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Gren Geraven
Topic Started: Sep 25 2012, 01:17 AM (448 Views)
Gren

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Basics
Trainer's Full Name: Gren Geraven
Nickname: None

Age: 13
Gender: Male
Place of Birth/Homeland: Ashmere Village, Prydein


Physical Description

Eyes: Hazel, green with brown flecks on the outsides of the iris.
Hair Color & Hair Style: Black hair, small spikes on top with a ponytail that goes to his shoulder blades.
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 92 lbs.

Physical Appearance: That of a common teen, with an uncommon geneology. He is very pale with an odd eye color that makes him stand out. His hair is spiky up top, and he keeps it in a ponytail that reaches his shoulder-blades at all times with a silver band keeping it given to him by his mother.

Commonly Worn Clothing: A black trenchcoat that he was given by his father, a shiny silver shirt that he grew to like, black cargo pants held up by a black belt with silver diamonds placed around the belt, and black hi-top shoes.

Persona

Personality: Excited around Pokemon, and loves meeting new people. Just an overall bubbly person.

Likes: Pizza, his Pokemon.

Dislikes: Those who mistreats others and Pokemon. Has a kind of hero complex whenever he see's mistreatment.

History

Pre-Adventure!: Gren grew up in Ashmere Village, his father being a Tauros farmer. His life revolved around Tauros farming and the stories his father used to tell of being a trainer. Before his father settled down in Ashmere, he would travel the world as a Trainer. His travels included the Pokemon League challenge, and Gren was so excited when he began his tests to become a Trainer.

His exams are done and his teeth are brushed. When morning comes, his journey begins. Where will he go? What will his Pokemon be? Only time will tell.

Pokemon!

Party Number: (While this doesn't matter much for RP, there will be cases where a trainer instinctively grabs a Pokemon on a certain spot on it's belt, normally the first, and this signifies it)
Species:
Name/Nickname:
Gender:
Type:
Distinctive Physical Appearance (This can be natural markings/abnormalities, or even just accessories that you've given your pokemon)

Personality:

Ability:
Known Moves:


Party Number: (While this doesn't matter much for RP, there will be cases where a trainer instinctively grabs a Pokemon on a certain spot on it's belt, normally the first, and this signifies it)
Species:
Name/Nickname:
Gender:
Type:
Distinctive Physical Appearance (This can be natural markings/abnormalities, or even just accessories that you've given your pokemon)

Personality:

Ability:
Known Moves:

Party Number: (While this doesn't matter much for RP, there will be cases where a trainer instinctively grabs a Pokemon on a certain spot on it's belt, normally the first, and this signifies it)
Species:
Name/Nickname:
Gender:
Type:
Distinctive Physical Appearance (This can be natural markings/abnormalities, or even just accessories that you've given your pokemon)

Personality:

Ability:
Known Moves:

----------------------------------------------------------------

Edit: Is that better?
Edited by Gren, Sep 30 2012, 07:52 PM.
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Elf
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Quick detail-oriented fix: you say his trench was given to him by his father, but if he was abandoned as a baby He a) never knew his father and so b) wouldn't know that the coat came from him.

Also, Prydein is only allowing original characters...including those in your backstory. Remove the canon character and all references to him. Make it original.

Make those fixes and you should be good.
Edited by Elf, Sep 25 2012, 03:47 PM.
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Gren

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Fixed the profile. Stated what changed in the same post.
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Lazarus
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... ... ...

As the laziest administrator to walk the face of this god-forsaken earth, I'll put my stamp of approval on this creation. Somebody else will move it eventually. If you question as to why I don't plan on moving it, see word three, sentence one of this post. It'll sink in. Have a good day.
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Elf
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Approved

...Thank you for your laziness, Lazarus. I shall move the thread. -.-'
Kori's PC
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Mica


Personally, I really don't think that just changing the name of a canon character and calling it a different person is a fix... And frankly, I'm not too fond of the 'baby in a basket' trope of a cop-out on a decent backstory.

