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| Patrick Spencer Fox; The Psyker (Custom Character) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 14 2009, 08:52 AM (224 Views) | |
| Dane Blackheart | May 14 2009, 08:52 AM Post #1 |
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Newbie
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Hello, First time putting a character up here at Justice so try to stay with me, think I'm fairly good, math might be a bit off, don't think so but I'm not sure. Need an ok with the Deadly enemies and the Haunted past, The secret origins- Divinely powered, I didn't know weather the "gifted" needed to be aware of said gift, so in this case, though it was his father who "unlocked" it for him, it was allways in him since brith, given by well you know the God. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Theme Music- Main Theme - My December - Linkin Park Battle Theme - Points of Authority - Linkin Park Epic Battle Theme - Through the Fire and Flames - Dragon Force Win Theme - Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park Lose Theme - In the End - Linkin Park Personal Info Name: [Patrick Spencer Fox] Alias: [Psyker] Race: [Human] Gender: [Male] Age: [17] Height: [6'2] Weight: [175] Hair: [light blue, allmost white] Eyes: [Deep, Vibrant, blue] Appearance: [tall, slightly muscular, long blue/white hair, Blue eyes, the iris's are nearly glowing. allmost allways wearing cap and mask and trenchcoat to hide features] Alignment: [Chaotic,good] Personality: [Patrick is a good person, sometimes quiet, likes to drink, allways quick with a joke or witty insight, mourning the loss of his friends and family.] Team: None Secret Origin: [Divinely Powered] Statistics Total Experience gained: 0 Experience points left to use: 35 Experience Points used: 5765 Strength: 2 Agility: 4 Accuracy: 4 Durability: 2 Will Power: 3 Powers Forcefield (Feel attacks, damaging reflecting, protect others) Level 4, 675XP : Psyker can create Bio Energy forcefields around himself and others. ForceBlast Bio-Energy (Electric) (Linked to forcefield) Level 3, 225XP : While the field is up, no matter how large or tiny it is, from it he can accumulate large amounts of it on the outer perimeter of the field and fire it at his opponents. Telekinesis Level 1, 810XP : Psyker has been able to move things, levitate himself, and other strange things since being "ignited" Enhanced Cognitation speed 180XP: Ever since that first day he was "ignited" His mind has become much faster, able to focus on many things at once. Skills I.Q Level 9 100XP : Had not events unfolded in the way they did, Patrick would have been valedictorian of his highschool, he was gifted with a very high intellectual capacity. Concentration 200XP : Patrick can block out all noise and external conflicts to focus on one thing if the situatio calls for it. Photographic Memory 300XP : Patrick has an incredible memory, able to bring things up as early as kindergarten and beyond. Challenges Medium Deadly enemies +400XP : Patrick was "ignited" by an organization his father worked for, as such he is considered their property and they send others "ignited" to capture him, they won't stop until he is dead or in their clutches. Haunted Past (Major) +600XP : Patrick was a small child when he lost his mother, they were on a large plane and it crashed in the marshlands in Florida, they found the entire crew and everyone on board dead, except for him, who they found wandering through the swamp with no recollection of what happened. Much later during the largest football game of his highschools season, he got into a fight with one of the football players during the half time, he was beaten and strung up on the town float, they paraded it onto the field for halftime and he exploded out on a cross the town banner over hand, him bloody and beaten. With the entire crowd, nearly the whole town and the whole highschool laughing at him. His father ignited the soul power within his son, a massive electrical explosion rocked from his soul, obliterating the field and everyone at the game... Guilty Conscience +300XP : Patrick know's that somehow he killed his family (uncles friends etc..) as well as a large portion of the town and the girl he loved. He will never forget what he's done. Can't ride in planes +250XP : Because of the incident as a child, he will never ride in airplanes again as the memories of the crash still haunt his dreams. Psychological +250XP : Patrick has problems with using his powers because of the day he was "ignited" and never uses them to full force, he is allways holding back never putting in his all becuase of the fear within himself. Inventory Occupation: [Apply at update board] Money: 2.000 $ [First character ONLY. Rest start with 0] Items: Weapons: Costume: [Applies to armour and such as well] Transport: Origin Patrick was a remarkable boy, even from the start he was a brilliant child. He started reading at just 2 years old, he was in school at 3 and a half, and was going through elementary school