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Of Heart, Home, and Sorrow; Fluttershy
Topic Started: Mar 1 2013, 06:04 AM (247 Views)
Applejack
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Home.

It was a simple word, one taken for granted. Most never thought about the roof over their head, or the ones that shared the home with them. Most never even thought on a bigger scale, of the town or city they could also call home, or of the friends and family that also resided there. The word generally meant a place of comfort, a place of shelter, somewhere one could relax in without fear of an invasion of privacy. Or, if not describing a certain building, it was in reference to an area, a place where ones fondest memories were held, a place where one knew the society around them, and was proud to be a part of that society. It was that kind of place that Applejack returned to after her few months spent at Hollow Shades, now staring out over the small town in front of her from her place at the train station with a wistful smile. She was home.

Three months wasn't truly that long of a time period, but being away for that long had made it feel like so much longer. She'd been away from her family and the farm house, away from her best friends. She'd been away from all of the things that made life in Ponyville so pleasant... and now she felt a certain sensation of peace and nostalgia covering her like a blanket as she made sure her saddlebags were tied to her flank and her hat still secure on her head, before moving forward through the familiar town.

Being in the middle of the day, many ponies were milling about the lazy town's streets, and almost each and every one offered a friendly wave and welcome home to the orange cowpony, to which she fondly returned with a "howdy" and a wave of her own. She'd missed how friendly the other townsfolk were in her time away, and this only served as a reminder of how much she enjoyed the place she called home, and why she loved it so much. During her walk, Applejack passed by some of the buildings her friends resided in and stopped by to say hello, only to be a little disheartened that she'd come by at a time that they weren't around.

She'd see them another time soon, though--or, at the very least, they'd come find her once they learned she was back in town. So Applejack just continued making her way through Ponyville on her way to the farm, to where her family was no doubt anxiously waiting for the moment Applejack finally came back home. Smiling a little bit wider, Applejack's gait hastened slightly though she still took her time to enjoy the scenery she'd been away from for those long few months.

Before actually reaching her farm, however, Applejack passed by a familiar road, one that led to one of her friends' houses: Fluttershy's cottage, to be exact. She paused for a moment, staring down that road as she debated whether or not to drop off her things first and say hello to her family, or whether to catch back up with Fluttershy. For a brief moment, Applejack remembered how the mare had been acting before she left: skittish around Applejack, seemingly nervous, and almost a little bit spaced out from time to time.

Readjusting the hat on her head once more, Applejack turned and followed this road, deciding it wouldn't be too much trouble. An anxious feeling churned in Applejack's stomach the closer and closer she got to Fluttershy's cottage, not because she was nervous about talking to her friend again, but excited for it. She could only guess how happy Fluttershy would be to see her again--just as she'd be happy to see Fluttershy once more. It was a feeling topped only by the prospect of finally reaching home once more.

It didn't take very long before Applejack found herself standing in the yard in front of Fluttershy's cottage. Wistful smile still on her face, Applejack ran her eyes over the familiar building in front of her, then over the nearby animal pens, then to the view beyond that. She then stepped forward after that and approached the front door of the building in front of her before lifting a hoof and rapping it on Fluttershy's door. After that she took a few steps back and waited, the smile now having spread wider across her face.
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Home.

It was a simple word, one that didn't really seem to live up to its title. It was supposed to be a sanctuary: A place where you could relax, forget your troubles, and be with the ones that care about you. But that wasn't what it really was: It was a door. A door that you lock yourself behind to hide from the things in the real world. A desperate attempt to escape reality. But that door could never remain shut forever: sooner or later, you had to face the things on the other side.

Fluttershy almost lazily lied down on her couch, hardly moving an inch. She was exhausted, and yet she couldn't sleep. Her mane was a frazzled mess, and strain clearly showed on her eyes. It had pretty much been like this the past 3 months: She would tend to her critters, then just sit on the couch and do nothing. She would go out to get supplies, and if a friend came by she would accompany them so she wouldn't be rude, but besides that she was practically as still as the pillows she leaned against.

It wasn't that she couldn't do anything... She just didn't feel like doing anything. The past three months and beyond had been a gigantic emotional roller coaster for her: and she was sick of riding on it. She wished she didn't feel like she had to sulk around like this, but no matter how she managed to distract herself, it always went back to her problems... It always went back to her.

"A...Applejack? I have something I need to tell you. It's... important."

She ran the same scene through her head for what had to be the hundredth time that month. She had been so close: They were alone, the mood was just right, and Applejack was far from being oblivious to her odd behavior. It was five simple words: "I have feelings for you." Either they would spark something, or Applejack would politely try to help her get over it. It should have been a cake walk.

