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Noah's Ark (1928)
Topic Started: Apr 3 2013, 09:45 AM (598 Views)
Laughing Gravy
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Colossally entertaining epic that seems to be a blueprint for all "epic love stories" made since.

We've got twin stories going on here; the Biblical Noah's Ark bit is compared with the Great War, so this plot description will no doubt be confusing and I'm not looking forward to it. I'll do my best, folks.

France, 1914, and a train full of passengers is going on its merry way, with a nice cross-section of humanity, including good guy Americans George O'Brien and Big Boy Williams, German entertainers Delores Costello and Myrna Loy, and evil Russian General Noah Beery. Much of the talk is centered around the threat of war ("War will help our business," the theatrical manager says, "people want to laugh before they die") and that leads to a talk of God. Is God alive? Is He relevant? Has he been superseded by science, the military, Satan? A bearded old cleric (the only character who is in both parts of the film, although most of the lead actors are) warns them that God is gonna smote such talk, and smoted they are (you'll quickly learn that when the righteous ask for something in a prayer in this movie, they get it, but quick and but big). Lightning hits a stone bridge and knocks it down, which causes the train to crash. O'Brien rescues Costello, they fall in love, and George gets to sock the Russkie in the beezer for making a crack about the whole thing. That sock in the puss will look large in the film later on, so note that, okay?

Time passes, Big Boy joins the Army when America declares war, O'Brien insists on leaving his now-wife Delores to join, too, although he turns out to be a rotten soldier (ask Big Boy if you don't believe me). Delores is discovered by the Russian, who makes a pass at her. When it falls incomplete, he has her arrested for being a German spy, and as she stands at the Firing Squad wall, who should be one of the guys with the rifle pointed at her heaving, sobbing bosom? Why, it's George! Small world, eh? That holy guy from the previous scene (who seems to be stalking our stars) prays for help, and a heavenly-guided missile blows a hole in the yard, depositing our surviving cast into a cave from which there seems no escape. With nothing better to do, they listen to the holy man tell the story of Noah's Ark.

Okay, on to Noah's Ark. Things are tough in the world, the ancient holy man (same guy, same beard) is ignored, people are treated roughly, and in THIS part of the story, Delores is a virgin about to be sacrificed. When O'Brien tries to rescue her, he's captured, blinded (in as harrowing a sequence as I can ever recall seeing) and tortured (he shoulda stayed in 1914). God's only going to take so much of THIS, and Noah is instructed to build that ark, bring together the animals, and deliver his children from this evilness.

Okay, at last we get to the part we're all waiting for. Now, originally, this film ran about 135 min., I am told, but the 107 min. reconstruction is all that's left. Considering that what was cut out seems to have been a lot of religious sermonizing, I am satisfied with the version we've got. Let the rains fall! Flooding like you wouldn't believe, folks. Some of it is obvious optical effects, but most of it is about a kazillion gallons of water being dumped on horrified extras. Word on the street is that a few were killed, and a lot were injured, and watching this deluge, I can sure believe it. It's horrifying and fascinating at the same time (but in a different way than last night's film, Li'l Abner, was). Simply an amazing sequence that words fail to describe. Water just dashing people about everywhere, mammoth sets collapsing, and Delores Costello in a soaking wet skimpy outfit. Man, oh, man.

Costello is gorgeous, O'Brien is terrific, Guinn "Big Boy" Williams look like he should be popping jellybeans into his mouth (that's a reference to a serial I just finished watching, in case you're new here), and the film itself is fast-moving, reverent, and enjoyable. It was directed by Michael Curtiz and the original story is by Darryl F. Zanuck(!).

Released in 1928, this is a Vitaphone picture, with synchronized music and sound effects, including a theme song (a love song, just like The Poseidon Adventure and Titanic, only a better song) for the credits. There are two brief dialog sequences, including one with Miss Loy, so that's nice. Everybody sounds just fine, but it's surprising that they all speak perfect English. I guess over-the-top accents for actors playing Russians and Germans hadn't yet been invented. The music is appropriate, even though you'll expect the Green Hornet to drop in when a scene of Wall Street trader greed (still relevant) features the music Flight of the Bumblebee.

Available from Warner Archive.
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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Don Diego
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There must be another version of this around somewhere. As a kid I saw Noah's Arc at a matinee (they must have been trying to get some religion into us) but it did not have the WW I intro and side plot. The ad described how people died during filming,
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Frank Hale
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It’s had a checkered history.

Apparently it was cut by about a half for general release, then re-issued in 1957 at 75m (the version you saw, Diego?). There was a restoration to 100m in 1989 according to Maltin, then somehow it got to the current Archive length of 108m (which may simply reflect added overture and exit music – I didn’t pull out my copy to check).

Interesting attempt by Warners at DeMille territory. I didn’t like it as much as Gravy did, but I was glad to have finally seen it.
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Fantomas
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Noah's Ark was re-released in 1957, cut to 75 minutes, and with narration added. This was to capitalize on the success of The Ten Commandments. No mention in the new ads was made of the fact that it was a thirty-year-old silent movie. There's a good article about it on the Greenbriar site:

http://greenbriarpictureshows.blogspot.com/2011/04/noahs-1957-challenge-to-moses-being.html
"For life is short, but death is long."
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Don Diego
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Thanks guys - it was indeed the 1957 version I saw at the Odeon Parkdale in Toronto
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El Shaitan
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Saw it on TCM a few years ago kind of interesting not bad fx for the era. Worth a viewing.
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panzer the great & terrible
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Interesting thread. We want more!
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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