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The Face of Marble (1946)
Topic Started: Oct 22 2015, 05:01 AM (157 Views)
Laughing Gravy
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The Face of Marble (1946) Dir. William Beaudine
ITB Shock Theatre #139

Mad scientist John Carradine is returning the dead to life, but when he does, the animated corpses (a) have pasty white skin ("a face of marble!") and homicidal tendencies ("a monster movie cliche!"). Dr. John is so engrossed in that he fails to notice his lovely wife is falling for Mad Scientist Assistant #1 Robert Shayne, but his housekeeper notices, and she decides to murder Dr. John so that his wife can be happy with a scientist who's only slightly less insane. Dr. Robert already has a girlfriend, so the housekeeper is gonna have to get her out of the way, too, with the help of - get this - a marble-faced, homicidal maniac (formerly) dead Great Dane who can walk through walls.

Regardless of what you might think, this movie's unwatchable, as dull as anything I've ever seen, and I've seen six Mr. Wong pictures, The Soul of a Monster, and Barry Lyndon.

I'm discouraged right now. I know there will be other Shock Theatre offerings on either nights, but right now, I'm wondering why I'm even bothering. I can see why the horror craze dried up after the war: this film sucked all the life out of them. It took me two days to finally finish it, and I was bored every second. After watching, as I surfed the net for news or reviews of it, I found that even THEY were boring. Hell, THIS review is boring. Sorry; if you think the Cubs' curse is bad, well, The Face of Marble curse is obviously worse.

Beaudine directed every scene, every shot, as if he'd been told, "Look, Bill, you've got $65,000 and three days to make this movie. If you bring it in for under $50,000 and in only a day and a half, we'll give you an extra $250." I've seen movies filmed as stodgily and lifelessly as this one and with as few camera setups; they were all made in 1929.

Bottom of the barrel horrors.
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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The Batman
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Man, I gotta stop drinking when I watch movies. I've seen this one, don't remember a thing about it, but apparently I liked it enough to give it a 6/10.

Or maybe the drinking helped. Let me get through the film and helped me to forget it afterwards.


Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman!
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Laughing Gravy
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I've probably watched too many of these things. Not that I think I would like this under any circumstances.
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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The Batman
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I hear ya. I'm now debating whether I should dig it out and give it another shot.


Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman!
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panzer the great & terrible
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You two crack me up. 'Atsa great lobby card though.
Life is just a bowl of cherries, it's too mysterious, don't take it serious...
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The Batman
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We're here all week, Mr P. With a matinee show on Sunday.

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman...then always be Batman!
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