extremely fast. when he was twelve, on the fast track through eighth grade, ready to graduate to highschool (most people get out of eighth grade at 14) He and his mother were meeting his father in Florida for the summer when the plane he was in crashed, he watched as one of the engines just erupted in flames, he yelled and his mother screamed as the plane tetered in the air and then did a nose dive straight down, people were thrown from their seats and screaming, the plane evened out before crashing into the swamp, the entire plane went up in a masssive explosion. When his father finally arrived on the scene, the only remainging survivor was a terrified little boy, his son. Patrick took two years from regular school to cope with the death of his mother, he worked on experiments with his father, and even was the guine pig in what his father called "sleep education" programs, in which he would be put under for long periods of time, (once an entire month) adn then upon awaking he would be immediately tested on random knowledge he was supposed to have aquired while asleep, it was however in his mind, a failure. What he didn't know was that his father was involved with a large religious corporation that dealed in theoretical theology and its practice in science. A scientist by the name of Edward Yarvich is said to have acctually discovered the human soul, and hypothesised that if the power of the soul was ever "unlocked" a human could potentially have the power to destroy- or save the world. Patrick went back to school, now a freshman in highschool, and was beliddled and made fun of for his intelligence, he made a few deep loyal friends, and formed a large crush on the head of the gymnastics team Leona Marco. He spent Highschool in relative obscurity, every so often someone, a jock or a popular boy would make an example of him and beat him up or embarass him in some way, he believed himself above such things so while hie anger raged within he did nothing to release it. The beginning of his senior year was to be his best, over the summer he had become a camp councillor for the local summer camp, as well as Leona, they had become good friends. And at the end he had asked her to be his girlfriend. But in the beginning she was hesitant, she had a boyfriend, he battled with her boyfriend for months, but in the end he had done it, she had broken up with her Jock scum bag and they were to be together. Her boyfriend, lineman for their football team, was furious, he didn't know why she had broken up with him, and he was going to propose to her at the end of the school year, sure he had hit her a few times, sure he had had sex with her while his friends watched, but she was going to leave him and go to college, he would not be left alone. Later that year one of his friends saw her making out with patrick, this took his rage over the top, to be dumped is one thing, but to be dumped for a maggot? Quite another. Then, that night, while Patrick was preparing for the big highschool game, the one that would determine weather they made it into nationals or not, his father got callen in to supervise a new experiment. While he was out Leona came over, she announced she had finished the float that would parade around the field at half time, and that the cheer leaders would pop out of the big center of the float at the end! They kissed and for the first time he said he loved her, and she said it back. They made love at his house and went together to the game. During the game he parted with her and met some friend on the bleachers, while she went to get the float prepared. He sat with his friend for a whyile watching the game and having the best night of his life. During the first part of halftime, he went down to get a drink and meet with Leona. His father meanwhile was watching him from a satellite high above the earth, he believed he had finally found the way to unlock the human soul, he believed a part of the brain, lay acting as an inhibitor and blocking its power from being unleashed, so a tiny explosive was placed into his sons brain so it would dissolve said brain matter and unlock the soul. Drink in hand, he moved through the crowd to the bottom of the field, and past the main entrance to wait for her, when her ex boyfriend came around the corner with some friends, after some words and realizing Patrick had slept with Leona he and his friends nearly beat Patrick to death, Before Patrick blacked out Leonas ex described the awful things he was going to do to Leona before he made her his wife. When Patrick awoke he was strapped, crucify style to a large wooden cross, shrouded in darkness, naked. As he felt the float moving beneath him all he could think of was Leona, he could feel the desperation and anger rising within him. Just then the outside of the float exploded and blinding lights went rampant all over his exposed body. As he heard the crowd gasp and then laugh. He cloased his eyes and tried to think of his love. His father, loathing in his eyes, readied the experiment and made to trigger the explosive so his son could have his revenge. Patricks eyes snapped awake when he heard a scream from far away, he scanned the crowd and finnally saw the three Jocks carrying Leona Away, Tears fell down his cheeks, his world was over, they were going to violate and destroy the woman who he loved more than anything. As he screamed her name his father triggered the explosive, all at once Patrick again blacked out with blinding pain, as blue white light and electricity exploded from without his body and surged over the field and stands and the entire highschool property, in an instant, everything was destroyed... |
