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Best ways to kill Neelix
Topic Started: Feb 3 2006, 12:49 PM (1,241 Views)
TiberiusK
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Intergalatic Monkey Man
Top 10 Best And Worst Ways To Kill Neelix

1. After slugging down six Shirley Temple's in the Messhall, Neelix stumbles to the holodeck, which he commands to "take me to hell." His broken body is later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of vomit.

2. Neelix gets gang-banged by a group of female Kazons.

3. Chakotay gets carried away executing an order from Janeway to "knock the annoying snot around a bit."

4. Tuvok catches him jacking off. Uncomprehending, he requires a detailed explanation from Neelix, who dies of embarrassment.

5. Extensive lab analysis of a green slime found on one of the control panels uncovers the fact that our favorite cook has, once again, been picking his nose. He is summarily fired and commits suicide.

6. Neelix gets gang-banged by a group of male Kazons.

7. On an earlier episode, Neelix almost killes himself, now he finishes what he started.

8. In a rare episode , Tuvok attempts a Vulcan mind-meld with Neelix. ...Neelix's head explodes. Tuvok barely survives, spending the next several days scratching himself and whining.

9. Harry notices a Romulan ship on the scanners, and sends Neelix down to clean out the photon tubes....Later, someone makes a comment about the needs of the many having outweighed the needs of the few.

10. Neelix gets involved in a deviant sexual practice known as "tribble stuffing," not realizing that tribbles multiply anywhere. Even an emergency laser enema by The Doctor fails to save him.
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Wolfden
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poor Neelix
 
captainvictoria
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Lieutenant
that was funny, may I add:
11. Neelix tastes what he has cooked, finding it revolting, commits suicide
12. Kes returns, and angry at his presence, kills him
13. He goes on an away mission with a few of the senior officers on a barren planet where they are stranded, after the replicator stops working, they kill him for food an hour before rescue.
14. Neelix loses his memory and after having recurring dreams of starfleet officers being grossed out by his food, commits suicide
15. Neelix is put on trial for not following any health and safety guidelines, his transgression is so severe, that he is sentenced with life imprisonment. To save resources and to save him leaking any information about starfleet to the kazon, is executed.
ENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SIZE=14]
 
Wolfden
Unregistered

/\ pure evil he's not that bad
 
DamarLives
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God of Thunder
Or you could just stick his oversized head in a microwave and cook it until it explodes.
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captainvictoria
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Lieutenant
I like Neelix... but I do enjoy the Voyager Coronary... It disses Janeway (best character IMO), but I love it all the same.
ENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SIZE=14]
 
Wolfden
Unregistered

captainvictoria
Feb 20 2006, 08:37 AM
I like Neelix... but I do enjoy the Voyager Coronary... It disses Janeway (best character IMO), but I love it all the same.

Agreed Neelix rocks do not know why folks hate him so much?

Tuvok and Neelix together just cracks me up.
 
captainvictoria
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Lieutenant
Making fun of a character stops us makig fun of ourselves and generally we take ourselves seriously.
ENGAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SIZE=14]
 
Captain_Windu
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^^^^ Our Next Vice President
Why do so many people despise Neelix?
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TiberiusK
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Intergalatic Monkey Man
Captain_Windu
Mar 14 2006, 01:48 PM
Why do so many people despise Neelix?

b/c he's like the jar jar binks of star trek.
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