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A Real American Hero
I'm not talking about G.I. Joe here, this is an article by Chuck Yeager:

"Shifty" By Chuck Yeager


Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.


I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle," the symbol of the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 ..." at which point my heart skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said "I made the 5 training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy .. . . do you know where Normandy is?" At this point my heart stopped.

I told him "yes, I know exactly where Normandy is, and I know what D-Day was." At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland , into Arnhem ." I was standing with a genuine war hero...and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France , and he said "Yes... And it 's real sad because, these days, so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip." My heart was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in coach while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I'd take his in coach.

He said "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and who still care is enough to make an old man very happy." His eyes were filling up as he said it.

And mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on Jan. l7, 2012 after fighting cancer.

There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center..

No wall-to-wall, back-to-back 24x7 news coverage.

No weeping fans on television.

And that's not right!


Let's give Shifty his own memorial service, on line, in our own quiet way.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

Chuck Yeager, Maj. General [ret.]


P.S. I think that it is amazing how the "media" chooses our "heroes" these days...

Elvis, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston & the like.

Diary of a Mad Furry
As much as I loved the Season 3 Finale of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, I am disappointed to hear about that spin-off. Mainly because it's got almost nothing to do with MLP: FIM, they're just attaching to that series just so the show will get more attention, ugh.

They want a spin off from MLP: FIM? I'LL give the one:

"My name is Der-py-Hooves!
And I am proud to be,
starring completely in my own spin-off ser-ies
There's old friends, and new friends, all over here and there!

Through good times, and bad times, it's magic that we share!

So now I've found a place,
where everyone will know,
my happy wall-eyed face!

This is the Derpy Show!"

*giggles*

Fox mccloud plush
EEEEEEE! That's soooo cute! ^^

Happy 20th Birthday, Star Fox!
That's what I meant to say, the series should continue where Assault left off, but I wish I could write the next Star Fox game plot.

Happy 20th Birthday, Star Fox!
Although the comics existed in 1992, they were, for the most part, obscure. BUT in 1993, the Star Fox video game for the SNES was released, and a series took America and parts of Europe...well, not necessarily "by storm", but in the Nintendo world, it rose to fame, alongside Metroid, Mario, and Link.

[utube]www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL09kITpdyk[/utube]

How could we forget that? Can you believe it? 20 years later...my God. I remember playing it, and the few people I knew who enjoyed it like I did. The series needs a reboot, more attention. It has been under-appreciated too long, and it at least deserves a lampoon on Robot Chicken for God's sake!

I love the Star Fox franchise, and I hope it doesn't fade. It's due for a new game, at the very least.



SFC's gallery :3
HI! Good to see you again, and great job on the drawing!

Mayor may not run for office...
Chapter 3

I set up my Campaign HQ in a small office I was able to afford to rent, it cost me $400 Credits per month, and it was on a three month lease. I had buttons, posters, and flyers printed out, along with lawn signs to distribute. "JULIUS FOR MAYOR"....

I set up a tripod and a camera, and sat at my desk (a pair of saw-horses and a door, covered with a blue sheet)...my "chair" was just an overturned bucket. I sat up straight, and smiled into the camera. I gave my speech, then used the computer software to edit the pictures, and graphics.

Here's how the video came out...

*Focusing on Julius Quasar behind a desk*

"Hello, citizens of Corneria! Julius Quasar, here! Now, don't be taken in by anything said about me by my opponents. I am here to clear the record...

*screen goes dark*
"Todd McCloud abuses alcohol!"
*records of Todd's DUI arrests appear on screen*
"He is a sexual deviant!"
*Todd appears in a BDSM session photo*
"Todd hasn't voted, and doesn't learn about the issues in the news! He has recklessly damaged property belonging to others, and never paid for it!"
*a picture of Todd creeping away from a vehicle and its baseball damaged windshield, while a baseball and baseball bat in his hands is now shown*

"As for Fara Phoenix, she is supported by a trust fund, has limited experience 'working for a living', and is oblivious to the lives of ordinary everyday citizens."
*A photo of Fara in a swimsuit and lying in a lounge chair by the pool is seen*

"Is that who want for Mayor?"