Then why did she choke on her words and run like a coward?

Letting out a small whimper, Fluttershy buried her head into her pillow almost childishly. How could she possibly face Applejack after doing that? The cowmare had probably been worried sick about her, and now she was probably thinking that Fluttershy didn't trust her enough to tell her what was wrong. She felt horrible for doing what she did.

And she wasn't able to get another chance, either. Applejack had left three months prior to handle some business over in Hallow Shades: Something about doing some work there to earn some new crops. She had no idea when she would return, but she honestly couldn't decide. Fluttershy didn't even have enough courage to say goodbye to her at the train station that day: she had simply sat where she was now, sobbing tears of regret and wondering if things would ever work themselves out.

It had been a quarter of a year and she still didn't know the answer to that. But her paranoia had her believing that Applejack probably hated her at this point. She had been nothing but rude and mysterious, and she didn't even have the decency to say goodbye to her. And even if she didn't hate her by this point, she had a gut feeling what waited for her back home would change that...

She snapped out of her daze as she heard a knock on her door, causing her ears to twitch slightly. Even before she secluded herself like this, she hardly ever got visitors: it was probably just Twilight coming to check in on her. She pathetically slid off the couch and onto her hooves, trotting over to the door as she tried to straighten out her mane a bit with one of her hooves.

As she opened her door, a familiar shade of orange filled her eyes that made her freeze up in the very spot she stood. Her eyes widened, her heart skipped a beat and her legs began to tremble slightly. "A...A...Applejack...?" she said in a rasp tone, looking at her crush as if she had just seen a ghost.

No... Why now? She didn't prepare for this. She figured she would get at least some warning that Applejack had returned home, but here she was, standing at her door with a sincere smile that was almost cruel to see. She suddenly felt more confused and helpless than she had ever felt, as if she was some lost foal staring down a gigantic Manticore.

Tears began to stream from her eyes as her expression grew more and more pained. What was she supposed to say? 'Hi, welcome back, sorry I didn't say farewell. Did you see your surprise back home yet?' "I-I, I'm s-sorry... I-I can't... You just..." she couldn't help herself: slowly, she backed away from the door, then turned and ran up her stairs at full speed with loud sobs, slamming her bedroom door shut and locking it tightly behind her.

She crawled into her bed and went underneath her covers, tears dripping from her eyes like a faucet. Here she was, running away from her problems once again. It was never the right thing to do, and yet she continued to do it. She was a coward, and she ironically didn't deserve Applejack's kindness. Any slimmer of a chance at redemption was probably gone now anyways. Still croaking out sobs, she silently hid herself under her blankets, waiting for any sign of Applejack leaving her home...
Edited by Fluttershy, Mar 3 2013, 11:02 PM.
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Applejack had to wait only a few moments before she heard movement on the other side of her door, followed by the latch turning and the door being opened. The anxiousness that welled up inside of her before-hand had built up to the point where she had been shaking as she waited, but that feeling faded--along with her smile--as she saw the state of the mare on the other side of the door, as well as the way she reacted to Applejack's return. She had thought it was going to be a lot smoother than this, not that it would wind up with Fluttershy staring at Applejack fearfully, almost shamefully even.

Stunned, Applejack just grew more and more confused as tears came to Fluttershy's eyes and she took a step back, stammering a little bit as trembling words came from her mouth. Then, as she always did when something became too overwhelming for her, Fluttershy began to back away from the door until finally, she just turned outright and sprinted up her stairs. Not sure what to think of the situation, Applejack just stared at the stairwell from her place at the outside of Fluttershy's cottage.

She had to go inside and check up on her. She hated to walk into Fluttershy's home uninvited like this, but something was wrong with Fluttershy, and Applejack needed to see what it was. So, tentatively, Applejack moved hoof after hoof into Fluttershy's cottage until she had all four inside, where she paused for a moment before sighing quietly, shutting the door behind her and climbing the stairs that Fluttershy had retreated to.

Applejack approached the door to Fluttershy's bedroom and quietly knocked once more as she called out to the mare hiding in her bedroom. "Fluttershy... what's goin' on? Yer worryin' me, actin' like this. C'mon, talk t' me, sugarcube." Applejack paused for a moment, hoping to hear some kind of reaction from the mare, but still only heard silence. Sighing quietly, she stared at the door for a moment; what was she going to do? It was hard to get Fluttershy to cooperate when she was acting like this, and a test of the door's handle indicated it was locked.

As she tried to think, she heard a quiet jingle just to her side. A small terrier had approached Applejack, a keyring in its mouth. Smiling lightly, Applejack reached over and gave the dog a gentle pat on its head before taking the keys from it, reminded for a moment of Winona. She couldn't wait to get back to her--she no doubt missed Applejack as much as Applejack missed her.

