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Mayor may not run for office...; a J. Q. narrative
Topic Started: Feb 16 2013, 01:36 PM (204 Views)
Julius Quasar
Member Avatar
CDF Commander of the Army
Chapter 1

"Julius! Check it out!" Todd called me from the next room. I headed in there, where he, and the rest of the Star Fox team had gathered, in the tv room of the Tabbiloni Mansion (now mine and Misty's). The Mayor of Corneria City appeared on the TV. "I am resigning from office..." he rambled on. The news cut to reveal that the Mayor's Office of Corneria City was involved in a big scandal, and that an election was going to be held VERY soon.

"But WHO will run for mayor!?" asked the bespectacled red vixen reporter.

As the news droned on, Todd laughed. "Maybe I should run for Mayor." I joked. Everyone laughed, but then Fox said "Why not?". Tigress laughed "Julius!? That'll be the day!" she said, not in a mean way, but more in an incredulous way.

"It wouldn't hurt to get our name out there again." said Krystal. "Yeah, and I'm sure Julius could do it...for about 5 minutes!" Falco said, and everyone else laughed. "Who says I can't!?" I said. "Julius, how much political experience DO you have, and don't say 'voting' or that 'NRA' thing on your planet, the grassroots campaigning and writing angry emails to your politicians." said Akasha.

"I'll do it..." I said angrily. "You'll see!"

"Yeah, sure you will! You gonna run for governor next!?" Edge joked.

"At least it can mean work and sweet deals for the rest of you if I am Mayor!" I said. The others didn't laugh that time. "Well now, that sounds good...assuming Julius makes that long shot!" said Katt. "I wouldn't mind having our voices heard, and our team gaining more power!" said Fara.

"But how's he gonna do this!?" asked Falco. "People already know me from Star Fox, I'm sure that they'll vote for me!" I said. "They remember you as a convict! A criminal refugee..." Lola. "And who let me in to begin with!? Oh yeah, your brothers!" I said to her. Lola giggled.

"I can't win by not trying! I'm not going to spend an outrageous amount of money on my campaign, and if I use the right strategies, I could win!" I said. "Good luck Julius!" everyone said to me. I nodded, and headed out....as I got in the car, Misty ran after me. "Where are you going?" she asked me. "I'm going to city hall, putting in my bid for Mayor!" I told her. I kissed her, and drove down there.

Later, as I arrived at City Hall, I went where I was directed to, and put in my application ballot for mayor. I came back, and relaxed at home with Misty. "Did you do it?" she asked. "You'll see..." I said.

On the evening news, the bespectacled red vixen appeared, and said "This just in, apparently we have a new candidate in the race for the mayor of Corneria City! Julius Quasar, Earth refugee, Cornerian Citizen, and member of Team Star Fox has just cast his bid for Mayor! You may remember him from..."

A group photo of Team Star Fox appeared, with a close up of me being focused in from the camera.

"You really did it!?" Misty said, her face filled with surprise. The phone rang. "Yeah, I know, he's here now, he really did it!" Misty said. She looked at me. The others had gone home. "Why do you want to do it?" asked Misty. "I wanted to try something new..." I said.

*that's it for this chapter*
Edited by Julius Quasar, Feb 16 2013, 07:03 PM.
 
Julius Quasar
Member Avatar
CDF Commander of the Army
Chapter 2

"Hello everyone! I'm Julius Quasar, and I'm running for -Ow! Todd, quit it!- Mayor of Corneria City! As your Mayor, I...-Could someone please get the door?- will do my best, to serve the public, in an honest, fair, and responsible manner! I love Corneria and the Lylat System. They have provided me with a new home, purpose, and a better future! It is the best home that I ever had! Therefore, I want to give back, in a way that-AAAAAAHHHH! OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW! Ugh...I'll be so glad for this election to be over!". That was my election video. I had made several "Takes", and sadly, that was the best one I could make, where Todd threw a soccer ball at my head, the doorbell rang (Todd had ordered a pizza), and I was holding the camera in front of my face as I walked around my home, and missed the top step of the stairs, and fell down them while tumbling and holding the camera. The camera landed at the foot of the stairs, where my feet were seen limping away. "JULIUS QUASAR FOR MAYOR" flashed on the screen.

