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Starcrash (1979)
Topic Started: Feb 19 2012, 10:41 AM (450 Views)
Laughing Gravy
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The Emperor of the Galaxy (apparently) has had his son kidnapped by the evil Count Zarth, who wears a cape and says stuff like "He dies at sunrise!" while his ship hurtles through darkest space, far from any sun that's a-gonna be risin' anywhere. The Emperor, played by Christopher Plummer (3 grand for 3 days' work, nice), calls on notorious space pirate Stella Star (Caroline Munro); her sidekick Akton, who has mysterious powers but who is played by Marjoe Gortner, so acting ain't one of them; her robot Elle (pronounced "EL" and a man, in case you were wondering; the robot's voice makes him sound like Huckleberry Hound, only stupider); and Thor, who looks not like a gay boy with a hammer but Brainiac, Superman's green-skinned bald nemesis. They all head off to rescue the Prince, who is played by David Hasslehoff, so this is, like, the best thing he's ever been in, scary as that sounds.

Hmmm.

Well, the special effects are... okay, if you weren't expecting Industrial Light & Magic, which I wasn't. I love how the stars are all portrayed (quite movingly, actually) by Christmas tree lights; very colorful. Decent sets, although they're all tiny. Various oddities pop up, including a discount Star Wars light sabre and a herd of cavemen. Everybody seemed to hate this movie, and I didn't, but I'm not contemplating re-watching it anytime in the near future, say, 10,000 years or so.

We opened with an hilarious cartoon, Lovelorn Leghorn (1951); Foghorn tries to convince a lovesick chicken that the animal, I say the animal with a waggy tail and big floppy ears, THAT'S a rooster. We also saw Suddenly It's Spring, a 1944 cartoon with Raggedy Ann trying to save a dying girl by convincing Mr. Sunshine to shine down on her in the midst of winter. An ugly racial stereotype marred an otherwise fine (longer than usual) Noveltoon. Terry & the Pirates ch. 2 went over very well, and Our Gang met Alfalfa's Double in a fairly good MGM short from 1940.
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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Tarzan
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Laughing Gravy
Feb 19 2012, 10:41 AM
They all head off to rescue the Prince, who is played by David Hasslehoff, so this is, like, the best thing he's ever been in, scary as that sounds.
Knight Rider wasn't that bad, was it?

I wonder how much (if any) the Blu-ray version improves over the DVD? If I see either one for about $10 I'll get this, otherwise I'm in no rush to see this. Battle Beyond the Stars is still my favorite Star Wars rip-off, regardless of how much I love Caroline Munro.

Don't sweat the small stuff kid, or you'll go bald early!
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andarius
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Tarzan
Feb 27 2012, 09:44 AM
Laughing Gravy
Feb 19 2012, 10:41 AM
They all head off to rescue the Prince, who is played by David Hasslehoff, so this is, like, the best thing he's ever been in, scary as that sounds.
Knight Rider wasn't that bad, was it?

I wonder how much (if any) the Blu-ray version improves over the DVD? If I see either one for about $10 I'll get this, otherwise I'm in no rush to see this. Battle Beyond the Stars is still my favorite Star Wars rip-off, regardless of how much I love Caroline Munro.

Saw 'is car, Kit, at Universal Studios long, long ago and Columbo's car!

Rented the VHS video of 'Starcrash' cos it never came to Southampton. Marjoe Gortner was much more entertaining in 'Earthquake' with 'Sensurround' - Charlton Heston said, "We are in a new dimension - I don't know where it's going to take us". We got bursts of 'Sensurround' in 'Mission Galactica: The Cylon Attack". My Mum and I got kidnapped by Cylons when we wuz on the Universal Glamor Train - I still get nightmares! :D

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Oh and Caroline wore some lovely outfits!
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Stony Brooke da Mesquiteer
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It's hard to beat Ms. Munro. That didn't come out right, but you know what I mean.
It's like Rodney King used to say, "Can't we all get a bong."
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