"Alright, 'Shy, Ah'm not takin' no fer an answer; somethin's wrong, an' Ah wanna find out what... so Ah'm comin' in." With that, Applejack began testing the few rings on the key until she found the one that went to the door in front of her, then unlocked the door. Leaving the key inside its locked, Applejack slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside, stopping momentarily to remove her saddlebags from her flank before moving over to the bed that the mare had taken refuge on.

She gently pulled herself onto the edge and sat with her back hooves hanging over the edge before reaching over and placing a hoof on what she imagined was Fluttershy's shoulders. "Now, c'mon, hon; this wasn't exactly th' reaction Ah was expectin' t' get. So tell me what's wrong, so we can catch up?"
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Fluttershy didn't even flinch as Applejack called at her through the door. All of the feelings that she had tried surpressing over the past few months suddenly started flowing out like a river, and in that time she had even more things she couldn't bring herself to tell Applejack. Why did she always come back to her? Was she really this forgiving? She supposed she should have expected persistence like this, but it didn't matter how many times she tried: Fluttershy would always just find an excuse to run. She couldn't tell her... She just couldn't.

She heard Applejack clarify that she wasn't about to take no for an answer, but Fluttershy always kept her keys in a safe and secluded location, so unless the cowmare had the intention of breaking her door down, she didn't quite see how she was going to get in. Which made it every bit more cringe-worthy when she heard the lock on her door click, as the sound of hooves made their way to her bed and she heard the padder of paws outside. It seemed even her own animals just wanted her to get things over with...

She felt Applejack press a hoof against her shoulder from outside her covers, causing her to shiver even though it wasn't exactly direct contact. She couldn't exactly run anymore... Applejack wasn't going to be satisfied until she got some kind of an answer, so she had to tell her something... Slowly, she poked her head out from under her sheets and looked up at Applejack with her tired eyes. And it was a perfect analogy: Tired. She was tired of running away from this. Every time she did, she felt miserable... Even then, this wasn't exactly the time to confess her feelings. Not when there was a bigger issue on thier hooves.

"A...Applejack..." She started, shakily taking in a breath. "I... I know I've done nothing but run from you all these months, and I'm sorry... You've always been honest with me, even when you knew the truth might hurt, and you more than deserve the same treatment... And I-I... I've been keeping a big secret from you ever since we started getting ready for Nightmare Night."

She looked away shamefully. "B-but I just can't tell you. No matter how hard I try, I just can't say it. I'm not sure how big of a deal it will be to you, b-but it's such a big deal to me... A-and I'm just too afraid to say it."

She felt her eyes start to swell up even more. "B-but... what that is isn't important right now. It would almost be cruel of me to say it now, when..." She tried to will herself to look the cowpony in the eyes and finish her sentence, but she quickly retreated her gaze. "W...While you were gone... Something horrible happened. A-and... I-I couldn't do anything to stop it. Y...You'll probably hate me for this, but you deserve to know."

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat as she tried to say what had transpired in her time away. "A...Applebloom came by about three weeks ago. Winnona... Was sick. Very sick... The poor girl couldn't even s-stand a-and..." She started breaking out into sporatic sobs as she continued. "I took care of her for as long as I c-could, but nothing I had seemed to work. H-her body was just too old to fight it off. A-and... she..." Fluttershy paused, and after awhile she buried her face into her pillow. She hoped she didn't have to finish... Applejack could probably fit two and two together. She couldn't bare to see the look on her face, nor could she bring herself to say another word.


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Finally, at Applejack's behest, Fluttershy poked her head out from under the sheets and looked up to Applejack. She didn't exactly look like she was in the best of shapes, what with her frazzled mane and how tired she seemed, but at least Applejack could see that now. She offered a gentle, reassuring smile to the mare beside her, hoof still held on her shoulder as she began to talk.

Fluttershy began with how she'd been keeping a secret from Applejack, causing the smile on her face to fade slightly in confusion. Why couldn't she tell her? Fluttershy knew she could say anything to her. The only reason Applejack could come up with was that Fluttershy was so ashamed of it, which was the reason she had been acting as she was at Nightmare Night: stumbling over her words, acting so nervous around Applejack, avoiding her gaze as much as possible... The only question now was what that secret was.

Apparently, however, that wasn't the biggest news. With her expression of confusion growing slightly, she listened to how Fluttershy mentioned something horrible having happened while she was away. Soon after, the mare said Winona's name and most of the color drained from her face as her expression changed into one of shock. Fear began to well up inside of her, and Applejack could only guess what the last words Fluttershy was unable to speak were.

