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Awful movies
Topic Started: Feb 13 2014, 04:46 PM (537 Views)
panzer the great & terrible
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Mouth Breather
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Here's a chance to go as snarky as you like. Name a really, really bad movie and talk about why it's bad. There are so many.

My first nominee is SUDDEN FEAR, with Joan Crawford giving a performance that makes her own Blanche in Baby Jane look like Helen Hayes. When she's in that closet listening to her husband and his girlfriend plotting to kill her, her mugging and eye-rolling are so over the top that even an unsophisticated audience in the small Southern town where I grew up exploded in raucous laughter. And that's just one overwrought moment among many. There's also the preposterous scene where Gloria Grahame, the scheming girlfriend, gets killed because she's wearing Crawford's coat. A genuine bomb.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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The Batman
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panzer the great & terrible
Feb 13 2014, 04:46 PM
There's also the preposterous scene where Gloria Grahame, the scheming girlfriend, gets killed because she's wearing Crawford's coat. A genuine bomb.

Isn't that a bit of a spoiler, Mr. P?

Next you're going to tell us that Rosebud is a sled.

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman!
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Don Diego
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There was a movie (one of those parody flics) a few years back that listed spoilers in the closing credits. Peanuts did the rosebud thing with Linus preparing to watch Citizen Kane for the first time with the last panel having Lucy say "Rosebud was his sled"
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Sgt King
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One of the worst films I've ever seen is "Down To Their Last Yacht" (RKO, 1934). A small group of rich people are stranded on a desert island, where they sing, fall in love with different people, Sterling Holloway (Winnie The Pooh himself) plays a saxaphone to control a roulette wheel, island black natives hold the people hostage with machine guns, etc. Mind numbingly surreal and bad!!
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panzer the great & terrible
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Mouth Breather
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In my defense, all I can say is you can't spoil something that's already rotten. And by the way, Rosebud was not a sled, it was Marion Davies' clitoris -- or so I was told.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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JazzGuyy
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And there's Tobacco Road, which I have never been able to get more than about 20 minutes into. Horrible characters with even worse "South'n" accents. Hard to believe John Ford directed it. Did he ever do anything worse, or even as bad?
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mort bakaprevski
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WHAT????

You didn't like William Tracy's manic portrayal of Dude?
"Nov Shmoz Ka Pop."
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panzer the great & terrible
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Mouth Breather
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Then there's Gigot, which TCM trots out every year in Oscar month because it won for best Best Boy or something. Jackie Gleason trying to do the Chaplin thing. Please, Hollywood. No more movies about pitiful fat guys. I'd like to leave that to my own imagination, y'know? A really ugly start to the even uglier finish of Gene Kelly's career. I'm not even gonna write about Mame, a serious contender for worst-ever big budget musical.

And yeah, Dr. Jazz. Tobacco Road. John Ford sabotaged some of his best movies with dumb comedy scenes, but this whole movie was an act of sabotage -- and the property was presold. Something similar happened with Mr. Roberts. Sure-fire material rubbed the crusty old fart the wrong way.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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Laughing Gravy
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Down to their Last Yacht sounds like a terrific movie, actually.

The Iron Petticoat is not the worst movie I've ever seen, so how come it seems like it, in retrospect?
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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panzer the great & terrible
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Mouth Breather
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Welllll, I dunno, but could it be that pairing Bob Hope with Katherine Hepburn was a bad idea?

C'mon, guys, surely there's a movie you can't abide?
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The Batman
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panzer the great & terrible
Feb 17 2014, 05:56 AM
Rosebud was not a sled, it was Marion Davies' clitoris -- or so I was told.

Would a rosebud, by any other name, smell as sweet?

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman!
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Todd 3D
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panzer the great & terrible
Feb 17 2014, 09:08 PM
Welllll, I dunno, but could it be that pairing Bob Hope with Katherine Hepburn was a bad idea?

C'mon, guys, surely there's a movie you can't abide?
I nominate The Greatest Story Ever Told. Shoulda been titled The Most Boring Movie Ever Made. You know you're in trouble when the first 30 minutes are supposed to be about the Nativity. Sorta. Kinda. Not much. Then we get 10 minutes of Charlton Heston screaming "repent". It goes down from there, possibly hitting rock bottom with John Wayne as the Roman Centaurian (wearing a wristwatch) saying "Truly this man was the son of God".
"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home"--Edward R. Murrow
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panzer the great & terrible
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Mouth Breather
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Yeah, that one was such a solid dog I had forgotten it.

Then of course there is Annie. Tomowwow, tomowwow...
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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