*video goes back to Julius in his office*
"I, Julius Quasar, know that the street lights on 12th street keep flickering out! I'm aware of the bright lighting from the civic center keeping the nearby residents awake at night, despite having the curtains closed on their windows! I know we are sick and tired of city resources being misused and wasted. As Mayor, I'll put a stop to this and more! Please, think carefully as you cast your vote!"

I uploaded the video, and I paid for the advertisement for the TV broadcast as well. I had to cover all angles. I watched the ads on the computer...nothing new against me so far. I got up, and began to collect my materials, and head into the suburbs and get my name out there.

It was a real pain, but I managed to walk all over the neighborhoods, and despite the setbacks, I managed to convince everyone that I could to back me in the campaign. I ran out of the lawn signs, fliers, and buttons. I wished Misty had seen me in action. I couldn't find her when I woke up that morning...

I headed home, and turned on the TV.

Todd appeared in another political ad. He slammed Fox, Akasha, Falco, Fay, Babs, and most of all...

"Julius is the worst out of all of them! He only now just found out about 'the street lights on 12th street keep flickering out!' and 'the bright lighting from the civic center keeping the nearby residents awake at night, despite having the curtains closed on their windows'! Dd he say WHAT he planned to do about that? With Julius, it's all 'touch and go'. He's unreliable, and a gas-bag!" Todd said. The curtains behind Todd parted, and Madame Vulpine, Misty, and Lola, along with a bunch of other anthropomorphic showgirls in feathered and sequin leotard outfits sang, danced, and performed. The curtains closed, as Todd stepped onto the stage apron in front of them, and he applauded, laughing. "Weren't they great folks? A special thanks to Madame Vulpine and her performing company!" he said. "VOTE FOR TODD" appeared and the ad ended.

The phone rang.

"What!?" I said.

"Give it up, loser! I got you!" Todd taunted. "We'll see!" I said. "Your own girlfriend left you on the rocks! Ha!" Todd taunted. "Todd, don't!!" Misty's voice wafted over the background. I slammed the phone down in anger.

"This just in...it appears that Star Wolf, or rather their leader, Wolf O' Donnell, is running for Mayor as well, and...(really!?)...this election is really heating up, with the polls being calculated and undetermined at this time..." the vixen reporter looked shocked at learning about Wolf running for Mayor. Uh-oh!

I was still in shock about Misty. How could she do this to me!?

*that's it for this chapter*

Villains you love to hate
List your favorite villains you love to hate and why. I'll start.

Here are my Top 10 (your list needn't be "Top 10", I just did this as an example)...

1. Pigma Dengar of "Star Fox", he's gross, obnoxious, yet hilarious at the same time.

2. Starscream of "Transformers", he is selfish, power hungry, yet he cowers in fear, and I love the Steven Blum voice of him, it's delightfully sinister. Plus in the old cartoons, he tells Megatron "This is all YOUR FAULT, Megatron!" and Megatron doesn't punish him for it. He pretends to be loyal, but only when it's convenient for him.

3. Barry Kripke of "Big Bang Theory", that hilarious speech impediment makes him sound "Vewwwy-vewwwy much like Elmew Fudd!", he's also creepy and weird looking.

4. Sayoko Mishima of "Ah! My Goddess!", she's made of bitch, yet she always gets her comeuppance whenever she tries to go against Belldandy.

5. Randy the puppet of "Pee-Wee's Playhouse", an immature thug with a "Joisey" accent, his pranks are funny, he tried to hijack the show one time, gets in the way, is brutally honest, and when he tries to help, he does more harm than good (especially when he tried to help cure Pee-Wee's toothache by tying the tooth to the playhouse door and slamming the door, ha ha!).

6. Farcus Bulkmeyer and Ugene Skulovich (aka "Bulk and Skull") from "Power Rangers": These two idiots always try to sabotage the Power Ranger's alter egos, yet they end up hurting themselves more, and they screw up constantly, in a hilarious way, plus they practically live in Detention.