Winona was dead.

For a moment, she just sat there in a daze, a certain part of her feeling like it had suddenly been torn away from her, her mind feeling like it no longer wanted to cooperate with her. She stared at Fluttershy, silence growing before she finally stammered out, "W-Winona's... she's... n-no, no no no!" Applejack cried, scrambling off of Fluttershy's bed before running out of her room, accidentally slamming into the wall of the mare's house with her side, then jumping down Fluttershy's stairs as many steps as she could at one time. She slowed only long enough to open the door to Fluttershy's cottage before slingshotting out of the mare's house, leaving her saddlebags still in Fluttershy's room as she galloped away at a dead sprint.

As a result, it didn't take her all that long to get back home. She slammed open the door and stepped inside, breathing hard and her eyes wide in fear. She glanced around to look for somepony before seeing movement at the top of the stairs. Big Mac briskly came down from upstairs to see what the ruckus was, only to pause and wince at seeing Applejack's expression. "Where is she...?" Applejack quietly demanded of her brother, who continued down the stairs and silently gestured for her to follow, his own expression now somber as well.

Applejack followed him into the backyard, where she could immediately see a new marker that wasn't there before: a small pile of stones, no doubt used to mark where Winona had been buried. Tears welled up in Applejack's eyes upon seeing that marker and she sluggishly walked over to it, hardly able to believe the scene before her was real. Winona was gone... The dog that had always been there for her every time she needed her, the dog that loved her unconditionally just as Applejack loved her... She was dead; there was no bringing her back.

Applejack knew it had been coming for some time. Day by day the collie had been growing older and weaker--it was obvious she didn't have the energy she used to, so every day was just a losing battle against the inevitability of time. But it didn't make the loss any easier, especially when she realized she couldn't have been there for Winona's last moments. Her tears now streaming down her face, Applejack sank down onto the ground next to the grave, quietly staring at it as Big Mac came up beside her and placed a hoof on her back, doing what he could to console his grief-stricken sister.
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Fluttershy watched in sympathy as she saw her friend's face grow more and more horrified. "I-I'm so sorry, Applejack, I'm so, so sorry... I tried to-" she was cut off as the mare finally spoke up on the matter, and Fluttershy found she wasn't able to say another word as she shot off the bed and out of her room and cringe-worthingly crashing into her wall on the way out. She found that she could only stare emptily at the doorway for what seemed like ages before she allowed herself to collapse onto her bed once again.

Applejack would probably be on her own for the next few days, knowing her. She wouldn't want to socialize too much when she might be afraid she would break down in front of somepony. It was understandable, and Fluttershy would respect that. Frankly, she felt she had done enough over the past few months. Slowly, she unburried her face from her pillow and rubbed her eyes, sniffing quietly to herself as she let her mind wander once again.

Her mind drifted back to Angel... It was almost ironic how similar these two situations were... She had mostly gotten over his passing, but even that was only really because of Applejack in her own opinion. She had comforted her in her time of need... Why couldn't she do the same?

She found herself wondering what Angel would do if he was still alive. In all likelyhood, he would grab her by the tail and drag her down the path to Sweet Apple Acres. She smiled at that thought... He had always been the reason she dedicated herself to helping other animals, and even other ponies to an extent. And despite the time since his passing, she wasn't quite sure if she had quite as much passion to do so. And yet...

"Y' had t' learn t' fend fer yerself eventually, sugarcube... Ah know it's a scary thought, but yer a grown mare now; ya gotta be able t' make yer own choices..."

Applejack's words from that fateful night rang out clearly in her head. She never denied that she was right... It was just such a strange feeling, making all these hard choices on her own. It felt odd to say that as a grown mare, but it remained true regardless. Maybe it was about time she stepped out of her cofort zone, and made her own choice, regardless of wether or not it was the best choice.

She crawled out of her bed slowly in an almost entranced fashion, quietly trotting down her stairs as she continued to think. By the time she managed to snap herself out of it, she noticed she was already half way down the road as some of the critters nearby wished her the best of luck. For the first time in months, she felt herself smile... She had no real reason to, and yet she did it anyways. After whiping it off, she managed to continue down the orchard road, towards the Apple Family Home to remake a scene she remembered all-too well.

As expected, Applejack was sitting out by where they had buried Winnona several weeks earlier. She cautiously trotted to her and her brother, the latter looking at her with an equally quiet glance. Almost as if linked, Big Mac simply let out a nod as he gave Applejack one last pat on the back, as Fluttershy took in a deep breath and made her way over to the hauntingly quiet Applejack.

She sat down next to her and wrapped a wing around her shoulder, not doing anything more than that for several minutes. When she felt the silence had lasted long enough, she finally spoke up in her soft, understanding voice.