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| Inimicus | May 14 2009, 02:07 PM Post #2 |
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Young Justice
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Alright welcome to Justice! First off reading through your bio I get what you are TRYING to say about the divine powered origin. Yes I understand it makes sense, sadly its also not the way the origin works here sorry. To receive that origin he would have had to directly receive his powers from a divine source. If you want an origin to suit your bio I would suggest Genetically Altered. Second, please list beside your origin what the benefits are (as in what powers receive the discount) and what the downsides are. Or conversely you can just claim no benefits or downsides and put that there too ^^ now onto powers! your forcefield, without any discounts since your origin is up in the air, will cost 750 per level. your forceblast you have overcharged yourself. Linked to the forcefield it only costs 200 per level not 225. your telekenisis is at 900 a level until we work out your secret origin third you are way off on enhanced cognition speed power. That costs 800 a level as a power and 600 as a skill so if you want it as a power you need to change that cost. Time for da Skills! fourth you are perfectly able to have that high an IQ...just give me a better reason. Hell if you say he got smarter as a result of the experiments i'll let it go. However if he was just like this before I dont know if I like the reason. 7 and 8 are already very much genius IQs, 10 is so amazingly intelligent it isnt even funny anymore. So just being smart enough to be valedictorian isnt enough sorry, but give me a better resaon and we will see ![]() Challenges! Hmmm...I suppose I can let you have that deadly enemies. However I assume I will see these "ignited" people coming after him once in a while and giving him some trouble? With his haunted past yah he can have that, as long as it actually, you know, haunts him and he doesnt just always say the punks deserved it. Origin looks well written and I see no problems with it. So basically just change your secret origin or make it so some divine entity is involved directly, work on changing the XP amounts I gave you (if you do change your secret origin, remember to list which powers get the discounts just to make it easier mkay ^^). Once you do that i'll take another look. Oh and please make a new post with the changes as opposed to editing the previous, makes it easier to see where you have made changes ^^ |
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| ExarArcian | May 14 2009, 06:11 PM Post #3 |
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Challenger of the Unknown
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Inimicus, we talked about this. The IQ is fine... people don't need a reason to be born intelligent. |
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| Dane Blackheart | May 15 2009, 12:44 AM Post #4 |
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Newbie
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Okeydoke, Changed the costs, switched 'divinely powered' to 'meta-gene' Lowered IQ. -Theme Music- Main Theme - My December - Linkin Park Battle Theme - Points of Authority - Linkin Park Epic Battle Theme - Through the Fire and Flames - Dragon Force Win Theme - Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park Lose Theme - In the End - Linkin Park Personal Info Name: [Patrick Spencer Fox] Alias: [Psyker] Race: [Human] Gender: [Male] Age: [17] Height: [6'2] Weight: [175] Hair: [light blue, allmost white] Eyes: [Deep, Vibrant, blue] Appearance: [tall, slightly muscular, long blue/white hair, Blue eyes, the iris's are nearly glowing. allmost allways wearing cap and mask and trenchcoat to hide features] Alignment: [Chaotic,good] Personality: [Patrick is a good person, sometimes quiet, likes to drink, allways quick with a joke or witty insight, mourning the loss of his friends and family.] Team: None Secret Origin: [Meta-Gene] Statistics Total Experience gained: 0 Experience points left to use: 50 Experience Points used: 5750 Strength: 2 Agility: 4 Accuracy: 4 Durability: 2 Will Power: 3 Powers Forcefield (Feel attacks, damaging reflecting, protect others) Level 3, 750XP : Psyker can create Bio Energy forcefields around himself and others. ForceBlast Bio-Energy (Electric) (Linked to forcefield) Level 