But, seeing as my fellow Moderator has approved this... I'm gonna let it pass without a big fuss... This time. Go play and enjoy yourself.
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Warr
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WARR-tortle

Remove the "Elite four challenge" bit to, changing it to "Pokemon League Challenge", please. I find your profile so far to be melodramatic and still find myself wanting to know about the non-angst or dour side of Gren, if one exists- but with that fixed I will -tentatively- accept this profile, though keep in mind you're likely never going to be transferring Seranin IC, either because of regulations in the IC world, prohibitive cost, or a mixture of the lot of those things, especially given that she's a Croconaw now and the chances of us ever doing an event for a Croconaw are very very low.

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Gren

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Oh, I had no plans of bringing Seranin over, but during the RP different sides of his emotions will show. And I'll be doing flashbacks to some of his previous battles and experiences in Johto to show a little of his past in regards to something happening in the present.

Edit: Also edited. ^_^
Edited by Gren, Sep 30 2012, 05:57 PM.
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Warr
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WARR-tortle

Well, there's no reason to give us a 3 paragraph 15 years story to then give us 'flashbacks' without having the character's personality fleshed out in the profile from the get go, and having the flash backs highlight a particular part of the personality IC, despite us knowing it OOCly.
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Gren

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The reason why is because I have to work out how I'm gonna play the character as I play. I hope not to be too much more of a pain, really. I just figured I could give my character an interesting background, and use flashbacks to show why he is the way he is when I figure it matters.
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Warr
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WARR-tortle

Well interesting and heavy on the cliches of the series are different entirely. A 'normal person' would be far more interesting to me as a reader, or a writer, than a big damn hero is, especially with some scarring life events.

His personality needs more details, including his fears, his wants, his general mood, and any quirks about him that do not fit in his likes or dislikes, for one thing.
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Gren

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Very well. I'll probably have that figured out and posted up sometime tomorrow.
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Mica


So, you're basically saying that you want to start your character off as a one-dimensional angry jerk, because you can't figure out a personality for him yet?

Also, personally, I think that the 'kidnapped by Team Rocket' is a bit... lame. It's a weak cop-out event that makes it seem like he's interesting and special. Same thing goes with the 'dreams' he gets.

Another thing, I don't think you understand what it means to be cold-hearted. There's a difference between being slow to warm-up and standoffish, and being cold-hearted. If he was cold-hearted, he wouldn't 'warm up to people through battle' he'd not care about other people.

Your backstory is an empty cop-out. Your character seems bland and cliche...
I'd rather see a character with a normal backstory that seemed like a real person, than a sheet like this with a strife-filled background and no depth, making him seem like a brooding piece of cardboard.
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Elf
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Okay. So from what I've seen, this is the issue.

We want you to be original, prove to us that you want to be here, and stop hitting every cliche in the book. Writers are taught to stay away from Cliche for a reason. Nobody wants to read them. I had my reservations when I accepted your profile the first time, because you managed to hit on them.

Personally, I think that if that's what you want to do and you can't find the originality or the brain power to come up with something, then that's just fine. If you want to play a character that is so restricted by an unoriginal, cliche, shoddy back story you can't even interact normally with the NPCs we send to you to build your story...that's your business.

What I think my fellow mod and my admin have both been trying to tell you is this:

Your character has no room to grow. He's been there. He's done it all. Nothing we can do with your character as GMs will be original for him. No plot-line we build for you and your character will be interesting. Because it's all happened in his back story. Not only that, but any attempt at IC interaction that we set up for you whether with pokemon or trainer or gym leader or anything else in between will be met with a character who's angry enough to sit on a pike.

You don't GM yourself. We GM you. The plotlines we come up with for you, we try to make interesting. We try to push your character so that he can grow into himself as a pokemon trainer. We try to push you as a writer so that you can grow and mature. We can't do that if we have to fight you every single time we write out a post.

We're trying to make things easier for you and for us. This isn't us attacking you as a person. It is us having genuine concerns about your character and your - and our - ability to make this an interesting site for you to participate in. What you get out of Forum RPing is what you put into it. I don't know if you've ever participated in this type of RP before, but that's the cardinal rule. You get back out what you put in. We want you to prove to us that we won't be wasting our time trying to come up with something fun and interesting for you.
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Gren

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Fine. I figured you would want a backstory, but I guess I can be a newbie. I'll go ahead and scrap my entire profile and get something else up.

Edit: I edited my profile. Is this fine?
Edited by Gren, Sep 30 2012, 07:53 PM.
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