"She loved you very much, you know. She could never have asked for a better owner." she said, heaitantly resting her head on Applejack as she tried to surpress a blush. "She didn't blame you either... For not being there, I mean. She knew you were just doing what you had to do, for your family and the place she called home. I don't think I've ever seen a happier dog in my life..."

"I-I... I made her as comfortable as I could. I tried to help her hold on for when you returned, but.. It was just her time. Just like it was Angel's time..." she felt a stinge of pain as she brought it up again, but continued. "She knows you'll do fine without her... She loved you with all of her heart, and she's never really gone. She'll always be a part of you... I know that sounds a bit cheesy, but it's true. I promise."

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but... I know how you feel, Applejack. And it's like you said to me... You don't have to do this alone. You have your family, and your friends..." she found herself pausing for a monent. "...A-and, um, me. So please... Don't feel like you need to do this alone. It's not healthy, for you or for us..."
Edited by Fluttershy, Mar 12 2013, 12:36 AM.
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No matter how much Applejack stared at the grave before her, it didn't get any easier to believe this was her reality. Winona was the best companion anypony could ask for and she was gone... never coming back. Tears never came to Applejack's eyes, but it was obvious how much the scene was affecting her by her silence and demeanor; the normally easy-going cowpony was now stuck in a depression, and it probably wasn't going to easily change.

So when the wing finally found its way around her shoulder, she didn't even bother to look over to see who had joined her. Instead, she continued to sit in silence, lamenting the loss of the smartest and faithful dog she'd had. Even when the one who'd wrapped their wing around Applejack's shoulder spoke up, she didn't look up from the grave and barely even listened to what was said--practically the only reason she did so was because the pony who had come up to her was Fluttershy.

It was, of course, about Winona. Her head sunk a bit as Fluttershy began to talk about the dog, sinking even further into her depression now that she had to talk about it. She knew Winona loved her, anypony could have seen that. However, she wasn't sure if she could agree that Winona didn't blame her--she died when Applejack was away, so what if a broken heart had been part of the problem in the first place? What if that had been why Winona had even gotten sick?

Then Fluttershy talked about how she'd done what she could, but that it was just her time to go. She closed her eyes at that, remembering how she'd told Fluttershy much of the same back when Angel had died as well. It hurt so much to hear that. She knew Fluttershy didn't say it out of spite, but it was the truth... and sometimes the truth was hard to swallow. Fluttershy then mentioned how she wasn't alone in this, that she still had her friends and family. That was true enough, but the only thing that would be able to help her through this now was time. The only thing they could do was support her.

After Fluttershy stopped talking Applejack finally moved, if only to turn and wrap her hooves around Fluttershy. She held tightly onto the mare, eyes shut as she embraced her friend for a good minute or so in silence. Then, finally, she spoke up, her voice carrying an uncharacteristic tone of defeat. "Ah appreciate it, 'Shy. Tryin'a help me through this like Ah did fer you... but... Ah don't think this's somethin' Ah'll get over fer a few days. She was family, sugarcube, an' it ain't easy losin' another apple from th' bushel. Ah just wish... Aw, nevermind," Applejack murmured, pulling away from the embrace and pushing herself up onto her hooves.

She glanced to the grave after that and stared for a few moments before turning and silently trotting off again, gaze stuck on the ground before her as she moved to the entrance of the farm. When Fluttershy caught up to her Applejack spoke up again, voice still a murmur. "Ah gotta get mah saddlebags from yer house, 'Shy. If Ah don't take care o' th' nightshade soon, mah trip'll be an entire waste." From there, Applejack went silent again, gaze locked onto the ground as she continued on the walk to Fluttershy's house.

Yet even there, her problems followed. She went with Fluttershy into the house, only to turn her attention to the terrier who'd brought her the keys. She didn't do anything for the first few moments but stare, until finally she collapsed onto the ground sobbing, right in the middle of Fluttershy's floor.
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Fluttershy felt a brief wave of relief wash over her as Applejack willingly wrapped her hooves around her, giving the cowpony a light nuzzle as she remained silent, not feeling like she needed to say much more. Not to mention the extremely guilty pleasure she got when she was embracing Applejack like this, but she didn't feel the need to bring that up quite yet.

But the moment she heard Applejack start to speak, she felt her confidence waver slightly. She felt a stinge of guilt as Applejack accused her of trying the same tactic she had done on her months ago. It was similar, yes, but it didn't make it any less true in her eyes. She also felt a tad hurt when she clarified that Winnona was family: Angel was the closest thing to family she had these days. Did that not count?

