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| "I Can't Be Happy" | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 11 2014, 01:40 AM (209 Views) | |
| Renton | Jul 11 2014, 01:40 AM Post #1 |
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Resident Cool Guy
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Before I even start, I just want to say that this ask broke my heart. I just want to bawl when I hear about people in these kinds of situations. I hope this asker is ok. Hun, if you are reading this, please don't hurt yourself. Please. We will all help you the best we can. We all care about you, and we all want you to be safe, love. You are not a burden, and you are perfectly fine to not register. I understand. ![]() The ask reads: " I'm not going to register, sorry, but I do need help. I just feel so lost. I'm at a point in my life where I should be happy, but I just can't do it. I can't be happy. I'm struggling with my sexual orientation, I'm struggling with mental illness and family issues, I'm isolating myself. I'm in a relationship with a loving person, and I love them, but sometimes, I want to end it all. It's the same with my friends. They're amazing, but I feel like I should just cut everyone out of my life. Maybe start anew. Maybe delete every internet alias. Maybe move somewhere else and just start over. I feel like I'm not close to anyone, and it kind of sucks. I don't know if there'd be anyone out there I could live an "ideal" life with, but maybe that's not even what I want. Part of me wants to live with friends, and always have people to have fun with, or to live with a lover, part of me wants to be a hermit for the rest of my life. I just don't know anymore. I'm finally starting to feel like I have some amount of purpose, but at the same time, I don't. When I really start to think about it, I'm doomed. I'm constantly reminded day after day of how stupid I am, how stupid my feelings are, I can't handle it. I feel like I'm just done. Like if I stick around on earth any longer, the pain will be so intense that I'll just turn into a vegetable. I'm sorry for being such a burden, you probably don't want to hear this. I needed to let this out." I'm extremely exhausted, but I will absolutely answer your ask, and signal boost it tomorrow. |
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| Mike | Jul 11 2014, 10:50 AM Post #2 |
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To the asker: Stay strong and hang in there! You can do it because you matter to US! |
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| Renton | Jul 12 2014, 03:08 PM Post #3 |
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Resident Cool Guy
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I can relate to this a lot, actually. I'm struggling with some of the feelings as well- especially the "certain impending pain". I'm bipolar. I'm manic at the moment (but I think I'm winding down, and that terrifies me), and that preeeetty much means the next thing is SEVERE depression. Possibly worse than the last time I was depressed. (And that REALLY terrifies me.) I don't know if I'll be able to take it. I'd try to carpe diem a bit right now, while I still can, but I got graced with a virus, and now an allergic reaction. So I've been pretty sick on and off for about two weeks. Not to mention something is possibly going on with my liver, stomach, or kidneys... (Possibly all three. You never know.) I can relate a lot to the mental illness bit as you can see, and as far as family issues- I want to fucking move out NOW (even though I'm so so sososo not ready. Which is pathetic. I feel pretty utterly pathetic for being the world's oldest 14 year old, in terms of independence. [Well not the OLDEST, but still. I don't even have my learner's permit yet.]) because I feel like a burden to my family AND they're driving me insane. I'm pretty sick of living with them, to be honest. I'm running this forum, and it's actually starting to take off a bit (I literally never expected that. Literally.) And I made something I can be PROUD of, and maybe you need to do that as well. Take a step back from all these things that make you feel unworthy and stupid, and make yourself proud of yourself. Do something you're good at. If you feel like you're not good at anything (like I constantly do), do something you feel you're not good at, but that you WANT to do. Applaud your effort. Make a huge fucking note saying "I tried this today." You don't have to be good, you don't even have to be adequate, that can come after practice if you think you want to pursue whatever it is. Just try. Stay safe love, I hope you start feeling better, and start being able to discover who you are, what you really want out of life. You'll get through this. I have faith in you. |
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| Renton | Oct 16 2014, 01:01 AM Post #4 |
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Resident Cool Guy
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Archiving this topic due to inactivity.
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11:58 AM Jul 11