7. Phyllis "Pizzazz" Gabor of "JEM". She bosses her friends/band-mates around, she loses her temper and lets out that "OOOOOHHHH!" growl, she's pissed off at the world, and her temper tantrums and shrieking "DADDY!" to get her father's attention are hilarious!

8. Dennis Nedry of "Jurassic Park", he's a funny stereotype of computer hackers, a bumbling doofus, obnoxious, and he a taste of poetic justice...and who can resist that chuckle?

9. Destro of "G.I. Joe", he has a hot girlfriend "The Baroness" who loves him to a fault, he's an international arms dealer, and he makes a fool of Cobra Commander on a regular basis.

10. Eric Cartman of "South Park", he's a degenerate sociopath, with a Machiavellian style to his fiendish plots!

Mayor may not run for office...
Chapter 2

"Hello everyone! I'm Julius Quasar, and I'm running for -Ow! Todd, quit it!- Mayor of Corneria City! As your Mayor, I...-Could someone please get the door?- will do my best, to serve the public, in an honest, fair, and responsible manner! I love Corneria and the Lylat System. They have provided me with a new home, purpose, and a better future! It is the best home that I ever had! Therefore, I want to give back, in a way that-AAAAAAHHHH! OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW! Ugh...I'll be so glad for this election to be over!". That was my election video. I had made several "Takes", and sadly, that was the best one I could make, where Todd threw a soccer ball at my head, the doorbell rang (Todd had ordered a pizza), and I was holding the camera in front of my face as I walked around my home, and missed the top step of the stairs, and fell down them while tumbling and holding the camera. The camera landed at the foot of the stairs, where my feet were seen limping away. "JULIUS QUASAR FOR MAYOR" flashed on the screen.

Todd and Lola laughed when they saw this. Tigress had a smile on her face. Falco and Katt fell out of their seats, howling and laughing. Misty put her face in her palm. Madame Vulpine snickered amusingly, and Conrad smiled. Slippy giggled and said "Looks like something I would do!". Fox rolled his eyes, and Krystal smiled politely. We all were at mine and Misty's place, a week later.

Fara, Fay, Miyu, and Pal giggled, as Silas looked confused. Babs snorted in amusement, as Edge laughed. Akasha wore a mean grin, and Kylie looked pensively at the TV.

"Well?" I said.

"You sure you want that to represent yourself in the elections?" Krystal said to me. "I did this kind of 'on a budget', I was lucky to get this air time when I did." I said.

Suddenly, another political ad came on TV.

"Julius says he's responsible, but last year he broke the biggest window in City Hall!" an announcer's smooth sounding voice proclaimed. A picture of a large broken window alongside my mug shot from the CCPD flashed on screen. My hair was a mess, I was dirty, and I was giving the camera the middle finger while holding up my mug shot photo identification board. My middle finger was blurred out.

"Julius says he 'loves Corneria', yet he handled stolen government property, and was incarcerated for it!" said the announcer. The news headline from the night of my arrest showed up briefly, my face blurred out, but you could hear my voice as I was screaming and swearing, the swears were bleeped out.

"...Julius was the one that farted during that big, important city council meeting last summer!". Footage from that city council meeting on the news was shown, where the former mayor was speaking to the city council, only to be interrupted by a gigantic fart. The former mayor looked horrified.

A photo of me looking grimy, unshaven, and holding a malt liquor bottle as I slumped in a lounge chair in front of my small, rickety, first house I had bought since moving to Corneria appeared on the screen.

"Broke the biggest window in City Hall! Convicted of handling stolen government property! Farting during an important meeting! Is that who you want as your next mayor of Corneria City!?" *the words to these sentences flash on screen as the announcer says them*

Todd showed up on screen, well dressed and well groomed, sober, and shaking hands of cheering citizens as press members snapped photos of him. "Vote Todd McCloud for Mayor! PaidforbythecounciltoelectToddMcCloudforMayorandbyFoxgloveIncorporated, L.L.C." the voice said, running by the "Paid for by" part very quickly.

