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| Let it all out.; Thur will be swearingzz. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 8 2008, 02:14 PM (6,023 Views) | |
| Sir Galahad | Oct 31 2008, 06:49 PM Post #106 |
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Resident
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why the fuck didn't anyone tell me that Helen was Josh's Whore before! What the fuck am I trying to fit in for in the first place! It's fucking not fair. And if anyone tells me it happens to everyone I'm gonna knife someone. Then shoot a fox into pulp. and it's litter. [size=14]FUCK!!!!!!!!![/size] |
| Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate | |
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| Sir Galahad | Oct 31 2008, 07:28 PM Post #107 |
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Resident
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why am I such a cock!!!! I don't want to be. I only want to love someone. |
| Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate | |
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| Pixel | Nov 1 2008, 02:45 PM Post #108 |
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God
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FUCK YOU DAD. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME MOVE AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOOD. FUCK YOU FOR TAKING THAT DAMN JOB OFFER FROM OHIO AND MAKING US MOVE. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING TONY AND SEDONA STAY IN KANSAS WHILE I CRY MYSELF SICK OVER HERE. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME LEAVE EVERYTHING I GREW UP WITH FOR. NINE. YEARS. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME LEAVE MY FRIENDS. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL. AND FUCK MY FRIENDS FOR MAKING ME HOMESICK. I. JUST. WANT. TO. GO HOME. |
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“We are the music-makers, and We are the dreamers of dreams.” - Willy Wonka <3 | |
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| Sparkiliciouss | Nov 6 2008, 10:56 PM Post #109 |
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Vermicious Knid
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Thank you. Thank you for making me feel lower than dirt. Thank you for making me feel like a moron, who is lower than dirt. Thank you for making me want to hit you for caring too much. Thank YOU for twisting my words, day after day, without fail. Thank you for being a complete bastard. Thank [size=5]you[/size] for all the criticism. It's just what I need right now, when I'm never home and can't sleep at night and always forget a homework assignment. Thank you for saying and asking me all the random, stupid things that you say to me and ask me. Thank you for not only taking my words out of context, but never letting me finish my sentances by constantly interrupting me to make me shut up. Thank you for being immature and throwing tantrums when you don't get your way...and thanks for calling me when I can't even move and letting me hear every word of it. Thank you for always scowling at me like that, even though I've never even said a word to you. You don't even know my name, bitch. Thank you for not bothering to talk to me anymore. Thank [size=14]you[/size] for taking all of my time; my afternoons, my evenings, my Saturdays; and for causing me physical exhaustion. And thank you, internet, for not bothering to load the C-Box here on TUL for a few weeks. I really appreciate it. Really. |
![]() "In our world," said Eustace, "a star is a huge ball of flaming gas." "Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, but only what it is made of." | |
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| The Penitent | Nov 7 2008, 01:42 PM Post #110 |
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Cat Spy?
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Why are you so confusing? Can't life just go in a straight line for once? |
![]() ![]() Fishplz.TUL's Community Team (A.K.A OOC Moderator) %mh%-5240%mh%%mh%-5240%mh% | |
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| Reaver | Nov 21 2008, 01:49 PM Post #111 |
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Reaver
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I love how you can all but destroy me with a simple flick of your cosmic finger and give me the collosal flip off of the century. One day..on one day everything can go superbly right..me and her and talking, we're actually talking..then me and the others are doing okay, everythings going smooth everyone is happy... then one by one as the day ends things start to go bad and it always points at me..what the fuck do you want from me...if you want me to end myself just put it up in bold fucking neon for christs sake..stop fucking with it like a fucking ant farm you play around with to see what'll happen... |
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One side of my eyes see tomorrow, And the other one see yesterday I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes I Reavey, am completely owned by Raiiny. And will no longer be critical of spelling errors. I will also loose at any placed bets. | |
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| Xigbar | Nov 21 2008, 02:45 PM Post #112 |
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Cat Spy?
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My arm hurts. Whine complain cry. |
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| Reaver | Nov 21 2008, 07:13 PM Post #113 |
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Reaver
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-pats Xigbar and hugs- here some hot/cold pads for your arm <3 |
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One side of my eyes see tomorrow, And the other one see yesterday I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes I Reavey, am completely owned by Raiiny. And will no longer be critical of spelling errors. I will also loose at any placed bets. | |
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| Xigbar | Nov 21 2008, 10:41 PM Post #114 |
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Cat Spy?
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You're soo kind to me. I don't know how I can ever repay you. |
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| Reaver | Nov 22 2008, 01:51 AM Post #115 |
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Reaver
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The sarcasm is thanks enough <3 =3 |
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One side of my eyes see tomorrow, And the other one see yesterday I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes I Reavey, am completely owned by Raiiny. And will no longer be critical of spelling errors. I will also loose at any placed bets. | |
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| The Penitent | Dec 6 2008, 09:54 AM Post #116 |
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Cat Spy?
