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The Shame in Confusion; ABY 62
Topic Started: May 7 2012, 01:59:18 PM (243 Views)
Lani
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Thud. Thud. Thunk. Pounding in her head, temples throbbing, metal in her mouth. A tongue distinctly furry, a mouth dry and apparently host to some manner of dead organism. Eyes firmly welded shut, not daring to lift the dark curtain of lashes that blocked out the light beams from the windows. A hoarse groan that consisted of pleading for mercy as a splayed hand was raised protectively over her face. Thirty year old Mina Devor grabbed the cylindrical cushion and pressed her face against it. "Kill me now, someone, kill me now," she mumbled, knowing no one would hear her, that no one would know she drank herself into this hungover mess, alone.

The nightmares haunting her in the dark reaches of the night, when she at her most vulnerable, laying with blankets over her form. Her head indented on her pillow, short blue locks feathered out over the soft white pillow. The time when on her back, violet eyes staring upwards, to the silver painted ceiling, at the cream papered walls, at the spindly cosmetic table, or into nothingness. It was those terrors of the night that drove her to seek protection in the bottles that littered her sitting-room floor. She wouldn't tell a soul. There was an accord between those bottles and she.They were her confidants, her comfort, and she would not neglect them. They couldn't betray.

Betrayal, the staple that fed the villainy of the galaxy, that kept the potbelly of crime growing. Mina kept getting invited to the feasts that fed it. Which was why she was waking up at 0525 hours, with a hangover. Drowning herself in the variety of alcohol available, blurring her eyes, deafening herself, and sending herself to some kinder reality, one that didn't feature gasps of a man clinging onto life with fine gossamer threads, already frayed.

It had been a side note: "Early this morning, respected Zeltros Senator, Mikhail Devor, passed away. Reported to be of natural causes, no foul play suspected, he was found by his daughter..."And she had hated it. He had been murdered but in a cover up, he had been said to have died of natural causes. An assassination always caused too much frenzy with the media, better to keep things quiet, and Mina hadn't been able to save him.

In a shame that refused to depart, brought on by the confusion that whirled around her mind. The shame in not knowing if these feelings were born from the guilt of her father's death, or from the closure and subsequent betrayal on her former lovers part. The truth hurt more than the never ending limbo of not knowing ever had.

All of those feelings, thoughts and confused truths had brought her to this point as in the 'fresher she lowered her head and brought up the contents of her stomach. It wasn't much. Wiping her hands against her sides, slipping down a little, feeling the hip bones that were a little too promenient. Queasy stirring in her belly, throbbing head, the sour after-taste of vomit lingering in her mouth. She stood up, splashed cold water over her drawn face, staring into a mirror and seeing a stranger. Who was that woman? Swallowing thickly, struggling to tear her still slightly blurry eyes from the image, she realised it was her.
Zeltron Information Broker - Mina Devor
Barabel Battle master, Jedi Councillor - Sholla Mae
Zeltron Junior Senatorial Aide - Dalain Merrimu (Devor)WIP
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