Todd and Lola laughed when they saw this. Tigress had a smile on her face. Falco and Katt fell out of their seats, howling and laughing. Misty put her face in her palm. Madame Vulpine snickered amusingly, and Conrad smiled. Slippy giggled and said "Looks like something I would do!". Fox rolled his eyes, and Krystal smiled politely. We all were at mine and Misty's place, a week later.

Fara, Fay, Miyu, and Pal giggled, as Silas looked confused. Babs snorted in amusement, as Edge laughed. Akasha wore a mean grin, and Kylie looked pensively at the TV.

"Well?" I said.

"You sure you want that to represent yourself in the elections?" Krystal said to me. "I did this kind of 'on a budget', I was lucky to get this air time when I did." I said.

Suddenly, another political ad came on TV.

"Julius says he's responsible, but last year he broke the biggest window in City Hall!" an announcer's smooth sounding voice proclaimed. A picture of a large broken window alongside my mug shot from the CCPD flashed on screen. My hair was a mess, I was dirty, and I was giving the camera the middle finger while holding up my mug shot photo identification board. My middle finger was blurred out.

"Julius says he 'loves Corneria', yet he handled stolen government property, and was incarcerated for it!" said the announcer. The news headline from the night of my arrest showed up briefly, my face blurred out, but you could hear my voice as I was screaming and swearing, the swears were bleeped out.

"...Julius was the one that farted during that big, important city council meeting last summer!". Footage from that city council meeting on the news was shown, where the former mayor was speaking to the city council, only to be interrupted by a gigantic fart. The former mayor looked horrified.

A photo of me looking grimy, unshaven, and holding a malt liquor bottle as I slumped in a lounge chair in front of my small, rickety, first house I had bought since moving to Corneria appeared on the screen.

"Broke the biggest window in City Hall! Convicted of handling stolen government property! Farting during an important meeting! Is that who you want as your next mayor of Corneria City!?" *the words to these sentences flash on screen as the announcer says them*

Todd showed up on screen, well dressed and well groomed, sober, and shaking hands of cheering citizens as press members snapped photos of him. "Vote Todd McCloud for Mayor! PaidforbythecounciltoelectToddMcCloudforMayorandbyFoxgloveIncorporated, L.L.C." the voice said, running by the "Paid for by" part very quickly.

Misty and I glared at Todd and Lola. "Oops..." Todd said, shrugging sheepishly. "NO REGRETS!" Lola said, before breaking out in mad laughter.

"TODD! LOLA! That was really mean of you, going behind Julius' back like that!" Fara scolded. Suddenly, another political ad came on.

"When you think of Julius Quasar...what comes to mind?
FRAUD! *stamping noise is heard and 'FRAUD' appears in angry red ink*
*scary music plays as Julius Quasar's mug shot appears*

"Julius Quasar is a man of weak constitution! He makes selfish and idiotic decisions! He had a gambling problem, poor impulse control, and a bad temper!"

*photos of "Members of the Lylat Federation Vs. Julius Quasar" are flashed on screen*
*photos of past due utility bills that are addressed to Julius Quasar appear on screen*
*photos of Julius Quasar entering several Zoness casinos are now visible*

"Is Julius Quasar someone you trust to run your city?"

*Music changes to happy and upbeat*

"Back a true winner! Vote Fara Phoenix for Mayor today! Fara is honest, intelligent, responsible, polite, hard working, and not afraid to present the facts and true issues!"

Fara appeared on screen, dressed in her usual outfit (green tights, fuchsia leotards, gloves, boots, and pink head wear), and she said "Remember voters, 'FARA GOOOD! JULIUS, BAAAAAD!' Vote for me!" she held up a photo of my mugshot like it was a dirty sock when she said the word "bad". The words "Paid for by 'Phoenix Shipping Industries, Ltd.', and by the committee to elect Fara Phoenix for Mayor!" flashed on screen. We all glared at Fara. "Hypocrite!" Todd and Lola said to her at the same time, as Fara blushed bright red. "Those photos are from our last team vacation to Zoness, and those bills were from when Julius had that old one bedroom house from a long time ago!" Misty said to Fara in my defense.

