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| Mysterious Island; Captain Harding's FABULOUS Adventures | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 19 2009, 09:36 PM (4,518 Views) | |
| Laughing Gravy | Feb 4 2010, 07:16 PM Post #106 |
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Our story so far: Well, it’s actually been months since we reviewed a chapter of this thing. It’s got something to do with pirates, invaders from Mercury, escaped Union soldiers during the Civil War, and a barking dog. Okay, so that’s not really enough information: that’s the basic setup behind Les Miserables, more or less, as well. Ah, but THIS story includes a fairly nicely dressed “wild man” running around in the bushes, and a tribe that dresses in Mickey Mouse costumes. Dang, this is sure one Mysterious Island! This week, chapter 6: "The Pirates Attack!" Okay, Okay, it seems that as episode 5 ended, the guy in the Cap’n Video Ranger Officially Licensed Space Helmet™ pulled a string and blew up some of our heroes. It turns out, though, that the whole thing was just for show: a “blinding shower of sparks” to scare our boys into leaving the cave. It works, too, because they flee in terror. Had the Confederate Army been armed with sparks, they’d have won the war by early 1862, methinks. The unseen mystery man, speaking with a booming voice in an echo, just like the Wizard of Oz, bellows, “What you have experienced is merely a warning. I mean you no harm.” Ummmm… What’s the sense, dude, in trying to SCARE the HELL out of people if you’re only going to reassure them that it’s all in good fun and no actual Union soldiers will be inconvenienced in the making of this film? Cap’n Harding, utilizing his full resources as a trained leader of men, retorts, “That does it. Let’s get out of here! We’re up against someone more ingenious than we think!” The other guys are okay with that, too; they decide what they need is a good night’s sleep. The director decides it might be interesting to see what’s going on with the pirates and their prisoner, Ayrton the Wild Man. The director is wrong, but what th’ heck. The buccaneers – who are adorned with Santa Claus hats on their heads – bring Ayrton to Cap’n Gene Roth (who wears a chauffer's cap) leading to the finest exchange of dialog in the serial so far: Ayrton: “Cap’n! Don’t ya KNOW me?” Cap’n: “Who’d WANT to know ya?” The Wild Man, seeking to curry the Cap’s favor for reasons we can only surmise, and they’re pretty ugly reasons at that, explains that five strangers have come to the island and are now in control of all the pirate ammunition. “Five castaways are hardly a match for US!” the Cap’n squeals, and adds that he’s got a plan up his chubby sleeve, using Ayrton as bait, which causes everybody on the ship to giggle madly. Well, everybody except Ayrton. Meanwhile, back at their little tumble-down cottage, our mirthful band of scallywags are enjoying a good, hearty breakfast, and we have no idea where they got it, so naturally we assume they’re eating Top, the dog. Whoops, guess not, because he’s outside barking again, and frankly, if these guys had neighbors, they’d complain. Cap’n Harding and Bert head out to see what’s up with that damn dog THIS time, and find their friendly neighborhood Wild Man sleeping it off in a field. He leaps up and runs off and the pirates leap out from behind a park bench or something and before you know it all heck has broken loose, what with fisticuffs and gun battles and all. Rulu and her boys from Mercury come out to see what all the fuss is about, but they just stand there and look bored (they should come sit down over here with us and look bored; it’s more comfortable). The pirates stop shooting to ogle the Pretty Lady from Outer Space, leading Gene Roth to bellow, “Who ordered you to stop firing? Let ‘em have it!” When I got back from my nap, the Unionists were holed up in their shack, the pirates were surrounding them, Bert had sneaked off to the Mystery Man’s cave to seek help (“Ahoy!” he shouts in the cave, which looks even stupider than it reads), Rulu was ineffectually blasting boulders with her ray gun, and one of the pirates was blowing up the shack full of our heroes with a big barrel of gunpowder. Kaboom. Next, Chapter 7: "Menace of the Mercurians!" |
| "I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley | |
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| panzer the great & terrible | Feb 7 2010, 07:38 PM Post #107 |
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Mouth Breather
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You know, I had an accident with boiling water six weeks ago and was rendered immobile with an open wound as big as my head. Sleep was no go and concentrating on a real movie was tricky too, so I decided to watch all of LOST, since it streams to my TV free from Netflix. I'm almost through the fifth season, and am TIVO-ing the sixth and last so I can get to the bitter end. And you know what? It rips off Mysterious Island more than once or twice. Whoda thunk it? Of course, it would be better with Gene Roth in a seedy pirate suit, but you can't have everything. This streaming deal is cool. I'm catching all the Russian silents I missed and have rewatched Shoot the Piano Player, Jules and Jim Vera Cruz, Flight of the Phoenix, and The Big Lebowski. The Chaplin Mutuals are there too, and some of the Keaton-Arbuckle shorts. The huge pictures like The Great Escape aren't there, but you'd be surprised what is. Very little John Ford, but three of the best Hawkses. Only Angels Have Wings, which I could watch every day for the rest of my life. |
| Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious... | |
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| mort bakaprevski | Feb 7 2010, 09:38 PM Post #108 |
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Balcony Gang, Foist Class
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Check you testosterone count. Methinks it's a bit high!! |
| "Nov Shmoz Ka Pop." | |
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| The Batman | Feb 8 2010, 08:29 AM Post #109 |
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Charter Member
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Geez, Mr P. Considering there are no more original ideas, I think LOST does a pretty good job of being different. I doubt they tried to rip off MI. And, though it sounds like you aren't enjoying it, LOST would NOT benefit from the addition of one Gene Roth. |
| Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman! | |
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| Sgt Saturn | Feb 8 2010, 08:41 AM Post #110 |
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Charter Member
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And Merritt's The Moon Pool ... As 'they' say, stealing from one source is plagiarism. Stealing from a bunch of sources is research. |
| The Ol' Sarge | |
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| The Batman | Feb 8 2010, 08:53 AM Post #111 |
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Charter Member
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As long as LOST is the only thing you guys watch that has no original ideas, then you must be doing pretty good. I guess you both have only watched one or two westerns (which covers the plot points for most of them) or only a half-dozen or so noirs. In case you were wondering, in all the other noirs the dame is bad news, too. Who'da thunk it? And, of course, both MYSTERIOUS ISLAND and THE MOON POOL created all of the ideas contained in each right from scratch. Right? Nothing recycled? No close resemblance to anything created before them? Please, let me know. |
| Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman! | |
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| panzer the great & terrible | Feb 8 2010, 09:27 AM Post #112 |
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Mouth Breather
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I didn't mean to say there's nothing original in LOST, but that I'm amused that it uses Mysterious Island, of all things, as an inspiration. As I've said many times before, and as Shakespeare certainly knew, originality is highly overrated. I'm enjoying the series, obviously, since I'm in the middle of the fifth season. If I didn't like it, I'd never have persisted. I gave up on 24 after the second season. There are odd things in LOST. The bad guy gets the living heck beat out of him all the time, his face is always bloody, yet he never quits boasting about his cleverness. The ratio of male to female characters is a little high, but the ladies we do get are fair to look upon, so I guess I shouldn't complain. The story did get a little drawn out in the fifth season, but with the end in sight, that's not so bad. It's fun television, and I'm glad I had it during my down time. And Mort, if I have any testosterone left at all, it's a damn miracle. |
| Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious... | |
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| mort bakaprevski | Feb 8 2010, 10:13 AM Post #113 |
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Balcony Gang, Foist Class
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Ahhhh, welcome to the club. Trust me, it only gets worse (sob)!! |
| "Nov Shmoz Ka Pop." | |
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| Sgt Saturn | Feb 8 2010, 10:17 AM Post #114 |
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Charter Member
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Everybody steals from Homer. Homer probably stole from someone, but we'll never know because that someone (or those someones) left no written record. (Neither did Homer, but he had followers who did ...) |
| The Ol' Sarge | |
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| The Batman | Feb 8 2010, 11:34 AM Post #115 |
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Exactly. And since history is written by the winners (or the more popular) there is no real proof that Homer wrote any of them. There is proof that people said he did. But that's not proof he did. Edited by The Batman, Feb 8 2010, 11:34 AM.
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| Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman! | |
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| panzer the great & terrible | Feb 8 2010, 12:10 PM Post #116 |
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Mouth Breather
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Since we know practically nothing about him, I don't see how it matters. The Iliad is so much better than The Odyssey that I have trouble thinking they're by the same person (or people). Folks are always nattering on about who wrote Shakespeare, and I can't see why anybody should care. The plays were obviously written by the same guy, always referred to as Shakespeare, so what's gained by saying Shakespeare didn't write 'em? You might as well say Jefferson didn't write the Declaration, or that Erle Stanley Gardner didn't write Perry Mason. Before TV, writers were shadowy, mysterious figures whose personalities and even whose existence you could argue about. Look where Mysterious Island took us. What a bunch of nuts we are. |
| Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious... | |
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| The Batman | Feb 8 2010, 12:20 PM Post #117 |
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Charter Member
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You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps. |
| Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman! | |
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| mort bakaprevski | Feb 8 2010, 12:30 PM Post #118 |
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Balcony Gang, Foist Class
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Well, technically, he didn't write 'em. He dictated them!! |
| "Nov Shmoz Ka Pop." | |
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| panzer the great & terrible | Feb 9 2010, 10:27 AM Post #119 |
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Mouth Breather
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Well, Shakespeare and Homer dictated too. You can't prove they didn't. In fact, when Shakes was dictating his famous Gay Boys In Bondage, his secretary's glasses fell off, and he said "Why, Miss Jones, you're beautiful." |
| Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious... | |
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| mort bakaprevski | Feb 9 2010, 07:10 PM Post #120 |
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Balcony Gang, Foist Class
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Actually Paul, it was when the Bard's glasses fell of that he decided Ms. Jones was a comely lass (she actually closely resembled Minna Gombell)! |
| "Nov Shmoz Ka Pop." | |
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