romulans while they’re still on our side of the neutral zone, Styles wants to kill them all because they look like Vulcans, and Bones wants to leave them alone because he’s a big pussy. Surprisingly, Spock votes for the “Kill ‘em all” plan. He figures if the race is, as they appear, “an offshoot of my Vulcan blood” the only way to deal with them would be to destroy them; any sign of weakness would be disastrous on the part of the United Planets vessel. Have kind of an inflated view of your own people, don't ya, emotion boy? So Kirk notes that there’s a comet ahead, and when the Romulan vehicle flies through its tail it will momentarily become visible and they can shoot at it all they want to. The Romulan cap’n, meanwhile, intends to fly into the comet’s tail and then, when the space debris interferes with the Enterprise’s guidance system, circle back and attack. Hey, both plans sound pretty good to me. While we wait to see what’s going to happen, Cap’n Kirk hugs that adorable Yeoman Rand for awhile while Mr. Spock roots around in a fusebox on the floor trying to fix the ship’s phaser blasters or something. Seems pretty dumb to me. The hugging apparently did the trick, because later that cute Yeoman shows up at Kirk’s quarters to see if he “needs anything” *cough cough* but they’re interrupted by Bones, and say, doesn’t anybody KNOCK before entering the Cap’n’s quarters? While the two massive warships sit around and do nothing, Mr. Spock accidentally sets off this blippy-blippy thing in the fusebox, which alerts the Romulans to the Enterprise’s coordinates and they attack. And their attack alerts the Enterprisians to the Romulans’ coordinates and they attack right back at ‘em. Hey, now THIS is gettin’ good. Classic dialog, from Mr. Styles to Mr. Spock: “This time, we’ll handle things without your help, VULCAN!” Second later, the room is hit by a blast from the Romulans ship, and Styles has to be carried to safety by Spock. Meanwhile, the Enterprise gets a bead on the ship from Romulus and blows it all to hell. Now THAT is what I’M talkin’ about. Later, Styles tries to thank Spock, but is rebuffed. Spock: “I saved a trained navigator so he could return to duty. I’m capable of no other feelings.” So, was no one killed when the Enterprise was hit by the Romulans? Let’s just put it this way: somebody owes me a nickel. Later, Kirk goes to the “wedding chapel” to console the young would-be wife, but you can tell he’ll be calling her up to his quarters within a fortnight, the dog. Ewwww. Next: The crew of the Enterprise is attacked by Alice in Wonderland and the White Rabbit and a knight in shining armor on a “Shore Leave”! |
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| witneyenglish | Apr 27 2009, 06:34 PM Post #97 |
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
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If you make it to the season 3 collection and watch the original pilot The Cage, you will see that the pilot had a different twist on the ending concerning Pike and Vina. This twist was supposedly one of the reason that The Cage was not picked up by the network. Edited by witneyenglish, Apr 27 2009, 06:35 PM.
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| witneyenglish | Oct 21 2009, 06:25 PM Post #98 |
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Balcony Gang, Foist Class
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I've been watching the Original Series and right now I am up The Way To Eden, which I think is the worst episode of the Series. |
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| marlin lee | Oct 22 2009, 11:49 PM Post #99 |
Charter Member
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I wouldn't call The Way To Eden the worst episode of the series. But it is certainly the most dated. Heck that episode was aready dated when the series was first rerun in syndication. |
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