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We Shall Travel in On the Calm Black Water
Topic Started: Dec 20 2007, 06:39 PM (951 Views)
sneezing_stardust
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In a dream I shall muse what runs blue among the foliage;
what marvels Satan’s malice men
who by starlight frame the basking moonlit sky.

The wine of shadowlands slips amorously
into a nest of mad kisses, this sea breaks valor
By some slumbering alder, tucked in endless flight
- Amid her hair where gray stars are sleeping.

We shall travel in, on the calm black water
embroidered with black moss, our great veils rising
upon some pale vertebrae, unfathomable space;
Your hands too numb to feel your voice.

Two cold, gray, ghastly eyes of sea,
devouring the dark azures where gleams of the daylight
scent this fetish twilight, save for the twisted trees.
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Admin
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wow! A very well done to you, while there are loads of words and adjectives, the alliteration and assonance is a treat. The imagery is abundant and your choice of words are very well thought out. I wish I could offer some advice.

My only complaint is that it was not long enough. Shock and horror, the admin thinks it was not long enough? It goes into my favourites. I know a lot of members here do not understand my choice of favourites, but when you are admin, who cares. :P At least I know what's good.
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sneezing_stardust
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I love you too, my sweet, feathered companion.
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