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Life as a Series of Questions and Exclamations; Encore!
Topic Started: Jul 20 2014, 09:13 AM (36 Views)
Lemony Snicket
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Childhood. What is it, a boy or a girl? When’s the christening? A strapping lad! Mama, don’t drop him! Ah, Ah! He’ll fall!! Has he cut his teeth? Has he got eczema? Take the cat from him, otherwise she’ll scratch him! Pull grandpa’s moustache! That’s it! Don’t cry! The goblins will get you! He’s already walking! Take him away, that’s not polite! What’s he done to you? Your poor jacket! Never mind, we’ll get it dry! He’s upset the ink! Go to sleep, chickabiddy! He’s already talking! Ah, what a charmer! Come on then, say something! He was nearly run over! Time to get rid of nanny! Don’t stand in the draught! You should be ashamed, how could you smack such a little one? Don’t cry! Give him a cakey!


Boyhood. Just you come here, I’ll teach you a lesson! Where did you manage to smash your nose? Don’t upset mummy!

You’re not a toddler! Don’t come up to the table, it’s your turn after! Read it! So you don’t know it! Stand in the corner! One out of ten! Don’t put nails in your pocket! Why won’t you listen to what mummy says? Eat properly! Don’t pick your nose! Was it you who hit Mitya? He fired it! Read me ‘The Bear’s Ear’! What is the nominative plural? Decline it and learn it! Leave the classroom! No dinner for you tonight! Bedtime, beddybyes! It’s ten already! He always plays up when we have visitors! You’re lying! Comb your hair! Leave the table! Come on then, show me your marks’ book! You’ve already torn those boots?! A grown up like you shouldn’t cry! How did you get this uniform dirty? You’re eating us out of house and home! One out of ten again? Thrashing is too good for you! If you’re going to smoke, then I’ll throw you out of the house!
What is the superlative of facilis? Facilissimus? Rubbish! Who polished off this wine? Children, there’s a performing monkey in the yard! Why have you stopped my son from going up a form again? Grandma is here!

Youth. You’re too young to drink vodka! Tell me the sequence of tenses of verbs! Not yet, not yet, young man! At your age I knew nothing at all about that! Are you still afraid to smoke in front of your father? Ah, what a disgrace! Ninochka sends her best wishes! We’ll take Bellum Gallicum! Is this the ut consecutivum? Ah, my sweetheart! Don’t, young Sir, or else… I’ll tell papa! Enough, enough… you swine! Hurray, at last my beard is growing! Where? You painted that on, its not growing! Nadine has a most wonderful chin! What class are you in now? You must agree, papa, that it’s unthinkable for me not to have pocket money! Natasha? Yes I know her! I was at her place! So it was you? You’re a quiet one! Let’s have a fag! If only you knew how much I love her! She’s a goddess! I’ll finish my course here and I’ll marry her! It’s none of your business mother! I’ll dedicate my poems to you! Do stop smoking! I get drunk after only three glasses! Encore! Encore! Braaavo! Do you mean to say you haven’t read Bourne? Not the cosine, the sine! Where’s the tangent? Sonya has not got pretty legs! What about a kiss? Let’s drink to it! Hurrah, I’ve finished my course! Write to me! Lend me 25 roubles! Father, I’m getting married! But I promised her! Where were you last night?


Between 20 and 30. Lend me 100 roubles! What faculty? I don’t care in the slightest! It’s cheap all the same! Let’s go to ‘The Shoot Out’, then back here! Encore, encore! How much do I owe you? What’s showing today? If only you knew how much I love you! Yes or no? yes? Ah, my sweetheart! Threw me out! What a man! Do you drink sherry?
Marya, bring me some pickled cucumbers! Is the editor in? What, I have no talent? Strange! What will I live on? Lend me five roubles! To Le Salon! Gentlemen, dawn breaks! I chucked her! Lend me a dinner jacket! In-off into the corner! I’m drunk enough as it is! Doctor, I’m dying! Lend me enough for the medicine! I nearly died! Have I gone thinner? Shall we go to The Ravine! It’s worth it! Give me some work! Please! Errrr… you’re such an idler! How can you be so late? Money is not important! No, good Sir, it is important! I’ll kill myself! That’s enough! Damn him, damn the lot of them! Farewell wretched life! Well… not yet! Is that you, Liza? My life is done for, mother! I’ve had my day! Give me some work uncle! Aunt, your carriage is ready! Merci, mon oncle! Don’t you think I’ve changed uncle? What do you mean, dog-like? Ha-ha! Sign this paper! Marry? Never! She’s, unfortunately she’s married! Your excellency! Introduce me to your grandmother, Serge! Princess, you are enchanting! Old? Nonsense! You are fishing for compliments! Give me a seat in the stalls, second row!

Between 30 and 50. It’s gone bankrupt! May I sit here? Ten no trumps! Seven of clubs! Your turn to deal, votre excellence. Doctor, you are monstrous! You say it’s obesity of the liver? Nonsense! How much these doctors charge! How much is her dowry? You don’t love her now, but in time you’ll come to love her! To a happy marriage! I’m simply not able, my sweetest, to stop gambling! A stomach ulcer? A son or a daughter? Takes after the father! Ha-ha… I didn’t recognise you! I’ve had some luck, sweetheart! Damn it, I’ve lost again! A son or a daughter? Takes after… his father! I swear to you, I do not know her! Stop being so jealous! Let’s go Fanny! A bracelet? Some champagne! Here’s to my promotion! Merci! What must I do to slim?
I’m bald?! Don’t nag so, mother-in-law! A son or a daughter? I’m drunk, Carolinghen! Let me give you a kiss, Fraulein! Again that bastard with my wife! How many children do you have? Help a poor man! What a lovely daughter you have! They printed it in the papers, the swine! Just you come here, I’ll give you a thrashing, horrible boy! Was it you sat on my wig?



Old Age. Shall we visit the spa? Marry him, my child! He’s stupid? Enough! She dances badly, but what legs! A hundred roubles… for a kiss?! Ah, you little devil! He-he-he! Shall I give you a fritillary, little girl? Look, son, you’re, how shall I say, immoral! You have forgotten your manners young man! Shh! Shh! Shh! I lyove music! Cham… cham… champagne! Are you reading Punch? He-he-he! I’ve brought sweeties for the grandchildren! My son is excellent, but I was better! Where are they now, the snows of yesteryear? I have’n’t forgotten you either, Emmochka, in my will! That’s what I’m like! Papa, let me have your watch. Dropsy? Surely not? Rest in peace! The family are in tears! That mourning dress looks well on her! There’s a smell from him! Peace to your ashes, labourer in the vineyard!
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