"Did anybody else run for Mayor!?" I asked irritably. Falco raised his hand, as did Babs, Fox, Akasha, and Fay...

"Good luck." I said bitterly to all of them, including Todd and Fara, as I stormed out of the room.

*that's it for this chapter*
 
Julius Quasar
Member Avatar
CDF Commander of the Army
Chapter 3

I set up my Campaign HQ in a small office I was able to afford to rent, it cost me $400 Credits per month, and it was on a three month lease. I had buttons, posters, and flyers printed out, along with lawn signs to distribute. "JULIUS FOR MAYOR"....

I set up a tripod and a camera, and sat at my desk (a pair of saw-horses and a door, covered with a blue sheet)...my "chair" was just an overturned bucket. I sat up straight, and smiled into the camera. I gave my speech, then used the computer software to edit the pictures, and graphics.

Here's how the video came out...

*Focusing on Julius Quasar behind a desk*

"Hello, citizens of Corneria! Julius Quasar, here! Now, don't be taken in by anything said about me by my opponents. I am here to clear the record...

*screen goes dark*
"Todd McCloud abuses alcohol!"
*records of Todd's DUI arrests appear on screen*
"He is a sexual deviant!"
*Todd appears in a BDSM session photo*
"Todd hasn't voted, and doesn't learn about the issues in the news! He has recklessly damaged property belonging to others, and never paid for it!"
*a picture of Todd creeping away from a vehicle and its baseball damaged windshield, while a baseball and baseball bat in his hands is now shown*

"As for Fara Phoenix, she is supported by a trust fund, has limited experience 'working for a living', and is oblivious to the lives of ordinary everyday citizens."
*A photo of Fara in a swimsuit and lying in a lounge chair by the pool is seen*

"Is that who want for Mayor?"

*video goes back to Julius in his office*
"I, Julius Quasar, know that the street lights on 12th street keep flickering out! I'm aware of the bright lighting from the civic center keeping the nearby residents awake at night, despite having the curtains closed on their windows! I know we are sick and tired of city resources being misused and wasted. As Mayor, I'll put a stop to this and more! Please, think carefully as you cast your vote!"

I uploaded the video, and I paid for the advertisement for the TV broadcast as well. I had to cover all angles. I watched the ads on the computer...nothing new against me so far. I got up, and began to collect my materials, and head into the suburbs and get my name out there.

It was a real pain, but I managed to walk all over the neighborhoods, and despite the setbacks, I managed to convince everyone that I could to back me in the campaign. I ran out of the lawn signs, fliers, and buttons. I wished Misty had seen me in action. I couldn't find her when I woke up that morning...

I headed home, and turned on the TV.

Todd appeared in another political ad. He slammed Fox, Akasha, Falco, Fay, Babs, and most of all...

"Julius is the worst out of all of them! He only now just found out about 'the street lights on 12th street keep flickering out!' and 'the bright lighting from the civic center keeping the nearby residents awake at night, despite having the curtains closed on their windows'! Dd he say WHAT he planned to do about that? With Julius, it's all 'touch and go'. He's unreliable, and a gas-bag!" Todd said. The curtains behind Todd parted, and Madame Vulpine, Misty, and Lola, along with a bunch of other anthropomorphic showgirls in feathered and sequin leotard outfits sang, danced, and performed. The curtains closed, as Todd stepped onto the stage apron in front of them, and he applauded, laughing. "Weren't they great folks? A special thanks to Madame Vulpine and her performing company!" he said. "VOTE FOR TODD" appeared and the ad ended.

The phone rang.

"What!?" I said.

"Give it up, loser! I got you!" Todd taunted. "We'll see!" I said. "Your own girlfriend left you on the rocks! Ha!" Todd taunted. "Todd, don't!!" Misty's voice wafted over the background. I slammed the phone down in anger.

"This just in...it appears that Star Wolf, or rather their leader, Wolf O' Donnell, is running for Mayor as well, and...(really!?)...this election is really heating up, with the polls being calculated and undetermined at this time..." the vixen reporter looked shocked at learning about Wolf running for Mayor. Uh-oh!

