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Tables ate my ___ because they have ____.
cat; monocles 1 (16.7%)
dragon; yardsticks 1 (16.7%)
box; Lucia 2 (33.3%)
dog; four legs 1 (16.7%)
eye; 15000 Walters 1 (16.7%)
Total Votes: 6
Fresh Box of Aquinas; isaiah-chans past
Topic Started: Jun 23 2011, 02:18 PM (152 Views)
Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
One day in a South California school, three girls shoved poor Isaiah into the path of a moving beer truck and started beating him with wine coolers.
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[ *  * ]
Isaiah frowned as the glass from the wine coolers flew everywhere.
"Why are you three beating me up?" he asked the girls, forgetting about the beer truck currently hurtling towards them.
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Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
The girls glared at him, not answering his question and continued to beat him up. But as this was happening, Isaiah's mother was riding her bike, hurrying towards her son and biking over a few toucans along the way. She ran into one of the girls and held out her hand to her son. "Isaiah! Honey! Come with me...IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"
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Isaiah's eyes widened in glee and went all kitty face. "Mother! :3" He took hold of her hand and looked around. "...Where are we going? :3"
Little did any of them know, that the now-crushed toucans had started to move, slowly inching towards each other and forming into a mega-toucan.
It rose up, somehow towering over all of them and letting out a deafening screech of "SQUAWWWWKDWLEFRHJKGHRGRHRL!!" With that cry, it summoned a three-headed flamingo, with which it used to batter some power lines and houses.
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Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
"Baby! There's something I need to tell you! Lets go home!!!!" she pulled Isaiah into her arms and settled him on the bike as they took off, trying to get away from the Trimingo and the Mega-Toucan.

Meanwhile, at Arline's place, Arline was partying in her princess dress and smoking, despite her being 15 and smoking being disgusting.
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"What? Um... Okay, I guess. :3" He sat on the bike, and only after a few moments noticed the Mega-Toucan. "ADFASGFDGHGJDKGHJBKlKJHJKL!! @____@ THERE'S A HUGE TOUCAAAN!!"

The camera slowly zoomed in on the Mega-Toucan's head, revealing a cat-like figure sitting upon it, an unblinking cat, eerie smile on it's face. It turned it's head to survey the area. Yes... Soon, it shall happen. Or not. I don't really care... Let's wait a few weeks. it thought.

A little kid ran up to her open window, and grinned. "Hey, ugly lady!" he yelled, bringing his arm back. "Dodge oranges!!" Swift as lightning, he brought his arm forward, releasing the round orange fruits into the air, on a trajectory to hit Arline in the head/shoulder area.
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Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
Isaiah's mommy began pedaling as fast as she could, trying to get away from the Mega Toucan and it's life partner. "!!!!! KJHHF I SHOULD'VE BEEN MORE CAREFUL!!! AUGGGH! ISAIAH! IF WE DIE HERE, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I AM NOT YOUR BIOLOGICAL MOTHER!"

Arline did backflips in her princess dress and began to do some spin kicks to launch the oranges back to the kid. "HYAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Meanwhile, a tiny little puppy was chillin' under Arline's sofa, rolling around. Uuuu...I wonder what Mommy is doing. Uuuuu...!!!
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As his mother said that last sentence, time seemed to slow down around them. Isaiah couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Y-you aren't...?" His eyes were starting to water. "Wh-wh-what do you mean?!"

"AUUUGH!!" The kid shrieked in a high-pitched kid shriek. "What the hell are you doing ugly lady?!?! Eeek!" He was promptly pelted by an orange to the face, and fell down, scrambling to try to get away.

Lucia stared down as the Mega-Toucan rampaged around. "SHMGDYEUGFUGVEUGRGQUAWWWWL!" it roared, crushing a building beneath it's feet. Lucia happened to notice that one of the girls from earlier was still lying on the ground. She leaped off the toucan, landed with a crack on the pavement, and padded over to the girl.
"Hello. Would you like to become a magical girl? You can live if you make a contract. /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\"
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Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
"I could never have any c-children...so...I adopted you from a maid living around this area!!!" her eyes began to water as well. "I couldn't bear my baby boy not knowing the truth anymore!!!"

Lyrico then pounced out, biting the little kid on the leg. "AAAAAAH! DOG?!?!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!!!!?!" Arline yelled. Lyrico then proceeded to bite the kid in the face.

"........" the girl stared at Lucia. "My...only regret...is not going to the dance...with Sammy McWarlock..." she then died a tragic animu death. And then got biked over by some drunk dude on a tricycle.
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Isaiah stared at his mother, unsure of what to say. Moments passed and the Mega-Toucan was still destroying stuff. "Well, it doesn't really matter, does it? Truth can be easily warped and misshapen. For all it matters, you are my only mother."
(THIS BE GETTIN' TOO SRS.)

Then the kid got his face ripped off. And writhed on the ground for a few moments, before dying.

Lucia stared down at the now dead girl. "Well... I guess that didn't work out. No matter." She bites an arm and rips it off the girl, nomming on it as she pads down the street.
(HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA RANDOM TENSE CHANGE. :||)
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Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
And then, his mother's face slowly transformed into Walter's. "AHAHAHA!!!!! YOU'RE RIGHT, MY BOY!" his face then became a huge trollface and he headbutted Isaiah off of the bike. "AHAHAHAHHH!!!" he screeched.

His mother found his writhing body and then started to bawl over it. Lyrico then teleported to wherever Lucia was. "Hi Mommy!" he looked at the arm. "What's thaaaat? Is it yummy?!?!"


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(O_O THANKS FOR GIVING ME NIGHTMARE FUEL MAN. xDD)
Isaiah's face was horrified as he watched his dear mother's face twist into some horrible ugly thing. He fell to the ground and instantly realizing what was happening, frowned up at Walter. " You're an idiot, Father. As usual. Now, you have clearly revealed that this is a different space. It was quite a good fabrication though. You almost had me fooled."
He looked over towards the Mega-Toucan, whipping a pen out. The camera zoomed in close on his face.
"LUCIA! AFFDGHFGSDFJFKHDSFJHKEHKFEFHEJKFGJEF! O>O" he yelled.

Lucia stopped and looked over her shoulder, before placing the chewed-up arm in front of Lyrico. "You can have it. I am being called." she said.

Somewhere, in some other timeline, in some other country, a cat-boy was making some hot chocolate.
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Coyote
really col
[ *  * ]
Walter got off the bike and smirked. "What's wrong? I just wanted to test you." he got out one of his guns. "Since you're still pretty weak, I'll help you out! ZMNVBM<BV<ZMB<XBVXJNKZJF!!" the keysmash the came out of his mouth seemed to load his magical gun. "*u* I call first attack! 'HERP DERP SHOT'!!!!" he shot at the Mega-Toucan and missed. But since it was a magic rubber bullet going 395723527359 miles an hour, it went through the Mega-Toucan's eye.

"Are you sure you don't want any help, Mommy?" he began chewing up the arm with his already blood-stained muzzle. "I can bite them in the face, if you want. owo"

And his boyfriend covered the cat boy's eyes, smirking. "Guesssss whoooo?"
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