Misty and I glared at Todd and Lola. "Oops..." Todd said, shrugging sheepishly. "NO REGRETS!" Lola said, before breaking out in mad laughter.

"TODD! LOLA! That was really mean of you, going behind Julius' back like that!" Fara scolded. Suddenly, another political ad came on.

"When you think of Julius Quasar...what comes to mind?
FRAUD! *stamping noise is heard and 'FRAUD' appears in angry red ink*
*scary music plays as Julius Quasar's mug shot appears*

"Julius Quasar is a man of weak constitution! He makes selfish and idiotic decisions! He had a gambling problem, poor impulse control, and a bad temper!"

*photos of "Members of the Lylat Federation Vs. Julius Quasar" are flashed on screen*
*photos of past due utility bills that are addressed to Julius Quasar appear on screen*
*photos of Julius Quasar entering several Zoness casinos are now visible*

"Is Julius Quasar someone you trust to run your city?"

*Music changes to happy and upbeat*

"Back a true winner! Vote Fara Phoenix for Mayor today! Fara is honest, intelligent, responsible, polite, hard working, and not afraid to present the facts and true issues!"

Fara appeared on screen, dressed in her usual outfit (green tights, fuchsia leotards, gloves, boots, and pink head wear), and she said "Remember voters, 'FARA GOOOD! JULIUS, BAAAAAD!' Vote for me!" she held up a photo of my mugshot like it was a dirty sock when she said the word "bad". The words "Paid for by 'Phoenix Shipping Industries, Ltd.', and by the committee to elect Fara Phoenix for Mayor!" flashed on screen. We all glared at Fara. "Hypocrite!" Todd and Lola said to her at the same time, as Fara blushed bright red. "Those photos are from our last team vacation to Zoness, and those bills were from when Julius had that old one bedroom house from a long time ago!" Misty said to Fara in my defense.

"Did anybody else run for Mayor!?" I asked irritably. Falco raised his hand, as did Babs, Fox, Akasha, and Fay...

"Good luck." I said bitterly to all of them, including Todd and Fara, as I stormed out of the room.

*that's it for this chapter*

Mayor may not run for office...
Chapter 1

"Julius! Check it out!" Todd called me from the next room. I headed in there, where he, and the rest of the Star Fox team had gathered, in the tv room of the Tabbiloni Mansion (now mine and Misty's). The Mayor of Corneria City appeared on the TV. "I am resigning from office..." he rambled on. The news cut to reveal that the Mayor's Office of Corneria City was involved in a big scandal, and that an election was going to be held VERY soon.

"But WHO will run for mayor!?" asked the bespectacled red vixen reporter.

As the news droned on, Todd laughed. "Maybe I should run for Mayor." I joked. Everyone laughed, but then Fox said "Why not?". Tigress laughed "Julius!? That'll be the day!" she said, not in a mean way, but more in an incredulous way.

"It wouldn't hurt to get our name out there again." said Krystal. "Yeah, and I'm sure Julius could do it...for about 5 minutes!" Falco said, and everyone else laughed. "Who says I can't!?" I said. "Julius, how much political experience DO you have, and don't say 'voting' or that 'NRA' thing on your planet, the grassroots campaigning and writing angry emails to your politicians." said Akasha.

"I'll do it..." I said angrily. "You'll see!"

"Yeah, sure you will! You gonna run for governor next!?" Edge joked.

"At least it can mean work and sweet deals for the rest of you if I am Mayor!" I said. The others didn't laugh that time. "Well now, that sounds good...assuming Julius makes that long shot!" said Katt. "I wouldn't mind having our voices heard, and our team gaining more power!" said Fara.

"But how's he gonna do this!?" asked Falco. "People already know me from Star Fox, I'm sure that they'll vote for me!" I said. "They remember you as a convict! A criminal refugee..." Lola. "And who let me in to begin with!? Oh yeah, your brothers!" I said to her. Lola giggled.

"I can't win by not trying! I'm not going to spend an outrageous amount of money on my campaign, and if I use the right strategies, I could win!" I said. "Good luck Julius!" everyone said to me. I nodded, and headed out....as I got in the car, Misty ran after me. "Where are you going?" she asked me. "I'm going to city hall, putting in my bid for Mayor!" I told her. I kissed her, and drove down there.

