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Deadbeat dads
Topic Started: Jun 21 2006, 07:32 PM (842 Views)
KillerK
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kyyankgrrl,Jun 22 2006
04:41 PM
You're right, I have no stats or numbers to back that up. Why, I'm totally wrong....men NEVER cheat, only women do.

I have never met a man in my entire life who did not use any and every excuse he could to check out other women....no matter how "happy" he claimed to be in his marriage/relationship.

Really what have you seen like one guy in your life?
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kyyankgrrl
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What, you mean how many have I met who actually made an effort to be faithful to their relationships? Can't say I've ever met one.

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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli (19th century author)

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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KillerK
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I dont get how you can sit there and say all that [expletive deleted] and act like you women never do the same thing. You dont think you guys ever look at a hot guy like we do aat women? Do you guys think you are just so underappracited in society you can do the exact same stuff as us and call us all this [expletive deleted] when you do the same stuff? because the only solution i can see if your the biggest sexiest ive ever heard off or you honestly believe everything you hear from women.
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kyyankgrrl
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I never said that women don't look at men, or that women don't do a lot of the same things men do. But Element started this thread with the usual "oh poor men, everything's so unfair to men" garbage.

Do I think women are unappreciated in society? Absolutely. But more than that, men take women for granted....because there are a lot of women out there who will put up with men's BS just because they are so desperate to have a man. And I totally don't understand that kind of thinking.

A lot of my conservative friends always ask why women voters didn't turn on Bill Clinton after his private activities became public. You know what I tell them? Women didn't turn on Clinton because that's the kind of behavior women EXPECT in a relationship. You men win.....you've trained millions of women to expect to be dogged in relationships.

But not this one....*boxer*
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli (19th century author)

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Element
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kyyankgrrl,Jun 22 2006
05:03 PM
I never said that women don't look at men, or that women don't do a lot of the same things men do. But Element started this thread with the usual "oh poor men, everything's so unfair to men" garbage.

Unfair is the key word. Everything in the court system is designed to be anti-men. (See washington court system)

So many men have gotten screwed, it isn't even funny.
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kyyankgrrl
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Element,Jun 22 2006
08:21 PM
Unfair is the key word. Everything in the court system is designed to be anti-men. (See washington court system)

A system created by men....designed by men to free men from the responsibility of being hands-on parents....is now "unfair" to men. Amusing.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli (19th century author)

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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KillerK
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When men get unfairly accused of abuse, etc... for just one piece of edvince which was the lady testifying. For who all we know is just mad at the man. So she sends him to jail.
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kyyankgrrl
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What about the women who are abused....but because they don't walk into the courtroom bleeding and bruised, it becomes their word against the man's.....and he walks.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli (19th century author)

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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kyyankgrrl
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Anyway, we've beat all the life out of this, and none of us is going to agree with the other. Well, you guys agree with each other.

It's pretty simple....you guys believe the root of men's problems is that women are still on the planet. I think that, because they have ALWAYS had all the political and judicial power, men have no one to blame but themselves for any "unfairness" in the system. How can people - women - who have had the right to vote for less than 100 years, have completely made the system "unfair" to men? Women, who have NEVER had the majority in ANY state legislature or Congress, or a majority of ANY level of judgeships. And yet women have taken away men's rights? Yeah, right.

For the record - I don't hate men. I'm not a man-basher. But I also don't put men on a pedestal or idealize them. When I go into a relationship, I know exactly how much pain and BS I'm signing up for....and after I've had my fill, I bounce.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli (19th century author)