I was still in shock about Misty. How could she do this to me!?

*that's it for this chapter*
 
Julius Quasar
Member Avatar
CDF Commander of the Army
Chapter 4

"As a former law enforcement detective, I've seen the best, and the worst of Corneria City. I also know what makes a good mayor for this city. There are those with a spotty legal past..."

*Todd McCloud's, Falco Lombardi's, Wolf O' Donnell's, and Julius Quasar's mug shots appear on screen*
"Those with a history of mental instability..."
*Akasha's photo of her chewing up magazines appears onscreen*
"And there are those who are better suited to mercenary or medical work, more than civics."
*Fox McCloud and Fay Spaniel appear on screen*

"Vote for me, Detective Tina 'Babs' Conijn, a deductively brilliant choice for mayor." Babs said.

"Spare me!" I said to the bar TV, as I slumped over at the counter, a near empty glass of Scotch in my hand.

"Hello, Friends! Don't let 'bad medicine' get you down!"

*Julius, Falco, Babs, Todd, Fara, Fox, Akasha, and Wolf appear with crossbones behind them, on labels attached to black bottles*

"Look to the medical professional for the cure! Vote for Fay Spaniel!"

Fay's ad appeared on TV, and I snorted in disgust. Next came Falco's ad:

"If there's anyone better qualified for Mayor, it's ME! Falco Lombardi! I have survived living the seamier side of the Lylat System! I know where the problems are, and what really needs fixin', and what can be fixed! I don't pretend to know what's going on just 'cause I glance at the news every so often!"

*Julius Quasar's upside down mug shot appears*
"I don't try to run things like a cop!"
*Babs' picture appears sideways*
"Or a mercenary team!"
*Fox and Wolf's pictures appear*
"Or a 'medical professional'..."
*Fay's picture appears*
"...or a 'Crash Test Dummy'..."
*Fara's picture appears*
"and unlike some, I can perform my job SOBER!"
*Todd's picture appears*

"So cast your vote for someone who matters! Falco for Mayor!"

I groaned angrily.

"Akasha Sharavan! Proven genius, multiple science award winner! A self made success, who overcame a lot, and rises to the challenge!" Kylie's voice said, as Akasha's picture appeared.

"Don't vote for a drunk!"
*Todd appears passed out at a bar in a picture*
"A deviant!"
*Babs appears in a 'Playboy Bunny' outfit (strapless leotard, cuffs, bow tie collar, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes, and her lop ears tied at the base so they can stand up) as she is seen in Edge's lap*
"A criminal!"
*Julius', Falco's, and Wolf's mug shots appear*
"A trust fund princess!"
*Fara Phoenix appears in a swimsuit, lounging by a pool*
"A so called 'medical professional' who doesn't even possess a valid license!"
*Fay Spaniel appears picking her nose in a photo*
"Too many opponents of mine don't know how to handle a problem! But I'm a genius, so I can think of the right solution for any problem! Vote for me!" Akasha said.

I finished my drink, paid and tipped for it, and nearly passed out at the bar.

Meanwhile, a female foxbat in a black velvet thong leotard teddy strutted up to me. "Hey." she said, putting her arm around me as she sat on the adjacent stool. "Hey..." I said. The foxbat stroked me and said "Why are you here by yourself?". "Just taking a break." I replied. "I meant at this place, silly." said the foxbat.

"I'm just getting sick of this election race. I'm on my own. Even my girlfriend deserted me, went to work for the competition." I explained. "Really? I'm sorry to hear that..." said the foxbat, as she put her hand into my crotch.

"Whoa, wait a minute!" I said, trying to get away from the foxbat, but she climbed onto my stool and placed her legs on either side of my legs as she leaned over me, and used her hands to pin my shoulders to the bar. She pressed her boobs in my face. "Mmmmpppphhhh! RRRRrrrrppphhhh!" came my muffled cries. The foxbat climbed into my lap and kissed me on the mouth. I couldn't fight her off of me.