Later, as I arrived at City Hall, I went where I was directed to, and put in my application ballot for mayor. I came back, and relaxed at home with Misty. "Did you do it?" she asked. "You'll see..." I said.

On the evening news, the bespectacled red vixen appeared, and said "This just in, apparently we have a new candidate in the race for the mayor of Corneria City! Julius Quasar, Earth refugee, Cornerian Citizen, and member of Team Star Fox has just cast his bid for Mayor! You may remember him from..."

A group photo of Team Star Fox appeared, with a close up of me being focused in from the camera.

"You really did it!?" Misty said, her face filled with surprise. The phone rang. "Yeah, I know, he's here now, he really did it!" Misty said. She looked at me. The others had gone home. "Why do you want to do it?" asked Misty. "I wanted to try something new..." I said.

*that's it for this chapter*

Diary of a Mad Furry
[utube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpWXpa6y2Eo[/utube]

Diary of a Mad Furry
*I was wrong about that restaurant, it's still open.

Well...it's Valentine's Day, and I'm once again dateless and pissed off. I did get my mom a nice surprise for Valentine's Day, it's 6 chocolate covered strawberries, kept safe in my dad's minibar until tomorrow. Dad got her some Godiva chocolates...I figured that I'd try to do something nice for my mom.

Now, regarding the former officer Chris Dorner, I support him 100%. Yes, he killed some cops, yes, he killed the police captain's daughter and the daughter's fiance...but he was UNJUSTLY FIRED. So not right. I don't blame him for that rampage...I felt the same way when I lost my job unjustly with the USPS in 2006. This country sucks ass. They threw him under the bus because he reported a superior/training officer for misconduct, and Chris was fired unjustly. They wrongly rejected his appeals for re-hiring. They ruined his life. It sucks that he died...so not right. The stupid cops who were looking for him fired on innocent people, yet they get to keep their jobs! WTF!?

I wish he had escaped to Mexico.
I don't care what the L.A.P.D. reports, or the news says, Chris was UNJUSTLY FIRED.

The Pope has quit!
Posted Image

OR...

Posted Image

Posted Image

The Pope has quit!
Pope Benedict the XVI has announced his resignation, health and age being his reasons. He is the first pope to resign since 1415.

We all remember when this German theologian, whose mission was to reawaken Christianity in secularized Europe, deteriorated increasingly as he shouldered the monumental task of purging the Catholic world of the scandals that festered under John Paul II and exploded during his reign into the church's biggest crisis in decades, if not centuries.

He bore the painful sting of betrayal by one of his closest aides: Benedict's own butler was convicted by a Vatican court of stealing the pontiff's personal papers and giving them to a journalist, one of the gravest breaches of papal security in modern times.

All the while, His [Former] Holiness pursued his single-minded vision to rekindle faith in a world which, he frequently lamented, seemed to think it could do without God.

"In vast areas of the world today, there is a strange forgetfulness of God. It seems as if everything would be just the same even without Him." he told 1 million young people gathered on a vast field for his first foreign trip as pope, World Youth Day in Cologne, Germany in 2005.

With some decisive, often controversial moves, Benedict tried to remind Europe of its Christian heritage and set the Catholic Church on a conservative, tradition-minded path that often angered progressives and enthralled conservatives.

Benedict was born April 16, 1927 in Marktl Am Inn, in Bavaria, but his father, a policeman, moved frequently and the family left when he was 2.

In his memoirs, Benedict dealt what could have been a source of controversy had it been kept secret that he was enlisted in the Nazi youth movement against his will when he was 14 in 1941, when membership was mandatory. He said he was soon let out because of his studies for the priesthood. Two years later he was drafted into a Nazi anti-aircraft unit as a helper. He deserted the German army in April 1945, the closing days of the war.

He called it prophetic that a German followed a Polish pope with both men coming from such different sides of World War II.