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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GonetoSleep21
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*edited*
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spittin_cubscenities
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Okay, my take on this, I am going through a divorce right now, 2 kids. Not every case is the same but, My wife and were married for 2 and a half years, have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, I am in the Navy and am stationed in italy, she took the kids to florida and is going to file for divorce. I love my kids, I am 24, don't play video games any more, don't work on my car, don't go golfing anymore, I did nothing but go home and be with my family, i took bathes with my son probably 500 nights out of his first 2 years of life, we were always out side, reading, wresteling, everything, she still would never say i am not a great father. My wife dropped out of Dental Tech classes, would not go to college, because she didn't like math, and we made enough for her to stay home here, so at the time i didn't want her to work. this is why child support is unfair, because every case is different, and it is a percentage, if i can get out and make $100 K, compared to my $50- 60 K now, she gets more, why is that, i want our kids but florida is pro- mommy, so if i go out and get raises, so does my wife. I give her more than she can earn, i pay a $450 car payment for her and my kids to use, her $200 insurance, and give her $700 a month support. It's going to be tons of fun the first time i walk into her apartment and see all the furniture and things i worked for be the only things she has. So as i go out and work my ass off, get to the top, her standard of living increases too, with out ever getting off her ass, or just having nice stuff, that she would have never been able to earn, and that is wrong. Not all dad's would pawn their kids off on some one else on the weekend, I didn't even argue over the stuff she wants that i earned, just the amount of cusody i have, and i am italy, so even though i am a great dad, and a capable dad, i am not in the postion to be one. and she can go home live with her parents again, and still be taken care of, because i worked hard enough to be able to do that. Yes dad's spent money differrently, after all we are the one's usually working for it, no one's wives complain about what the money gets spent on when people walk in and gush over thier bueatiful home, or their driving a nicer car than they could have ever earned on thier own, either. A wife can complain about how they had to put carreers on hold, how you get to go to work and be around adults, yet will drop courses and not settle on any job.

Domestic violence, a woman can freely swing at her husband half of a marriage, and when you hit them back even in self defense, in thier minds you always did so, i am not talking about bleeding and bruising, there never was, but yes, a wife should have a cover your ass book, or a interent page where she should record evidence, because there should be a burden of proof, not her to be able to say what ever she wants to say to get what ever outcome she wishes from anyone that will believe her.
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Element
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Thanks for sharing, spittin_cubscenities.

Unfortunately, this is too often the case.
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kyyankgrrl
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Poor poor men.....being abused by the very system they created.....excuse me while I try to work up some tears....
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli (19th century author)

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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BaseballKnowledge
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kyyankgrrl,Jun 25 2006
04:37 AM
Poor poor men.....being abused by the very system they created.....excuse me while I try to work up some tears....

So it's alright for a woman to hit a man, but if a man might need to hit a woman back, that's not okay? Double Standards maybe?
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spittin_cubscenities
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[insult edited out] kyyankgirl, you act as if "I" made this system, and "I " should have made it more towards my STBXW, or "I" shouldn't complain when "I" made the rules, I wonder why 2/3 of all divorces are filed by woman, why you see statistics, that 80% of men pay the support they are supposed to yet only 20% of woman do. Excuse me while I won't work up tears for all the woman who not only have to get child support, but need other help from the state, and live in low income housing, because that is all they are capable of, capable of food stamps and welfare. Empathy is a horrible thing isn't it, can't feel for the situation, just feel that way towards a system, and not feel bad for those that do get "screwed" by it, that's a bit cultish, extremist, I hope these things never happen to you, i hope you never are put in a situation where this effects you, because it is the worst thing you could possibly imagine going through, probably both sides of it, i hate my STBXW, but still have empathy in her daily struggles to raise our kids alone, I hope you are never put in the situation to have to deal with either side of it. You sound like the type of woman, from what you say, to use the kids as leverage, to hold out for the bigger t.v., the nicer car, not let the father see his kids because he comes to pick them up a half an hour late, even though he is still the only one working. I have empathy for the guy that may someday may have to go through this with you. I will have no empathy for you if you ever go through this, because you'd likely deserve all the troubles, you would cause for both parties. Your type of thinking is what makes SO many dad's choose not to be a part of thier kids life, cause ya'll make it so hard, want so much and give so little, then when the kids were old enough you'd likely tell them thier dad didn't care about them, he walked out on us. which isn't always the case, yet it is the easy answer, instead of saying well, I gave your dad a hard time every time he tried to see you, I wouldn't let him take ya'll because he couldn't get out of work early to come get you, and Daddy does love you, Mommy just made it impossible on him to be a part of your life, but he called every other day and cried every time he saw you on the webcam, from the time you were 2 until you were five, your daddy loves you, I was just a bitch.
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kyyankgrrl,Jun 25 2006
05:37 AM
Poor poor men.....being abused by the very system they created.....excuse me while I try to work up some tears....