Applejack seemed to give up before she could go any farther, squirming out of her grasp and leaving Fluttershy to look at her now empty hooves in an almost confused way. She should have expected that just because it worked for her didn't mean it would work for Applejack... But how else would she be able to help her through this?

She snapped herself back to reality as she noticed Applejack trot off down the trail. She quickly scurried back to her hooves and caught up to her, as she rather bluntly stated that she needed her saddlebags back. Was this really the best time to work? It might help, knowing Applejack, but she still wasn't sure how it would turn out when she was like this... Her head slowly lowered as she didn't utter a single word the entire way back.

A thought crossed her mind as Applejack walked through the door, but just as she was about to put together the pieces of why it might not be the best idea for her to go inside, she saw her stare almost horrifyingly at the Terrier that lounged on her couch. She felt her heart skip a beat, as she cautiously made her way closer to her friend right before she collapsed onto the floor below.

She found herself staring almost as Applejack. Seeing a pony as strong-willed and reserved as Applejack sprawled on her floor in a flood of tears wasn't just painful to watch... It was agonizing. she slowly lowered herself down, picking up Applejack and putting her in a sitting position as she rested a hoof on her back, letting out gentle shushes as she tried to calm her down and hold back tears of her own.

"I... I don't have to say anything if you don'y want me to, Applejack. We don't have to talk about what happened, what will happen, or who is going to help you through all this." she found herself wrapping her into a small hug as her voice began to croak. "But please, don't tell me to leave you alone after this... I just can't do that. I care about you too much to let you get through this alone..."

After holding her for a few more moments, she leaned down and grabbed the mare's fallen hat in her mouth, then leaned up and put it back on the head of it's rightful owner as she whipped tears from her eyes, as well as her own. "I'm not about to leave this alone, no matter what you say... I-if that's okay, I mean." she said in a half-kidding tone, giving her yet another light hug.
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Not caring that Fluttershy was there to see her break down like this, Applejack continued to sob in the middle of the mare's home, her broken heart causing her sorrow that she could no longer contain. The strong mare who normally tried not to cry like this in front of her family and friends was now a miserable pile of sadness, not giving any thought to what that would do to the sensitive mare whose house she wept in.

Surprisingly enough, it didn't seem to affect her all that much. Applejack soon found herself being pulled up to a sitting position, where Fluttershy then placed a gentle hoof on her back and did her best to soothe Applejack who just continued to sob quietly, letting out all of her woes and frustrations. By the time Fluttershy began to speak, her crying had been reduced almost to only tears; when she heard the mare's own voice crack as she hugged Applejack she winced slightly, remembering that her tears and sadness were affecting other ponies as well, suddenly feeling guilty for that fact. Especially since Fluttershy seemed so passionate on the subject, the normally timid pegasus now telling Applejack flat-out that she wasn't going to leave her be, no matter what she could say on the subject.

Despite herself, Applejack let out a brief laugh at Fluttershy's last words, lifting one of her hooves to rub at her cheeks after Fluttershy wiped her tears away before readjusting the hat that had been placed back upon her head. "Ah reckon if yer gonna be that way about it, sugarcube, there ain't no stoppin' ya," she said, her voice still carrying a bit of a slower, melancholy tone. "Ah didn't let ya go through this alone either, so in all fairness Ah s'pose Ah kin let ya do th' same..." Offering a quiet sigh, Applejack pushed herself up onto all four hooves before sniffling quietly and swallowing the lump in her throat. She glanced over to Fluttershy then, watching the mare for a moment or two before offering her a weak smile. "Y'know, yer gonna make some lucky stallion happy some day."
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Fluttershy
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She felt about a thousand times better once she heard Applejack let out a weak chuckle. It wasn't much, but it was better than having her continue to sulk, as hypocritical as she might have been for expecting that from her. She continued to give her a calm smile as she put her hat back on and spoke to her.

Her tone was still rather solem, though it was better than it was on the way over. She found herself blushing slightly as Applejack claimed that she seemingly didn't have a choice in the matter. She looked back at Applejack from behind her mane as she looked back at her, and she took solance in the smile she gave her... Or rather, she nearly did.

"Y'know, yer gonna make some lucky stallion happy some day."

"...some lucky stallion..."

"Stallion."

Any hint of emotion seemed to drain from Fluttershy's face at that very moment. Her gaze removed itself from Applejack and just seemed to stare blankly forward, more than likely to Applejack's concern. In her mind, she could swear she felt something snap. That one word. Normally hearing it meant nothing to her, but in this context it almost felt insulting, even if that was the last thing Applejack wanted to do.