Benedict was ordained, along with his brother, in 1951. After spending several years teaching theology in Germany, he was appointed bishop of Munich in 1977 and elevated to cardinal three months later by Pope Paul VI.

John Paul named him leader of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in 1981 and he took up his post a year later. Following John Paul's death in 2005, he was elected pope.

If there were any doubts about Benedict's priority to reinvigorate Christianity in Europe, his choice of a papal name was as good as any indication.

Benedict told cardinals soon after he was elected that he hoped to be a pope of peace, like Pope Benedict XV, who reigned during World War 1. But the first Benedict St. Benedict of Norcia was also an inspiration to him.

St. Benedict, the 5th and 6th century monk is a patron saint of Europe and inspired the creation of the Benedictine order, the main guardian of learning and literature in Western Europe during the dark centuries that followed the fall of the Roman Empire.

I think it's better that he leave while his mental faculties are still intact, than to reign on with a failing mind, being taken advantage of by the wrong parties...

The Lost City On Titania
(Now that FurryFilm is back, we still gonna do this? FurryFilm? Kursed? Guys?)

Saph's Works
Cool. I like it so far.

Favorites of Star Fox
Probably my favorite villain to fight would be either he Pirate Monkey of the Sarumarine on Zoness, or the Redneck Engineer Monkey of the Macbeth "Forever Train".

Corneria College
Meanwhile, in the theater, Todd sat in a front seat...the stage curtains parted, revealing on stage a female foxbat in a black velvet thong leotard teddy. She strutted up to Todd. "Hey." she said, putting her arm around Todd . "Hey, LOLA..." Todd said. The foxbat stroked Todd and said "I'm not Lola". "Really? Because she pulled this trick at the fetish club before" Todd replied. "Lola's backstage, silly." said the foxbat.

"So, you're not Lola in a costume this time?" Todd asked. "Nope..." said the foxbat, as she put her hand into Todd's crotch.

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Todd said, trying to get away from the foxbat, but she placed her legs on either side of Todd's legs as she leaned over him, and used her hands to pin his shoulders to the seat. She pressed her lips to Todd's lips. "Mmmmpppphhhh! RRRRrrrrppphhhh!" came Todd's muffled cries. The foxbat climbed into Todd's lap and wrapped her arms and legs around him. Todd couldn't fight her off.

Lola walked into the theater, and saw the foxbat on Todd. "Todd? What the hell is going on here!?" she declared, angrily as she placed her hands on her hips.

The foxbat let go of Todd. "Lola! It's not what it looks like! You know I love you!" Todd said. The foxbat stood up, and smiled at Todd.

"If that's how you feel." the foxbat said. She smiled, giggled, reached behind herself, and suddenly an unzipping sound was heard as she took off her disguise. The female foxbat in the black velvet thong leotard teddy, was really Misty this time, in that high quality costume disguise.

"MISTY!" said Todd.

"Hi Todd!" MISTY kissed Todd, and gently folded up the costume. Lola, giggled and walked up to them. "Thanks Lola, can you please get my boots, and put this away for me?" Misty asked her. "Sure." Lola said, taking the costume. Misty joined Todd in the front row seats, as he took her into his lap. Lola put the costume away in their costume trunk, and placed it safely in the backstage dressing room, then she got Misty's boots.

She rejoined Todd and Misty. "We got you again!" she teased Todd as she handed Misty her boots. "You did, sort of...!" Todd said. "We wanted to see if we could fool you again." Misty declared as she put on her boots.

The three of them hung out in the theater together.

Group Therapy
"It seems to me, zat you are all in a severe pattern of dysfunction, and malaise. You all need to work to come together, and try and find something in vitch all of you can share." said the shrink.

"Problem is, we like too many different things." Todd said. "..and some of us are no good at EVERYTHING!" Akasha said, looking towards Todd. "At least I don't chew up magazines!" Todd said. "You sleepwalk at night and pee on the TV set!" Akasha shot back.

"Everyone, everyone, you must stop the bickering! This is not healthy! Now...it seems to me that each of you should list an interest, and ve go around ze group, and see how much ve all have in common. Todd? You first!" the shrink declared.

