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| Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 27 2013, 01:59 PM (157 Views) | |
| Laughing Gravy | Jan 27 2013, 01:59 PM Post #1 |
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Truly awful dreck that is, alas, not even good for laughs. Former '90s teeny bopper Deborah Gibson is a research scientist(!) whose underwater submarine has just struck an iceberg and released a giant prehistoric shark (which attacks San Francisco) and octopus (ditto, Japan). Debby and mean boss Lorenzo Lamas spearhead attempts to capture or kill the beasts, and after nearly NINETY MINUTES of this crap Debby finally realizes (in a dream) that they should lure the two together and have them fight each other to the doom. This may be the lowest-budgeted film, adjusted for inflation, ever made, a 21st century Beast of Yucca Flats. A five year old can make better CGI on an iPad (I've seen it, I know) and the scenes NOT CGI are on a set the size of my living room, seriously, even when it's supposed to be a giant nuclear submarine. How do the "team of scientists" (four people) go about trying to kill the monsters? By taking a beaker of purple fluid and dripping it into a vial of orange fluid and trying to make it turn green. Seriously. It's that kind of movie. Some tits would've helped, but we don't even get that. Don't bother, peoples. Let's see... our cartoons this week included Hubie & Bertie ("Yeah, yeah, sure, sure") trying to make Claude the Cat think he's a lion in Roughly Squeaking, and Porky Pig in a goofy hospital in Patient Porky, plus another exciting installment of Ripley's Believe it or Not (a six-year-old boy who smokes cigars! A table made out of 73,000 pieces of wood!) and "Ambushed Ambulance", the fifth frightening episode of Captain Midnight! |
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12:20 AM Jul 11