"...A-and... What if I don't want a stallion?" she murmured, likely only barely loud enough for Applejack to hear. Slowly, she rose back to her hooves and trotted around aimlessly, her voice slowly gaining emotion and tone.

"I mean, it could happen, yes, but it's who that pony is that's more important. What if I wanted a pony who I knew would protect me from harm? Who genuinely cared about me? Who was really, really pretty and never seemed to give herself enough credit for it?" her pace quickened, and her voice was completely audible now, and it just kept going.

"Somepony who has a really nice mane, a-and works really hard, and has helped me through a lot of hard times and works on an Apple Farm and would-do-anything-for-her-family-and-never-tells-a-lie-and-always-tries-her-best-and-is-brave-and..."

It seemed that she finally realized the impact of what she just said, as she stopped dead in her tracks and practically felt her heart stop. Her face ignited, brighter than Applejack had ever seen it illuminate before. She couldn't bring herself to look in Applejack's direction. Normally, this would be her cue to run, but for some reason she didn't want to. So to compensate, she scurried behind her couch, as if having some false hope that Applejack would lose sight of her despite her bushy tail clearly sticking out from the side.
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To her confusion, Fluttershy didn't quite react to her words the way she thought she might. She just stared forward, her expressions blank as she finally answered Applejack with a curious question before getting up to slowly begin walking around the room. What if she didn't want a stallion? That was an interesting question, one Applejack would never think she'd hear from Fluttershy.

She did have a good point with what she said after that, and Applejack turned her gaze to the floor, feeling a little bad for what she'd said now that the mare began talking. The first two things were things Applejack could see Fluttershy wanting--as might any pony. But the third thing was oddly specific; why would Fluttershy want somepony who didn't give theirselves credit for their looks? To her surprise, it only continued to get more specific from there. Fluttershy's gait quickened as she paced about her own house--even her voice gained a little strength as she lost herself in her rant. She mentioned a pony who had a nice mane, that worked hard, that helped her through so many times when she needed it, that worked on an Apple Farm...

That worked on an Apple Farm.

In sudden realization, Applejack stared breathlessly at Fluttershy as she finished the rest of her little outburst before her own realization made her pause mid-stride and mid-sentence, the brightest of blushes igniting in the mare's cheeks. She did nothing but watch as Fluttershy realized this and quickly hid behind her own couch, most likely out of embarrassment. Her gaze lowered to the ground after that, the shock of Fluttershy's sudden admittance of her feelings making her mind reel. That explained every time for when Fluttershy tried to avoid her, or was nervous around her, or kept stumbling over her words... And Applejack had missed all of that, thinking there was something completely different for why she had been acting that way.

She remained silent for a few moments before pushing herself up from the floor and stepping over to the couch Fluttershy hid behind. Instead of trying to coax the mare out, however, she slowly climbed onto the couch and sat down, her depressed and dazed expression still held onto the floor below. "All this time, an' Ah kept thinkin' Ah'd upset you in some way. Ah never, ever thought t' think that maybe it was 'cause you liked me..." She leaned back on the couch after that, resting against the seat before continuing, her gaze now staring forward instead. Her gaze caught onto something resting on a shelf on the other side of the living room and a slow half-smile spread across her face as she thought back to that moment.

"Y'know... there was more t' me wantin' you t' be th' one cheerin' me on when Ah was practicin' fer th' rodeo, an' me wantin' t' spend time with you at Nightmare Night," she began quietly, still leaning back against the couch. "Ah... well, Ah had a bit of a crush on you, too, sugarcube." She paused for a moment after that, the truth from both of them finally having come out. "Ah kept tryin'a figure out if maybe things could work out, but y'never seemed t' really... catch on, an' with th' way you were actin', Ah figured maybe it wasn't th' best time, that you had somethin' else on yer mind. It figures that we were so close..."

AFter that, Applejack pushed herself up from the couch, only to walk over to the shelf that held the object she'd been staring at for the past few moments. Upon reaching it, she lifted the heart-shaped plushie that Fluttershy had won on Nightmare Night from its place on the shelf before carrying it over to the couch. She climbed up onto the couch again, only this time she draped herself over the back of it so she could lower the heart down to Fluttershy. "Ah meant everythin' Ah said that night, 'Shy. 'Specially when Ah said Ah enjoyed spendin' time with you 'cause it was so simple. An' if Ah could do it again?

"Ah would in a heartbeat."
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Fluttershy was practically quivering behind the couch that acted as her shield. She would think that finally getting across the point she had been trying to make for months now would ease some of her stress, but at this point she couldn't remember a time that her heart had thumped faster than this. She had put her cards on the table... And now, it was time for Applejack to obliterate it with a hand of her own, like she had expected her to a long time ago.