Todd stood and spoke "Well...I can...fly, and shoot the guns okay...I, uh...can fight hand-to-hand...." as he thought of what to say, Lola teased him and interrupted him. "You can get drunk, fall down, and make dirty drunk phone calls to everyone you know too!" Lola giggled.

"HEY! I'm more useful than that!" Todd said. "Yeah, the guy who puts thumbtacks on the toilet seat is soooo indispensable." Krystal said. "You're the one who tricked me into thinking that the Cerinian word for 'bathroom' was my name in Cerinian!" Todd said to Krystal.

"You're the one who tricked me into thinking you sold my comic book collection to a friend of ours the day he moved to Planet Zoness!" Slippy snapped at Todd. "Well I'M the one who spit in little Akasha's cereal this morning! I mean...oops..." Todd said, realizing his mistake.

"I DRANK THAT MILK! I LICKED THE BOWL! I HATE YOU!!!" Akasha shrieked at Todd. "Oh shut up, runt!" Todd said to Akasha. "YOU SHUT UP!" Kylie shouted at Todd, taking a swing at him. They started fighting, and Krystal, Akasha, Lola, Misty, and Fox jumped in on the fight.

"Zis is NO VAY to get healthy! Shtop! Shtop this at vonce!" shouted the doctor, as Tigress tried to pick them up and pull them apart, Akasha was kicking and shrieking as she was clutched under Tigress' arm.

***

After Krystal, Todd, Akasha, Kylie, Lola, Misty, and Fox were pacified and separated from fighting, the doctor breathed a sigh of relief. Krystal, Todd, Akasha, Kylie, Lola, Misty, and Fox sat apart from each other, on the floor, their feet tucked into their chests, hands behind their heads.

Tigress paced before them, keeping watch.

"I'm sorry, but zis is vorse than I thought! I believe zat you are losing respect for one another...and that has to stop! I believe zat it is in ze best interest of ze team that it disband. You vill also need additional therapy sessions as vell!" said the doctor. "I don't know if disbanding the team would do any better, that's a 'cop-out'." Misty declared. "Yeah, everyone seems to be looking for the easy way out, a 'quick fix'. That's no way to solve things." said Falco. "We wouldn't need additional sessions if we disband the team, than makes no sense!" said Fara.

"I'm afraid zat just one session von't do! You all may have to visit me, separately and repeatedly...better yet, I think you need more in-depth analyzing from more advanced specialists in psychology!" the shrink said. "So...what, you'll run the meter up on us, then dump us off on one of your shrink buddies for a kickback, is that it!?" Todd grumbled.

"No, no, not at all!" said the doctor.

"Now WAIT A MINUTE!" said Fox. "You said you were able to cure anyone! Not lead them on for a few sessions, then pass them along to someone else! This is an outrage!" said Falco. "But you are an extreme case!" said the doctor. "Us and how many others!?" said Madame Vulpine.

"I think we've made a breakthrough. We're not gonna let someone like you talk down to us, and then think he can pull one over on us with this crap!" said Edge. Fox ago up off the floor, along with Kylie, Krystal, Misty, Akasha, Lola, and Todd. "We don't need your b.s.!" said Todd.

"Yeah, and I see the diplomas on the wall! You just need to pay off your student loans!" Babs accused. "Now vait, that's not....!" the doctor backed away from the team as they advanced on him. Fox reached into his jacket, as the shrink cringed, fearing the worst.

Fox pulled out a pen and a checkbook, and wrote a check, entered it in the register, and handed it to the shrink. "There! For ONE session! I think we're done here!" Fox put away the pen and checkbook, and the team gathered their things and left.

"But VAIT! You shtill have so much to go over! Ve have barely scratched the surface...." said the doctor. "Thanks, but we're fine!" said Slippy. After they left the shrink's office, they all burst out laughing. "There! Doesn't that feel better to get that all out in the open!? Doesn't it feel like we're a functional team again?" Fox said to the others, who nodded. They went home, and they got along much better for a long time to come.

*THE END*


Thanks for reading!

Saph's Works
Oh, I see! Thank you!

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