When she let go, I said "I'm flattered, I really am, but I still love Misty, and there's no alternative for her. Not even you. I'm sorry, but you'll have to get off of me now!". The foxbat stood up, and glared angrily at me. "Hmph! What are you, gay!? Or are you really on that tight of a leash held by this 'Misty', are you even married to her!?" she said, using a mocking tone for Misty's name. "Yes, I love her, we're not yet married, and if you don't leave me alone, I'll tell her and she'll kick your ass." I said.

"If that's how you feel." the foxbat said. She smiled, giggled, reached behind herself, and suddenly an unzipping sound was heard as Lola took off her disguise. The female foxbat in the black velvet thong leotard teddy, was really Lola in a high quality costume disguise.

"LOLA!" I said.

"Hi Julius!" Lola kissed me, and gently folded up the costume. Lola walked over to the booth where she had stored her boots, and placed the costume in a case, and then put on her boots and walked out of the bar. "What as that about!?" the bartender asked me. "No idea." I replied.

I staggered out of the bar, slowly sobering up. The sun was setting. I saw Lola on a billboard, she was wearing a skimpy outfit in the advertisement, which said "Lola Foxglove says...'VOTE TODD MCCLOUD FOR MAYOR'!". Somebody wrote "WHORE" in black spray-paint on Lola's forehead. I laughed.

I walked over to my Campaign Office....and found it trashed!

"NO!" I shouted. My flyers, signs, and posters, ripped to pieces! The banner was spray painted...my table was turned over, the sawhorse broken, a hole in the old door....the bucket was crushed...my video camera and old desk top computer were wrecked! The tripod for the camera was ruined...

I sat down on the floor, and buried my hands in my face.

"Julius?" a voice said outside my door.

"What?" I asked. Misty came in, a troubled expression on her face. She looked really cute in her dance outfit, consisting of a leotard, tailcoat, tuxedo shirt, tie, vest, top hat, and dance shoes, all in the colors of the Lylat Federation.

"I can't work for Todd anymore. He went to far, trashing your campaign H.Q., and then sending Lola into the bar, while she was wearing that foxbat disguise, and Todd took pictures of you two together to make you look bad in the polls...I can't deal with the bitterness, the fighting, and the cruelty. I'm sorry." she said.

"Is that what Lola was up to!?" I asked. Misty nodded. "I tried to call and warn you about that, and about your office, I even tried to talk Todd out of it, but Lola's family already set the plan into motion." she said. "Oh well, I tried, as did you. It's okay. I wasn't doing so well anyways." I explained to Misty about how whenever I made a press appearance and conference, fake reporters would pop up and say things like "Have you stopped digging potholes in the street?" and "Why haven't you stopped ringing people's doorbells and running away!?", and pissed off citizens would say "I've been looking for the jerk who's been doing that!" or pointing at me and saying "So it was YOU!?".

Other times I was drowned out by a wall of loud cried of "BOO!", and the cops did nothing to quiet them down. Random citizens in the audience would throw sour milk filled water balloons at me during one of my speeches, or during a debate with one of my opponents. It was the worst when I was up against Todd, I was hit by all of those types of attacks.

Misty shook her head and swore in disgust.

"I'm definitely sorry I ever helped Todd. He promised not to do that sort of stuff to you, but now I see what that's worth. But I'm sorry to say to you, that I don't want to be caught in the middle of this, so if you want anything on Todd to use against him, I can't..." I got up and hugged Misty, and kissed her. "It's okay, I don't even care anymore. I'm gonna clean up this office, and enjoy it for the last few weeks I have left on it!" I said. "Great!" Misty said. We cleaned up the office, and then went home together.

I watched the news, and saw that, ironically, I was pretty far ahead in the polls. People were tired of Todd McCloud being shoved in their faces, and Wolf's advertisements were done by these weird artists, who were friend's of Panther and Leon, and the ads made no sense.

Another candidate was in the polls, a bat creature named Wesley Chiroptera, a strange, soft spoken candidate that was becoming strangely popular...in fact, he was in the lead, but he was so weird, that he reminded me of a fictional mayor created by a Seth Macfarlane.