She heard the couch in front of her creak, indicating that Applejack had taken a seat. She spoke up in the familiar defeated tone she wished she wouldn't have to hear again, as she finally came to terms with why she had been acting the way she had ever since that rather eventful day. She wanted to croak out an apology, but the anticipation of her response had rendered her nearly speechless.

Silence fell for a short while, and she contemplated poking her head out to see what was going on. Just as she was about to poke out her head from behind her 'shield', she heard Applejack speak up, causing her to retract and return to the safety below. She mentioned that there had been more to her invitations then she had lead on... But for what reason? Had she been worried about her? Maybe she pitied her? Was she testing her?

"Ah... well, Ah had a bit of a crush on you, too, sugarcube."

Everything stopped right then and there. Every single limb in her body felt like it had turned to complete mush. She had to bite off the temptation to bite herself several times, because if this was a dream, she did not want to wake up. She felt herself begin to feel light headed, and the only thing keeping her awake was the sheer desire to confirm that this wasn't some kind of cruel joke.

She wasn't even aware of the sound of the couch creaking as Applejack made her way towards the shelf where she kept various momentos of her life. It was only when she returned and covered the back of the couch with her shadow that Fluttershy finally looked up at her, eyes practically shimmering with hope. With Applejack's final words and the best pun she had ever heard in her lifetime, she finally removed any doubt from her mind as joyful tears began to stream down her face.

Within an instant, she rushed around the couch and practically tackled her compantion, nuzzling into her with more affection than Applejack had ever seen her give in her lifetime. She let out constant squeaks of joy as she did so, unable to utter a single word as she did so. The War could have come knocking at her doorstep and she still wouldn't have let up. It had been the first time she had felt truely happy in months, and she wasn't about to let anything get in thr way of that. Not now, not ever.


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Applejack
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Thankfully, what Applejack said helped quell Fluttershy's fears... So much so to the point where Fluttershy immediately darted out from behind the couch and around to her and tackled into her, nuzzling furiously into her upon contact. Despite the fact that Fluttershy had knocked Applejack over--as well as some of the wind out of her--she couldn't help but laugh quietly as she slowly wrapped her hooves around the mare, waiting for the moment when her squeals stopped.

Those squeals... They were adorable. They were sounds that came out of Fluttershy only when she was truly happy over something, and this was one of those moments. It was surreal, knowing that she was the cause of Fluttershy's happiness... but nice all at the same time. It just made Applejack want to give her reason to make those sounds more, on top of no longer having a general sense of loneliness follow her. There were still things she had to take care of first before she could focus on this relationship with Fluttershy, however...

When Fluttershy finally calmed down enough that Applejack could talk, she gently squeezed the mare before speaking up. "Ah'm glad y'gave me another chance t' see if this could work, 'Shy. Ah was a lil' disappointed when things didn't really go th' way Ah wanted 'em to th' first time. But... well, Ah'm still gonna need time t' really get over Winona... bein' gone. Ah know y'prolly don't wanna hear this right now, but Ah'd rather tell y'now rather than... well, be a lil' under th' weather an' havin' y'wonder why..."
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Fluttershy eventually managed to calm herself down, nuzzling into Applejack one last time before simply relaxing in her embrace. She couldn't believe this was actually happening... Not only was Applejack willing to give this a chance, she wanted to give it a chance. It felt like it had been years since she had felt this happy... And she didn't want that feeling to end.

But unfortunately, it did. Applejack spoke up to her about how happy she was to finally give this a shot, but before Fluttershy could agree with her, she was reminded of the entire reason Applejack was here to begin with: and she immediately regretted her actions.

She hastily stopped snuggling against Applejack and reluctantly released her legs from around her, face as red as it was before. "O-oh my goodness, that was so insensitive of me! I-I just got so caught up in the moment, so I forgot a-and... Oh my, I'm so, so sorry! I don't know what I could ever do to-"

She was inturrupted as Applejack pulled her into another light hug, letting out a sigh that gave Fluttershy the idea that she should quiet down. Letting out a sigh of her own, she returned the hug and sat in mutral silence with her.

"...Do you..." She started to speak after awhile, looking up at Applejack curiously. "...Do you want to go and be with her?" She noticed Applejack hesitate for a moment, then let out a nod. "Then we can go there... I don't mind. Whatever helps you."

She rose up with a comforting smile, and trotted over to the door to wait for Applejack. As she got up to retrieve her supplies and went to the door, she gave her a comforting nuzzle as they made their way out the door. As they made their way to the grave, and rested nearby as Fluttershy gently embraced her, she found herself wondering how two of the worst occurances the two had expreienced in quite some time could have lead to what she hoped was a brighter, and more happy future.
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