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OK, so now I'm not confused. I'm dumped. |
![]() ![]() Fishplz.TUL's Community Team (A.K.A OOC Moderator) %mh%-5240%mh%%mh%-5240%mh% | |
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| Sparkiliciouss | Dec 6 2008, 08:10 PM Post #117 |
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Vermicious Knid
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Why do you do this to me? Every fucking time, why do you do this to me? I want nothing more than to see my best for the few days she's in town. You know the one. SHE LIVES IN CALIFORNIA. I know you don't really have any friends of your own. Is it so hard to understand that I love my friends dearly and wouldn't pass up this chance to see her again for anything, even a trip to see your ailing parents? Why do you always question me about her, and look at me like that whenever we talk about it? I'M NOT A FUCKING LESBIAN. SHE'S JUST THE PERSON I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH MOST. Is it so hard to make plans and stick with them? I know you don't work on that Saturday, but so what? Go YOURSELF. I don't want to go! I never want to go! I HATE GOING! I hate talking about it with you. You make me feel so awkward and selfish and miserable. There's nothing wrong with going during Spring Break. This is the only thing I've looked forward to since she moved and you know it. Why are you doing this to me? You didn't even want to go either. But then they told you about his treatments. It sucks. I understand that. But he's old. These things happen to old people. So if you're so determined to go see them, fucking do it yourself. You don't even get along with your own mother most of the time. Do you think it'll be any different now? I hate this. I hate talking with you about his. I hate this situation. I hate teling her that I might not be here waiting for her. Fuck. Normally, I like to sit back and let life take the reins. Whatever happens, happens. But no way in Hell and I letting that happen this time. I don't need the tears later. So fuck it. I'm going to be a bitch. I'm going to be an asshole. I'm going to be a selfish, bitchy asshole. I'm going to make sure things work out how they need to. |
![]() "In our world," said Eustace, "a star is a huge ball of flaming gas." "Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, but only what it is made of." | |
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| eiPod | Dec 7 2008, 12:29 AM Post #118 |
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pun princess.
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I don't care about anything tomorrow but letting you down. so please stop lying. and to you, no, i'm not your mother. no, ryan isn't your mother. we're not trying to be, and we're not telling you what to do with your life. but you know that you wouldn't be skipping or stealing every little thing or staying out until 5 in the goddamn morning every night for either of us. it's all for fucking emily. you know why you like her? because she's overdramatic and stupid and immature and you need someone to back you up on all the retarded ass shit you do. she's boring as hell. so you know what, I'm done. do whatever the hell you want. I'm just going to sit here in the background and wait for her to fuck you over enough to where once again, I am the only person who never did anything to hurt you. also, thank you for never taking me seriously. I don't trust you any more. (and the "look at me, I'm such a hardass because I know how to burn myself and skip class and drink one bottle of my mom's shitty beer" routine isn't cute. shut the fuck up.) |: |
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at night they'd go walking, till the break of the day. the morning's for sleeping through the dark streets they go searching, to see god in their own way. save the night time for your weeping your weeping. [needanything?] %mh%-5865%mh% | |
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| Another Soapbox | Dec 7 2008, 07:17 PM Post #119 |
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verax.ipsi.esto
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I feel like the whole world revolves around nothing. Our reality is diminished to nothing but what is culturally acceptable. College; work; being empathetic; being ambitious and productive; respect; MUTUAL respect; marriage and offspring; so on and so forth. It’s a constant, paranoid tick that buzzes through my brain. The constant questioning of my existence versus my effects on others – it’s so surreal to think about. My eyes are blurring from lack of sleep – nearing the 30rth hour of not succumbing to blissful – or the opposite or nonexistent or irrelevant or irreverent or regardless or ridiculous or stopping-this-now – sleep. I lost my sphere. Thoughts out; Tongue stalled Anyway - the point of the matter is that... in the end, the bubble popped. We're here, thrust back into the dirt and grime and disaster surrounding "real life." So much of it is our doing, of course – hardly ever circumstance – but think of beyond, the world, as a whole being systematically destroyed. People being desensitized, dehumanized, deconstructed, and obliterated into obsolete of absolute-fucking-nothing. That’s neither here nor there; but that’s only a matter of perspective, isn’t it? According to everyone, everything is a matter of perspective. Happiness; love; desire; lust; passion – all construed as perspective. per•spec•tive n. a .A view or vista. b. A mental view or outlook c. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole: a perspective of history; a need to view the problem in the proper perspective. d. Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view e. The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance f. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole g. Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view adj. Of, relating to, seen, or represented in perspective. The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance - what matters? Does anything? Entirely apathetic to the entirety of everything. The entire world could cave upon itself and that would be the end. Interrelations - that's a funny word: in⋅ter⋅re⋅la⋅tion; mutual or reciprocal relation or relatedness - the intersecting circles of our very cores and existences. Comparative importance? Just to whom are we comparing importance? We are always more important than anyone - as much as we say we place others first, in the end, it's the animalistic desire to survive that fuels the primal instinct to live and thus, subconsciously (in my opinion, obviously) the utmost important person in our lives is ourselves. Without me, I wouldn't be trying to compare and reiterate or level or rank anyone to terms of anything. Man, this one is longwinded but I don't want to kill it prematurely. But, anyway, the other situation is this necessity to have others be important. There is a reason we feel close to certain people; there is a reason we RANK and COMPARE relations (interrelations). The reason, it feels, is the self-importance, delusional hope that someone somewhere will understand and help you and make you realize that you. are. okay. that. you. matter. that. THIS. makes. sense. all I want is to matter. I felt like that was bring in this emotional diatribe that is pointless. END. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole - oh. dear. Relationships of aspects of a SUBJECT to EACH OTHER and to a WHOLE. Relationship is another funny word - re⋅la⋅tion; an existing connection; a significant association between or among things - doesn't that bring back the perspective thing? Or "existing connection" or "significant association." Significant? Really? How is anyone significant when nothing. fucking. ever. exists. Or even, association? What the hell! Our brains are so interesting - we associate, regulate, compartmentalize, push away, dig deeper all in the terms of any spatial movement. We can do all of that in the matter of seconds, it seems, with enough cognitive process. You can, literally, go from face buried in your hands with tears in your eyes to focusing on what needs to get done in the time it takes you to take a few breaths. You don't deal with it. You push it down, pretend, and hope for nothing. You hope no one out there sees it and everything that is a trouble can magically disappear... but the dirty little secret is that you want EVERYONE to notice how upset, miserable, disjointed, out of focus, irrelevant, and pointless you feel. And the dirtier secret - you want them to ask because that tiny, INsignificant semi-unjustifiable validation can. make. you. feel. human. In this world where everyone sometimes seems like an animal or a robot or some invalidated, inanimate object - to feel human is to feel sane, even for the tiniest of a split-second, you can pause and realize everyone everywhere can feel the same thing you do. that what you are experiencing isn't some isolated instance - you. are. human. I am a person. Insanity and sanity are so gray, by the way. I think I may have lost the initial idea, so I backtrack: Relationships of aspects of a SUBJECT to EACH OTHER and to a WHOLE - A subject - any subject - to each other but... at the same time, to a whole. It's me to you but to us. So that goes into the idea of us as a whole or anyone as a whole - can two people complete each other enough to form a whole? Isn't that making it seem as though we are half of a person to begin with? That we spend our ENTIRE lives searching for that OTHER HALF. I don't want that, but at the same time that's the only thing I can fathom wanting. Maybe. Maybe not. I want everything life has to offer, as I want to conquer the world. But, again, that is neither here nor there. Now I'm getting spacy. I just want to feel something than what is expected of me - I'm expected to hurt, to be hurt, to act this way, to act that way, to be confused, to be upset, to not understand. I just want to feel, it seems. Not to "feel," you know, in the sense that's what a normal, productive, socially accepted member of society would feel in this given situation... but to feel just to feel. Masochism, maybe, or some idea that does not even make sense. (i.e. that. THIS. makes. sense.). I want to feel the burn in my legs when I walk uphill to retrieve a car on a random adventure - not to feel the pain, but to actually realize the sensation my body is creating. The oxygen and the lack of oxygen and the anabolic acid. There is SO much that goes into EVERYTHING. I need to do it again! I need to THINK about THINKING about it. I want to feel my heart breaking for the pure understanding of the human spectrum of emotion. I want to feel love, or my perspective on love (there is sometimes a flow, apparently), to know what it is like. All of it, any of it, none of it. Do I want to be spared the pain? No clue. There goes the emotional diatribe. END. It’s funny to come full circle. This whole thing – my life, your life, OUR life, her life, his life, THEIR life – is so funny. So many lives! They are everywhere and nowhere and always apparent and hidden and just GONE. just. gone. end. don't even make sense of any of this. gotta get it out. btw - fuck you for fucking with me. both of you. how dare you do this to a person, especially someone as emotionally fucked up as i am. |
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Smile for the camera, sweetheart. I really wanna immortalize the moment. Just remember, sweetheart, the first step in forgetting Is destroying all the evidence. Does it make a difference? This is the way it is. %mh%-12575%mh% | |
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| Cab | Dec 8 2008, 12:35 PM Post #120 |
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shame.
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:( I have to have a heart-tracer. |
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You wrote my name in the sand In this endless summer We will be together %mh%-7590%mh% | |
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3:37 AM Jul 11