The reporter droned on about the issues, and how I seemed to have dropped out of sight, and possibly out of the race, but it was not confirmed yet, and I was unavailable for comment. I switched off the TV, and joined Misty in bed...

*that's it for this chapter*
 
Julius Quasar
Member Avatar
CDF Commander of the Army
Chapter 5

Election Day was here at last. A week ago, I voted for myself and Misty voted for me. As I watched the news and polls, they kept saying that I had nothing, Todd was a shoe-in to win this, and Wolf was bringing up the rear. What!? Oh well. I sighed, and switched off the TV. Misty and I spent the day together enjoying each others' company, here in the mansion. Reporters were calling, and hammering at the gates. I knew they would come, so Misty and I decided to stay in.

Misty and I ignored them. We swam in the indoor pool, played video games, watched our favorite TV shows and movies...we were just glad to be done with this election madness. As the day wore on, we decided to switch on the TV.

"The polls have closed, and the votes have been tallied! Our newest Mayor is...Wesley Chiroptera! Falco Lombardi came in at 6% of the votes, Detective Tina 'Babs' Conijn at 18%, Fox McCloud at 15%, Akasha Sharavan at 7%, Fay Spaniel at 5%, Todd McCloud at only 3%, Fara Phoenix at 4%, Julius Quasar at 9%, Wolf O' Donnell at 1%, and Wesley Chiroptera at 32%!"

the announcement came through...

"Wow, I wonder how I got as many votes as I did?" I said. "Or why Todd got so few, despite all the time, money, and effort spent..." Misty said. We watched further. "Well, we're just sick of all the ads endorsing Todd for Mayor, so there was a lot of talk about voting against him out of spite. We thought about Julius Quasar, but considering that he comes from another planet, he might try to run things the 'Planet Earth way', not our way. Plus, his abandonment of his own campaign seemed a bit demoralizing."

Other voters being interviewed said why they did or did not support who they did. "Babs is a great cop, private eye, and mercenary, but not political material." and "Who would seriously vote for Wolf O' Donnell!?". "Falco is just a 'bad boy'. That gets old fast, and is not welcome in politics!" said one citizen.


"Todd in charge is the Foxgloves in charge. No thanks!" said a shopkeeper. "Akasha? She just hides all the time, what kind of quality is THAT in a leader!?". "Fara...heh. Stick to piloting!" and "Fay? Medicine is her strengths, that's all she needs!". The general tone about Wesley is that he seemed neutral enough to gain the trust of the voters, despite his odd demeanor and eccentric personality.

Todd was seen at his campaign H.Q. crying, sobbing, on his knees, and pounding his fists on the floor. He then got up, and grabbed a bottle of champagne, opened it, and downed it in practically one gulp. Misty and I laughed. Fox was banging his head against the wall. Falco was grumbling and ripping up his campaign posters.

Fara was standing there in shock. Fay was on the phone, whispering frantically. Wolf, Leon, and Panther were seen taking turns kicking each other in the butt. Babs angrily snorted and turned over the tables, making a terrible mess at her campaign H.Q.

Akasha was chewing up her fliers, but when she saw the cameras, she gave them a big sad expression, and hid. "Julius Quasar is STILL unavailable for comment.

Wesley Chiroptera gave his victory speech.

After the cheers, further reports, Misty and I sighed with relief. I may have lost the election, but so did everyone else whom I had wanted to lose as well. I had no ill will against Wesley, I hardly knew a thing about him. None of us did. We were so busy focusing on each other, that we had forgotten about him, giving him the opportunity to beat us.

***

Later that week, we the Star Fox Team met. "Julius, I'm sorry for all the mean things I said to you, about you, and for what I did to you." said Todd. "As am I." said Fara. "We're all sorry for what we said and did to each other, and about each other." Fox said, and we all agreed.

"Let's not let something like this happen again. If we had all teamed up together, at least one of us would be Mayor." said Todd. "Maybe none of us were meant to be Mayor." Krystal suggested. "Yeah, politics aren't really my thing after all...I don't even know WHY I entered the elections." Falco declared. We all laughed. Fences were mended, and friendships were restored. I wish the best for our newest Mayor of Corneria City.

*THE END*

Thanks for reading!
 
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