4, 200XP : While the field is up, no matter how large or tiny it is, from it he can accumulate large amounts of it on the outer perimeter of the field and fire it at his opponents. Telekinesis Level 1, 900XP : Psyker has been able to move things, levitate himself, and other strange things since being "ignited" Enhanced Cognitation speed 800XP: Ever since that first day he was "ignited" His mind has become much faster, able to focus on many things at once. Skills I.Q Level 5 100XP : Had not events unfolded in the way they did, Patrick would have been valedictorian of his highschool, he was gifted with a very high intellectual capacity. Concentration 200XP : Patrick can block out all noise and external conflicts to focus on one thing if the situatio calls for it. Photographic Memory 300XP : Patrick has an incredible memory, able to bring things up as early as kindergarten and beyond. Challenges Medium Deadly enemies +400XP : Patrick was "ignited" by an organization his father worked for, as such he is considered their property and they send others "ignited" to capture him, they won't stop until he is dead or in their clutches. Haunted Past (Major) +600XP : Patrick was a small child when he lost his mother, they were on a large plane and it crashed in the marshlands in Florida, they found the entire crew and everyone on board dead, except for him, who they found wandering through the swamp with no recollection of what happened. Much later during the largest football game of his highschools season, he got into a fight with one of the football players during the half time, he was beaten and strung up on the town float, they paraded it onto the field for halftime and he exploded out on a cross the town banner over hand, him bloody and beaten. With the entire crowd, nearly the whole town and the whole highschool laughing at him. His father ignited the soul power within his son, a massive electrical explosion rocked from his soul, obliterating the field and everyone at the game... Guilty Conscience +300XP : Patrick know's that somehow he killed his family (uncles friends etc..) as well as a large portion of the town and the girl he loved. He will never forget what he's done. Can't ride in planes +250XP : Because of the incident as a child, he will never ride in airplanes again as the memories of the crash still haunt his dreams. Psychological +250XP : Patrick has problems with using his powers because of the day he was "ignited" and never uses them to full force, he is allways holding back never putting in his all becuase of the fear within himself. Inventory Occupation: Money: 2.000 $ Items: Weapons: Costume: Transport: Origin Patrick was a remarkable boy, even from the start he was a brilliant child. He started reading at just 2 years old, he was in school at 3 and a half, and was going through elementary school extremely fast. when he was twelve, on the fast track through eighth grade, ready to graduate to highschool (most people get out of eighth grade at 14) He and his mother were meeting his father in Florida for the summer when the plane he was in crashed, he watched as one of the engines just erupted in flames, he yelled and his mother screamed as the plane tetered in the air and then did a nose dive straight down, people were thrown from their seats and screaming, the plane evened out before crashing into the swamp, the entire plane went up in a masssive explosion. When his father finally arrived on the scene, the only remainging survivor was a terrified little boy, his son. Patrick took two years from regular school to cope with the death of his mother, he worked on experiments with his father, and even was the guine pig in what his father called "sleep education" programs, in which he would be put under for long periods of time, (once an entire month) adn then upon awaking he would be immediately tested on random knowledge he was supposed to have aquired while asleep, it was however in his mind, a failure. What he didn't know was that his father was involved with a large religious corporation that dealed in theoretical theology and its practice in science. A scientist by the name of Edward Yarvich is said to have acctually discovered the human soul, and hypothesised that if the power of the soul was ever "unlocked" a human could potentially have the power to destroy- or save the world. Patrick went back to school, now a freshman in highschool, and was beliddled and made fun of for his intelligence, he made a few deep loyal friends, and formed a large crush on the head of the gymnastics team Leona Marco. He spent Highschool in relative obscurity, every so often someone, a jock or a popular boy would make an example of him and beat him up or embarass him in some way, he believed himself above such things so while hie anger raged within he did nothing to release it. The beginning of his senior year was to be his best, over the summer he had become a camp councillor for the local summer camp, as well as Leona, they had become good friends. And at the end he had asked her