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Let it all out.; Thur will be swearingzz.
Topic Started: Jun 8 2008, 02:14 PM (6,012 Views)
Xigbar
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Cat Spy?
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I'm really starting to get that

glad i accidentally pressed enter on that


anyway.

I'm really starting to get that "move on" feeling. I also am getting that "go away no one would miss you" feeling. I'm not contributing to anything. I'm not productive. I sit and think about doing shit and never do.

It's sort of that feeling in your chest that rises to the back of your throat and you can feel it every time you breathe. You want to cry but it wouldn't really matter in the end if you did. No one would know, and you wouldn't tell anyone. Crying certainly wouldn't help you any, either.

I hate fear, I hate worry. But I'm getting tired of joking around.
Edited by Xigbar, Apr 20 2010, 04:58 AM.
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Styleful Nutter
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TUL Therapist
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Grand, big old FUCK YOU.

The amount I get bitched at for not paying attention, and for not listening to you, and for never being nice to you and you should realise where it's fucking come from. All I wanted to do was talk for five minutes, but every time I tried he's just so much more interesting, isn't he? So you know what, fuck off. You ask me how my day was, get annoyed when I don't give you a proper answer, but when I try you ignore me? What's the point?

Go to hell.
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Roxas is sooooo amazing. Everyone should adore her. Go! Praise Roxas! 8D


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Styleful Nutter
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TUL Therapist
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I can't do it. I can't get all the grades that you want me to. I just can't.

I'm sorry.
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Roxas is sooooo amazing. Everyone should adore her. Go! Praise Roxas! 8D


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Kyh
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Local
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This is ridiculous. I cry over the silliest things.
Posted Image%mh%-1565%mh%
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xxxbirthdaymassacre
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Regular
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Dear roofer guys at my house,

Gtfo >[

DANKE :]

-.- so much noise and make me have to wake up early... frickin people..
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind.

Eyes on fire
Your spine is ---ablaze---
Felling any foe with my gaze

And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace

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Styleful Nutter
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TUL Therapist
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Hello sun. Yes, I'm talking to you. What made you think you can start rising so goddamn early? Are you trying to torture me? Now, I wouldn't normally have a problem with you - we get on quite amiably really - but do you have to rise and spread your sunlight STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW? The window that lacks curtains that have a proper thickness, and so cannot block the light?

4 30 YOU ABSOLUTE WHORE D< THAT'S WHAT TIME YOU WOKE ME UP.
Posted Image

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Roxas is sooooo amazing. Everyone should adore her. Go! Praise Roxas! 8D


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Sparkiliciouss
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Vermicious Knid
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LEAVE
ME
THE
FUCK
ALONE
YOU
CREEPY
OFFENSIVE
CREEPY
INSANE
CREEPY
CAN'T-TAKE-A-HINT-EVEN-WHEN-IT-LOOKS-YOU-IN-THE-FACE
CREEPY
EXCUSE FOR A PERSON.
Posted Image

"In our world," said Eustace, "a star is a huge ball of flaming gas."
"Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, but only what it is made of."
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Styleful Nutter
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TUL Therapist
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When the first thing I do when I open the door is go 'That was a terrible day' it is not your cue to make it any goddamn worse! I had a bad day, so you go 'ohai unpack the shopping, tidy your room and stay up 'til 12am watching TV with us owait you have work in the morning OH WELL DO IT ANYWAY'

Fuck off. I am TIRED. I am going to take a BREAK. I have been working since 8 this morning, because my boss is an idiot and didn't tell me that I didn't have to be in 'til TEN. I AM NOT GOING TO CLEAN MY FUCKING ROOM BECAUSE YOU ARE A CLEAN FREAK.

I hate parents sometimes -_- Two more years 'til Uni and counting ...
Posted Image

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Posted ImagePosted Image

Roxas is sooooo amazing. Everyone should adore her. Go! Praise Roxas! 8D


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Xigbar
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Cat Spy?
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I think I'll have to start over again.
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Kyh
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Local
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Fuck sakes.
Ooc is Ooc.
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xxxbirthdaymassacre
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Regular
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Dear period...

do not give me fucking mood swings and any other emotional bull shit. i've got enough issues dealing with emotional crap without your help. i don't need you to make it that much easier to push me over the edge to snap at my boyfriend then cry cause i yelled at him for no reason.. i don't need to feel offended and hurt by comments that aren't mean at all. i don't need any extra help getting anxious and upset over nothing.

THANKS SO MUCH NOW LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU MAKE ME MISERABLE ENOUGH WITH THE PHYSICAL BULL AND EXTREME APPETITES LEAVE MY EMOTIONS ALONE
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind.

Eyes on fire
Your spine is ---ablaze---
Felling any foe with my gaze

And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace

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Walking Softly
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Stealth Leo
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Dear diary:
My dad is really worrying me.

He just turned 55 back in April. He found out he's got type 2 diabetes a few years ago, and it's been kicking his ass recently. He's allergic to half the foods on this earth, and no matter what he eats he always seems to end up sick. He got laid off from the only reasonable long-term job he's ever had (unionized, making van seats - actually really well-paying) about five years ago, and since then has been stuck in telemarketing hell where nobody respects him. His mom, my grandma, passed away in 2002. I had to let him know, three years ago or so, that his best friend had been starting to make some extremely disturbing advances on me, so he had to end that friendship. It really feels like life has been slowly but inexorably hacking the good bits out of his life.

He's actually sick sick right now, with a fever and sore throat. He's had a nightmare that was apparently so bad, so disturbing, that my mom told me it's affecting their relationship negatively. They've been married for 25 years and I have NEVER noticed strain in their marriage until this last year. Maybe it's partly something Mom's been doing, on purpose or by accident. She's in menopause, he's got a new dose of T, maybe there're some strains there. Maybe she's letting herself get obsessed with her crafts more than she used to. Maybe she's just frustrated with dad's worse and worse tendencies to not get anything done in the first three hours of being awake. I don't know.

My dad got diagnosed with low testosterone at the end of 2008. He's being treated, and for a good while it seemed to have brought him back to the energetic, happier person I remembered. The effects seem to be tailing off again, though. He mentioned that once in a while, he's intentionally not taking his daily dose. This is not cool - playing with your hormones isn't any better than playing with your heart medication.

I called Dad for Father's Day today, since his throat was too sore for him to talk on the phone yesterday. The way he responded reminds me so much of how a friend of mine responds when he's having a bad time that it makes me sick to my stomach - this friend is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder...

I know that practically everyone in North America has experienced a divorced family these days. It's not like I consider myself some saint above such earthly troubles. However... I have issues with that my parents seem to be relatively suddenly running into problems when one is 55 and the other is 60, and only a few things have changed - one of which is that I've moved out, and the other of which is that I came out as trans.

Suddenly I understand why kids develop guilt complexes about their parents' relationship issues.

I'm trying to reach out to my dad, and re-establish the communications we used to have so strongly. I'm really, really worried that he'll turn it down.

Ulcer time.
Posted Image<--- Silvarsh Posted Image <---Xoot Posted Image<---Aewyn. She finally gave me an egg - maybe she's bi?

Posted Image <-- I swear, I didn't hatch this one. o.o?

Status: Swamped permanently, due to being over the age of ten...
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