I'm sorry ky, thats just wrong. Do you think men like the system? Do men really think that the system is right? No. Because if that was true, you wouldn't have people like spittin_cubscenities who sounds like a great father, having their heart torn out because of it. Men should not be called deadbeat dads, it's a sick and disgusting phrase.
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spittin_cubscenities
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Some dads are "deabeat", some dads are pieces of [expletive deleted] while they are married and supposed to be active fathers, the dads that still stay on the xbox after work and let thier wives chase the kids around while they sit in the garage and drink beer with thier buddies, or are at the golf course all day. I am only 24, and we have a lot of friends that age that are [expletive deleted] dads, I have seen it a lot, guys that put too little into thier kids, even when they are still married, it's a shame, but it's not always the case and to group every one together, too use stereo types is the same thinking that has plagued this world since time began, the jews, the kurds, the Roman empire, slavery, woman's rights, republicans lol, catholism, racism the list goes on and on. and looking back it was ALL wrong, yet, no one does enough to change anything.

The funny thing about kids, is they will change everything about you the second they come into this world, if you let them. there is nothing more imortant to me then my 2 boys that are 3000 miles away right now, nothing you have ever expirienced, could ever cause you to feel the same, no gift, no woman, no amount of money, nothing.
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spittin_cubscenities
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This is why the whole system is wrong, these images, that keep me up at night, I do shed tears, evry time i walk by thier room, everytime i try to go to sleep, every time I see them on the webcam, you TRY living with out this, then group me into a catagory, because you feel a certain way on the subject, which is this important, this incredibly hard, this dramatic.


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hankaaron44
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Let me get this straight. While you are on duty, you make 50-60K and when you officially get your divorce, you will have to pay her 700 bucks a month, so that she can buy herself rich stuff without ever having to do anything, while gaining possesion of all the stuff you worked your ass off for. Plus she won't let you see the kids that you fathered and the only way you get to see them is via a webcam/ photographs but never directly.
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spittin_cubscenities
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Yes, I am on active duty, stationed in Italy for the next 2 years, it is much more than just the $700 cash/ month, she is also using my new car at home, and i am paying the payments, $454/ month, and I AM paying her insurance on my car, so I know it has full coverage, which is $200/ month total? $1350/ month in support, and i still will try to send what i can, i love buying my kids stuff. Yes, she gets half of our household items, new couches, dining room table, matching hutch, 32" tv, all our bedroom, all the boys things, persian rugs (to decorate her apartment) all the kitchen stuff. I was left with the more expensive stuff though, so it is about equal, as equal as splitting up the things only I worked for can be i guess, I got to keep our brand new computer ($1500) our brand new 61" tv ($3000) and my dvd collection (500).

I do want her to have these things, i don't want her to start with nothing, I want my kids to have a furnished apartment, and it is all brand new and nice, so I won't complain.

For the next 2 years, that is my life, webcams and photos, because of the circumstance, she'd let me see them if i were home, but that just isn't the case. I can go home on leave about once a year, but that is not cheap going from Italy to Floriada.

p.s, you really can't buy "rich stuff" with 700 a month, not if it is your only 700 that month with 2 kids. but oncce she gets a job, yes, it would be nice having an extra 700 a month.

Sound "FAIR" ?
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