to be his girlfriend. But in the beginning she was hesitant, she had a boyfriend, he battled with her boyfriend for months, but in the end he had done it, she had broken up with her Jock scum bag and they were to be together. Her boyfriend, lineman for their football team, was furious, he didn't know why she had broken up with him, and he was going to propose to her at the end of the school year, sure he had hit her a few times, sure he had had sex with her while his friends watched, but she was going to leave him and go to college, he would not be left alone. Later that year one of his friends saw her making out with patrick, this took his rage over the top, to be dumped is one thing, but to be dumped for a maggot? Quite another. Then, that night, while Patrick was preparing for the big highschool game, the one that would determine weather they made it into nationals or not, his father got callen in to supervise a new experiment. While he was out Leona came over, she announced she had finished the float that would parade around the field at half time, and that the cheer leaders would pop out of the big center of the float at the end! They kissed and for the first time he said he loved her, and she said it back. They made love at his house and went together to the game. During the game he parted with her and met some friend on the bleachers, while she went to get the float prepared. He sat with his friend for a whyile watching the game and having the best night of his life. During the first part of halftime, he went down to get a drink and meet with Leona. His father meanwhile was watching him from a satellite high above the earth, he believed he had finally found the way to unlock the human soul, he believed a part of the brain, lay acting as an inhibitor and blocking its power from being unleashed, so a tiny explosive was placed into his sons brain so it would dissolve said brain matter and unlock the soul. Drink in hand, he moved through the crowd to the bottom of the field, and past the main entrance to wait for her, when her ex boyfriend came around the corner with some friends, after some words and realizing Patrick had slept with Leona he and his friends nearly beat Patrick to death, Before Patrick blacked out Leonas ex described the awful things he was going to do to Leona before he made her his wife. When Patrick awoke he was strapped, crucify style to a large wooden cross, shrouded in darkness, naked. As he felt the float moving beneath him all he could think of was Leona, he could feel the desperation and anger rising within him. Just then the outside of the float exploded and blinding lights went rampant all over his exposed body. As he heard the crowd gasp and then laugh. He cloased his eyes and tried to think of his love. His father, loathing in his eyes, readied the experiment and made to trigger the explosive so his son could have his revenge. Patricks eyes snapped awake when he heard a scream from far away, he scanned the crowd and finnally saw the three Jocks carrying Leona Away, Tears fell down his cheeks, his world was over, they were going to violate and destroy the woman who he loved more than anything. As he screamed her name his father triggered the explosive, all at once Patrick again blacked out with blinding pain, as blue white light and electricity exploded from without his body and surged over the field and stands and the entire highschool property, in an instant, everything was destroyed... |
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| ExarArcian | May 18 2009, 12:30 AM Post #5 |
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Challenger of the Unknown
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Everything checks out on my end, except for that Justice doesn't have a Bio-Energy element. Here, Energy is an element that does it's own, that I'm assuming has a little heat, and a little force, but nothing like concussive or actual heat elements respectively. So... did you want Energy or Electric for your shield? I'm assuming Electric for your Force Blast, but if not, let me know. So, there's just that little manner of housekeeping, but other than that, and unless Inimicus sees something I don't math wise, this is all good to go. As soon as you let me know that stuff, the character is approved, though I might not get him up right away, feel free to start RPing. Welcome to Justice. |
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| Inimicus | May 18 2009, 01:51 AM Post #6 |
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Young Justice
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Math and everything looks good to me too, so yah just those changes Exar said. Welcome to Justice! |
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| Dane Blackheart | May 18 2009, 10:25 AM Post #7 |
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Newbie
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Yeah Electricity is fine for everything, thanks a bunch |
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1:46 AM Jul 11